Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Healing~It's all about TRUST!

What do I, a mom of a special needs child, think of healing? I was raised Pentecostal and have seen thousands of people prayed for over the last 44 years but I can not truly say I've seen a real miracle. We thought that God had touched Sam's eye 2 years ago when the doctors were sure that the retina had detached but even then it was not a total healing, it seemed to be a "crises healing' where nothing got any worse than it originally was. Now however we find that that retina has detached AND the eye is dead/decaying....so was it a "miracle" 2 years ago or just a wrong diagnosis?

In the past 2 years, I have seen three middle aged ministers/spouses die from cancer despite hundreds of prayers...I told Jon recently that I wasn't praying for anyone else because everyone I pray for dies! Three people associated with our church died in the last couple of years also.

My husband is an Assembly of God minister and in our tenets of faith, we believe that healing is provided for in the atonement. In other words, through Jesus' death on the cross, He paid the price for our healing. So where is all the healing? I have friends who are in different denominations and fellowships and they don't see healings either, Church of God, Word of Faith etc...They are all "believing God for a miracle" but the miracles never come. I don't mean "miracle" like "PTL, my headache is gone..." Or some medically explainable reversal happens, like someone responses to chemo or surgery. I mean there are no miracles that I know of that have happened without medical intervention ones that can be proven by medical records.

Are you seeing the blind healed, the deaf hearing, the lame walking? How about the Down's syndrome or child with CP healed? Are people being healed of AIDS? It is not happening!

Even in the NT Bible times, Paul wrote of saints dying, he told Timothy to take a little wine for the stomach sake (seems to indict that Timothy may have had some stomach problems) and he talked about having to leave one of his workers behind as he was ill. Paul even talked about his thorn in the flesh that many feel was poor eyesight, so not everyone walked in "divine healing"

I see now especially in the Charismatic/Word of Faith movement ministers get sick or have a child with problems, they want to play it down. One big leader in the Word of Faith movement has s son with autism and the boy is almost an adult and it is played down so much. Why? Because I feel since the child is not perfect and the healing hasn't come, the minister is afraid of being looked down on for not having enough faith... I know another minister who has a child with a physical deformity and they are always "believing God for a miracle" Get over and accept your children!

What is REAL FAITH? Is it not, just simply trusting God? It has always worried me when folks run around chanting silly things and expecting God to move. When a certain phrase is uttered and we expect God to HAVE to do something to please us, then what's the difference between Christians and people that believe in voodoo? It's all man trying to make God move in a way that makes them happy! Wow, us insignificant humans trying to tell the God of this universe what to do! Is that not the stupidest thing you've ever heard????

So where does that leave us, are we without hope? No~ we have hope. If you trust in God, no matter what the outcome, He will take care of you. You may not get what YOU want and live forever on this earth, but you will live forever with Him. Will I quit praying for God to heal Sam? No, but I do pray for God's will to be done. How safe is that? Years ago, I wasn't sure about that, I half thought it was always God's will to heal, and now I know it is His will but our timing and His may not be the same. We ALL want the quick fix instead of allowing the circumstances of our lives push us towards God. But if we will trust God enough to say "Father your will be done" is that not true faith. Trusting the He knows what is best, and that He knows the end from the beginning, frees us to know we are in His hands! He should be the driver of our life and we should be the passenger. Who is in control of your life? God or you?

It seems so simple to me. God made this earth perfect. Adam and Eve chose to sin thus sin and death entered the world. God sent Jesus to redeem the world and save us. However we still live in a fallen world thus we deal with death and disease until that final day when we go to be with the Lord or He comes to get us. That is it in a nutshell.

So how do I deal with this personally? I truly trust God. There is nothing else I can do. I have found a peace that truly passes all understanding. Does that mean I never am sad or worried about Sam's condition? No but even when my heart is aching I can whisper, "God I trust you" Does that make me a saint? No that ain't happening! But I know in my core that God is in control so no matter what happens, I can lean on Him! I don't know why God is not moving with signs and wonders in this particular time but I believe He could if He chooses to do so. I don't think that we as the body of Christ is in such gross sin that God can't move but I rather feel that God seems to move in waves if you look at church history. Obviously when Jesus was on the earth, He did alot of healings BUT He didn't heal everyone EVERYWHERE he went for various reasons. He died heal Lazarus and raise him from the dead but Lazarus still died. I don't see him walking around anywheres today. In the NT times, there were healings but as I wrote before, there was also place for sickness and obviously everyone ws not healed. In church history there are healings throughout but not huge amounts until we get to 1940-70. There seemed to be an out pouring of healing around the world at that time. Then by the 80's healings had become weird. I remember some guy praying for my cuz I had one leg longer than the other according to him. I was trying not to crack up while it was going on. He pronounced me healed and whole and I never even knew I had a problem:) I hear of healing over seas but in this day and age, if there were healings that could be documented, it would be on the news, at least Christian news. I don't hear of our missionaries getting people healed of AIDS. If it was happening, I would hear it!!!

We have taken Sam forward for prayer for healing many times. We taken him to services where there was a well known minister who has seen some documented healings in the past and we had Sam prayed for. We were invited as pastors to another service when he was little and a well known evangelist was going to pray for him. He knew we were there as invited guests and he called us forward for prayer. He was such a farce and a fake it was unbelievable! Instead of praying for Sam, he said I need to have my eyes healed, cuz it was a generational curse. (My eye problem and Sam's problem is not even in the same category of eye problems) So he proceeded to pray for me ON CAMERA! He never did pray for Sam. I just stood there and glared at him then took my baby and went to the back of the auditorium and cried. I cried out of frustration that someone would be so fake and weird! But through it all, I knew in my heart that I could trust God!!! If somethinkg like that were to ever happen to me again, I would rebuke the minister before the congregation. And if you want to know who it was, feel free to call me!

So do I not believe in healing? No I believe God can heal. I just think we Christians think the healing should come when and where we want. Would I love for Sam to be healed? DUMB QUESTION! of course I would love that! I dream of that happening but I trust God!!!!!!! No matter how long we live on this earth, it is but a blink of the eye in the light of eternity and I know then my son will be totally healed and I can't wait for that day! Until then I will trust God, if God heals him on this earth as a sign and a wonder so be it! I will give God all the praise but if He waits until that we stand before Him, I will still give Him all the praise and the glory!!!!!