Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Turning 45 years old!!!!!

Wow in a few days I'll be 45 years old!! How is that possible? Ive met the requirement to be "middle aged" since how many people actually live to be 90? So probably more of my life is behind me than in front of me...somebody send me some happy pills!!!!

I'm not in some ways where I thought I'd be at 45 years old. I never really thought too much about it, but I know I probably didn't think I'd still be doing diapers and having little kids:) I'm at least happy with the way I look, no gray, I've NEVER had to color my hair (although I know some people who think I do!) I don't have too many wrinkles, I'm in pretty good shape physically, so at least that part is good. I have a great husband who I love now more than ever before in my life. We have a true partnership and friendship. These past almost 7 years of being Sam's parents have made us grow closer together. But we're not dependant on each other either...I LOVE where we are at! I love being a mom to my 3 boys and I love the different stages of their lives that we go through. Right now it's fun to be a mom to a teenager and participate vicariously in his life:) I love seeing what our oldest does and how he is becoming a man.

It's interesting being a pastor's wife, I've learned alot through the experience...not always the best about human nature but nevertheless I've learned...

I feel my life is grounded now and although I don't have alot of freedom with Sam (since he requires alot of care) I'm very happy and content where God has me. Is it the same place I thought it would be at this point in life, NO not really but God is God and He leads us...

IN the past 45 years, I've learned alot. There are a few things I'd do different if I could go back, times where I've hurt others, but for the most part even the heartaches of life have taught me well. Life is interesting, it can be scary but when you learn to roll with the punches, it does make life much easier to deal with! Even hard times gives us the depth that we need not to be shallow people. Now I don't like hard times anymore than anyone else but they do enrich our lives if we let them.

Let me share with you this quote i just recently read in Mary Beth Chapman's book "Choosing to See" "Even the saddest things can become,once we have made peace with them, a source of wisdom & strength for the journey,that lies ahead"

my favorite poem

"My life is but a weaving between the Lord & me;
I cannot choose the colors
He worketh steadily
Oftimes He weaveth sorrow
and I in foolish pride
forget He sees
the upper and I the underside.
Not 'til the loom is silent
and the shuttles cease to fly
shall God unroll the canvas
and explain the reason why
The dark threads are as needful in the Weaver's skillful hand
as the threads of gold and silver in the
pattern He has planned

That kind of says it all...if our lives are in His hands, then He is in control. That doesn't mean hard times won't come, I know that, but it means He is with you in those hard times. I really wouldn't trade the life I have lived for anyone. Not that it's been pain free, far from it, but it's given me a depth that I'd never would have had otherwise. I appreciate the good times, I know they can change but I'm thankful for normal boring days,,,

On a bit lighter note, it is funny how much technology has changed in 45 years...remember the old black phones? We even had a "party " line so you'd be able to listen to your neighbors calls...that was fun!!! Now my teen has a cell phone:) The kids ask me questions like "did you have a fridge back in the old days? How old do they think I am!!!! The crack up when I tell them we didn't have tv until I was 4 yrs old and then we only had 4 channels in black and white!!!!

So life is interesting, wonder what the next 45 years hold...?

1 comment:

  1. Yvonne, one of the nice things about being 45 or middle aged is that we do have more wisdom than our foolish younger years. Our past experiences and all we learned from them help us become the stable, grounded, comfortable people we are at middle age. It makes us more appreciative of all that is good and fun and blessed, etc. So I can't party all night now but I know the still of the night is meant more for appreciation of God and His beauty whether that is spent in prayer or time with family. I don't know what comes with being "old" but I have a great thankfulness for middle age! Thanks be to God!