Monday, December 31, 2012

New Year's Eve

Reading over FB made me realize that today is New Year's Eve!  Duh!   For some reason, I just hadn't caught on to that:)  

On New Year's Eve, we often look back over the past year and reflect.  Well this year has brought me to the very highest place and the very lowest place.  I can not imagine having another year like this one.  It started with such anticipation as we got ready to welcome our new children home.  A year ago today we had a HUGE financial miracle for our adoption and over $10,000 came in in ONE day to pay for the adoption!   Jon & I were just in tears throughout the day as we checked our page on Reece's Rainbow and watched the total funding grow higher and then as we got a  phone call saying a large check was coming for their adoption.  It was amazing!  We ended the day with our family and my in laws around the fire out back:)  What a day! 

Obviously this day is going to be very different....many things have transpired since last New Year's Eve....

We started last year with great anticapiton, our paperwork was in, we were just waiting on Ukraine (and waiting and waiting) to tell us to "Come"  We had hoped to go in February but didn't leave until March.  Our whole lives were on hold not knowing the date we were leaving.  We didn't make any long range plans, we just waited and got everything ready and perfect for our girls! 

Every morning once the dates started coming I had my phone right beside me, hoping today would be the day that I'd get the call!  That day finally came and I almost  passed out!!!!!   It came later in the morning, after I'd given up hope....oh but I was so glad to hear the stateside assistant tell me we had a date!!!!!!  All the last minute running around....then we finally left for our appointment in Kiev!  And after all the stuff in the capital it was on to the all night train ride on the "hell train" as we like to refer to it....Let's just say it had much to be desired!  Then another 1.5 hour van ride ( in a 1970 Russian army van- and no I am not making this up) on terrible dirt roads, as fast as we could go till we got to the girls town of Torez.  Then we met with a bunch of people and our facilitator did whatever he was to do and then finally on to the adult mental institution to meet our girls....after we went through more talking in the director's office.  Let me just tell you, when you are minutes away from meeting your children, you can not think of anything else.....  Finally all the preliminaries were done and we walked out into the courtyard, to the old building in the back.  We went up a smelly staircase and at the top in a little alcove were the two little girls we had come half way around the world to get....Sarah & Selah!   Sarah was in a wheelchair and Selah was standing, I didn't know who to grab first so I just grabbed both of them!  

There is something so spiritual about meeting your children for the first time whether it is by childbirth or adoption.  There is something so sacred about adoption.  You've chosen that little person and you have dreamed about that little person and worked so hard to get to that little person and then you are there.....it is amazing!!!!   I'm blessed to have experienced that twice in my life! 

So then we spent the next 6 weeks living in Torez Ukraine.  I loved that poor little Ukrainian town near the Russian border.  Yes it was hard living but it was so real.  When it was time to leave, I really didn't want to go.  (although that might have been the thought of all that was to come....traveling back home with 3 little people (we had Sam with us also)  and the trip on the train was ahead!) 

The day came when we left the orphanage, adult mental institution, the internot, whatever you want to call it they were free!!!!!!!!!  That was just an incredible day.....then off to Kiev to do all the American embassy stuff and then on to home....HOME.....with our girls.....

That night that we were all finally home and everyone was in their beds....I can not tell you the peace I felt when I laid down to sleep.....

Then the most wonderful 14 weeks of my life....it went so quick...if I had only known, I would have cherished each moment even more dearer than I did......   ( just typing that makes me cry...you have no idea how very happy that short time was)

Then our first road trip, up to NY to Sam's eye doctor and the chance of Sarah being helped also....

The ACCIDENT August 15, 2012 changed our lives forever....

The days of not knowing if Selah would live, the weeks of no responses...

Finally around the first of October, she began responding a tiny bit....then we got her on the fish oil study and saw her responses come more often, more consistently, they began to build....

Then the gut wrenching transfer down to Florida and seeing her regress....

Now we are preparing to take a new step on this journey...going HOME....soon I will have all my kids under one roof again.  It's been almost 5 months.The whole adoption from commitment to the day we traveled took less than 5 months!!!! 

I never dreamed last New Year's Eve of all the twists and turns that 2012 would have in store for us.  I never dreamed I'd be away from home for more than 6 months ( including the adoption and the accident we have been away from home for 27 weeks!!!!!!)   I'm such a homebody, God has given me the grace to do it and not complain but be content in "whatever state" I was in...that is a real miracle!

I also never dreamed I'd know God's sustaining grace over all in my life like I can say I know it now.  God never left us through the very darkest days....His love and peace were with us.  I look back and am just amazed at how God brought us through....it was not us, it was not me, it was God's grace in our lives. 

I have not felt abandoned by God, I've not felt let down by God.  How can I not trust this God who although He is the ruler of this Universe, takes the time to speak peace to my heart as I am running towards the ambulances, knowing somehow in my heart, that my family is involved......  What a God I serve!  Sure if He were a magic genie, He could make my life a rose garden but, without going into a whole theological discussion here, that is not who God is.   I believe in the biblical accounts, and I believe when Adam and Eve sinned, sin came into the world with death and heartache,  That is not what God wanted but he allowed man to have his own free will and in that free will man chose to bring that upon the whole human race.  Therefore we live in a fallen crappy world.  Things happen...the bible tells us that "many are the afflictions of the righteous but the Lord delivers them from them all"  Jesus said "in this world you will have trouble..."   That is just the gist of it....

I'm thankful that God has been with us.  I can not imagine going through this past year without God's strength.  It has certainly not been in my strength!  Even the adoption was taxing....very hard but God helped us and we made it through! 

What a year this 2012 has been....I don't know what lies ahead in 2013, it may be good or it may be hard but I am confident that the same God who has been with us through 2012 and all the previous years before., wll be with us in this coming year.

I pray that each of you will find that same peace for the year that lies ahead for you. 

3 comments:

  1. This post just makes me want to shout 'hallelujah' and whisper 'selah' (in the Biblical sense of the word as well!!) at the same time!! Thank you for sharing your real life...and your very real God!!

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  2. What a great post to end 2012 with, Yvonne...How true...God is faithful and He loves us so much...
    Thank you dear saint for sharing your joys and dark times with us....It really does make a difference
    when we share our burdens and our witness of what the Lord does in our lives....
    Love from NC

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  3. We can't have roses without the thorns....

    I wanted you to know that thanks to you, I will be supporting Reece's Rainbow through my craft business! I don't know if we will ever be able to adopt--but you have touched my heart so much that I knew I needed to support this organization.

    I hope that 2013 brings so much joy and happiness to you and your family, and that Selah continues to heal!

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