Saturday, January 26, 2013

Day 83 Fish OIl Study and "I just can not believe some people"

Selah is doing great!  She has had no issues and is ready to go home on Tuesday!  We got up and left really early this morning so we could finish up our tickets at St Augustine since it is on our way home.  We had tickets for the Fountain of Youth and I really needed to drink some water LOL

After we went there (and it i really interesting!) we went downtown to look at a few of the churches.  We stopped at a Denny's and were sitting and enjoying lunch when we had one of the worst experience of rudeness ever!!!!

We were at a long table, Sarah was in a high chair at the end with Jon on her left and me on her right.  Shad was sitting nxt to me and Sam was sitting between Jon and Steve.....   A large group of people came in, I'd presume a family, and were to be seated next to us.  As I was feeding Sarah two of the children actually got between Jon and Sarah and literally got in her face.  The mom was just looking on seeming mildly amused.....OH MY LORD!  Without even thinking I raised my voice and said "Get away from my child NOW!"  "Go to your mother"  They all treated it as a joke!  I said to the mother "this is extremely rude, you need to teach your children manners"  She just looked at me and asked to be moved...well I don't think our waitress saw what had happened so she didn't react like the man in Texas.....

For the record, these kids were elementary age perhaps one of them was middle school age, not little kids. 

Please if you have children, instruct them how to be polite.  Unless they are paying money at a freak show to look at someone, then tell them  do NOT stare!!!!!!!  I was a mom for 9 years before I was a mom of a handicapped child and I can promise you my son never did something like that and if he had ....he would have been sorry!  I would not have been standing around smirking....

And I do NOT want to hear that that was an opportunity for me to have a "teaching moment" with those children....I do believe we had a "teaching moment!!!!  It is NOT my place to teach some brat how to act!  But I hope they remember how I reacted and think twice before doing something like that again! 

It amazes me how some people act...you would think in this new age of "tolerance" that people wouldn't stare and act rude around little children!  Lord knows I see enough other things that I chose to not gawk at and I don't mean disabled people! 

I was raised about as "un politically correct" as possible...some of you would die if I told you how my family was....I'll keep it to myself... But even I knew enough to not stare at others...  I just can't get over people!  But my days of letting it make me cry or feel icky is so so over....  Now it's "Right back at you"  If you have enough "whatever" to stare, I"ve certainly got alot more "whatever" to call you out on it!  My kids are beyond precious to me and I'm thrilled that I'm their mama and I will protect them even if they don't understand it!  Because maybe the next time that person sees a handicapped person, who might be personally hurt by the staring, they will be afraid to stare and be rude!

Guess what?  Anyone reading this could have a car accident and become incredibly disabled or it could happen to your child....and believe me, you would not want to be stared at!  It's awful to be looked at like you are some type of freak! 

Ok my ranting is over for now......

I have some great photos but can't get them to post.  I enjoy seeing the boys having fun and really learning something at the same time.  Beats Disneyland any day!  Sarah liked being in the stroller and wearing a skort:)  Just like Mama!  The last time I tried it on her (it's a size 3T it just slid off...this time it stayed up:)   She will always be thin, dainty, she has the body of a dancer but I loved to see that soon she will be outgrown this!


When we got home tonight I went through our mail for the week and we did not receive our stickers for our car tags!  We will have to stay over till Monday and go to the Tag Agency and get them ourselves.  It must have gotten lost in the mail.  I'm sure I mailed it in back in December or early January at the latest but....who knows....  I'm afraid if we dont' get them then our car will get a "boot" on it and not be drivable.  I've heard that the traffic cops in Jax are really tough!   The nurses were all telling me stories and so did one of my friends!  That would be the last thing we need!

Again thank you all for your thoughts and prayers for our family!  We appreciate you all!


36 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry about that incident at Denny's. So sad that the mom didn't have a little chat with her rude children. I've had a couple of incidents where my kids have asked me about somebody that has an obvious difference. My daughter has the most compassionate heart. She asks questions out of curiosity, thankfully, and it gives me joy to teach her such life lessons. She has actually had her share of rudeness because she limps due to her Cerebral Palsy. I would be horrified and would want to crawl in a hole and die if either of my children acted so rudely as those kids in Denny's.
    BTW, I emailed you about your ticket situation. I had emailed my husband's friend about it and his wife responded right away that he is camping in the woods this weekend with the boys from youth group. She said that she would definitely forward the email to him when he gets home. Fingers crossed that he can help you get this taken care of.

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    1. I've taught the boys to ask me questions later if they saw someone and they had a question. Chidren are cusious and things can be a new expirence but these kids were older and so disrespectful acting (although they did look a little afraid of me hehehe)

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    2. Those kids should have been afraid. And hopefully, it was a hard lesson learned for them. I don't mind people asking me questions about my children but to be rude, I just won't tolerate it. Just the other day, a kind lady asked if my son had hearing loss. He's 5 and didn't speak in sentences until about a year due to severe verbal apraxia. I want people to know that just because my son has a severe speech disorder, it doesn't mean that he's not smart. It turns out that this lady has a daughter who is profoundly deaf. I shared with her that we just recently found out that my daughter (who has CP) will need hearing aids in BOTH ears. I think this was divine because this kind lady, who is a member of the Lion's Club, is going to be sending me paperwork to see if we can get financial help to pay for the hearing aids since we have no coverage for them. They cost a few thousand dollars.
      I hope you don't encounter such rude kids again. I feel blessed when I see other families with special need kids out in public. It thrills me to see that they are enjoying a day out just like any other family. They deserve that, too. My daughter has such a tender heart and it makes me proud when she expresses such concern for other people who also have differences. She wants to be a doctor and I know she will be an awesome one.








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    3. I've met nice folks who were curious but so sweet....

      the Lions Club ROCKS!!!!!!!!! They are who provided Sam's orginal corneal transplants and Sam was chosen as their person of the year 2004 :)

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  2. I think you reacted in a completely understandable way, and I hope that it was a teacheable moment for those children. I experience 'looks' from time to time, and it's still awkward as a 22-year-old woman...the reason being that because I look SO young, they find it odd that I get paid, buy groceries, go to university...

    I've gotten 'used' to it, but do you ever really get used to it? No. Your children are beautiful gifts from God and you are well within your rights to protect them from incidents like that. If I were to witness what went on, I would be just as steamed for you!

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    1. thank you and I like your sign in name:)

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  3. I would have been very upset also. It is one thing for a child to come up and smile and say "hi" but quite another for them to stare and be rude. My daughter is 15 now. She has a profound hearing loss, and started special education preschool when she was three. She loves to interact with children with disabilities. I am so glad that she learned so much acceptance at such an early age. All children should be taught that God created all of us just the way he wanted us.

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  4. Good for you for sticking up for your family! I can't even comprehend the lack of parenting that other family displayed. Handicap or not when is it ever okay to walk up to another family and stare at them?! Ugh. Excited for you all to get home and start working on family living again. May this transition be tons better than the first :D praying for Selah

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  5. Good for you for sticking up for your family! I can't even comprehend the lack of parenting that other family displayed. Handicap or not when is it ever okay to walk up to another family and stare at them?! Ugh. Excited for you all to get home and start working on family living again. May this transition be tons better than the first :D praying for Selah

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  6. Thank you for sharing the rant! My son was never treated rudely by children, but I had more than a few adults who needed to be told off...and I did so with equal vigor! I used to call these people "the nosy broads," and I couldn't believe some of the things they said. Not one of them escaped unscathed...and the more I embarrassed them, the happier it made me. (Not some of my finest moments...but if I had my life to live over, I wouldn't change one word.
    Lots of love and prayers for all.

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  7. I hope the thoughtless behavior of the children and the adults with them (were they even their parents?) is still not too common. Thankfully, I know of many, many parents who still train their children to be kind and well-mannered. I beam with proud when I hear strangers compliment my 7 grandchildren for their good behavior in public.
    I am so thrilled that Selah is doing so well and may the Lord be praised for all He is doing. Will continue to pray for even greater improvement after she is back in her own home and with her parents and siblings on a regular basis.

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  8. I would say that the child learned the bad behavior from the mother. The child never would have done that if they had already been taught how to behave appropriately.

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  9. There are times I will see a family and for whatever reason, I think they are a lovely family--so yes I will smile and sometimes even wave with itty bitty kids. I love kids of all types! But stare? Allow my kids to be rude? NO WAY!

    I have always encouraged my kids to ask me questions--QUIETLY and usually "after the fact" about someone they see.

    Now that I'm using a wheelchair, it's almost the opposite--people won't meet my eyes and I hate that. I love engaging with people, even if it's just a smile. I think our lives are richer for the people we meet every day.

    My kids will *definitely* be polite and nothing less than caring when we get to meet!

    Good for you for standing up for your kids--yeah it's NOT your job to educate THEM!

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    1. thanks:) I don't mind honest sweet questions from other children

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  10. As a mom of a disabled child, I know how uncomfortable it is to have your child stared at or worse - laughed at. And I agree, it's not your "job" to teach these children manners. Their parents are doing a poor job! But it is our "job" to always show people Christ with our words and deeds.

    I've been following your blog for quite some time now, praying for Selah and your family. I can't imagine what you have been through. You have advocated for your child like few I've witnessed before.

    But think of how that moment could have played out if your reaction had been one of kindness or gentleness. Please know I'm not condoning the rudeness of those children or their parents, but your stated reaction wasn't much different.

    I would never say these things to hurt you or cause you any anger. It's just one mom of a special needs kiddo to another. Our kids ARE different and God has trusted us enough to help the world see them as the wonderful and beautiful gifts they are. It's an honor to have the "job" of teaching them.

    I wait daily to hear how Selah is doing and will continue. Many prayers - Michelle

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    1. I'm not much of a kind or gentle person with folks who are nasty and rude. I think Christ showed his anger in the temple and I'm not comparing myself to Christ but there is a place for a strong word and I believe yesterday was that place. In the past i've been a bit more accomendating to others but that was more becuase I was a litle embarressed to stand up to them and was not used to the negative attention my child received. And I wasn't used to having to stand up for my child... That period of time lasted about 6 months.... With three very disable children and one who has an eye impairment that is noticeable also, I get MORE than my share of opprunities to deal with idiots....

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    2. Thank you for following our story and praying.

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    3. I think there's a big difference between a curious child--and a teachable moment--and a child who is RUDE to sweet child! I don't think you were wrong in your reaction.

      When my son got glasses as an infant (8mos old) I was afraid what reactions might be (I know, such a small thing now!). Thankfully people told me how cute he was, and I was able to educate alot of people how a baby is diagnosed with vision problems.

      But one lady--UGH! She kept saying "oh poor baby, poor baby" and I bit my tongue but I was MAD! And I finally said something to her and she went away but I was still steamed. God gave us that "mama bear" reaction for a reason ;)

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  11. I don't understand the mother's reaction at all, I would have not allowed my children to act in such a way. One thing you might want to consider though is that it's possible that some or even all of those children had special needs that weren't visible. As a student SLP who works with middle schoolers with language disorders I've been struck by how many people in our society have developmental delays that aren't all that obvious. I was recently cut in front of at a salad bar and was quite unhappy, although I quickly realized that the person who did so had a cognitive delay. I still didn't think that her sister who was with her should have allowed that, she needed to try to teach her how to act, but luckily I zipped my lip as I would have been quite unhappy with myself had I not. I was still annoyed though as they were really slow!

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    1. Pretty sure they did not, and the mother was grinning.... If one of my kids had done something inapproiate I would have apologized and explained... (like the time Sam grabbed someone's bottom in an elevator-he was just reaching for my hand or leg to hang on to lol) I think with Mommie Dearest amusewd like she was they did not have an issue

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  12. I can't stand for children to stop and stare at my girls either, but Could these children have possibly had a disability too? Autism maybe? Sometimes it is hard to tell.

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    1. Pretty sure they did not...just mean kids and laughing adult...

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    2. It's possible that the mom has issues as well. I've just decided to give most people the benefit of the doubt. Not that I'd have tolerated what they were doing, I would have told them to stop as well and sent them back to their table. I've been pretty surprised at how typical many kids seem who are not really typical at all.

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    3. To me, it says something when the mother of those children didn't even attempt to apologize for her kids' behavior. If I had a child with autism and they acted so rudely, I would be sure to have my child (and myself) apologize. Most children with autism, though, won't even act in such a manner. At least, I haven't seen that in any of the autistic children that I've taught. (I'm a substitute teacher right now).

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    4. But even *IF* that child had issues, there is STILL not excuse for the parent to sit back and ignore the child!

      We went to a movie and there was a woman with a child who had some kind of disability. However, he kept standing up in the seat in front of my son, was loud, kept talking to my son and at no time did the woman ever try to correct the child.

      I finally had to say, excuse me, could you please have your son sit down? He's distracting my son/blocking my son's view. The theatre was packed and moving wasn't an option. She made some half-hearted attempts to get him to sit, then went back to ignoring him. I might have said something--very gently--like "sit down please".

      She grabbed her child, snarled at me about being more understanding, and left. I felt horrible because I would never want to hurt another parent's feelings or a child's (the child seemed rather oblivious to everything).

      I do believe that everyone has rights but not at the expense of others. I would go to the symphony with my son when he was an infant/toddler/preschooler (his dad played) and we sat in the very back so if he was remotely antsy or fussy, we could slip out quickly.

      Anyway....ugh I would have had to say something to that laughing adult too! Sick.

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    5. I get comments all the time about how well behaved my chilren are including my Handicapped kids.... we work with them because they are little now and can learn a little and one day they will be big and we want them to understand how to obey to the best of their ablilty

      And I agree I am careful with my kids so they don't disrupt things like movies or in a restuarant....

      I wouldn't allow Sam or Sarah to get up in another child's face whether the child was handicapped or not,that is just rude!
      thanks

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  13. Good for you! I absolutely agree that you handled it well and provided a teaching opportunity. Some people are so ignorant.

    Nikki

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  14. So sorry about your experience. I have had similar experiences with children who don't seem to know better getting right up in my daughter's face and even touching her (even as I'm telling them not to) while ignorant parents stand by and smirk. She has facial paralysis and droopy eyelids, so I know she looks a bit differently, and I understand their curiosity. I don't mind questions at all, but she also has sensory issues and does not like to be touched by others (especially kids). It's really frustrating to have to tell someone else's child numerous times to give your kid some space and not touch her without any back-up from the parents...obnoxious, really! I don't understand it at all.

    On a higher note, I'm glad that Selah is doing so well, and that you guys will be headed home as a family! I've been praying for you for since the accident.

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  15. So sorry about your experience with Sarah today. I have had similar experiences with my daughter. She has facial paralysis and droopy eyelids, so I know she looks a bit different, but so many times kids come up, get in her face, touch her, and even try to take her book/toy (as I'm telling them not to) while their ignorant parents stand by and smirk. I am not easily offended, and I have no problem with questions, but Zoe has sensory issues. She really needs space, and she hates being touched (especially by kids), so it's really frustrating that people let their kids come up and upset her. I really hate having to keep other peoples' kids in line when we go out. I would be mortified if my kids behaved that way!

    On a higher note, I'm glad that Selah is doing so well, and that you guys are heading home as a family! I've been praying for you guys since the accident.

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    1. thanks My kids also don't like peopel in their space and being blind it is hard for them.

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