Thursday, January 31, 2013

Day 88 Fish Oil Study Home is nice!

Selah had a good night but her heart rate was a bit up around 6:30 am so I got up and held her for awhile a couple of hours but it was good:)  We got a good night sleep last night.  We had the nurse who will do most nights and he was nice.  I have to be honest I find having a man in our home a bit more awkward than a female nurse for several reasons but he was kind and professional.  I come from a law enforcement background and I can't forget the things I know, but we have a camera and honestly I do trust my instincts and we both felt good about him. 

Today we had a great nurse who will also work with us on a regular basis and she also was WONDERFUL!  We gave Selah a bath and then she sat on the floor and did a pedicure.  Selah had some old hard dry skin on her feet but not anymore!  I took her outside for a while in her wheelchair and had to fight the tears, thinking of her walking around the yard before (even tho she wasn't a very good walker)   I sat with her on our little patio and thought of last summer when we had the little kiddie pool and I'd sit outside with them and let them play in it.  It hurt....

We moved around her room some last night and today Steve hung up her picture and butterfly.  This picture is what we see down the hallway...

I have to tell you all that Steve and Shad have been so helpful these past few days.  Without their help Jon couldn't have left me to go back to work.  Even with the nurse, everything is time consuming right now as we get everything in order.  I really am appreciative of the boys and all they do.  Shad is so sweet, he will go by Selah's room and just go in and talk to her.  I tear up sometimes listening to him. 

Steve is waiting on his curriculum and we need to go pick up Shad's books, maybe tomorrow....then school starts:)  The kids played outside today which means Steve and Shad pushed the little ones on the swings for about an hour:) 

Tonight my friend Jan brought us supper ( actually she brought us several days worth of suppers!) and it is cooking.  It's good to start seeing our friends!

I wanted to say thank you to a friend BJ, who took a hospital gown and used it as a pattern and made Selah some of the cutest most unique gowns for night time!  They are adorable on her and all the nurses comment about them. 

So my emotions go from between, sad remembering the past, contentment for the present that we are all home together and some hope for the future....sometimes within a matter of minutes.....  I feel I'm on a roller coaster....  I keep reminding myself "do not be afraid"  I wonder about the days ahead and most of the time I can trust that God will carry us and provide.  Sometimes I feel life is hopeless...again usually within a matter of minutes....Sometimes the responsibilities of my life flood over me like a wave and I think "this is  just crazy!  No one person or family can do this!"   But I'm hanging on to that word that was given to me back in May...  "Something BIG is ahead for your family in the next few months, do NOT be afraid, many will see"   Sometimes I tell God "please don't let "many see" me fall to pieces"  "Let me glorify YOU in all that I do"   So I try not to be afraid.   Talk about learning to lean...do you remember that old chorus?  "Learning to lean, learning to lean, learning to lean on Jesus....."  I sang that song with gusto when the other thing I had to worry about was taking a test or something stupid...LOL  I had NOT a clue about really learning to lean on Jesus...   Learning to trust when life is not the dream you thought it would be, learning to trust when you are afraid and have no idea how you are going to do the next however many years of life you have before you.  Before the accident I had some worries about the little ones' futures if they  outlived us or if one of us got sick...Oh Lord, those were just little tiny worries back then.  Now the full responsibilities is beyond overwhelming BUT I think of the story Corrie Ten Boom told...

Corrie Ten Boom wrote that she had asked her father about having the strength to die for her faith, and she was concerned that she didn't have it... and her father compared it to him giving her her train fare for the train when she needed it and not before...   I know I"ve ripped that story to shreds but I do think of that that He will give....whatever we need when we need it.   So I trust in that kind of faith.  I may not have what I need right now for what is ahead in the future but God will give it to me when I need it....

So I'm living moment by crazy moment...thank you for your prayers...

Please keep praying for Selah's recovery!

6 comments:

  1. So happy you all are home. Praying every day for Selah's recovery.

    janet and gang

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  2. Praying for everyone's adjustment now that you are back home. What wonderful sons you have, what wonderful friends.

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  3. So wonderful to hear you have some nice nurses that will be working with Selah. How sweet about the pedicure. :-)

    And you have to cut yourself some slack. You have been gone SOOO long. It is going to take TIME to adjust to being home w/ your regular responsibilities, let alone Selah's.

    A beautiful story about Corrie Ten Boom. She was an amazing lady. Thanks for sharing. Praying for all of you!

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  4. {{{{{Yvonne}}}}} Sending so much love and so many prayers for Selah and for all of you.
    I'm glad that Selah has the nurses from our prayers!

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  5. So sorry for the problems with nursing, but it is wonderful to see your precious Selah so relaxed at home and even soaking in the sunshine with her Daddy. So sweet. We continue to pray for her to heal!

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