Monday, March 18, 2013

Aniety attack...

Last night after feeling so sad all day, I thought I had sorted through my feelings and had had a good cry.  So I was sitting half skimming a book ( on WWII and the Holocaust- I know not light reading) and half watching the movie "the Bible" and out of no where I am slammed with chest pain and my heart beating so fast and hard.  I didn't want to tell anyone what was going on so I got up and went to my room and took a few aspirin.  I sat there for about 30 minutes trying to be calm but shaking.  ( I tend to shake when I am upset)  Jon came looking for me and I decided to go to the hospital.  After being checked out, the doctor said I'd had a panic attack.  It was NO fun let me tell you.  I've had twinges before in my chest and had had some testing just to find out it was a muscle condition in my ribcage and this seemed to tie in with that also.  So I was given a prescription for an anti anxiety med that is really light and non addictive.  I am not one to take meds and they usually adversely affect me but it seems to have helped some.  I still find it hard to catch a deep breath but I'm trying to relax.  today I took the kids to run errands, it's just good to be out together.

I am somewhat embarrassed by this reaction.  I was offered some meds when this all first happened and I declined them.  But after all these months, it felt good to have the edge taken off.  I am not sure that I will stay on this prescription, right now it is only to be used as needed.  Since I call this blog "My Real Life" I thought I'd be real and share this with you all.  Last night I had the nicest doctor and nurse at Zephyrhills Hospital.  They were kind and understanding.  He was also concerned with my neck and said he could feel tightness half way down my back.   I was treated fast but with enough tests that it relieved my mind, for the most part.  You do know I"m a closet hypochondriac.  I do NOT read anything medical on the web.  I know moms who can rattled off all kinds of medical stuff, no, not me!  I stay as far away as I can or it just totally freaks me out!  I really fight it, mostly by ignoring it LOL...

So after all of that, Selah had a great night with Jon LOL  He got a good night's sleep.  She has had a good day and did great during PT.  Our nurse had her up most of the morning and early afternoon and she is sleeping so nicely and peacefully already.  Two weeks from today the casts will be off:)

Here are some pictures of Sarah walking by pushing a chair in front of her.  She seems to do better with leaning forward and walking although you can see she still puts her feet down oddly.  The PT is puzzled by her.  Sarah has the ability muscle wise to walk it would seem.  She is quite fearLESS so it's not that either.  She wants to and likes movement, she is never still.  But yet she is not walking yet.  I'm glad she is finally in therapy and hopefully she will start walking soon.  I love one thing the PT said "If Sarah had been yours from the beginning she would be walking"  how nice of a compliment  that was to me.  I am very commited to see her achieve that:) 


So please pray for Selah and for me too.  I am so thankful for all the messages and emails I get from so many saying they are praying!  It really means so much to my heart:)


  1. Try to be kind to yourself. The number of adjustments you have made over the last year are staggering to just think about no less experience.....and you have come through them all intact. You have managed to suppress your anxiety because you needed to, but now things seem to be on a more even keel. You are putting down your burdens for a little while, and the anxiety is there waiting. Like you say about treatment for Selah, God gave the doctors the knowledge to accept the help. I continue to pray for Selah and I always pray for you and Jon too.
    Have you considered that Sarah feels more secure because the chair acts as a bumper, letting her know when something is in her way?
    Again, I am praying for you all.

  2. I am surprised that you haven't had lots of anxiety attacks before this!! I, too, took a trip to the ER because I thought I was having a heart attack only to find out it was anxiety. Meds are good! Learning what is going on helps too. Now I'm gonna give advice and I KNOW you hate that but... too bad! :)
    Learning to slowly stretch your muscles really helps and doesn't take a bunch of time. Try to get a massage once a week, from a pro or your husband. Getting those muscles relaxed helps the rest of your relax and you won't produce as much adrenaline which makes the anxiety attacks much less and easier to get through.
    Take care of yourself and the whole family will benefit. I'm keeping all of you in my prayers.

  3. Greetings Yvonne, I have been following your blog since the accident in August. I worked with your brother-in-law, Jim, at The Salvation Army in Lakeland ten years ago. He is "friend" on facebook; so, when he asked for prayer for Selah on his page, my husband and I put your family on our prayer list. This is my first comment. I want to say that as a sister in Christ, you are an inspiration to others. I am writing tonight to let you know that I understand what anxiety attacks feel like. They are not fun! I will not try to pretend that I do understand what you and your family has been through. The Holy Spirit does, and I pray that He continues to minister to you. May I suggest something? I know that you decided to not utilize a night time nurse. I believe that you mentioned that it felt a bit more "comfortable" in your home overnight with just your family members present. I am sure it can be a bit awkward at times to have a nurse in your home. With that said, rest is very important (especially with your responsibility and work load during the day). Perhaps a night nurse would allow you and your husband to get a full night sleep. In the end, you know what is best for you and your family. I pray that Selah is healed. Know that there is a family in Washington DC area praying for you!
    Carol Bannon,
    Arlington, VA

    1. Thanks:) we have asked for one a few nights a week and are hoping that they will find someone suitable. Jim's wife has gotten her LPN, she just needs to do some tests and maybe we will be able to hire her:) I can't think of anyone I'd rather have taking care of my daughter than my SIL. The company said it would not mind us having a relative working for us!!!! That would take off all the stress from us.

      You know we may have met at some point went Jim was working for the "Sally" :) thanks for your prayers

  4. I follow your blog and pray for Selah every day. I only started following the blog after the accident and as a result I am amazed at the progress Selah has made. For a little girl who was supposed to know nothing and be unaware, she recognizes her family, has definate likes and dislikes, and is even starting to do a few things on her own like suck her thumb. I would love to see you guys get a miracle and see Selah return to the way she ways before the accident, but also rejoice in the small miracles that have already happened with her. Even as she is now, she will have a much better quality of life than she ever would have had in an institution, even with her full previous abilities. And even though she doesn't smile, I've noticed in every picture with her and her Daddy, she's smiling with her eyes.

    1. she loves her daddy!!! He was always her favorite, a real daddy's girl and I loved it. I do think and compare and it hurts but one thing is for sure she has constant care, a nurse with her all day and her family....she'll never be alone again.

  5. ((((Hugs)))))) I am relieved you are "ok" (not heart related!) I have chronic panic/anxiety and it definitely helps (mine started when my food allergic child started school). But the attacks themselves are scary! So, glad you got something to help when you need it.

    Sarah is so beautiful and precious--and if anyone can nurture her back to who she can be--it's you. I have no doubt if you'd had her from birth she would be thriving as well as your other kids!

    Praying lots....there's not a day goes by where I don't think of Selah and pray for her.

    1. thank you:) You always have such encouraging words:)

  6. Yvonne - I had anxiety attacks early in my 20s, so when I started having symptoms in my 40s of palpitations and feeling like the top of my head was asleep and facial flushing, I was convinced they were not anxiety attacks. Now I think they may be, they have just changed in character. One thing that has helped a lot, and you're not going to want to hear this, but it's true - going off caffeine. I switched to decaf and I am doing so much better. I think that sometimes it is just too much for us women, plus I think hormonal changes make us more sensitive to caffeine at sometimes versus others. I actually hope this is not your issue since you enjoy your tea and coffee, but you might want to try it for a few days and see. Heck, I figure it's better than having to go off sugar.