Thursday, March 7, 2013

Day 123 Fish Oil Study

Selah had a perfect night and I got to sleep too:)  She has been comfortable most of the day and has tolerated it when the nurse moved her around.  We are so thankful that she is doing as good as she is!  

Today I cleaned out the little kids stuff, as you know with little ones it is a never ending job.  I made myself go through the girls' clothes.  I feel so cheated with Selah, she went from a tiny girl in August wearing size 3 toddler clothes to a big girl wearing size 6/7 clothes.  It's not just that she will never be able to wear the cute little clothes I had for's just every outfit has a memory for me.  I did dress the girls alike sometimes but they are different and Selah liked more girly clothes and would look at herself in my big mirror and pat her clothes....  I can't give any of those special clothes away.  I hadn't been able to do the closet cleaning until today.  Tomorrow I'm meeting with a lady who has a ministry to foster care kids and adoptive families.  They are giving us a nice wheelchair to use and I am giving them a bunch of things.  BOB strollers sent us a brand new double BOB and a new single one too so I'm giving away my original BOB.  So I wanted to donate alot of clothes as the girls grew so much while we were away.  Sarah grew too but it's not as hard going through her things.  I guess because everything with Selah is so poignant.  I was very sad going through things....  I'm not one to be really sentimental over "things" especially clothes but I just held some of them in my arms today and fought back tears.....

This afternoon I finally took Sam to buy a new pair of shoes and Shad ended up with one too even though that wasn't planned.  LOL  Shad has a way....   I bought Selah a few more big girl outfits that she can wear while she has casts on.  She is going to be so cute in them.   I have to look towards the future and focus on NOW or it hurts too much.

Here is Sarah after her bath and blow dry tonight:)  I finally got her pig tails up good:)

She usually smiles but she was very serious.  She how she is holding her hands, Jon taught her to do that:)  She is SUCH a daddy's girl.  He was holding her the other night ( as usual) and she wouldn't let me pick her up!  She clenched her fists to her side and made a squawk:)  It was cute. 

And in other news, Sam has a Loose tooth!!!  Part of Sam's anomaly is that he physically matures so very very slow.  Even slower than most kids do with Peter's Anomaly.  He just turned 9 years old and has never had a loose tooth.  He didn't get a tooth until he was almost 2 years old and he got his bottom 2 teeth.  His dentist was amazed and still is....we saw him last summer and Sam got xrays and the dentist said that Sam's mouth looked like one of a 4 year old.  It is very odd and interesting.  We assume that everything will be much later, puberty too thank God.  Sam is being studied to see if he has something unique that actually "slows down" his physical development.  Like he has been drinking from the Fountain of Youth:) 
It's the tooth that is back a little in his mouth

Life seems so unreal to me.  We are dealing with so much every single day and yet life still goes on.  We try to make our life as normal as possible for our other 4 kids.  Sure things are very different but we try to balance things.  Selah has a nurse and her own separate room now but the kids all drift in and out and have gotten to know and like our nurses.  We've just incorporated things into our lives without making too big of a deal about stuff. 
I can remember when I was a young girl about 12 years old and my uncle was dying.  Everything was done so mysterious and secretive.  My whole life was turned upside down but no one even thought to think of how things were affecting me.  Me?  I just shook...that's how I handle stress is I start shaking from the inside out.  Obviously our case is different but we try to make things seem NORMAL for the kids.  I really don't think they've been affected in a bad way through all of this.  Between God's grace and the love of so many towards them and our attempts to stay calm with them even at the worst of times, they've done well, thank God.   Sometimes I don't want to do "regular" family things like go see a movie or go out to eat but I have to remember it is their lives too and they have to have the same stability as they did before.  If it were up to me, most days I'd just sit and hold Selah or sit by her bed and watch her numbers....but that's not the best for everyone else and Selah might get a bit tired of me too.  It's a balancing act, this is our NEW normal and it's not going to change outside a mighty miracle.  But I still have 4 more kids who need attention and care and normalcy. 
I have to brag on all of them, they have handled everything with grace!  Steve and Shad have been just wonderful through it all.  I can't say enough good about them.  I appreciate the two of them, both are mature far beyond their years when it comes to handling crises.  And even Sarah and Sam have done remarkably!  Sarah having just been adopted herself and dealing with all the change, just learned to go with the flow and still attached to us beautifully despite living in a Ronald McDonald House for 4 months and Jon and I being back and to to the hospital.  She is an amazing little girl!  She likes everyone but she LOVEs me and Jon.  I don't know how much she understands but there is no doubt she knows we are mommy and daddy.  Sam has matured so much.  He went from being "the pet of the family" and the baby to living in another  country for 6 weeks and handling all the travel with aplomb!  Then he did great with the girls and enjoyed them from the get go!  Then he dealt with his being in the accident with Selah and recovered without any emotional issues.  He also handled staying at the RMH and all the back and to very well.  Everyone tells me how he has matured during all of this.  He is very delayed but it seems like he has just really made some efforts.  He has more patience if we don't do "hop to his demands" (usually about food LOL)  He will even sit in a restaurant and not get upset waiting for his food.  That is really big maturity for him. 
Please keep praying for Selah to heal physically and mentally....I'm really missing my little Selah tonight since I can't really even hold her much right now.  Pray that she stays comfortable and that this time will just pass as quickly as possible and soon she'll be out of her casts. 

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