Monday, November 11, 2013

Being Real

http://www.convoyofhope.org/    You can help! Text the word "CONVOY" to 50555 to make a $10 donation to Convoy of Hope and their relief efforts in the Philippines   Convoy of Hope is the Assemblies of God (our denomination) response to national disasters.  They are quite wonderful and are in place throughout the US and the world in order to reach out when disasters strike.  If you feel moved to give to the Philippines Disaster, I can assure you that the money given goes to the relief fund.   Our prayers are with the people of the Philippines! 

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You know if I could write blogs in the middle of the night from my bed, you'd have some interesting things to read!  I can compose great, interesting articles that would just rock your world....but I can't remember them when I wake up!  Ha ha!  Last night I was hoping a chunk of the falling satellite was not going to fall on us.  Having things falling out of the sky is very scary to me!  

Today has been a quiet day, HBOT for Selah.  PT for Selah and Sarah and OT for Sam and Sarah.....

We had a 3 hour look for one set of our keys, I found them in Shad's backpack (they had fallen down from the hook)  The SAME backpack that I asked if it had been looked in....only a few minutes into the hunt!

I got some paperwork sorted and filed, some with sticky on them "to do" tomorrow. 

Last night we watched "Killing Kennedy" it was a good movie, a few cuss words but hey we are talking about the Kennedy's.  It's sort of fascinating to us since Jon was born just days after JFK's assassination.  I find history from the early 1900's- the 80's interesting.  I really like World War II history and also the Cuban Missile Crises is very interesting to me.   My aunt would tell me stories having lived through all of that.  She was violently anti-Catholic and hated Kennedy although she was a Democrat LOL.  That must have been hard for her!

So after we watched KK, there wasn't much on and we watched a particular minister on TV.  This guy used to be a "big name" preacher but now he is such a "has been"  We watched as a grandson "preached".  It was very theatrical and very "us-them" with THEM" being everyone else in the world, particularly the church world.....  so sad to see such a failure.  I watch the crazy snake handlers out of curiosity.   I watched this dude the same way.  Oh they had some truth mixed in with the craziness....but just a little truth.

One thing I don't understand is HOW people get sucked into supporting and being a part of something so screwy?  When I was in my early 20's I went with a good guy friend to see this same preacher at the USF Sundome.  We were very excited to hear him in person....Until he started speaking.  Then something inside of me just rose up and I knew something was "OFF" with this guy.  Here I was 20 or 21 years old, and I knew something was not right.  Come to find out, he had a few hookers on the side along with all kinds of other things......   Now I didn't hear him preach anything wrong that night, but something inside of me just knew the guy wasn't right.  At the time, I felt a bit guilty for feeling that way.  Even when he fell and made national headlines, I could not believe it was true....but it was!

 A few years later Jon and I happened to be in the same town, for a funeral.  We had some time so we went over to the "ministry headquarters" out of sheer curiosity....  There was a security guard and he invited us into their mid week service.  OH MY GOSH...during the service, I literally felt the hair on the back of my night rise up!   It was so creepy.  I was glad to get the heck out of there as soon as it was over. 

Last night as the camera panned the small audience, there were folks who were very touched, I'm sure some of them were very genuine.   But what I don't understand is WHY people who probably pray and read their bibles, don't have any discernment?   I sensed something was off over 25 years ago....it don't seem like it is any more "on" now LOL!   Do people just not have discernment?  Do they not have a backbone?  What is it that keeps people in unhealthy spiritual (or any type) of situation?   Do they have no confidence in themselves to go against the flow? 

As you can imagine, I don't have a problem "going against the flow".  But do you know where the hardest place to go against the flow is even for me?  In a church/religious setting.    When I was younger, I would feel something but didn't have the confidence to act on it.  OR if I did act on I got blown down.  I did an internship at a very very very dysfunctional ministry.  When I returned to college that fall, I spoke with my advisor about some of the issues and was told "Touch NOT God's anointed and do His prophets no harm."  I was told not to share anything with anyone that would make that ministry look negative or I would be in trouble.  I was BEYOND shocked at my advisor who I really loved and appreciated.  He had never spoke to anyone like he did to me.  And I had not shared anything with anyone up till that point as I was devastated  by the things I had seen/heard.   Should I go on to mention that that particular minster and ministry  was  dealt with and exposed within 5 years without any participation of myself.  Everything I shared with my advisor was put out in the open and many knew about it.   But it also crushed the ones who had to bring out truth. 

I learned by that experience, boy did I.  One thing I learned is to never ever think anyone is above reproach.  I am all about showing honor to ministers.  My husband is a minister and I wouldn't want someone to say bad things that were untrue about him.  But guess what????    He lives his life in an upright fashion, if someone said something about him, everyone would know that person was telling a lie.  Over the years, he has had folks here and there that didn't like him or some decision he made, but they could never point to him doing anything dishonest or immoral because he lives his life an open book.  Working as a chaplain, he is a chaplain to the WHOLE prison, each faith group, not just Christians.  He does things correctly so no one can say he shows preference to one group over another....oh they could say it but they'd have no proof.  Prisoners can file "grievances" if they feel they have been done wrong in any area of their prison life from their diet to their spiritual care.  Even in that, he keeps it clean, and does what his obligations are for each inmate so he doesn't have issues with that. 

As much as I believe in honoring ministers, I also do not believe in hiding the truth if someone is in sin or if a ministry becomes dysfunctional.  Everyone is human and everyone makes mistakes, everyone sins.....even the best of ministers.  But there comes a point, where things can not be tolerated. 

In this particular case that I was watching on tv, I was just sicken by some of the things that came out of this guy's mouth.  Some of it was biblical truth but it was so warped and delivered in so much anger, I can't imagine anyone wanting to watch it except out of sheer curiosity ( I also have more than my share of that too LOL)  .   

I've tried to be open to ministers.  We had a so called revival in our area a few years ago.  We took Sam as our friends told us that people were being prayed for and healed.  When we got there, there was a great spirit and wonderful worship.  All the people on the platform were dressed very casually so I didn't know who anyone was.  There was really no preaching that night, some folks were prayed for.  I wasn't really sure of the whole thing but the revival kept going on, some people didn't like the preacher because he had tattoos.   I would NEVER have a Tat cuz I hate pain!  But I can understand loving my kids enough to tattoo their names on my shoulder or something so I'm not anti Tats although I think in a few years there are going to be some ugly old folks with sagging tattoos LOL.    Anyway the "revival services" moved from the large church to a Civic Center and we went again.  This time we took a man in our church who had terminal cancer.  He was interested.  That night, there was none of the sweet spirit of worship as we saw on the first night.  In fact, I felt uncomfortable, as did my husband.  We decided not to go back again.  Soon we find out that the minister was involved with someone in his ministry team.  I can't say we were unduly surprised. 

What was surprising is all the support the man got from the charismatic community.  He was not repentant at all.  I'm not saying to kick a man when he is down but hey if you are leaving your wife and several children for a younger woman, it might just be time for you to take a time out from ministry! 

Some people might wonder why I even write about stuff like this on my blog.  Why am I not all "sunshine and roses" and loving Jesus......    I do love Jesus but sometimes there is an elephant in the room that no one addresses.  To me it looks foolish not to be real to a watching world.  I didn't start this blog because of Selah's accident or our adoptions, that is not the focus of my blog.  Nor is that WHO I am.   These are thing I wrestle with and think about.  I take my Christianity very serious whether it involves helping orphans, or preaching true clean doctrine.....  I am about being real in all parts of my life.   I'm not perfect and never have been but I think about things, deeply.

Anyhow that was some of my thoughts last night.....wonder what tonight will bring??



Please keep praying for Selah.  No changes....YET!




2 comments:

  1. Wait...you mean, life's NOT all sunshine and roses??? :) LOL I totally get what you mean! And sometimes it's not until you live through life like you are that you realize it is possible to not necessarily be happy but still have a joy-tinted life. It's not simply something you are 'going through'--it's real life and ofttimes it just goes on and on and on in ways that are harder than anything else you have experienced. Our only hope is in the fortress that Jesus offers...and sometimes we find ourselves being pulled into this fortress with heels dug in, knowing that there is no where else to go.

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  2. I pray for our Selah every day! And I pray for you and your family.
    I don't think a minister or priest should be honored more than any of us. I might respect his knowledge because he has studied and experienced more but thinking he is more than I am? Nope! I too am amazed at the "spiritual" programs I see on TV and I wonder how they stay on the air. Someone is paying the bills but I can't figure out why. Are these ministers just misguided or trying to scam people or false prophets? What do you think?

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