Friday, November 8, 2013

Feeling Low

Last night Selah had a rough night.  She didn't sleep any and her heart rates were up.  Thankfully we had nursing or I'd be falling out today!  We are hoping this is just an anomaly.  Every now and then  she has a funky night and nothing comes out of it.  We are hoping for that!  She has no other symptoms.    When we took her to HBOT, they checked her ears and one ear was a bit red.  I called our pediatrician but since she has no fever and no real symptoms he wasn't too concerned.  I have to take the restlessness with a grain of salt as she has that ever now and then for no apparent reason.    Steve and I went to Dunking Donuts and a couple of cake donuts with chocolate  icing made me feel a little better. 

Then we went by the pharmacy and got all kinds of remedies for the ears.  She seems to have a lot of wax build up too. So we got it all to see if anything would help.  the director seemed to think the wax is so much it might be making her ears uncomfortable when she has a HBOT treatment.  She never makes a face and she will do that if anything hurts or annoys her.
Then it was time for Jon to take her for her afternoon HBOT and the little kids went out to swing. 
Sam LOVES to listen to Steve's phone or Ipod.  He loves all kinds of Christian music but adores RAP!  LOL!   Lecrea is his favorite and  mine too! 


These pictures were taken last night....
Sam was trying to "help" Sarah....right off the horse LOL

Is this adorable or what?  Look at that mischievous smile. 

Don't worry he was redirected to play on his car!  Sarah was the ruling princess. 
Today I just feel so low.  I read a bit about HBOT and all kinds of claims that some families have made.  I want that for Selah.  It just makes me mad and upset not to see any change in her!  I MISS Selah!  I want her back.  I'm thankful for little changes and stableness but I want her back to me.  For whatever reason today is very hard for me.  All I can say is we are putting one foot in front of the other and doing everything humanly possible for her.  There is nothing else we can do , she is too unstable and we have too much sense to take her to Timbuktoo for stem cell injections....   We've done everything that anyone has suggested (within reason of course!) 
But we are still going forward.  If she gets no better, it will not be because we haven't tried everything we could for her.  Yes she is still on fish oil, if you are wondering.  She still smells like the Little Mermaid.  We will do whatever we can to help her.  And we will always take care of her to the best of our ability.  I just want to see some changes!
Today it seems the heavens are brass to me.  I've called out to God so many times, sometimes in my sleep or just awake state to heal Selah.  I've asked Him not to leave her like this, for this NOT to be the end of the story.  This can't be IT!
Please keep praying for Selah. 


  1. Lifting you up in His name, and praying for your baby girl, you, and your family. Praying for some HBOT changes...hang in there, lady

  2. I am praying for you and your family. My momma heart hurts for you because I so get. Our adoptative daughter is currently in a "battle" to not lose herself to mental illness and can not live with us. She was only 9 when she left for treatment. Life is so hard and have been searching for answers .But one thing I know for sure. God loves us and our children and someday we will be healed if not on earth but heaven. Take care. You are an amazing woman!!