Thursday, February 28, 2013

Day 116 Fish Oil Study ~low oxygen stats

Please pray fro Selah her oxygen stats have been up and down all day which is unusual for her.  Her nurse even turned on the oxygen in her humidifier to be on the safe side.  She has no fever, and her secretions are thicker but not really bad.  I am about ready to call the ambulance but our nurse assures us that this is "ok" not great but not terribly dangerous either.  It is just different for Selah. 

As of today, we are not having regular night nursing.  We may have someone work a couple of nights a week but we have decided we want to just be a normal family  at home at night.  There comes a time when privacy is important and just the feel of normalcy.  So of course Selah decides to act up tonight!  I can't believe I don't want 24 hour nursing, but now that I've had no night nurses for 4 nights in a row, I found we like it better without anyone here.  I've learned to do everything for her and it feels good to be the one knowing what is going on and meeting her needs.  I might change my mind after tonight tho!!!!  

So please keep Selah in your prayers and pray that her oxygen levels stay normal all night long!  Thank you!!!!

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Day 115 FOS ~ Great pictures and an answered prayer

Last night I had just finished writing my blog and had just logged off when I went into Selah's room and saw this.....

 
So I moved her a tiny bit and the ONE hand went right back to her mouth!
 

 
Then I totally moved her to see what she would do and the hand went back and she made a sucking sound!!!

 
That is PURPOSEFUL movement!!!!!!!
 
 
Her nurse had also seen her do it earlier:)  She hasn't done it yet again but she did it for over an hour!!!!!!
 
 
Today was a great day and here is Selah working out on tummy time!
 
 
She is rocking her new shirt:)

 
She has grown so much since the accident, from size 3 to a size 6 or 7!  No muscle atrophy with this kid!!!
 
Today was just wonderful for Selah and she is more and more alert every day.  She still needs prayers but being off Valium for almost a week now is the best thing ever!  I'm all about less medicine if it can be done safely!
 
Here is Sarah on her Christmas present !
Going....

Going....

 
Gone!
 
She LOVES this "peanut therapy ball"!  Thanks Bell Shore Baptist!!!  This is her absolute favorite thing to play with/on.  She can see it from a foot away which is shocking but we've tested her and she lunges for it a foot away from her face!  Of course it is BLUE and big:)  She spends hours a day on it!
 
 
Brotherly love (with daddy laying on the floor playing with Sarah in the background)

Awww

Shad carried my books at the library today.  I am reading with my reading material if Selah ends up in the hospital after surgery.  We are hoping for an out patient procedure and will find out on Friday.
 
 
Sam has learned to squat, he thinks it is funny and is trying to learn to jump like a frog:)  This is a boy who didn't walk until he was 3 years old:)

 
I have all these great pictures of the little ones but none of Steve, he has been so busy doing schoolwork.  He is amazing me with his love/attention he is showing to Russian.  He will work on it for hours.  If we ever go back he can be our translator:) 
 
Homeschooling has gone smoothly, I just checked Shad's tests and he made 100's on 4 of them and only missed one question on Math.  They both have applied themselves like I've never seen and it's making it easy for me.  Steve has made a B or above on all 7 of his tests he has already taken !!  I'm really proud of my boys!
 
So please keep praying for Selah!  Pray that she will continue to make the thumb sucking motions.  I never thought I'd want one of my kids to suck their thumb but I do!  Sucking is great, she was doing it in NY but like many other skills she didn't do in while in the "Rehab" hospital.  She was never given a chance to do so.  It made her swallow last night.  The hand movement is BIG and if it continues a major good thing.  I know kids often do something, to never do it again when there is brain damage, Sam certainly has done that but I'm praying that this will continue with Selah:)
 
 

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Day 114 Fish Oil Study ~ Great Day!

What a GREAT day today:)

Our PT was able to come again today and she worked with Selah for an hour!  She put her on her tummy.  The way she did it was to put a Baby Boopy pillow that I had found at a thrift store under her and put her on her knees and elbows.  We used a small exercise ball (the kind that is small and weighted) for Selah to put her forehead on and she did great!  It's really good for her posture and back and everything.  Her knees bent so nice and it didn't seem to bother her.  She just looked so good, I was so excited to see her "working out ' like that. 

The therapist also worked with Sam and Sarah and they thoroughly enjoyed themselves, they were happy, happy, happy! 

Steve and Shad are doing great in homeschooling, I have to admit I was a bit worried but it's gone good.  Shad is flying through things and very serious about his work.  He really wants to get far ahead in his books .  Their curriculum lets them work at their own pace.  Steve is enjoying Russian.  I can't believe it.  He is so into it with his headset on and is mumbling Russian words over in the corner of our living room (the only place the wifi works in the house) 

Shad and I had dentists appointments today.  We've had exceptional dental insurance for years and we take great care of our kids' teeth but I HATE HATE HATE the dentist!   Everyone tells me I have such nice looking teeth....I don't understand why they look as good as they do because I only go to the dentist about once a decade because I have a tooth that needs to be pulled.  Well today I "put on my big girl panties" and had my first teeth cleaning.  Ok sorry if that grosses you out, but I'd never done it before and really had to use some calming breathing techniques to get through it.  I also have some gum loss and had to have antibiotics put in my gums at a few places.  But all in all for as little tooth care as I've had, my teeth were pretty good. 

Let me tell you why I have such a fear of the dentist....when I was a little girl back in Perry, we had only one dentist that I knew of...another one came when I was a teenager but ...by then I was scared!  Dr P was above the Old Emporium (our "everything" store)  and you had to get to his office by walking up the longest, steepest, staircase.  You'd go into a tiny office and sit and wait....then you'd be ushered back by his receptionist, our neighbor who was one of my good friend's mom.  Then you were in THE chair, terrified...I am not sure he even used Novocain or anything to take out teeth or to fill cavities.  It was awful!  It's funny I've reconnected with many childhood friends and we have all shared our TERROR of the dentist TO THIS DAY!   I've blocked out many memories of going there and for some reason it seemed my aunt was quite faithful to take me to the dentist.  Of course we didn't have fluoride or anything in the water.  I remember in school, all of us having to take fluoride in class and swill it around in our mouths and then spit it back in the cups.  Anyway I have such a phobia about dentists but going to our dentist with the kids has helped me.  We've been going there about 2 years before we took our kids to a pediatric dentist but he was too far and his waiting room was always total chaos so we switched to this family dental place, Bright Now Dentist  in Wesley Chapel.  I thought if I was taking the kids there, it would make me go, well it took awhile but I finally did go!   They've done so good with our kids and been so sweet to us that I just began to trust them.    Anyway I have sparkling clean teeth tonight and have conquered my fear (to some degree lol) 

Then Shad and me went to Sam's and bought all the fun frozen stuff.  It was nice to have time just with Shad and we had a blast.  I LOVE going to Sam's, my whole "Doomsday Preppers" personality wants to come through when I am there:) 

Tonight I came home and cooked a meal that I LOVE ~ Spinach Shells  I'd been craving that for months!  It's so good and easy

Box of big shells
frozen box of spinach ( or you can cook down fresh spinach- I do sometimes.  If I am using the          frozen kind I get the straight kind, not the kind that is creamed it's healthier)
bag of mozzarella cheese (i usually buy the fat free kind)
16 oz carton of ricotta cheese  (again usually the fat free if I can find it or reduced fat)
3 eggs ( egg beaters)
oregano  ( i probably use 2 or 3 tablespoons full I love it)
Parmesan cheese ( kraft reduced fat- 3 tables spoons)
pepper (as much as you want)
jar of Basil Pesto
olive oil

cook and drain the shells
combine all the ingredients except for the pesto and olive oil  I use the mixer, it's faster
spoon the mix into the shells
Spoon the pesto over the shells-it's thick so you might want to break it up with olive oil, I actually do about half and half. 
put in a big casserole dish and bake for 30 minutes at 350 degrees

ENJOY!  I did garlic bread and a salad with it ....YUM!!!!!!!!

This actually makes me two casserole dishes so you can freeze one or cook both.  Since Jon and me are the only ones who will really eat this in our house I usually freeze it.  the kids ate turkey sandwiches...silly kids!

Please keep praying for Selah....

The last two days I've woke up with a peace about things.  I'm beginning to enjoy Selah where she is at more than I mourn what she lost.  Thank you all for the prayers for me!   This is quite a journey, one I've never been on and one that is lonely.  Life's responsibilities weight on me heavy at times.  I don't know where things will end up with her recovery.  Someone asked in the comments "how will we know when she wakes up?"  Its really hard to explain.  I ask different doctors and get different answers.  Some say she is out of the coma and in a Persistent vegetative state and some say she is in a Minimally Conscious state (which is better than the PVS)  I don't know where the coma ends and the brain damage begins......  I had an idea of what a coma was before this, now I don't know!

BUT we will know her brain is repairing itself when she begins to do more things and make progress.  She had regressed so much while we were at the Rehab Hospital that I feel she is now just making up for the lost two months!  She is swallowing now throughout the day like she used to in NY, she is more responsive again like she was while in NY and much much calmer and has an easier time dealing with stress. 

I'd LOVE to see more Purposeful movement, eyes that always responded to a threat, much more SWALLOWING and a gag reflux!  Please pray for that for Selah!!!

Monday, February 25, 2013

Day 113 Fish Oil Study

Well Selah woke us up this morning at 5 am with a very dirty diaper and bed!  In 17 years of being a mom, this took the cake:)  LOL  Since I was up, I started on my "to do' list early and got a ton of things done.  The little kids all had Physical Therapy with our at home therapist who will also be here tomorrow.  She was very positive about Selah having the foot/ankle surgery and she feels it will greatly improve Selah's life!  In my gut I felt it was the right thing to do and was glad to hear it confirmed by a professional.

Getting up so early helped me get everyone going and all the kids had a good day.  Shad is flying through his schoolwork and Steve is also doing great.  I did some errands today and again ran into sweet friends who blessed me by telling me how they'd been thinking and praying for us!  I dropped off a load of things at one of my favorite thrift stores "God's Share Program" and the director blessed me with two cute brand new looking shirts for Selah! 

I have some great news!  One of the three children that we had thought abut going back to Ukraine to adopt left his orphanage today with his family!  We are so thrilled for him and for this sweet family!!  So thankful that his life was rescued....  This coming week  a family is going to get one of the girls that we spent alot of time with at the institution.  She wanted a family with all her heart and now she will have one of her very own!  So very thankful!!!   Another family is leaving for a boy and a girl there that we spent some time with interacting.  They will soon be in a family!  And of course soon Sally's family is coming! 

But.... (this tribute by another family)


"Stacey  is dead. Yes, I am not sugar coating it by saying it nicely. She died. Alone. Never having the joy of having a mommy and daddy to hold her and look at her sweet face saying I love you, your life is worth something.

We met Stacey ...when we were adopting Gabe and Levi. She was in Gabe's room. This year she was transferred from the baby orphanage to the mental institution.

The Bible says, "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."

Is this true when we do nothing? Whatever you don't do for the least of these, you've done to me.

Please just keep this in mind when you see me or others asking, begging, for help in raising funds to bring these orphans home.

Stacey had a family coming for her. But it was too late."
 
 
 
This little girl died...with a family coming...that was my fear for our Sarah as she was so little and weak.  I'm so sorry for this little girl and for the family that must be grieving.  
 
This is real stuff, a little bit more important than taking care of an animal, more important than new clothes at the mall or a cruise.....more important that a chandelier in your church's foyer.....

I know many of you pray for Selah daily and thank you so much for that!  Tonight will you pray for the orphans of the world?  Pray that God will raise up familes to open their hearts and home to them.  Thank you!
 
 

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Day 112 Fish Oil Study

Selah did really good this morning at church and seemed interested.  She was moving her head around alot.   We have weaned her off Valium completely:)  We'll only give it if it is needed and she hasn't needed it for 5 full days!  I also forgot to tell you all that I did the gtube change last week by myself.  We are certainly learning more and more how to care for Selah.  With not having a night nurse on the weekend, it's actually ok with me.  I'd rather do everything than to have issues with some new nurse.  When you deal with home health care nurses, the good ones all have stable cases and you might get the less skilled ones until you are established.  Our main day nurse had just had a patient pass away and our main night nurse had had a patient move.  That is how we ended up with them as full time.  Our other two day nurses also had openings.  These other ones they've tried to send are either ones that no other family will have or they have no experience.....  So it is easier to just do things myself at night until we get the right one! 

I'm hearing news reports that we might have snow this week!  SNOW in Florida at the end of February!  OH MY!  If it snows I will take pictures:)  Last time it snowed down here in Florida was in the late 70's early 80's, so much for global warming:)  I'll be bringing in plants I'm sure, glad I didn't plant my square foot gardens yet.

Sarah and Sam
 
 
 
 
Sarah likes to touch Sam
 
 
 

 
Sam does not like Sarah to touch him

the kids leaving church holding hands without anyone telling them, how sweet is this?
 
We had some old friends visit our church today and some new friends:)  That made for a good day.
 
 
 
Our one year anniversary with the girls will be coming up soon and I'm going to post every day what we were doing last year.  When we were in Ukraine I badly neglected my blog but I wrote on FB.  I have many great pictures that I took and dated on my laptop which will help me reconstruct our 6 weeks there.   People said not to post on our blog and thee were some odd things going on but I regret not posting now.  We left on March 30th and came home on May 9th.  It was a wonderful time.
 
When I had each of my boys there is just such a glow around the memories of thie birth and the days that followed.  It was the same with Shad and certainly the same with the girls.  Everything was magical and amazing to us.  The whole process and memories is bathed in a glow for me....I'll check my fb posts to make sure it was glowing as much as I remember LOL.  But it really was an amazing time. 
 
We all fell in love with Ukraine.  I didn't feel like that in China at all.  I didn't feel much connection to anyone there.  I was alone for one thing, then I stayed at 5 star hotels and totally isolated from the Chinese.  I flew from Chengdu to Guagadoz rather than take the train.  Everyone wanted to practice English on me....So basically I was a tourist at Disney world....Ukraine was a whole different ballgame!  We lived as Ukrainians did, took the over night trains from hell, ate whatever we could get at the store and no one cared at all about trying to speak English to us!  It was no Disney World but it was wonderful and we loved every minute of it:)  Even the god awful train ride.  It would put hair on your chest:)  I'm looking forward to blogging about our adventures and putting out photos. 
 
Please keep praying for Selah.  We all want to see some changes in her....she is very peaceful and content but we long to see her alert and responsive.  She is pretty alert most of the day and has a normal sleep rhythm.  We really want to see more responds to us
 
 
Selah last night with just mommy and daddy as her nurses:)  She was rocking the purple and almost asleep when I took this. 
 

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Day 111 Fish Oil Study ~ Gardens of time

Selah is having a good day, very calm and she has her great weekend Catholic monk nurse...he is super good with her and a joy to be around.  He took her out some today as we were all out enjoying the sunshine and cleaning out the septic tank at the same time LOL


 
Actually this picture just looks like they were all contemplating a hole on the ground


Thanks to some men at our church and our wonderful neighbor who lent us his tractor the job of cleaning out the septic tank only took a few hours instead of all day.  We have great neighbors like our friend that lent us the tractor, another neighbor has watched our house when we were gone AND while we are home and brought us the nicest fruit basket!  Another moved our dumpster when it rained with his tractor!  We all ban together out here.   I honestly think everyone had good "clean" fun today.  I enjoy work days at the church, of course I wasn't shoveling out the tank either LOL!  They did send me to Lowe's to get some concrete, well sending me to Lowes is like sending other women to the mall!  I love the smell of it and the garden section is my undoing.  I actually bought some flower plants today.  I usually focus on veggies but I enjoy some flowers too.  I bought two lavender plants that I put in big barrels by our outside swing.  I'm looking forward to them growing and smelling sweet all summer long

And it is basically summer here now. i enjoyed seeing the snow but I am a Florida girl all the way.  I live in shorts and flip flops.   I got a bit sunburned today.  It was around 90 degrees out in the sun but I love it!  The job went so quick and easy for the church and then I got to play in my garden:)   I grew up with us having a huge garden, everyone had gardens.  My aunts and granny worked their gardens well into their 80's and their gardens would put mine to shame.  They also canned everything.  I just wasn't interested in doing any of that back then.  Oh I wish I could go back and learn some gardening tips from them!  I helped by picking the corn or feeding the chickens but I never planted anything.  I did like to shuck the corn, I'd find the "corn worms" and let them crawl all over my hand.  Of course I'd save them which drove everyone crazy but they were such pretty worms! 

I can remember sitting in the backyard under the pecan trees shucking corn with my aunts.  We'd sit out there and talk and they'd tell me stories about growing up in the early part of the 1900's.  I wish I'd written the stories down.  My one great aunt was born in 1899!  She had stories of Indians in rural Florida.  She hated Indians to say the least, still was afraid of them in the 70's LOL  They all grew up in the north west cornor of Dixie County which is just south of Perry Florida where I grew up.  The stories they had of the Great War and World War II, the depression, the great flu epidemic, just amazing stuff.  They lost two brothers in World War I and one in World War II.  Their grandpa was a civil war veteran, on the South's side of course!  They saw such history!  Maybe my renewed love of gardening somehow connects with them.  I can't think of any of them without thinking of their gardens, their house plants or their cooking   It certainly was a simple time. 

We also had a huge grapevine.  My uncle had put it up on steel rods and it was tall enough for an grown up to walk under.  It probably was 800 square feet.   I had a swing under there and spent much of my summer reading and playing under there.  Friends used to come and pick grapes and spend time under it talking.    I can remember hearing ALL kinds of gossip when the grown ups would forget I was there hehehe!  Although I'm sure it was sizzling...I've forgotten it all!

Of course we had a screened in front porch.  In front of it were HUGE azalea plants.  Tall as a man!  So we always had shade on the front porch and the sound of bees.  We'd sit outside at dark and they'd snap peas if it was in season and we'd sing.  My Aunt Ruby loved "Just over in the Glory Land"  I can remember sitting out there on summer nights and singing with her.   Occasionally we sing that in our church as our music minister always includes some of the oldies but goodies and I seldom can get through it without crying.   Good memories!

Well we had an interesting time last night.... a nurse was supposed to come and interview with us at 10 pm for the 2 night shifts that we don't have filled.  She didn't come till 11 pm and then was "using her outside voice" even tho I asked her to be quiet as my kids were all in bed.  She was amazing in the fact that she was so unprofessional... Needless to say I told her she wasn't needed.  She seemed shocked...LOL  I was under the impression she was coming from a nursing job but oh no she told me that she and her husband had gone out and that is what took so long.  We even wondered if she had been drinking.  Nope, don't think that is going to work with us!  I'm so thankful for our main nursing staff, they are incredible!  Each of them is different but they care for Selah and we enjoy them.  We only have 2 night shifts that need to be filled.  At this point I'd rather do it although there is always that fear that something will go wrong.  We had two other people in that position and both made big mistakes in Selah's care.  I figure I can do better than that.  I think we've been luckier than most in the nurses we've gotten that work our regular shifts.  They are the kind of nurses you want taking care of your family!!

Please keep praying for Selah!  I really do thank you for everytime you've thought of her. 



Friday, February 22, 2013

Day 110 Fish Oil Study ~Where have all the cats gone and gold toilets!

How many days will I number for the fish oil study?  I'm giving it 6 months of a daily update and then I'll do it when ever we see changes.

Today the nurse and I took Selah to see our regular pediatrician.  He is a wonderful doctor and has been a great help to me over the years.  Dr W has common sense, which seems to be lacking in the medical field and he has no ego.  Amazing right?  We think the world of him as do many of my friends who go to him also.  It was quite emotional for me.  I just started crying from the moment I signed in up at the front desk.  Everyone is so kind and I know they care and are rooting for us.  I managed to hold myself together after awhile and we got some good things done and decided on.  I've always been thankful for his help with Sam and the other kids but I think this journey will be easier by having him working with us.  She has had a good day, and has remained stable.  Her pre-op is next Friday and then she will have surgery on March 5th.

We rushed home to interview a nurse to take the two open night shifts.  It didn't work out but we have another one coming to meet us tonight. 

Then Jon and I took the other kids out to eat a late lunch.  It's the first time we've been out just us since we've been home.  We go out with folks from our church on Sundays but this was just us.  I had ran into an old friend at the doctor's who had somehow not heard of what had happened to us.  Then all through the day wherever I went I ran into folks who told me they'd been thinking and praying for us.  It really meant alot to hear that!

Steve actually used his gift cards he had gotten for Christmas today!  All I can say is life has been busy!  But he got some good stuff and was a happy boy:)

We've had an unusual problem the last 9 months....  It started right after we came home from Ukraine.  I have taken care of about 20-25 cats that lived at the church.  Most of them I had gotten fixed but occasionally a new one would pop up, usually pregnant of course.  When we moved here 7 years ago, there were about 20 and the number stayed pretty consistent for years.  Some I"d find homes for, some would disappear or get killed on the road, some would get sick or hurt and I'd have to have them put to sleep....but some had been here for a decade or so.   Then they started disappearing sometimes two or three a week.  That just didn't happen!  Cats seldom left here!  Since last June we have "lost" 21 cats and are down to just 6 (we were up to 27)  We have few neighbors and the ones we have are great, they are all wondering what has happened too.  They are all animal lovers and we know they did nothing to hurt them.  We are thinking either a panther or maybe someone let loose a python in the woods/swamp behind our house.   We have NO idea!  Obviously we lived here for years and I know we have bobcats (seen a few) and foxes in the woods.  But we don't hear anything nor do we find any evidence whatsoever!   So of the cats left only one is a really tame one.  He is what we call an original church cat, he was a kitten when we moved here.  So tonight Smokey  left with our day nurse who loves cats!  We hope this will give him a good chance!   I'm down to one dog, our friends kept our inside dog Sweety. And I'm down to 5 stray cats, only one that I can pet.  This is very different for me, the animal rescuer!  But with our life like it is, I don't want to deal with an animal in the house and we certainly don't want any new ones outside, since we've had all these odd disappearances.  When the disappearances first started in June I had the boys sleep on the floor of the little kids' room for a few nights.  I really got it in my mind that it was a python, and all I could think is it would come in our house and try and get one of the little ones! 

So that's our big mystery.....


Tomorrow is going to be a "fun" day....the guys will be digging out the church's old septic tank....We have redone just about everything here at our church.  To be nice, let's just say it was put together with various ideas of what was proper and at various times by various people.....LOL   We have spent the past 7 years WORKING or raising money to redo things.  Our goal was to get it up to code....and we did remodel it which was badly needed.  We knew the septic was going to be an issue.  Thankfully it seems that sand has gotten in the tank and it just needs to be taken out.  It's not nasty or anything thank God!  We will put in a new system but we like to raise the money FIRST so we are going to fix it tomorrow and then work on raising the money and hopefully have it done in the next few months.   Knowing when we came here that there was a lot of physical work to be done on the buildings was daunting as my husband is not a mechanical man nor do we believe in being extravagant in our remodeling as there are so many needs in the world, you won't find a gold toilet here!  One time I was at a conference and another pastor's wife was showing pictures of their remodel of the parsonage (that's the house the pastor lives in )  bathroom.  She said it "only" cost $10,000!!!!   I was looking for some gold toilets and I quite sarcastically said that we'd just finished remodeling the WHOLE parsonage and it only cost about $7,000!!!   I don't have a "poverty mindset" BUT I do think ALOT of pastors need to rethink their priorities!   I think the Catholics have it right when they talk about taking "vows of poverty"   I'm not saying that you can't have a decent house or car but....we should be careful where we spend money especially if it is God's money!!!!!   Somehow on that day we stand before God, I don't know if he will be too impressed abut a chandelier in the church foyer that cost  $20,000!   I think he'd want the money spent to reach people!   I cringe sometimes when I go in churches.....Just being honest!   So this is our next to the last big project....we think we will have to work on the A/C system one day......  Our church was started in the 1940's and many things had not been changed since then!   There are MANY things that you do not learn in Bible school...I could really teach an interesting class or two now LOL

Please keep praying for Selah....I'm really struggling with sadness right now.  During the course of a day, it comes over me like a wave......  The memories are everywhere.....from her little pink car to going somewhere that we last went together to, like the doctor ~ we went there as a family for Sam and Sarah's pre op right before we left for NY.  .  I feel cheated as a mom!  Cheated out of seeing her develop in many ways.  Even cheated from getting to dress her up....she loved her clothes and I loved dressing her cute.  I knew being home would make me feel this so profoundly.  And God does it ever......

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Day 109 FISH OIL STUDY

 
This morning the boys dug out the septic tank (at least to the cover) and I worked on my container garden.  I hung a bunch of strawberry plants up and you can see my green "upside down tomato plants" and the ones on the ground are herbs.  I still have some more to plant but ran out of soil.  Hopefully next week I can do my square foot gardens.  This is my 4th year doing them.  They need to be cleaned out really good because some grass has grown in them.  Then I'll add some more soil and new plants:)  I love to garden!!!  There is just something about the smell of dirt and plants...the sun shining, it just makes me feel alive!
 
Selah had a good day, went outside for awhile with the nurse and has been doing fine.  I love that we have to hold almost all her blood pressure meds now!  She is rarely outside the parameters for needing them!  We also have been holding the Valium as she is so calm.  I LOVE it!  The less medicines the better!  She is really happy to be home and shows it by being calm and at peace.  That means alot to me.
 
I ran into some friends at the store today that I haven't seen since the accident.  Glad to know of the many prayers for Selah and our family! 
 
Things/Life is just really hard for me right now.  To be honest I am quite thankful that I'm so busy, it helps me cope.  I'm not a person who needs alot of down time anyhow.  Right now I"m going from the second I get up till I go to bed and thankfully I have no problem going to sleep!  Jon's the same way, he is so busy.  And it's good for us.
 
I feel like we are at a place where we are just waiting....waiting for something to happen.....we have alot of decisions to make in the future but right now we are just hunkered down and living our lives.  It is so obvious that we are going to have to do something about our home.  We keep hoping that Extreme Home Make Over will drive their bus up some morning....LOL  but if that doesn't happen, we are probably going to look at buying or building a house since this is not our home.  We really will need lifts for Selah and a room and bathroom fit for her.  Right now we are just making do with things. 
 
BUT I keep hoping that a miracle will happen where we won't need any of that stuff!  I'd be just so happy in my little house stuffed with kids!  I was happy before! 
 
I just keep remembering that dream I had right after the accident, I want it to come true so bad! 
 
Sorry I"ve been down but again, but this is my real life.....
 
So glad the book of Psalms is included in the Bible.  David was so up and down and he wrote about it.  I feel the same way often within minutes of it LOL   I do hope in God and God alone....  but I feel such despair at times.
 
Please keep praying for Selah!!!!  THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR PRAYERS!

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Day 108 Fish OIl Study ~ Prayers needed

 
One of my favorite places...the Lowes Garden Center!
 
Got me some plants to put in the garden...lots of work to be done!
 
 
Selah waiting at the orthopedics's office
 
Well today Selah had an appointment with orthopedics.  I'll call him Dr Hottie!  I never really notice guys and think they are cute...but...as soon as we got back in the van me and the nurse were like "WOW! Selah has a cute doctor!!"  LOL
 
Anyhow Dr Hottie is all business and my kind of doctor!  He is ready to move on things with her.  He will be doing surgery in about 2 weeks to release or lengthen her Achilles heel tendon and to cut the plantar fascitis on her foot.  This will enable her feet/ankles to go back in to a normal position.  She will be able to wear shoes and she will be able to put weight on her feet.   I like doctors who will move on things and get it done!  He said since it has only been 6 months, he expects success with her feet/ankles! 
 
Another thing I liked ....I asked him if the surgery would keep her from walking if she "got a sudden miracle either from God or the fish oil"  and he was so sweet and then answered all my questions by saying "if she gets a miracle" then.....this or that would need to be done...depending on what we were talking about.  He said this would put her in the best spot to walk "if she got a miracle"   I appreciate his kindness and how he considered what I has asked.  I had to fight tears a couple of times....  So a cute and nice and ready to work doctor:)
 
 
I drove her today and it was fine.  She did much better than riding in the ambulance and it boosted my confidence. 
 
For some reason these pictures were on my mind today.....
 
Shad, Selah, Sam and Steve holding Sarah

 
We took the kids to HoneyMoon Island this past summer.  What a fun day it was.....    just thinking about it makes me want to cry....
 
I can be carrying on a conversation but in my mind I'm thinking/praying for Selah.  Today I was talking to someone but my thoughts were of that day at the beach.  Is this it...will she ever recover?  Lately I've been dreaming more and more about her.  A few nights ago I dreamed she had taken her gtube line off and was drinking the pedisure.  I keep having dreams that she has recovered.  But is that just my wishful thinking??  I don't know
 
I do not believe that God is a genie in a bottle or that He does all our bidding for many theological reasons that I don't feel like going into but does He not hear my cries?  Will He not deliver?  Will this be our lot in life?  I know He hears my cries, even when I cry out of my deepest hurt, I feel His nearness....
 
I have dreams for our lives, for my life and this was not one of them!  But, I resolved a long time ago that I would serve God wherever He wanted me to serve.  Right now I know I am to serve God by serving my daughter and my other children. 
 
Last year when we were getting near to our departure for Ukraine, I had a momentarily "FREAK OUT"  I knew what my life was with a handicapped, forever toddler child and I was about to triple that responsibility????  OH MY GOSH, there was a period of a few hours I thought I had lost my ever living mind!  I had to "pray through" that feeling and lay it down at Jesus' feet.  You may think I'm just writing a trite christian saying but I really had to lay down my life anew that day!   See I had just gotten things where I had a little free time, my oldest son was old and responsible enough to babysit some and Shad was responsible for a then 8 year old and Sam was so much healthier and physically able and I was bringing in TWO new children who had all kinds of needs! 
 
So I laid it down, all the fears, all of my selfish thoughts and I told God that even if my life/ministry was going to be serving these three little ones the rest of my life, I was going to do it happily for Him.  And I was happy but afraid of the responsibility...
 
Then we got the girls and got home with them and it was truly all joy!  Of course I knew they would always be with us, probably never ever at a point they could live on their own, just like Sam, but it was just wonderful being their mommy!  It was easy going from 3 kids to 5 kids...people remarked on how peaceful our home was and how I could go out with the little ones by myself.  Just all the things I thought were going to be so hard...weren't at all!  We could not believe how easy things were.  I read other FB posts and blogs of other adoptive parents and couldn't even relate to them.  We did not have one issue, I just felt like Supermom:)
 
Then the accident.....
 
So once again today I had to lay it all down, my thoughts, my fears, my selfish thoughts....I have to be ready to serve as a parent and do it all as onto  God.  Do it as a service to God....I don't do it with a grudge or with resentment, I do it as one who knows there is a God who does listen to our prayers. 
 
So I don't know what is going to happen with Selah...but I adore my sweet little brown eyed girl and I am so thankful she is alive and with us!  When I pray I remind God He just needs to send me back my little Selah, with all her differences...that was what made her MY Selah!  We chose her!  We wanted her just the way she was and still want her just the way she is...but I sure miss the sweet little funny things she used to do.  Some of her sounds, I can't remember anymore....some of her cute little ways are slipping fast from my memory....that makes me so sad!
 
Unless you have gone through something like this or lost a child, because this is much like losing a child, you don't know how this feels.  I had dealt with some hard stuff before this but this "takes the cake"  I handle my emotions most of the time but even when I'm going through my day, my heart is crying even if no one can see it.  No one can help me but God.  No friend can do anything or say the magic word...only God can help me.  He is my strength.  You may not understand that or you may think I'm nuts but He is the only thing getting through this life!  Explaining all of that to someone who doesn't know God would be like telling a blind person what the color green is....  I just don't know how to tell you but I will tell you that God will give you peace in the storms of life.  I feel like I'm in a gigantic hurricane that has lasted for months but yet, there is a corner I can safely go and find the peace of God.  Not false peace, not even the promise that things will turn out the way I want them to, but the peace that passes understanding is what guards my heart....it guards my heart and my mind from probably having a real nervous breakdown.  I guess knowing there is something beyond this life of suffering to hold on to keeps me going!
 
So many folks think God has all kinds of promises in the bible about how this present life is going to be made easy BUT that is not true! (I think you were listening to too many tv preachers!  they are the ones with the false promises)  READ THE BIBLE FOR YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    God has many promises about life in heaven and how He will make all things new on that day and how He will wipe away every tear from our eyes, and there will be no more death for the former things will have passed away!!! 
 
But my heart just cries out for Selah to be healed now.  I want to enjoy her and play with her again!   I don't want to wait!  I want to see her smile and hear her giggle.  I want to teach her new things and see her play with her brothers and sister.  I want her to enjoy food (except for rice -she hated rice)   I want her to watch herself in the mirror after I dress her in a pretty outfit!  I want to see her playing in her pink car and on the swing set!  I want to see her sleeping in her bed, not on a hospital bed, oh you have no idea how much I want those things!  ~   Please pray for her.....keep lifting her name up to the Father.....I don't stop, some morning I wake up praying and most nights I pray myself to sleep.  That doesn't mean I"m some spiritual giant, lol not me!  But my heart cries out.....all the time! 
 
So please join me in prayer for Selah. 
 
 
 

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Day 107 Fish Oil Study

 
 
Selah had a good day outside and did lots of work today.  Her nurse did range of motion with her and really worked her!
 

This was a Christmas present from Bell Shoals Baptist Church to me!  I am loving it!  Tonight I made Baked beans, Hot cheese very spicy and turkey meatballs in it!  YUM!  Everyone was very full and happy!  I love this crock pot!

 
 
This is the spider I saved my family from today LOL!  I caught him/her and took him/her out to my garden.  Spiders are great in gardens:)  I did not kill him/her!

 
Good day for Selah which means a good day for me.  I did alot of paperwork for us and the church (finally-after months!)  The kids did good.  Steve worked faithfully on his schoolwork and his Russian!  Today was the first day for him to work on  the Rosetta Stone computer class.  He took it very serious.  Home schools and private schools often use Rosetta Stone for some of their foreign language classes.  He also climbed up in the church attic to learn how to flip the switch on the A/C...do NOT ask WHY it is in the attic of all places.....
 
I did get an email from Selah's doctor in NY and after reviewing the MRI done in Jacksonville, they are just not sure that there has been any change in the brain.  It's hard to compare as the machines are different kinds...:(  I was afraid of that.....  I can't focus much on it right now......
 
Just please keep praying for our sweet Selah!
 
So for my central Florida friends....we have a real issue with the septic tank at the church and possibly at our house also.  Does anyone have a contact that could help us out for a very low price or even for free????  If you have a contact will you contact that person or business and then contact me at theclanton5@aol.com  if they would like to help???  The septic system is very old and not even a tank and we have some issues!!!!!  HELP!!!!!!!  We're just not even sure we can get the lid off without some real muscles! 
 
Another friend is adopting and the adoption is moving so quickly...her is her blog  http://myianna.blogspot.com/2013/02/spring-family-fundraiser.html
 
She has an amazing fund raiser going on with beautiful pictures....You can donate or you can pick one of the pictures or gifts to buy and it all goes for her adoption!!!!!!!

Monday, February 18, 2013

Day 106 FOS~ SALLY HAS A FAMILY!!!!

So much good news today I don't know where to start!





I saw that "Sally" has a family!!!  You can click on this link http://gracehavenhome.com/?p=639
and see the news yourself!  There is a link there so you can give...they call her Patricia...  Her real name is not allowed to be revealed by her country.  I called her Sally in my mind and heart because I LOVE that name and it is a S name and I thought if we were ever able to adopt her maybe my husband would let me call her that (he wasn't too sold on the idea LOL)  

The way this works is the ministry Grace Haven holds the grant for the child until the family is ready to go get her.  Reece's Rainbow works the same way.  If by any chance the family couldn't go, the grant stays with the child in hopes that it will encourage another family to step up since the cost of adoption is what holds many people back. (Even tho it shouldn't!) 

So you know what I'm going to ask...... Please give towards Patrica/Sally's grant!!!!!!!!  If you can't give but a dollar, give that dollar and it will help!  I will be asking for help for this child until she reaches her full grant which I think is $20,000.  She has some on the grant now, not sure exactly how much but we have a ways to go. 

But you see, I've held this little girl, I've looked into her eyes I KNOW she needs a family!  She absolutely captured my heart the minute I saw her.  This child isn't a unknown to me....nor is she unknown to God in heaven above. 

If you want to do something that will absolutely change her life....GIVE....to her ransom....

The last time I saw her I asked the caretakers for her and they went and got her out of bed.  It was the middle of the day and she was very sleepy it made me suspicious to be honest.  All I could do was  to touch her as she laid her head on a care giver's shoulder and I made a promise right then and there in that hallway  to try and help her.  I had hoped we might adopt her but since the accident, that is unrealistic for us.  So I've prayed that someone would come forward and now someone has!  I am so thankful...you really have no idea! 

So please if you can help please do!  If you'd like to do a fund raiser that would be great too!  ANYTHING to help her get home would be wonderful!!!!!!!!

Btw I loved all the comments on my last post!!!!   THANK YOU for understanding what I was sharing and concerned about!   I'd like to respond to each of them but my internet is giving me a run for my money tonight!

Maybe you can repost my blog on FB so others can see Patrica/Sally and hopefully give to her!!!!!!


Today was a great day for Selah!  Our day nurse is so motivated to work with her!  What a blessing she is!  The nurse encouraged me because since Selah's last hospitalization, she again regressed.  But our nurse is setting small goals for her.  Today was working on her holding her head up.  At the point this picture was taken she was about at 20 minutes.  We did put a pillow to give her some support after the first few minutes but she did a fine job on her own!  We even saw her swallow 3x while we were working with her.  I am so thankful for the support of good nurses!   It encouraged me once again to start looking for the "baby steps" that will lead to big milestones!!!   We prayed for good folks to work with and love Selah....thank God we have nurses like that!



 
 
 

 
The whole family at church on Sunday
 
 

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Day 105 Fish Oil Study

Selah went to church this morning and has had a great day.  She is stable and doing fine.  We are so thankful that she hasn't had any new issues.  I took some great pictures but I"m having issues downloading the pictures! 


Last night watching tv I saw a commercial for abused animals.  Now anyone that knows me knows I love animals.  I have personally rescued about 200 ladybugs from my house and our church, I stop for turtles and get them off the road, I drive around snakes....I rescue cats and dogs BUT....BUT....  I also do not put animals above people.  Watching that commerical made me think of the FACT that there are human beings in situations much worse than some of those animals.  OH MY GOD, I have seen orphanages and I know what I'm talking about.  I've heard first hand from others who have seen far worse things than I have seen....  Isn't a human worth more than a dog?   I think of my Shad in an orphanage so cold that I could see my breath when I went to pick him up.  A boy so malnourished that he cried and threw a fit when we'd leave the restaurant in the hotel.  A child that acted like a trip to the grocery store was better than going to Toys R Us any day!  A child that would store food in his cheeks for months after we came home so he wouldn't run out of food!  I think of my Sarah with a flat head from being kept tied down to a bed with 3 leather straps, a child that is just learning to walk at 6 years old...WHY?  Was it because she didn't have therapy or there was something wrong with her?  No there is nothing wrong with her except she wasn't allowed to make her developmental milestones.  So in the 9 months we've had her, she has learned how to stand, holding on to things, and now is starting to let go, she has learned how to crawl!  And this is without her being in therapy at all or me really working with her, just allowing her space to move around and be free and she has figured it all out herself despite being blind and delayed!  She was a child who weighed 23 pounds at 5.5 years old when we got to the American Embassy doctors for her check up, we're sure she'd gained weight with us the few days she was with us.  did she have something "wrong" with her?  No she just plain out wasn't fed enough.  Selah has just learning to walk at 7 years old when we picked her up, she was also malnourished and had zero Vit D in her system.  Selah who played with strings all day long...was she delayed, yes but once we got her home, she begin to play with toys and understand what they were for.  A little girl with teeth so bad that we had to have 8 pulled and 6 filled.....

That's what ought to tug at our heart strings, that is what ought to keep us awake at night...that is what should bring us to tears......

As Christians we should be "shouting from the roof tops" about this!  We should have our churches mobilized to do something....but sadly enough we don't care....  It's so much more fun to go to some new "revival" or hear some great preacher tickle our ears and tell us how we are "the King's Kids" and how we can have a wonderful life with all our wants and desires met....It's so much easier and fun to buy that new CD or go to the coolest new christian concert....  It's much easier to go and rescue a dog from the pound than to adopt a child....  it's much easier not to think about the plight of unknown children and disabled adults....  What do you think would have been Shad's, Sarah or Selah's future had they not been adopted?  Shad would have had it the easiest but in his culture, not having a family would have forced him into menial jobs, no education....  Sarah and Selah would have died in institutions, that's the bottom line. 

Obviously every child in distress can't be adopted and not everyone qualifies to adopt but if you are a believer you can do something whether it is to consistently pray, to give, or to adopt ....

I believe in adoption, I bacially was adopted by a relative and I"m thankful for her, she saved my life, no doubt.  Children in America need to be adopted, I will never say that they do not....but as I"ve said before, we do have a social care system that may not be perfect, it is not like other countries I've been to.  Yes sometimes it fails in America but when it does, generally someone goes to prison...not so in many other countries.   It is no big deal there...things are so different.  I do take into account life is harder and even the workers do not have all they need to get by but it is still hard to believe how bad things can be for children, for "the least of these" 

That commerical last night just turned my stomach, we need to have our priorities straight!

I bet most of you reading spend more on your cats/dogs/animals than you do on orphan ministry.  I do take care of my pets but I also don't go crazy and treat them like they are human.

This is another post that I'll probably not get too many comments on.  I appreciate all the comments I get on Selah and we do feel the love, please don't get me wrong but a year ago she also was an orphan that no one card about....we had just learned of her existence, there was never any picture of her on the internet or anywhere, it's a miracle we heard of her!  Just so you know there are about 147 million more Selah's out there....  So many children are alone tonight... many that  are adoptable...for others and for disabled adults you can get involved in some type of ministry to try and help the ones not adoptable....

Remember one day we will stand before God for how we treated "the least of these"

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Day 104 fish Oil Study! She is awake:)

After sleeping almost 48 hours she finally woke up this afternoon.  She seems really content her vitals are pretty better than mine or yours!  She is still tight especially in her legs but she is getting better. 


I took this picture after her bath in her new bath chair (thanks again Andrea!)  She certainly woke up for that and was not at all happy with us:)  but she is nice and clean and it really was so much easier and quicker!  She feel back asleep but then she finally woke up.  We had her up in her green bean bag chair all afternoon and she did great with head control even being sleepy:)
 
Our boys had a good time at their friends house last night and Shad went to a Valentine Dance at their school.  I want to see some pictures of Shad man "cutting the rug"  I was told he was the celebrity of the dance:)  We met up with them at the mall today and finally finally finally Jon got a new pair of running shoes.  He lost his shoes in the accident (along with his glasses) and we just have not made the time to go and get a pair of good shoes for him till today.  He did get the glasses a few weeks after the accident!  At least we didn't wait that long for the glasses!!! 
 
I was going to really clean our church tonight and then the toilet overflowed all over the ladies bathroom....and it's cold....I'm not a happy camper!  We got out as much water as we can without a shopvac so we'll do the rest tomorrow morning early! 
 
BTW snow flurries are expected tonight in the county right above us!  BRRR!  How's that for some global warming?  LOL  So you can imagine it is pretty cold here.  I'm glad I didn't put in my garden yet.
 
 
Selah has some doctor's appointments coming up and I've decided to drive her myself rather than her being taken by ambulance.  I had thought it was safer than me driving and the nurse sitting with her in the back.  God forbid she had an issue.....but she seems to HATE the ambulances so bad and gets so stressed out.  I'm a bit stressed at driving her myself but it will be better for her.  If you think I'm being a ninny...just think if you were driving your child and she had an issue with her breathing - a real issue since she has a trach and you are stuck in traffic on I-75 at 5 pm....scary stuff but if the ambulance freaks her out so much, I think in the long run it would be better and exposing her to less germs if I just drive her.  This is one of those things you Haw to play by ear I guess. 
 
So keep us in prayer and please always remember to pray that God would heal our Selah. 
 

Friday, February 15, 2013

Day 103 Fish Oil Study ~ 6 months ago....

Today was six months since our nightmare started.  I've lived it and yet it is still unreal to me.  There are days when I wake up not thinking about it and then it hits me in the stomach like a fist.  How could this actually happen to us?  Looking away 4 seconds...4 seconds and our lives are changed forever...how fast something awful can happen!  It's still too much to comprehend.

Selah had PT come in with the wheelchair person and she had a custom ordered wheelchair ordered for her.  It will fit her and be more comfy than the loaner she has now.  This afternoon she had a massage session with the therapist I go to.  She came to our home to do it.  Selah basically has slept through everything!  She was exhausted.  Her stats have been perfect and the nurse just feels she needs to catch up on her sleep.  She is comfortable.  Her upper body is relaxed but her knees and ankles are just awful!  They are so tight.  She really reacts to stress by tightening up.  The PT and the nurse have seen her so relaxed, actually the PT said she got a 45% range of motion on her knees at her evaluation.  Today she had no ROM whatsoever, just like in Jax at the rehab!!   I have to say the sleepiness has worried me but the nurse thinks it is really good for her. 

For the first time since the accident. I'm allowing the boys to spend the night over at one of my BFF's house.  She also has 5 kids and my boys each have a friend there.  She didn't know this was their first time away since the accident so she has promised to sit up tonight with a fire extinguisher and the phone in one hand while her husband mans the guns !  LOLOL!  I've always been a protective mom but since the accident, let's just kindly say that protectiveness went into over drive!!!!!

Several folks have asked about my neck and it is worse than ever, I now get spasms down it.  I've tried massage and it does help but it doesn't last.  I guess I'm going to have to try and go to a doctor next week about it.  I don't even know where to start and NO chiropractors for me!  This morning was the worst ever! 

So today has been a quiet day, Selah sleeping, the boys gone...oh I wish we could go back 6 months and change things....I wish that with all my heart!

Please pray for Selah!!!!!!

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Day 102 Fish Oil Study ~ Happy Valentine's Day

It's 10:30 pm and I'm sitting here waiting for the ambulance to deliver Selah home:)   What a busy day we left the hospital about 6ish "right" before the ambulance was leaving....well.....  it didn't get there until 10 pm!  She is doing great and finally had a diagnosis.  of some sort of something in her poop.  And they do think that she had a cut in her stomach either from all the moving of the gtube or from all the heaving when she threw up.  Anyhow she has responded well and they feel everything is under control.  Whatever she was diagnosed with could have been in her system for a long time.  It was nothing I'd ever heard of before and can't remember what it was.  She will be on antibiotics for a couple of weeks and she has been changed from Xantac to Prevacite.

Finally got Steve and Shad to the dentist!  Steve had to have major work done on his braces and now has bands.  Shad had to have a tooth pulled!  Thankfully it was a baby tooth!

I have lots of thoughts about Valentine's Day...but I'm almost too tired to share them LOL

I'm not a roses and card type of girl.  To me that is such a waste...buy me a few plants for my garden and take me out to eat and I'm happy.  I certainly don't need jewelry or diamonds....that just doesn't appeal to me!  I'd be too worried about losing it or having a kid grab it and break it!  I'd slap someone if they bought me a fur coat....  I guess I'm pretty simple.  Today my husband got up early worked from 8 am to 10 pm to make up the hours he'd used when he stayed in the hospital with Selah Monday and Tues to give me a break....  To me that speaks LOVE.....  No we didn't go out to eat I did have Chinese pick up waiting for him when he got home.  We didnt' get each other cards we haven't had the time to even go to the store these past week.  We'll go out sometime this weekend to eat (maybe-and probably with the kids)  We're not going to have a "romantic night" no we have 2 nurses here and a daughter just being released from the hospital)  But this is real LOVE....not the kind you see in Hollywood or really even the kind you think about as a young person but it is LOVE.

Love is not picture perfect, it is real life, where the "rubber meets the road"  It is commitment when you might feel like running away 

I've learned what LOVE is....it took me a few years but I'm thankful I have a real LOVE in my life and I wish the same for you.  See I watch my husband giving eye drops to Sam or changing Sarah or staying up all night in the ER with Selah and I know that is a committed LOVE.  He ain't with me because of  just from what he gets out of the relationship.  And I know he'll be there for me if I need him.   I thank God for that kind of love in my life. 

I'm not a "hottie" but every now and then when I'm alone (LOL) in public I get hit on....I'm not alone much in public but I've laughed right in guys' faces when they hit on me.  Once I was waiting for our pizza order at a Hungry Howie's a guy asked me "Are you looking for a bad boy?"  After I finished laughing  in his face I told him "no I have THREE of them waiting for me at home"  I also told him that he needed to look at the left hand to see if a woman had a ring on before he asked dumb questions like that at a Hungry Howie's LOL!  I also told him he needed to get right with God and he told me he went to church I said "probably not often enough!"   

My point in telling you this story(besides a good laugh)  is to just let you know that if you are single, don't settle for a cheap pick up line or for someone who just has a relationship with you to meet their needs.  find a good man or woman who has real love to share freely with you with NO games involved!  I've dated game players and I don't know about you but that got old quick!  If you are in a relationship that you can not trust the person or his/her motives.....RUN away as fast you can!    Having lived to be in my late 40's I've learned alot and seen so many people have heartaches that could have been avoided.  I could have avoided some heart aches in my life but I was stupid....

So Happy Valentine's Day to y'all!  I hope and pray that you have or will have a true love who will be with you in thick and thin!  Don't settle for less!

Well since I started this night's blog, Selah arrived very upset but I held her and cuddled with her for awhile and she calmed down.  Sometimes holding her completely is too much for her so I knelt by the bed and cuddled her head and talked to her.  She calmed down immediately!  Her heart rate dropped to the 100's )now in the 80-90's since she is asleep  and her blood pressure went from crazy high 163/89 to a normal 115/72.   She was given her meds during the time I was holding her but they don't work that fast:) 

So on this nice rainy night I'm thankful that all the Clantons (ans a nurse) are under the same roof tonight!

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Day 101 Fish Oil Study ~cute pictures

Well today is officially 101 days since Selah started the Fish Oil Study, I took it to her today since she is back on her her feeds.  I have to say St Joe's have won my heart this time around.  They were amazing about the fish oil study and went out of there way to make sure it was put in the right place ( the fish oil has to be in the freezer)  What a difference from the rehab hospital, who could have cared less about the study!  This time in St Joe's Selah was on the regular floor instead of the new wing and the care has been wonderful.  If one of us is not there, they call us about everything, I really like that!

She had a tiny fever today but if everything goes ok she will be home tomorrow!  She looks great and was relaxed.  Still no answer about what was the problem but I think it goes back to the changing of the gtube...  

 
Here is our girl, she was busy watching the light/water machine they'd brought it.  It is a sensory toy that has a column of water with different light colors on the bottom, it changes colors to classical music, this one happened to have mirrors and it seemed like there were 3 of them.  I LOVE it!  So did Sam and Sarah
 
 
 
Sarah immediately reached out for it when I put her near it
 
 
I LOVE this picture of Sam and the light

 
They both were touching it

 
Sam basically stood there for 2 hours and held it!  He was enthralled....Look at Shad, he and Sam are both 9 yrs old now...he is a head taller than Sam!
 
 
So if any one has a spare one of these send it my way!  My kids love it!!!  I had looked at one in a magazine and it was over $1000...if  Extreme Home Make Over ever comes to my door, they need to have one of these with them!!
 
 
Here are some pictures from yesterday.  The kids at the dentist office watching a movie, I just love this picture of Sarah:)  Sam had Steve's Ipod:)  he is so cool
 
 
Look at my big girl sitting up with a ribbon in her hair!  Big difference from that tiny little weak girl I met 9 months ago!
 
 
So pray for Lala that she is completely well and can come home.  We miss her!  And please continue praying for her healing.  I pray throughout the day that God will heal her mind and bring her back to us.  You have no idea how many times throughout the day I pray that....it's always on my mind no matter what I'm doing.  
 
I want to give a big thank you to Andrea who mailed me her sweet daughter's bath seat!  Her little girl passed away recently but she wanted to bless another family.  I can't wait to get Selah home and give her a bath in it.  I may post a picture:)  With a towel cover up so you can see how much easier it will make things for us!  What a blessing that was to us!