Monday, February 10, 2014

Ten years ago......

Ten years ago...I was having steroid shots in preparation for the very premature birth of my Sam, not knowing what the next day would bring. We didn't know if he'd survive his birth (planned c-section due to no ammonic fluid & little growth on his part) as I hoped & prayed that day that we wouldn't have to go through another loss....I had NO idea of the adventure I was really about to embark thankful I've gotten the chance to be Sam's mama!!!!

I remember many details of the day before Sam's birth.  I went into my office for really the last time to say goodbye and let people know what was going on, at that time I thought I'd be back to work in a couple of months if all went well.  Then I went to the hospital for the 2nd very painful steroid shot.  They showed me around the NICU....NOT the best thing for me.  I saw babies smaller than anything I'd ever seen before.  The nurses had a little bed already prepared for Sam with his name on it.  That totally freaked me out.  I was so scared & upset after seeing the NICU!   (I don't really like to know about reality until it happens LOL)

Got home to our septic system being pumped out....nice. Back then home was a "huge" compared to now, house in suburbia with 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, a screened in patio, fireplace, walk in closets...  I laugh now, what did Jon, Steve and me need all that room for?  We didn't know how lonely we all were!

Jon took me to the mall to buy some PJ's.  Until the day before I'd been on bedrest for months so this was my only time to shop before his birth.  The day before the doctor had decided that Sam was in more danger in than out so it was time for him to be born.  But they gave me the steroid shots two days in a row to help his lungs mature faster. It really worked and he had little problems compared to some preemies. 

My OB doctor was a nice guy, I was actually friends with his daughter so we had a good relationship.  When he informed me that he thought it best to take Sam by C-section at barely 32 weeks, I was in such shock.  During the pregnancy I hadn't really gained weight, seldom felt Sam move, so I really didn't feel like I was pregnant!  It felt WAY TOO soon to be having a baby.  Well I guess I was in such shock that I didn't say anything to him.  He walked out, then walked back in because he later told me he was afraid I was going to faint!  LOL  He said he had never known me to be speechless:)

That night I held Steve close, I was afraid, I'd never had really had a surgery but when they took the twins and that didn't turn out so good for me.  So I didn't know what to expect.  I also held my little tiny baby bump because I didn't know if that might be our last night together. 

Our doctor really took major precautions based on what had happened to me with the twins.  He told me there would be no dying on his shift.  My doctor passed away a few years ago, suddenly from a horrible form of cancer, I hope he was well taken care of during that time because he showed us a lot of concern and care.  He didn't know why Sam was doing so poorly, barely growing, not moving so he did gently talk to me about things.  We had planned for me to have a tubal ligation since I was already having a C-section but he was honest and told me he just didn't know how things were going to go at delivery so he thought we should hold off on doing that in case Sam didn't survive. 
(Now we know that probably a lot of the problem was that Sam had Peter's Anomaly and it has really affected his growth.)

It was an emotional day, ten years ago.  It seems so long ago yet such a short time.  Sam has been nothing but an adventure since before day 1!  but I wouldn't have him any other way!!!


We had a good but very busy weekend.  Everyone is well, Selah has seemed really alert the last two days.  Church was great, our highest attendance yet!  Our teens begin practicing for their Fine Art's performance in a percussion band.  It's exciting to see things come together like it has. 

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