Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Sam has Autism
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Well we got some news today.....
Sam got diagnosed as Autistic...can't say I'm shocked but I am some.... We had taken him for an evaluation when he was about 4 and was told he was "just" visionally impaired and mentally retarded. But this new neuro was with us for like 5 minutes and said "he's been diagnosed autistic right?" When I told him no he was shocked. He said Sam's repetitive movement and self injuring (...he bites both of his pointer fingers till they are calloused) are huge signs Sam also wants things a certain way at a certain time ( me too!) So he gave us a script for Prozac- a light dose, he thinks that will help Sam. We are a bit concerned about giving it to him because of side affects, one being his liver. Sam is missing a tumor inhibitor in his liver so we are so careful when it comes to certain things But we'd love for some of his tension to be relieved......
The doctor was pleased at how emotionally bonded Sam is and how he behaves when told to sit down and quit pulling things down. He said to keep working with him so he doesn't become violent towards us, help him continue to learn boundaries. With Sam it's more about how he stresses about things. If things aren't perfect and in order he gets upset. He has such a need for order (as I do also!)
So I've read about Prozac and I'm ok with him taking it. If there are issues, we'd stop. I like this doctor and feel safe with him. I asked him what he'd do if it were his child and he said he'd use Prozac to help him.
This has just drained me for some reason, it's not like I'm crying, it's something we've suspected for a long time but I feel wasted tonight.
Sam is so dear to me, to Jon....he was a gift from God for our marriage's renewal. We've given everything to help him over the past 10 years, traveled thousands of miles, taken him to the best doctors....slept in hospital rooms for him.... I gave up my career (and retirement LOL) for him.....and I'd do it all again for him in a heartbeat. He's worth more than anything to us. Sometimes reality and confirmation of things we've thought is hard. Sam is the same kid he was last night when I was rubbing his back while watching tv. Nothing has changed but now we know that there are some things he won't grow out of....somethings that we may have to face in the future that might be a bit different than we thought .... sometimes as a parent of a very special needs child (children) you just have to take a breath, put it all back in God's hands and then go on.... I'm at the breathing stage right now......
Thanks for your prayers and concern. I really love connecting with you all, even if we don't agree 100% I have the nicest readers:)