Sunday, July 27, 2014

Being a PW

Being a Pastor's wife (PW) is interesting to say the least.  I've read a few books written from the pastor's point of view about being a pastor and living in the spotlight, but I've never read one from a PW's point of view.  Probably because the PW would be way too honest LOL!

For my readers who go to church, you know there are just days you don't want to get up and get the kids and yourself up and ready...and go.  Well....I can absolutely promise you that there are days when your pastor or PW doesn't want to go either!  I remember back a few years ago our church was going through a "time".  Jon and I would lay in bed and feel like putting the pillows over our heads, pulling down the shades and staying home!  LOL!  But we did not ever do it, we went out and faced our adversaries, dealt with the mess and went about the Father's business. 

Being a PW, is harder in some ways than being a pastor.  People tend to make remarks to the PW about how things should go....usually with me that only happens once or twice:)  People can be mean to your husband or your family and as you know, the Mama Bear in me is quite large so that can get a bit awkward.   And again that usually happens only once with me LOL

As you can tell if you've been reading my blog for long, I'm not a typical PW.  I don't play the piano, really don't sing although I have been drafted a few times, I absolutely hate to pray out loud in front of people, I'm not demonstrative, people as a group just wears me out.  I'm a realistic and worked with criminals for years, I know about things that most people never even want to think about....., crime is interesting to me.   Talk about being different than the typical PW 

We are at a great place in our church right now.  We've been here almost 9 years.  We followed a pastor who had been here 27 years.  Generally the pastor who follows a long term pastor is a short term pastor, meaning per statistics we should have been long gone.  In fact, coming here we committed to 5 years in our mind.  We felt that was fair to the church.  We didn't feel a huge "calling" to come here but it all seem to fall into place.  After we were here about 2.5 years the honeymoon was over, things needed to be dealt with and people realized we were not like the former pastor. 

Dealing with that crazy time really was when we felt the calling to pastor here.  We were told by our denominational leaders that we shouldn't even put up with the problems of this church.  We could leave and they could just close it down and find us another "easier" church.  But we knew that was not what God wanted.  Somehow He gave us the grace to walk through that time, then begin the task of rebuilding the church both in membership and the actual buildings that were in such disrepair.   Now we have a small but actually growing congregation of folks who have loving hearts and a totally renovated church.  Most of them are involved in some type of ministry themselves, prison, motorcycle chaplaincy, nursing homes, music etc....   The ones who aren't involved in something are elderly and they pray for the ones in the church who are involved. 

One great thing about our church is that I feel accepted:)  Being I'm not the typical PW, many people don't know what to do with me and believe me I can not fake it!  I LOVE that the congregation accepts me and my gifts which are more administrative than typical.  I'm the one who dealt with the remodeling of the church/fellowship hall, I handle the issues that come up in regards to the building or bills or whatever... and until recently I cleaned the church.  Now I have a friend and her hubby that does the cleaning and boy do they clean good!  

About a year ago, our church turned a curve....don't' understand it but God just began to bring in families.  Up till that point, we were thrilled if we hit 30 in attendance.  Now we have strong families, strong couples and even with a huge group gone today to Fine Arts, we still hit 30! This is the first year our church has ever participated in our denominations' Fine Arts program.   We have a group of boys who won first place in the state and now are going to Nationals for traditional percussion band.  Next year we will have several more kids old enough to participate and are already thinking of various categories they can compete in. 

We partnered with a Spanish church and they are seeing growth also.  Our missions giving is just skyrocketing and the missionaries we support is growing. 

Anyhow being a PW is interesting.  You see the worse of folks and the best.  You have stories that you can never ever tell but that are just hysterical. 

I don't feel I have to fit into anyone's idea of what a PW should be, 

One time when we were working in a NYC in a church and also in a inner city ministry, a lady we worked with, asked Jon IN FRONT OF ME...why he married me.   Me being the smart butt that I am AND not really liking the lady said "I tricked him" and flounced off!  LOL   In our younger years in ministry people tended to be meaner to me.  I guess I was nicer or just not as confident as I am now.  But now people are generally afraid of me LOL  I'm confident in who I am in God and in relation to my/our calling.  And I tend to have a rather sharp tongue too LOL

We've laughed about that for many years now.  And no I didn't trick him, he has known of me for a long time and had an idea of what I was about. 

I've always said I hope that my kids do not go into ministry unless it is the ONLY thing they can do.  What do I mean by that?  What I mean is unless ministry is in your blood, don't do it.  Unless you know that God has called you to it, do not even attempt it!  It can be a killer.  BUT if there is nothing else you will be happy doing but ministry....GO FOR IT!

Being in ministry is a privilege and a calling.  I wouldn't trade it for anything this world has to offer.  I wish I had given more of my life and heart to it as a younger person.  BUT it has not been exactly what I thought it would be either!

If you are a PW reading this, I just encourage you to be yourself, put your family FIRST and do not ever let anyone put THEIR expectations on YOU! 

So anyhow that is what is on my mind tonight. 


Selah has done fine, no more spitting up!  I'm so thankful!

Hope you have a good week!!!!


  1. I get this...perhaps not entirely, since I am not a PW, but my hubby has been involved in a Christian school ministry here in the northeast. This particular school has acted in a very *non-Christian* way on so many issues, and it is very easy to develop an attitude about it as a spouse of a teacher. You can say anything you want about me, but you start back-stabbing my husband or kids--watch out!! I *can* be nice about it, but I suppose being nice about it might not be as honest a way of dealing with it as should be done. Thankfully, this school eliminated my husband's position this year, so he is 'out of work' for a time. People have no idea how glad this made us! LOL Why is is that many Christian organizations act in the least-Christian manner??? Oh wait....God will forgive them, right???

  2. I typed up a whole post, not sure if it posted or got lost :-(