Sunday, February 22, 2015

I'm Loved

This morning right before church started, something unusual happened.  Sarah started wailing.  In the almost three years she has been home, she has never cried at church.  I've had countless people INCLUDING some of our in- home nurses ask me IF she ever cried at all.  It happens rarely....but this morning she wailed! 

I was a few rows back talking to a friend.  In fact, Sam had just walked up to me to indicate he needed his diaper changed (I had changed both of them just minutes earlier!)  But when Sarah wailed, the whole church got quiet.  I heard a few people mummer that they'd never heard her cry before. I rushed to her and she just clung to me. She cried big old tears for a couple of minutes, then the service started and she just nestled into my shoulder. 

Thankfully my wonderful fantastic friend came up and took Sam out to change him....the whole church appreciated that LOL! 

Sarah clung to me throughout the song service, then I took her out with me. 

One thing I can say is she has NO issue with an attachment disorder:)  She understands I'm her Mama and that she can "request" me and she gets me when she does:)  She'd love it if I could just tie her on me all day long. 

Sarah is showing behaviors that a baby or a young toddler would show and I LOVE it!  I'm so thankful that despite the horrible life she had, she has been able to learn to love.  She's learned that she can depend on grown ups and that she has a mom and dad at her beck and call. 

To feel her clutch me, and curl up on my shoulder, just warmed my heart.  I was a little afraid she'd hurt herself somehow but she hadn't, she just needed me.  And I'm so glad she does because I need her too!

Yesterday she cried for me too.  We'd gone grocery shopping and all the kids stayed in the car playing music. We are back to our wonderful Florida weather....   Anyhow in a few minutes Steve brought Sarah in the store and told me  that she had been crying, well she stopped as soon as she got to me:)  The boys went back to the car to listen to music and she stayed with me. 

Jon said today that she has no attachment disorder....not at all! 

But I remember how hesitant she was with us at first.....that is why I can rejoice in being "needed"  :)
It's precious to us to see how she has changed and blossomed.  In the very beginning she would lay up against me but that changed once she got more nutrition and energy.  Then she wouldn't be still.  I think the only reason she laid on me in the beginning was she was so weak.  But now as she has progressed and learned to accept love, it's so sweet.  I cherish the times she reaches out for me.  When we adopted her, we put NO expectations or dreams on how she or Selah would do.  We knew that they both had major delays along with their physical issues.  We knew they'd never known love or a family.  We just committed to taking care of them and understood they may never "give back" to us.  But boy were we wrong!  Both girls began to respond to us even during the times we visited them in the orphanage and even more so once we were home with them.  Sarah has continued to respond in amazing ways. Can't wait to see what new thing she will do!

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So we are busy getting work done, getting ready to move in the near future.  We've not even driven by the house as everything from this point on is a "surprise " for us.  I'm having withdrawals!  We have some things packed up but it's just too hard to pack up much.  We use everything we got!

I'm trying to get several things done for the church and parsonage as we have someone moving in after we move and we want everything perfect for them.

My husband will remain as the pastor of Grace Church.  Some folks have asked if we'd be resigning ....   FYI most pastors have their own homes nowadays......very few churches have parsonages.  I've enjoyed living here for the most part but now that the end is near, I'm looking forward to the day when we don't!  I do get quite tired of people stopping by and asking for handouts .  They always want money....for gas....to get to the hospital....LOL     And we have one homeless guy that we've spoiled a little now, we have to tell him no more often.  He is always wanting rides (at my busiest times)  and money and anything he could ask for (including my son's sun glasses)    Steve and I were talking  the other day, after his last visit,  how wonderful it will be to live away from the church and it's constant demands.  LOL but for the most part, I've enjoyed it. 

Well hope you all had a great weekend. 

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