Thursday, August 20, 2015

Long post, from college/school update and pictures to the Duggars (again)

Update on Mama.....I was absolutely determined not to call or text Steve after we left him.  I did not want to be THAT mother.  But I was quite happy to hear from him daily about all that was going on, he called and texted me and is having a great time!  We are so happy for him.  It feels good!   So far he has gotten a job there on campus cleaning the science building.  He has made friends and decided to add another class, RAW TV.  He will be working at the tv station too.  His major is Communications/Broadcasting and he's enjoyed every single thing about that aspect of school.  Yesterday I picked him up as he had an early morning dentist appointment today.  It was great to see him, although it was a bit rushed.  I did have to take him back this afternoon before his class and it was much easier than Saturday.  When he was walking off, though I  had this deja vu ..... I can remember walking him to the preschool door and him walking off without ever looking back.  Funny thing, he has the same walk he did as a little boy, so cute.....

a friend sent me this.......

That's the building he'll work at, brand new, just dedicated today.  

BTW I did not know HOW I was going to get up and get all the kids ready for church on Sunday without Steve's help.  (Jon is at the prison to do an early morning service)  Well I got up at 6 am and managed to get us to church 30 minutes early and I rushed around spot cleaning since I hadn't had a chance to clean. I was very proud!  Sunday mornings are not easy with all the little ones.  We also take Selah to church so there is some extra stuff even with having a nurse to do most of it, mostly coordination.  But we did it!
Monday was Shad's first day of 6th grade.   He has his same teacher that he's had for the past two years and she is absolutely awesome!  I was so happy when I learned she was moving up with them.  She has helped him to reach such high achievements.   So as far as school work goes, he is firmly in 7th grade work :)  We are expecting a great year!
The little ones don't start back to home bound school until next week but we were working on Sam feeding himself some this week.  He was good to hold the fork, but he fed himself with his other hand LOL
Sarah LOVES her toy.  She sits on it and goes all over the living room.  It makes her much braver. 

 the kittens love her wheelchair
Sam has a light up bath toy.  It turns 6 different gorgeous colors.  He laid in the tub tonight till he was almost asleep watching the toy turn the room all kinds of colors.  It's like a disco.  There bathroom is so large, it is easy for me to sit on the floor in there and let him play to his heart's content. 

yes he has a funny chest, and yes we've had it examined and no he doesn't need surgery.   It's called something, I can't remember right now but we've had it checked a couple of times over the years because it does become a problem for some kiddos but not for him thankfully!
Well you know I have to talk about the Duggar situation once again.....
This is what I wrote on FB
Well.... I defended Josh Duggar when his juvenile crimes/sins were published. I believe people can repent and change. I know I've had things in my life that I had to repent of & turn away from. I thought as a teen he had done something so stupid but was open with his family & truly repented. Obviously I was wrong.

Personally I've never cared for the Duggars, I don't like patriarchy systems like the Duggars adhered to nor did I like the way the mom related to her kids- as if... she really didn't know them & was ready to pop out some more for the other kids to raise.

I was uncomfortable with their dating system & the fact none of the older kids were encouraged to have their own life & plans.
I don't necessarily blame the parents for Josh's sins- we all stand alone in front of God but I doubt seriously that sexuality was discussed in a normal way in that family
It's a mess. I'm very sorry for his wife Anna & their children. I pray that God will give her the strength & courage to go on with her life.
A friend of mine who had been raised somewhat in a "Duggar style" and I were talking before any of this had happened. She shared with me that often the 2nd generation of these type families seem to run as far from God as they could go once they got a chance. That's so sad. I saw the same thing growing up in a strict Pentecostal home. So the thing I've learned is that my kids have to find God on their own. I can't make them be "little Christians" nor have I ever wanted to do that. While we've home schooled some when we had to, we have always sent them to Christian school but we've also tried never to be legalistic (nor is our school at all).

We are all sinners in need of a Savior. There is probably not one person reading this who has not sinned sexually so before you grab a stone just remember that. On the other hand IF you are a Christian God gives us a standard to live by- live by it or stop calling yourself a Christian.

I don't see this new scandal or any scandal really hurting "the cause of Christ".   I love that the bible is so very open about people's sins, even "pillars of the faith" who sinned like David or Abraham.   We are clearly all sinners in need of a Savior.  But we have a cure for our sin and that is Jesus.

I'm very sorry for people caught up in sin.  I've been caught up in sin before and it is a miserable place to be.  That old saying is so true "SIN will take you further than you ever wanted to go, keep you longer than you ever wanted to stay and cost you more than you ever wanted to pay"   Not just sexual sin, although that seems to be something a lot of folks struggle with.  But any sin...

I pray that Josh gets his life straight and gets to really know God, not just rules.  I hope that his marriage will survive and grow stronger.   And I hope this is a wake up call to people to be real about their walk with God and not just have a list of rules to follow.

One thing that really warmed my heart is a conversation I had with Steve a few weeks ago.  We were talking about Christianity and things that have happened with various folks over the years.  He thanked me again for how we raised him.  Although we certainly had some perimeters like going to Christian school, we didn't demand from him a "Christian life".  Of course we wanted him to have a relationship with God but on HIS own.  We laid it all out for him but didn't force him to respond in a certain way.  Of course we had ground rules of what he could watch or listen to at different ages or where he could go- I think even most atheists would not allow a 7 year old to watch a R rated movie!  But as he got older, we allowed him to make a lot of his own choices.  Sure there have been a couple of things we've talked to him about over the years but we've allowed a lot of choices too.  We've always keep open conversations with him about things and are doing the same for Shad.   Steve has a faith that has weathered storms and disappointments in life.  He may not be on the front row jumping up and down, or running the aisles shouting, but I have no worry about where his heart is.  He has strong convictions about some things and he has stood true.  I'm not saying we were the best parents in the world, I'm quite certain others do a much better job than we do.  I'm pretty sure he has learned some things from me that he should not have  (LOL and I'm not telling what!) and he does have a mile wide streak of sarcasm.... wonder where that came from?  Of course most pastor's kids have seen a lot.....   And that's another thing our children have always and will always come FIRST before anyone else and before the ministry.  After seeing plenty of PK (pastor kids") disasters we swore that we would never ever let that happen.  And we would never ever make our kids feel like they had to follow us into ministry.  I figure ministry is hard one will make it unless God calls them to it!  Frankly, I have no desire at all for my children to go into full time ministry.  Not one tiny shred of desire.  I've never fantasized about one of the boys becoming some well known preacher.....not one bit!     I've never ever thought about it for any of them.  If God calls them we'd support them 100% but it has to be God. 

The only ambition I have for my kids are that they serve God and that they are happy.  If one of the boys was a Catholic monk living on an island and was happy, I'd be fine with it.  If one of them is a multimillionaire like Trump, as long as he was serving God, I'd be happy.  If one of them was a janitor and didn't even own a car, if he were a Christian and happy, I would be too.  "Success" is not important to me at all.   I just want to know that they will make heaven their home and we'll be together for all eternity.  I so do not care about how something looks to someone else.  I'm happy to celebrate my kids' accomplishments but we don't push our kids in any way.  Shad is amazing academically and I will admit to a little bit of pushing him just because he thrives on it.  But it's not who he is.  If he was two grades behind, as long as he was trying his best, I'm good with that.  I've never felt like I've had to "keep up with the Jones'" in any way LOL. 

With my three little ones....we say they have "the golden ticket" as they are like young babies/children and have not reached, nor will they reach "accountability" 

Well that is my thought on all of this......Good night :)  




  1. What is the name of the light up toy that Sam is playing with? We are always looking for light up toys for our VI guy who loves lights! Thanks

    1. I'm sorry I don't know the name. I found it at either Walmart or Toys R Us. It's round and see through and has a button to push on/off. It was cheap, wish I'd bought several of them. He loves it