Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Happy 20th Birthday Steve!

Happy 20th Birthday to Steve!  It does NOT seem possible that two decades have past since the day of his birth. 

On the 25th of October, I went in for a regular stress test.  Since I was high risk I'd been having four a week for the last couple of weeks.  I was so unconcerned that I told Jon to go out with his dad, who was visiting us BEFORE  the baby came-Steve wasn't due for another month.  So Jon and Papa were out in NYC and I was on the subway headed to my appointment at St Luke Roosevelt's.  The subway ride was memorable as a man actually stood up and gave me his seat LOL.  Once I got to the hospital and got hooked up....all hell broke loose.   Evidently the baby's heartbeat was so irregular and at times non existent that they had me up on Labor & Delivery floor before anyone could think straight.  

Of course this was back before cell phones....Jon didn't even have a pager so I had NO way of getting in touch with him, talk about feeling alone in NYC!   When they got me in the room, and handed me the traditional gown, I went to walk into the bathroom to change since there was about 20 people in my room.  One of the nurses yelled at me to "Change NOW" that made me realize how scary things were and I stripped right there in front of God and everyone with the door opened!   They had me sign all the paperwork for an emergency C-section and actually shaved me!  Then I got the nice surprise of an enema!  Yep.....my son better love me!

In an emergency situation, I get quiet and withdrawn.  I don't think I cried even once.  By the time, everything got done, Steve's heart rate was more stable.  So they held off on the C-section. 

Hours later, I got in touch with Jon and he got up to the hospital!  The doctors thought they'd work on inducing my labor slowly while watching Steve.  If things went downhill, we were headed right to the OR.  So Thursday morning they started me on some drugs, nothing really made much of a difference.  I really didn't feel like I was in labor.  That night they turned up the Pitocin (the drug from SATAN himself) and gave me an epidural.  (something I'd been asking for since I got to Labor & Delivery LOL)  I really wasn't in pain but the epidural didn't numb me at all.  I was such an idiot, I mentioned it but since I wasn't in pain no one really paid me no mind.......

THEN came 6 am Friday morning....October 27th.  I woke up in complete agony.   I kept telling them to FIX IT!!!!!   But I was at like less than 1 CM.  By 8 am I was at 8 CM and was pretty sure I was going to die and really did not care as long as the pain stopped!

If you've never had labor induced, you have no idea of what labor is.  The labor pains do NOT stop....not for one second.  Oh they'd peak, but the lowest they'd go was enough to make a person go crazy.  At one point, I pulled Jon up to me and said "I. WILL.NEVER. EVER. DO THIS AGAIN"...    He was agreeing to anything at that point. 

At 10 am I was at 10 cm and they told me to push- I had already started pushing.  Then they told me NOT to push.  I totally ignored them, there was no way to stop my body from pushing.  Steve continued to be a willful child and was is the position of "sunny side up" with his face facing up rather than down so he wasn't going any further. 

NICU was called in since he was a month early and had been having so many problems.  Luckily they were not needed at all. 

Finally after almost two hours of pushing, the doctor delivered him by forceps.  That was beyond awful.....  but it was over!  My words were "Thank God"  Smart aleck doctor said "What about thanking Me?"  He got a glare! 

They had asked if I wanted to see the baby delivered via a mirror- I had declined.  In fact in one of my few moments of clarity I had asked them to clean him up before they gave him to me.  I didn't want him just plopped up all me all dirty.  ( Yes you can tell I was a little bit unsure about all of this!)

Well my second statement was "what is it?"  since just two weeks before we'd been shocked that the little girl we thought we were having was in fact a little boy (that was at the 9th ultrasound)   So in my heart I was hoping the 9th ultrasound tech was wrong.   Everyone was like 'it's a boy" I was so disappointed but then they plopped that little very dirty boy up on me and the star dust fell on me and I was so instantly in love with him. 

I'd never felt a love like I felt at that moment.....of course I've been blessed to experience it four more times now, in an OR, and two different orphanages.....but that moment was amazing, totally beyond words. 

Some people say they forget the pain, I may not be able to explain the pain but I dang sure I've never forgotten the pain.  In fact when the doctor told me that Sam was breech and had to be delivered by C-section I said "Thank God!"  He just started laughing and told me that was the first time he'd had a mom say that!  And by the way, the C-section was the easiest thing in the world!!!  Not only was the delivery a walk in the park (although there were so many worries about Sam), the recovery was amazingly easy for me.  Let's just delicately say Steve's birth was something I have never fully recovered from.  Sam's birth was so unbelievably  easy- I'm still grateful to him !!!!

But despite 8 months of throwing up every day.....I had morning sickness until I was home from the hospital with Steve....and the world's worst delivery..... Steve was the most wonderful baby/toddler/pre-schooler/adolescent and teenager EVER!!!!  We've enjoyed each and every part of the journey with him.  He's the one who started us on this parenthood path.  It's still unbelievable that he is now out of his teen years.  This part of his life as a young adult is thrilling to be a part of, but hard since he is away from us at college.  It does make us treasure every time we are all together.  We can't wait to see what is ahead for him.

Today we dropped by the college and brought him some cupcakes.  Luckily he had left something he needed for a class at home LOL  and no I didn't hide it so I'd have an excuse to go by!   I have worked on any little bit of helicoptering I might feel to do.  I was determined to not call or even text him daily and certainly not drop by too much.  We don't even get his grades or anything from the school, we feel that he can share things with us, but we don't want to be too involved.  We've always had a great relationship with him, it just is his time to make his own decisions and path.  Well it must be like that old saying "if you love something let it go, if it comes back to you it's yours, if it doesn't it never was "  LOL  I actually had that on a t-shirt!!!!!!   Anyhow he calls and texts us and comes home most weekends.  I love it.  He actually thanked me recently for not being like some of the parents who have treated college like it's an extended high school situation.   FOR THE RECORD- I'd prefer to live in an underground bunker with my kids for the rest of my life!  I don't like this growing up stuff LOL!  But I also realize there are meds for that.......

Look at Sarah looking at the camera!  A once in a lifetime moment!!!!!


The funny thing to me, since he is at our Alma Mater, I can remember hanging out in that lobby with friends 30 years ago.....that's just freaky to me (but in a good way) 
Being a parent has been the biggest adventure of my life.  We've had so many scary medical moments with our pregnancies and experienced losses.  We've had such highs and so many lows.....  I can relate to a lot of ladies out there who have had a hard time having a child.   If you are in that position, I encourage you to continue trying, but maybe adoption is a viable option for you too.  It certainly makes you a parent just like birth does (and it's a whole lot less painful LOL) 
Well Happy Birthday to Steve-O you started us down a path we never imagined....but have loved!  


  1. A very happy birthday to Steve.
    I understand how odd it feels to have a "chick leave the nest". My youngest son just moved out and got married, all within 24 hours! I always get/got a lump in my throat when one my children left home, as I always enjoyed them and was never in a hurry for them to leave. (I've noticed that some parents are ready to boot them out the door on their 18th birthday...not my style, as long as they're still following the rules, being respectful, etc.)
    I too, was determined to back away from being the mother hen, but had to laugh when both my son and new daughter-in-law were sending me texts every few hours, just to chat, tell me where they were on the drive to their honeymoon/vacation, etc. Made me happy. So, I look at it as not losing a son, but gaining another sweet daughter. (Steve was in school with them both--Millie and Jacob).
    It's tough to see them out on their own, (my house is a bit too quiet, but I have grand children, so that's okay!) but they know I'm always here for them.
    Proud of Steve in his accomplishments and happy belated birthday wishes. :)

  2. Happy Belated Birthday Steve. I'm keeping notes for Shen my kids start leaving the best. I really enjoy my kids and my secret wish is that they would agree to live with their parents in a commune together with their families. I'm not sure that will fly but a girl can dream.