Friday, June 26, 2015

Marriage

The Bible is what defines Marriage to me.

Genesis 2:24  "Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh." 

And in Mathew 19:4 Jesus shares this verse and truth again. 
And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?  So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

That settles it for me.

I'm going to believe what the Creator of this world and all that is within and not what five people in black robes say. 


Thursday, June 25, 2015

What a change a week makes!

We went almost a week without internet or tv.  Basically I got my news off of my phone from FB.  Of course we heard about the terrible shooting in Charleston and the amazing response by the church and the victims of this horrific tragedy.  God bless them.  They have shown the world how to react to tragedy as Christians.  They've shown forgiveness- I don't know if I could do what they've done.  I pray God is with them every day and that He will continue to give them the strength to go on. 

Then after all that news I start seeing absolutely crazy posts about people going nuts about the Confederate flag.  I didn't know how the shooting and the Confederate flag played in together until a friend told me that the shooter was pictured with the Confederate flag in the background or holding it.  And the news kept coming....soon their were calls to change the name of streets, schools and monuments....even the Dukes of Hazard because they had some relation to the South's past......

My great great grandfather fought in the War on the South's side.  He was no slave owner.  He lived as a small farmer near the banks of the Steinhatchee River in Dixie county.  From what I understand of our family's history, his parents or grand parents were probably indentured servants themselves.  He lived well into my grandmother's and great aunt's life time and talked about the War to them.  From every story I was told ( and believe me they didn't try to tidy up anything) he fought for state's rights.  He had no dream of owning slaves.  I'm not saying that slavery was not a part of the War but it was not the only part at all.

I have no great love for a Confederate flag, don't think we have one.  I don't really care if it flies at a state capital or not.  But I do care about the rewriting  or sanitizing of history

What came to my mind immediately upon hearing all this crazed rabid talk, was that we are living in a country that is becoming like communistic China.  Our history is being rewritten and erased.....that is exactly what happens in other countries.  Are we going to let it happen here?  That worries me. 

So Wal-mart and other companies are no longer selling  Confederate flags or things that have that image on it.  But yet they sell nasty music and other things?  Come on.....this is nuts!

The CF has never represented to me slavery or racism.  I've seen black people wear clothes with CF flag symbols on them.   When I think of the CF (which I don't too often) it just symbolizes the South. 

You know everyone has differences.  Southern folks are different from Northern folks.   I have more in common with a Southern black person than I do with a Northern  white city person.  That's the truth.  I lived up north in NYC for about 5 years, I really know there is a difference.  It's not that one kind of person is better, just different. 

Now I do think about my friends who are black, I don't want to see anyone hurt by anything but I don't really think this was a real issue. 

It amazes me how something gets all blown up in the media!

What the media SHOULD be focusing on is the love and forgiveness that the church and family of the victims are showing. 

A flag did not cause this shooting.  I've seen a picture of the shooter holding a burning  American Flag.  Does that mean that we attack the American Flag next?  I've seen it called for already.....

And don't blame the gun....There are millions of gun owners in America who will never use a gun for a wrong purpose. 

We have several security plans in place for our church.  I'm not going to discuss them here but we are prepared if we ever have to deal with something like this.  It could happen.  We had something happen a few months ago that made us all more cognitive of the need to be prepared. 

Did you know there was ANOTHER church shooting last weekend? A black man killed five people in a black church.  I just caught a snippet of a news piece about it.  Isn't that interesting?  A black on black crime is not widely reported by the media.....

When a Muslim extremist does something we are told that the person(s) are not acting for the whole group.  Yet when something like this happens, the media goes nuts.  And every talking head or politician is busy trying to out do each other. 

Folks we live in crazy times. 


Wednesday, June 24, 2015

New House!!!!!!

We have moved!  We had the House dedication on Wednesday afternoon.  It was roasting hot!  But a beautiful ceremony.  We estimate about 200 people came to the dedication, or came later.  We got to see some friends we haven't seen in years and meet some new friends. 

Thursday we were up early ( 4:30 am I woke up)  We'd packed two of our vans before our friends got there to help.  Then once the whole gang, about 15 people helping) we got the big truck packed and several trailers and we were off!  To be honest, our friends helped keep me focused.  it was a huge job and I found myself jumping from one thing to another.  By Thursday night we had our beds over and spent the night here!  We were not expecting to spend the night till Friday.  We brought Sam and Sarah's twin beds and their cribs but by the time we got ready for bed, we were too tired to put the cribs back together so we put them in their beds....both of them went right to sleep:)   So we are a crib-less family!!  They've both done fine.  Sam will put himself to bed.  He climbs right up in and pulls his blanket up. 

Friday we had help again thankfully!   We moved Selah's room.  Two of our nurses took her out for a while and everything got moved and put back together for her.  She was a little stressed that night but she soon understood that she was ok and not in a hospital and she has done excellent since.  She is actually sleeping better.

Saturday we with the help of the H Family (who had been helping daily) got almost all the boxes unpacked (expect for the books and DVDs) 

Sunday we went to church and did a little work on the house.

Monday one of my best friends came and helped me hang some of our pictures & rearrange some knick knacks.  Her home is very "clean" and that's how I want to do ours.  I've never had too many things up on walls but I could be tempted here to get a little too much things up if I'm not careful. 

Tuesday we settled in more and I got two crock pots going for Sarah.  I made her beef stew and chicken noodle soup.  Then I pureed it all and she now is back in business with "her" baby food brand.  She was tired of the canned soups of the last few days.  I make her own 'baby food" and I make it thick and with a lot of ingredients to try and ensure she gets her full nutrition.  She also drinks some Pedisure shakes that I add fruit too.  Sometimes she can eat our meals if they are kinds that will puree.  It just depends so I like to have plenty on hand for her. 

Today we got our internet & cable up!  HAPPY Day!  We have REAL internet!  NO more satellite!  YEAH!  Now I have no excuse not to blog. 

So it's been a wild few days!  I just really want to thank everyone who helped us move!!  We couldn't have done it without all the help we got.  It was a huge job-the biggest move that we've ever tried but it went smoothly thanks to all the willing helpers we had!

Habitat for Humanity outdid themselves on this house.  Every little thing was thought out for our family.  The house is absolutely wonderful.  Selah's room is amazing and our nurses are so happy.  Their job is so much easier now.  It's been great to see their expression and happiness. 

Sam and Sarah have done much better than I thought they would.  Sam is starting to explore the house some.  He has figured out where the front porch and the swing is for sure.  Last night I asked him if he wanted to go swing and he led the way.  So I sat with him and rocked him while we listened & watched the rain. 

Sarah has adjusted.  The hardest thing for her is that I've been so busy and she wants me to hold her.  We've had a wonderful young lady helping us with the two little ones and that has helped her a lot.  She likes her various toys that roll, she has plenty of room to scoot around. 

So here's some pictures.....


The long road to our house.....

 
I love living off dirt roads.
 
 
HH planted Confederate Jasmine  for me!!!!!!  It's growing like crazy in front.

 
 
 
Front porch swing
 
Patio
 
 
We've not got a lot of chance to enjoy the backyard yet.  It's literally almost 100 degrees daily with high humidity.  Then by the late afternoon the thunderstorms start. 
I LOVE the pines trees so we put the kids playground back there.  The pine smell is my favorite.  There is just something about the smell of pine needles that brings me back to my childhood.  The town I'm from Perry Florida is THE Pine tree capital so I guess I get my love for pines naturally.  The big pines in the backyard is what made me fall in love with this property the first time I saw it. 



 
 






 






 
 
 
The storage room is full
 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 
 
Selah's suite!
this is her bathroom.  the shower is fantastic.  She used to get a shower once a week and a bed bath every day.  Now she can get a shower daily.  In our old house, it was very hard to get her into the bathroom, but not here!

 
 
 
 
 
this is today:)  Selah is enjoying the big chair.
 
 
 
the cat's area

 
 


Sam's and the other kids' bathroom

 
 
the laundry room which has been in great use as always

 
 
Shad's room
obviously we have not done all the decorating.  Shad has Star War pictures to go up

 
 
 
 
our room with our own bath

 
 
 
Sarah's room

 
 
Sam's room
 
 
 
 
 
Steve's room
 
 
 
Kitchen
 
 
 
 

 

 

 
 
 
 

My plan is to sand and repaint the dining room chair and table with black trim instead of white.  I've got everything bought but I'm a little afraid to do it but the white just doesn't do it! 



 
see the little half door?  That's to keep Sam out of the kitchen and safe!
 
So I hope you've enjoyed all the pictures.  We feel so blessed by all that was done for us.  If you are wondering Habitat for Humanity helps families but the houses are not free.  We still have a mortgage, insurance and taxes.  But there is no way we could have afforded a home that was handicapped accessible for our kids without Habitat's help.  We had looked at homes on the market and what we could afford, was about the same size of the home we already were living in.  And none of the homes had anything that was handicapped accessible, we would have had to have them all remodeled.  But with some much labor, materials and even the land donated, this home became something we could afford for our family.  We are truly grateful to everyone who had a part in this.  It makes life so much sweeter and easier for our kids, especially our little ones. 
 
 (article about dedication)
 


 

 

Sunday, June 14, 2015

Most Improved!

A quick update on my friend, Robby was downgraded from ICU to a regular room and is off oxygen.  His wife was told that the only reason he made it was because of his age.  he was extremely sick but thank God he is on the road to recovery!  Thanks for your prayers for him and my girl friend  


Well we have been busy packing!  I know I say that all the time but it is amazing how much there is to do in a move with this many people.  I actually had to repack the kitchen as I packed it when we thought we were moving in April..... since then I'd been taking things out as needed.  We will move things on Thursday, Friday and Saturday.  I'm not sure how everything will work out right now but I HAVE A PLAN!   Luckily I've been able to pack some things into the church's various rooms/buildings.  So those things will go first and be unpacked before we start on what is in the house.  We are planning on doing Selah's room on Saturday and hopefully doing it all in a couple of hours so she can be moved in with no stress to her!  Her and her nurse will go to the movies for a few hours until it is all moved out of her old room and unpacked in her new room. 

Hopefully I have someone to watch Sam and Sarah!  Their normal babysitter is sick along with her whole family so I don't know how things will go.  I can only keep my fingers crossed.  Otherwise, Jon will have to stay home with them.  The kids can't be up in al of it!  And  I have to be able to tell folks where to put things because I have it all in my brain LOL.  He doesn't know how I want things.  My husband is NOT one of those husbands who get involved or is interested in decorating or doing house stuff LOL   He likes it once it is all done, but he doesn't have any big preferences other than NO pink (for him) and it has to be comfortable. 

This whole moving thing is exhausting!  The logistics of moving 7 people are overwhelming.  We are trying to be precise & thoughtful.

When I worked, I tried to have an idea of "Touch it ONCE"  That meant I could only touch a piece of paper one time without doing to it what ever was needed.  If it needed to be filed, it should be filed the first time I touched it instead of putting it into a pile of filing.  If I needed to return a call, I'd return it then instead of putting the paper in a pile of other calls....Now I know I did not always live up to that but I tried to and that's what I'm trying to do in this move!


We also took time to go and see the new movie Jurassic World.  I loved it, we all did.  I love going to movies with my family.  We had to take Sam and Sarah and Sarah liked the theater seats.  I usually hold her or keep her in her wheelchair but she was antsy (probably the loud noise) and she wanted her own seat, that she proceeded to rock the rest of the movie.  It was cute.  I think she wants her own theater seat.

Friday night we also went to Shad's award ceremony.  He received the Most Improved Award for 5th grade.  His teacher shared how Shad never has struggled academically but he has struggled with telling the truth and doing things the way he was told to do them.  It was a little funny to me, being the sarcastic person I am.... in fact I felt my husband shaking with silent laughter too, and that almost did me in.  Luckily the room was dark and just the stage was lite up or we might would have embarrassed ourselves.  I guess there is just no easy way to give someone the Most Improved without sharing how or why they needed to improve!   Shad was quite happy about the award.  He also had straight A's for the year and did 90 school books.  He finished 5th grade, by being firmly into 7th grade work.   Wonder how far he will go next year?

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
This is a picture of our giant steroid kittens nursing.  Ladies this is what YOU look like when you are nursing your four year old LOL!!!!  Gladys is quite tired of them and stays outside most of the time.  She'd rather deal with the dog than the kittens LOL  The kittens are just over 3 months old!  Are they huge or what???

 
 
Just three months ago!!!!!
 
 
 
 
 
 
Yesterday I opened the gate and looked beside me and JUMPED!  Look at who was looking at me!   Guess he likes the honeysuckle bush too.  Don't worry he was not harmed, just a little garden snake.




Well I don't know how often I'll have a chance to update this week but I will when I can with lots of pictures!!!   Wish us luck on the move ....I'm just praying I will not get too stressed out or drop a box on my toe....Especially with half the church helping us LOL!~!!!!  They might not think I'm a good PW!

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

School's Out!

School is out for the summer....FINALLY!  So today we are at the library as a major thunderstorm swirls  around us.  Shad is reading a new "Goosebumps" book, Sam is working on his GeminIIa program, Steve's working on some of his paperwork for college and Sarah is playing on the floor.  We have been a little lax with Sam's GeminIIa speech program because we could not down load the next session to his I pad and didn't have the time to come to the library.  So we are downloading everything we can so he'll have it for the next couple of weeks.  We can't wait to have high speed internet!  If you don't live in the country you have no idea in this fast paced world of how hard it is to do things!  If you remember dial up....that's about what we have. 

So we have only one week to go before the dedication of our new home!  The dedication will be next
Wednesday afternoon.  We plan on moving Thursday-Saturday. Since we have so much of our things packed up already and in our church's fellowship hall, those things will go first.  then we will work on the church office and nursery which are also filled with boxes.  We plan on doing that on Thursday.  Friday we'll move everything left out of our house and all the furniture.  Then Saturday morning we are moving Selah's room.  Two of her nurses are coming to help us and keep her as calm as possible.  So I have it all worked out in my mind how it will go.  I'm a pretty good mover and rather organized most of the time, I've just never moved with 5 kids and all kinds of medical equipment.  Thankfully we will have lots of help. 

The next Friday night our church and some friends are throwing us a housewarming shower.  So many things to look forward to :)

Sarah is just growing and growing.  It's so great to see her have a growth spurt.  Selah has had one too and we've gone through Selah's closet and Sarah has gotten a lot of hand me downs.  She is looking so cute in one of Selah's sun dresses today.  Since Sarah doesn't understand modesty (which means she twirls and lets her clothes go wherever they want to go LOL)  she wears bicycle shorts or shorts that are called "playground shorts" under her dresses.  Actually the bike shorts are nicer and longer.   It's important to me when people to see my little ones and they know that we care about them and how they look.  Sometimes when we are at a specialists we will see other children who are like Selah or Sam or Sarah (meaning the child depends on the parent completely to be clean and dressed) and the child is so dirty and they have on dirty clothes.  Not that an accident can't happen or something be spilled but that's not usually the case with some of these precious kids. You can tell they aren't kept clean.   I get so upset as do my nurses if one is with me.  To me it is disrespectful to the child to not take good care of them in all areas.  The clothes don't have to be new or expensive, Sarah has a cute dress on today that Selah has worn for two years, that I got from a thrift store I probably didn't pay more than $2 for it or it may have been given to me from someone else and now both girls have worn it!  So I'm not saying someone has to spend a hundred dollars on a child's outfit but they can be clean and decent looking.  Every time we've taken Selah to a doctor, we are complimented on how clean she is, not just her body but her mouth and gtube & trach  area etc....  Of course with Selah I have the nurses to thank for the great care she gets and that is what I tell our doctors every time.  Mouth care is a huge thing for a handicapped child.  Selah tends to keep her mouth open and gets dried gook on her tongue that has to be cleaned off carefully.  Both Sam and Sarah have to have their teeth brushed for them and it is quite a procedure since neither know how to spit.  We do all their personal care because we love them but sometimes it is quite a chore.  Sarah is very hard to dress, it's like she doesn't get the reason why her arms or legs are being moved. I'm so glad when it is warm weather and she wears shorts and short sleeved shirts.  It makes life much easier.   Sam helps us dress him and that is a huge help!  When we move, we are putting a bar up in Sarah's room like a ballerina bar in hopes that she can learn to hold on to it and help us dress her, by lifting a foot to put in her pants leg and things like that.  Her therapist recommended it. 


Here is Sarah in her thrice worn thrift store hand me down dress.  Cute huh?




Can I ask you a favor?  Two of my childhood friends are really going through some major health issues.  My best friend that I had growing up, has gotten a  thyroid cancer diagnosis and has had surgery for its removal.  She is now waiting to learn the next step.  Please pray for my precious friend who made my life so happy as a kid/teen.  She means the world to me.  We don't see each other but like once a year now but when we do, it's great!  Pray that every cell of cancer is gone and that she has a perfect recovery.   My other friend is a guy who grew up going to church with me- I've known him all my life.  He and his wife graduated from high school with me.  He has a very rare form of  pneumonia.  His wife has been told that he will get much worse before he gets better and will have to go on a respirator.  They don't want to have to do that of course!  Both of my friends need God's help in their physical bodies as well as peace.  Please pray for my friends.  Thank you!

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

FB Rant

You either love or hate FaceBook.  I love it for the most part because it makes me feel close to far away friends on a daily basis.  I love seeing pictures from one of my best friends who lives in Idaho and being able to "talk" to her instantly.  I love hearing stories from friends living overseas.   I love keeping up to date with many friends who live all over the US, friends I went to high school, college, worked in ministry with, or just knew from different points in my life. 

I even love the debates.  I have an interesting atheist friend.  He keeps me on my toes.  I have Christian friends who are really deep that inspire me.  I LOVE to hear the adoption stories...


BUT I HATE HATE HATE the silly Christian sayings that are forever all over FB.  "God's got that"  "Go Jesus"  "Praise God I got a parking space"   They really make me cringe inside.  And don't even get me started on the pictures that say "share if you love Jesus". 

Oh no I'm going to get hated on....but it's true, I find myself cringing and rolling my eyes. 

WHY?

Because it lowers who God is.  It makes God just the "man upstairs", your "good buddy"

Yes God is our friend.

But He is also the  God of the Universe not just your bud.

And for someone who may be going through a dark valley, asking for and needing a miracle, your cute little silly" thank you Jesus for a parking space" can grate on someone's nerves! 

Do I think God could orchestra a free parking space for someone who needed it?  Yes I do BUT do I think He is going to do that just because you did not want to walk a few steps...No I don't! 

If I were not a believer, every single day on FB I would be so turned off by silly stupid remarks people say and "miracles" they attribute to Jesus that I'd run the other way as fast as I could. 

Think about things, give God glory- but do it respectfully.  Remember every instance in the Bible that a man saw God the man would fall down.  That is the kind of awesome God we serve, One who is all powerful.  He parted the Red Sea not the Walmart parking lot! 



Sunday, June 7, 2015

Long Week

I've been a lazy blogger lately!  This week we've spent, going through things and buying a few things as we get ready to move in 1.5 weeks!  YES!  It really doesn't seem real since we've not been inside the house for over 3 months.  I will admit to driving by LOL

We are also redoing the parsonage that we have lived in for the past 9 years.  We are going to pull up the carpet and put in wood floors, paint, redo the bathroom and septic system of the church and the parsonage so I've got stuff going on with that too.  One of our church members is moving in it. 

The end of school is at hand, Shad had his field trip to Busch Gardens last week and rode EVERY rollercoaster!  NOW I know he is adopted LOL  He is braver than all of us!!!!!   He had such a blast, he is an adventurous kid! 

We've continued having respite care for the little ones and have been able to spend more time with our older boys and some other family members.  Friday night we had the absolute best time out.  I admit I was tired and not thrilled with the restaurant picked in the beginning.  If you don't know I am NOT adventurous  with food.   But we went to Harry's Bar and Grille in Lakeland with some family and close friends.  We've all been together since before we were all married:)    Since we had such a big party we got a back room which was great!  We ended up having the absolute best night ever.  Even the food was good.  Then we most of us went out walking on Munn Park in Lakeland that has totally been redone and has become a Hip place instead of a place where you would get mugged.  Jon and his brother went to the nursing home to see his dad and help put him to bed for the night.  Then we all reconvened at our friends house and talked & ate ice cream until it was time for us to get home to our sitter!  It was a night that just filled your heart up with happiness and good memories! 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 




 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
 
 

 
 
 
 






 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
We love Lakeland, I have since the day I moved there in August 1984.  It's the perfect size town, not too big that you don't run into folks you know but not so little that it has nothing.  I love the fact that we rarely go somewhere in Lakeland that we don't see some friends.  And Lakeland has grown a lot over the past 31 years.  Jon's family all live in Lakeland and many of our good friends do too.   Good thing I love it, we will be spending a lot more time there for the next four years!
 
 
 
Some Sunday pictures
 
 
 
 
 





 





 





 

 






 

 I expect this next week to be full too.  I'm feeling quite discombobulated about moving....I've got so much done, but the last little things are the worse to do.  I find myself just walking around with something in my hand trying to figure out what I'm doing.  It's not good.  It maybe funny to my family but it is not good. 


We are also looking to find a home for our dog Molly, she is just too energetic  for us.   She is a good dog, but we are forever having to back her off the little ones, even Selah in her wheelchair.  She just wants to love them but can't seem to understand that's not what we want her to do.  She almost knocked Sam down today, just to love on him.  He was NOT pleased with her!    She would be great in a family that could dedicate a lot of time with her.  We take her on our long walks almost daily and it doesn't even seem to tire her out.  My husband thinks she may have been bred to hunt as she will go after anything in the woods.  She chased a bunch of wild hogs one day and Jon almost had to sit on her to stop her.  She runs like a greyhound when she really gets going.  Her only bad habit is digging......she digs up animals, frogs, armadillos, turtles....and she digs for the sake of digging too!  She is a sweet dog, maybe if anyone in this area knows someone who is a hunter and GOOD to his dogs you can get in touch with me.  I have some messages out to some of our relatives too.    For our family we need an older dog, who is nice but who doesn't get too excited.   We were spoiled with our dog Brownie, she was perfect for us even tho she did dig a little, she seemed to "get" the little ones, and never bothered them. 

 
 
 
please email me if you are interested in her, I have to have references too :)  We want to know she'll be taken good care of.    theclanton5@aol.com   We are not in a hurry to "get rid of her" but we do want to find her a good home where her needs will be met.  In our home, our little ones come first but we also look after our pets. 
 
Hope everyone had a great weekend and have a great Monday!
 
 




Monday, June 1, 2015

More on the Duggars

One of my readers sent the full police report in a format that I could open.  Obviously I had some misinformation but most folks who responded did also.  My misinformation was only WHEN did the family go to the police.  I thought they'd gone to the one man and it generated the police report.  That was not true.  The police were called in after a report was made to Children & Families.  I don't like to give out misinformation.  Sorry.

Also my husband never experienced any child trying to touch him, I got a story that happened to his close friend mixed up, and thought it happened to Jon!  But Jon did listen to his friend about another boy and they never hung around the other kid again.  His friend's situation made such an impression on Jon that he was wary of other kids. 




http://imgur.com/a/zqPMi#0

The first thing that struck me reading the police report was that I was reading the police report!  Basically as a juvenile  probation officer or supervisor I would have been fired and possibly criminally charged if I would have ever revealed a police report on a juvenile!!!!!  I can't get passed the fact that the police chief, who is retiring, released this!  In my opinion she should be fired and stripped of her retirement.  Whether we like it or not, juvenile records are not for public consumption.  How very unprofessional.  Obviously there was a bias, even a hatred against the Duggar family for someone to do that. 

Reading the police report was ugly and sad for all.   But some good signs I saw in it was that the family did deal with the situation.  They had two family meetings where Josh's sin/misbehavior was discussed.  That makes me feel that they addressed it within the family, let the kids know it was wrong, probably asked everyone if he'd done anything to anyone else and warned the children.  I can't help but think that THIS incident might be the reason all the girls sleep together and all the boys sleep together so there is accountability.       

The family contacted the family of the other victim and told them what had happened.  They did not hide the truth.

The family did go to a cop, maybe he wasn't the best choice but at the time, they did do something.

They also sent Josh away- for work and some spiritual counseling. 

Was it enough?  Well.....there is no proof that anything else happened after that time.  No matter what anyone says, there is no discussion of him doing anything after he was 14 years old. 

Would I have handled it differently? Probably.  But to be quite honest, they handled it better than most families I've dealt with who have had this issue. 

Do I think this act of a 14 year old should ruin his life?  NO!

Do I think the media and others really care about the victims? NO  I think there are way too many people, Christians included who enjoy the fact this has happened and I find that rather sick!

Does it make me more cautious with my own kids? YES!  I don't ' ever want anything to happen to my kids! 

So what can we learn from this?  I think to be more open and direct with our children.  Let them know what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior and not just from other people TO them but also where the limits are for their behavior.  I'm good about telling my kids NOT to let someone touch them, but I also need to tell them to be careful how they are acting around other kids.  As Steve has gotten older, we certainly have told him to avoid the very appearance of wrong doing.   Now we've had a discussion like that with Shad.  Always before our discussions were based on fear of something happening to him, this time, it was to redefine acceptable behavior, even if he is curious. 

I don't think any one thing "caused" this to happen in Josh's life.  I've seen things like this in Christian and non Christian homes, blacks, whites, Hispanics, Asians etc....good homes/bad homes, strict homes, permissive homes.... it happens in every culture.....  

Personally, I don't like how the Duggars addressed sex with their kids but that's just my opinion.  We've always been completely honest with our boys and answered every question they've had.  But we also have not gone overboard and given them info that maybe at a younger age they were not even thinking about.   We've not tried to heap guilt on them and have tried to make them understand that sex is just a part of life but that the Bible gives us guidelines on how to deal with it.  My family gave me NO sex education but that's ok my friends told me all about it LOL. The very little my aunts told me, was all totally negative.   Jon had little guidance in that area also  He has a really funny story but I'll let him tell it one day! 

So this is the end of my discussion about the Duggars unless something major comes out.  I wish them well and hope that everyone recovers from this situation.  The parents are going to be on Megyen Kelly- fox news Wednesday night to tell their side of the story.  It should be interesting.  I watch Megyen Kelly ALL the time and love her.  We were on her show some years ago when we had bank robbers living next door to us.....LOL  I've watched her ever since.