Monday, March 28, 2016

Thinking of Selah

4 years ago we got this picture of Selah Johannah.  It was just two days until we left to go meet and adopt her and Sarah.  We had just found out about Selah and committed to adding her to our family.  When I got this picture, I just though Selah was so beautiful. 
I miss the little girl she was....  She is stable and doing great according to her doctors.  We have no real issues to worry about with her.  She has the most wonderful nurses in the world and a perfect room/suite, all her needs are met.  She seems to seldom be displeased about anything.  Believe me if she doesn't like something, we know it!  While Selah doesn't smile, she certainly frowns very easily so we have no problem figuring out things she doesn't like.  We've gotten her the very best medical care and tried several things to help her.  But three plus years after the accident, she is no closer to coming back to us.  Thankfully she came back, more than what was expected.  We saw a few changes in the first year but I don't think we've really seen anything new for a long time.  She does focus at times on us, but she's done that since before she ever left the hospital.  She certainly responds to sound, light and physical touch.  She hates shots!  Every year when she gets her flu shot, she cries.  Since she has had the same nurses for over 3 years now, they can figure out quickly the things she needs/wants so in some ways she seems more with us, since we can figure out her needs pretty easily. 
I wish we could just turn back the hands of time ......I miss Selah.  I wonder how things would be if the accident had not happened.  We saw such amazing emotional growth with her in just the three months we had her before the accident.  She was responding to our love and learning things so quickly.  Selah was intellectually disabled and would have never lived on her own, but she went from  being like a baby mentally to a toddler in just a few weeks.  She knew what some words meant.  If I asked her if she wanted to eat, she'd rush to the table.  If I said let's go play outside, she would go to the door.  We couldn't believe how fast she was picking up things.  She loved her new clothes (and both girls had a closet full!)  She liked for me to dress her and she liked to look in the mirror at herself.  She was like dressing a baby doll every day:)  I loved dressing both girls but since Selah could see, it was a treat to watch her respond to being cared for with love. 
I'm glad I had those months with her.  I'm glad we still have her, and we can give her all the love and care she deserves.  I'm forever thankful for our new home and her room/suite-I am so glad she has such a wonderful room where everything is easy for her and her nurses.  Whenever a new medical person comes to our house for some reason, they all are amazed by her room.  It's like a hospital room as far as everything is there in case she needs it but it's a little girl's room all the way.  Oh and boy does she have a closet full of clothes now!  Her nurses all love on her and buy her things.  Her closet is the same size as mine & Jon's and she has almost as much clothes as the two of us do!  No kidding!  I used to pick out her clothes but her nurses enjoy dressing her and making her pretty every day.  Her hair is always done and she is always dressed so nicely.  It's a comfort to have her given such wonderful 24 hour a day care.  They are committed to making her life as easy as possible.  When I say we are blessed by these ladies, I'm not kidding, they are amazing in so many ways but it's a blessing to know they love her.  It took us a few months to get a team in place and I'll be honest I have no idea how many nurses I fired along the way- I'd say more than 10 at least!  But if I had any qualms about the person, they had to go.  I can't watch her/them 24 hours a day and I had to have people in there that I had total faith in.  I have  total faith in our nurses.  If we have to be out of town or if something is going on (like Jon having a heart attack) I don't have one worry about Selah, because I know she is taken care of.  We are blessed!
The nurses have her on a schedule and she does great with the schedule.  She's never had a bed sore or any type of problem like that.  She gets a bath, has her hair done and gets up in her wheelchair.  Then after an hour, she goes on the stander, then back to bed for awhile.  Some days she has a therapist that comes in and works with her for an hour.  Then it's time to go back to her chair, then the stander and then back to bed....   Some days she goes outside, even on her stander that rolls out the door or in her wheelchair.  She stays busy, never doing the same thing for too long.  She has the TV

And she sure watches it.  We've found all kinds of cute little baby/children programs on YouTube for her.  There are a few I find memorizing :)   We all work together -we all try and put ourselves into her situation and how we would feel.  So we try to do everything we can think of to meet her needs.

Thank you all for your prayers for Selah over the years, please continue to pray for her, we'd love to see more good changes.  But we are also grateful for her being stable, no sickness for over three years if we can get through April!  Doctors ( at regular appointments with various specialists) tell me all the time that kids "like her" don't stay well and have so many issues but Selah has not had any of those things.  I truly believe that is because of her great nursing care.  I'm so grateful that she is not in pain or has to deal with a lot of sicknesses. 

I still grieve and feel sadness about the accident-I don't think that will ever go away.  But I do think ahead to heaven and knowing that there is coming a day when she (and the rest of us) will be completely healed.  I'm thankful for that eternal hope!


  1. Glad to hear Selah is doing so well.
    Do the nurses have an area in her room (more so for the overnights when she is sleeping) where they can sit down and stuff or are they throughout the house? Just wondering because ours are mostly out in the living room unless they are tending to her. Obviously during the day they are out wherever she is which is mostly in the living room unless she's getting physio or being changed. It takes a while to get used to having someone in your house 24 hours a day!

    Glad you have such great nurses :)

    1. Even in our old house that was smaller the nurses stayed in her room unless they were going to the bathroom or getting her meds from the fridge. In our new house we have everything in her suite including a fridge & microwave & she has a door to the carport so they come & go without ever leaving her room.

      Honestly I would have never had nurses all in my living room. They are there to take care of her & should remain where they can see her at all times. I learned a lot from one of my nurses early on about boundaries & it helped I do have a recliner & a work chair in her room. If u want to email me about this feel free to do so but I think u need more boundaries with your nurses. I have to have a break from other people in our house!!!

  2. And her nurses stay with her during therapy in case she needs suctioning. And they are the ones who change her.