Selah is on the road to recovery, she is napping this afternoon with her heart rate in the 80's! Hopefully everything can be arranged by tomorrow for her to come home.
Sam, on the other hand, woke up crying early this morning. I got him back to sleep by rubbing his back. After lunch I gave him some Tylenol and he promptly threw it up. He was somewhat playing around and holding it in his mouth but ....something is up with him! Please pray that he can hang in until we get to NY next week. I plan on taking him to our pediatrician on Monday to be on the safe side.
Church was great today. Being the pastor's wife at a small rural church has its rewards and its trials... The last few weeks have just been really good and sweet services. It's hard because our "snowbirds" are all leaving for the season but we are starting to see some new people come who live here year round. Today we had 3 new members join:) Of course one was a "junior" member our son Shad. We are not real into membership, we wouldn't care at all except our denomination likes to see growth and we have learned legally it is important to have members in good standing if there is anything to vote on....YES there is a good story there and NO I'm not going to share it LOL!
Growing up I always wanted to be a pastor's wife. I looked up to our Pastor (there were many of them- our church kinda worked through them , a new one every year or so) and their wives. I just knew I wanted to be a PW (pastor's wife) I played "church" I put all my dolls on the "front row" aka the side of the bed and turned on the record player for some good old gospel music! Then later we had a tape recorder and would get the pastor's sermons weekly so me and the dolls would listen to them. Sometimes one of my dolls would misbehave and I'd have to "take them outside and spank them" ROFLOL! I can't believe I'm sharing this! My Barbie Dolls were also PWs but usually a bit of a "hoochie mama PWs" LOL They were wearing halter dresses and no panties LOL
I didn't date guys who weren't interested in God and being in the ministry. Actually I didn't date much in high school but at bible college...LOOK OUT! There were all these guys who were planning on going into ministry. thankfully even back then, God gave me some discernment despite my foolishness and I was careful even them. There was one guy I was just crazy about but despite that, things just never went anywheres and I always had a fear he wasn't serious about ministry. And he didn't go into ministry which has always made me sad. I look back and see how God directed my steps towards Jon in spite of myself:)
So then Jon and I meet so romantically at a Homeless Shelter:) He was the director and I applied for the assistant director's job and got it:) (the board hired me not Jon) Well we actually met in college sort of... we were in the same class and I was the only girl so he remembered me. I remembered him because he was the only guy I didn't know. I thought he was a married student who lived off campus. The class was "Urban Context for Ministry" I had just done an internship in NYC over the previous summer so I shared about it and he liked me then:) You never know what a guy will like about you LOL
So we eloped and got married...I was married to a minister... From the beginning I learned about working with boards (there is a special place in hell....) and folks with a million different opinions. As time went on and we did other ministry I soon realized I really did NOT like being a PW! I dont' like people very much and they can easily get on my last nerve! What was I thinking as a child????
Really in the past few years, I've grown to be confident in who God made ME. I'm not a singer, not a piano player, not a real people person, I have very little tact and worry even less about it. . I don't like ot be hugged either LOL But I am administrative, a visionary, someone who sees the whole picture and the pitfalls or positives ahead. I've got my husband's back and see things for what they are. I've looked at some PWs and envied them and their grace and I've looked at some others one and just rolled my eyes... And I've learned to be who God made me.
So I'm not the picture perfect PW I dreamed of being when I was a little girl. I get this one "compliment" quite often...."You are a different sort of pastor's wife" I take it as a compliment. Usually people say that to me as I'm being real with them. You can be real with me and I don't flinch, life totally sucks sometimes and sometimes we make crazy bad decisions.... Life is real and I try to be real with others. Sometimes that helps people know that everyone has problems...BUT I always want to point people to Jesus NOT to me.....He has the answer when no one else does.
It's been a journey....
I've learned to not depend on others, to put my faith and hope in God. Which is a good thing. I've been disappointed by people over the years. Truthfully, it's made me more cynical towards people, I take promises with a grain (or a bag) of salt. I think putting your hope and confidence in others is the worst thing you can do. One thing I have learned if a person in church says they would be in our church NO MATTER WHAT and would follow you anywhere....be sure that will be the first person to NOT do that LOL. (we'd never aks that of anyone either....)
I grew up in a DYSFUNCTIONAL church....I mean it was a church that the denomination should have dealt with, crazy foolishness, control issues...awful... BUT where some folks lost their faith because of the crazy foolish things other people did, I didn't lose my faith. Somehow I KNEW God was so much more than the craziness I saw. The church was considered a pastor's graveyard. We had pastors stay as little as 4 months. It had a terrible reputation. Now it is but a shell of what it was, only a handful of people in a big old church.
In my teen years, I made my mind up that God was not causing people to act stupid. It was their flesh and I shouldn't blame God. I've carried that through my life.
At one point I worked in a ministry that was about as LOONY BINS as possible. You wouldn't even believe me if I told you some of the stories. When there is a "reunion" of some of us, we actually have to ask each other if we remember things correctly...could it have been that crazy? (what I mean by crazy is low moral standards, CONTROL, silly rules etc...) I knew that God didn't cause things to be like that, it was a silly man or two that screwed up an important ministry.
When I see things now. I just chalk it up to people's flesh, foolishness, unfaithfulness....It's not healthy to hold "a record of wrongs" and I try to just laugh about things and move on. That probably goes under the heading of being cynical but....
Through the years, especially the past 9 years after having a child with handicaps, I've seen the shallowness of the "church world". BUT I've also seen the best of it too! I've learned how to act towards others as they go through pain and more often than not, how NOT to act towards others as they go through pain! Since the accident, we have been surrounded by love and support, but not always from the ones we would have thought it would come from. There are times when it has amazed me both for the good and for the bad.... Strangers that didn't know us or barely knew us, did amazing things for us, others who were closer didn't even send a card. That was hard to swallow at times, maybe it still is. We had all kinds of promises made to us right after the accident, that we have never seen anything of those promises. At that point, it so didn't matter to us, we couldn't even think about anything beyond the next few hours and our complete focus was on Selah. It still doesn't matter to us because we have learned WHO our provider is. It is God and no one else.
When you get past MAN and realize who God is and how HE is so above all the foolishness and pettiness of life, then things begin to click into place for you. It helps you learn to "LET IT GO" So someone failed you? Get over and turn to God who will never ever fail you. Don't use the dysfunction of your family, your church or some idiot on tv to keep you from God. Even the best folks fail at times. You can learn from a bad example how to really be there for someone else. I know I've learned that! I've also learned from strangers how it warms the heart of a family in grief to get cards from someone they don't even know. In the past, I'd see something on the news and feel like I should send a card or something but didn't because I didnt' want to be weird! BUT now having gone through a tragedy, I KNOW I will never let something like that happen again, I will send a card, call, give...something to help others even if I don't know them. God nudged people to reach out to us and it was such a blessing! I want to be a blessing to others! And what I love is they did it with NO thought of gain for themselves. Sometimes people do stuff for you, but they are really doing it for themselves. They want to be seen as the "go to person" or they do something because they feel obligated, not out of LOVE. And you know what? It is easy to tell when something is done in love, WITH NO STRINGS ATTACHED and when something is done to have some type of control. Usually when something is done with strings attached or not in love, it's is what my Granny would call a "half butt" job. ( LOL I've censored her quote to some degree but I'm sure you get the point. BTW I have come to appreicaite my grandmother's wisdom more and more over the years...LOL! ) It's considered that because it's not done with care, because the person really isn't doing it 'as unto the Lord" I teach my kids, espicially when they complain at times about doing yard work or cleaning the church, that they aren't doing it for me, or their dad or even the church folks, they are doing to "as unto the Lord" If we rememeber that, we will do things with our whole hearts and for the right purpose.
When I was younger the Christian rock group Petra, had a song out called "Bema Seat"
Words and music by Bob Hartman
Based on Romans 14:10, 1 Corinthians 3:12-15
Romans 14:10, 1 Corinthians 3:12-15
When our labor all retire
There will be a trial by fire
Will your treasure pass the test
Or will it burn up with the rest
You may build upon a sure foundation
With your building in dilapidation
When it all comes down to rubble
Will it be wood, hay, or stubble
Or precious stones, gold and silver-
Are you really sure?
(Chorus)
And we all will stand at the Bema Seat
All will be revealed - it will be complete
Will there be reward in the fiery heat
When we see our lives at the Bema Seat
Every talent will be sure counted
Every word will have to be accounted
Not a story will be left untold
We will stand watch the truth unfold
Every score - will be evened - nothing to defend
Every building will be shaken
Every motive will be tried
He'll give reward to the faithful
Will you receive or be denied?
Ok I have loved listening to Petra, love this song. Christian Rock from the 80's, I have this on CD and every now and then will listen to it despite my children rolling their eyes at my "old music"! What the heck? This is cool stuff LOL I love their songs "Grave Robber" and "Man Pleaser" Ok I am regressing here....
This song really helped me understand the whole "Bema Seat Judgement" Or the idea that as Christians we will be judged by our deeds and given rewards based on them. (see the scriptures above) So one day even Christians will be judged by what we have done or not done and WHY we did it....that should be sobering but it doesn't seem to even be on some folks' radars!
So I have learned much over the years and have to come to realize who God made me and for what reason....So now I can embrace the place God has placed me.
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Jon with our new members. Shad was so glad to become a JR member:)
Jim, Jon's brother, Shad and Irene
Guy and Mrs Canady
Guy is the grandson and Mrs Canady the daughter of the man who founded our church
Ziggy & Anita & Guy
this is their last service with us this season. They sang "God be with you till we meet again" and made me cry:)
This picture cracks me up...it's Jon, me and Mario Duque, our guest speaker. We all went to college together, now I'm wondering how the heck did these old guys with grey hair come from??? LOL both of them will be 50 this year, how the heck is that possible????
Mario brought a great sermon, with some illustrations I will remember! He and his wife have done church planting/evangelism in Miami for years and are gearing up for a large project involving planting several churches! Love to see FAITHFUL people who don't let anything change them or turn their vision aside!
And then lunch....:)
Ken & Lynn on the left are moving down full time and Ziggy & Anita are leaving till next fall. We love our snowbirds!
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So here are our pictures from a year ago.
I've shown a few of these as L is sitting beside me on the swing. She is one of the orphans we are raising money for this month.
Once L gets adopted, all three of these girls will have familes!
my Sarah chilling!
all the children were out
precious boy so glad he is now adopted!
