Day 110 Fish Oil Study ~Where have all the cats gone and gold toilets!

How many days will I number for the fish oil study?  I'm giving it 6 months of a daily update and then I'll do it when ever we see changes.

Today the nurse and I took Selah to see our regular pediatrician.  He is a wonderful doctor and has been a great help to me over the years.  Dr W has common sense, which seems to be lacking in the medical field and he has no ego.  Amazing right?  We think the world of him as do many of my friends who go to him also.  It was quite emotional for me.  I just started crying from the moment I signed in up at the front desk.  Everyone is so kind and I know they care and are rooting for us.  I managed to hold myself together after awhile and we got some good things done and decided on.  I've always been thankful for his help with Sam and the other kids but I think this journey will be easier by having him working with us.  She has had a good day, and has remained stable.  Her pre-op is next Friday and then she will have surgery on March 5th.

We rushed home to interview a nurse to take the two open night shifts.  It didn't work out but we have another one coming to meet us tonight. 

Then Jon and I took the other kids out to eat a late lunch.  It's the first time we've been out just us since we've been home.  We go out with folks from our church on Sundays but this was just us.  I had ran into an old friend at the doctor's who had somehow not heard of what had happened to us.  Then all through the day wherever I went I ran into folks who told me they'd been thinking and praying for us.  It really meant alot to hear that!

Steve actually used his gift cards he had gotten for Christmas today!  All I can say is life has been busy!  But he got some good stuff and was a happy boy:)

We've had an unusual problem the last 9 months....  It started right after we came home from Ukraine.  I have taken care of about 20-25 cats that lived at the church.  Most of them I had gotten fixed but occasionally a new one would pop up, usually pregnant of course.  When we moved here 7 years ago, there were about 20 and the number stayed pretty consistent for years.  Some I"d find homes for, some would disappear or get killed on the road, some would get sick or hurt and I'd have to have them put to sleep....but some had been here for a decade or so.   Then they started disappearing sometimes two or three a week.  That just didn't happen!  Cats seldom left here!  Since last June we have "lost" 21 cats and are down to just 6 (we were up to 27)  We have few neighbors and the ones we have are great, they are all wondering what has happened too.  They are all animal lovers and we know they did nothing to hurt them.  We are thinking either a panther or maybe someone let loose a python in the woods/swamp behind our house.   We have NO idea!  Obviously we lived here for years and I know we have bobcats (seen a few) and foxes in the woods.  But we don't hear anything nor do we find any evidence whatsoever!   So of the cats left only one is a really tame one.  He is what we call an original church cat, he was a kitten when we moved here.  So tonight Smokey  left with our day nurse who loves cats!  We hope this will give him a good chance!   I'm down to one dog, our friends kept our inside dog Sweety. And I'm down to 5 stray cats, only one that I can pet.  This is very different for me, the animal rescuer!  But with our life like it is, I don't want to deal with an animal in the house and we certainly don't want any new ones outside, since we've had all these odd disappearances.  When the disappearances first started in June I had the boys sleep on the floor of the little kids' room for a few nights.  I really got it in my mind that it was a python, and all I could think is it would come in our house and try and get one of the little ones! 

So that's our big mystery.....


Tomorrow is going to be a "fun" day....the guys will be digging out the church's old septic tank....We have redone just about everything here at our church.  To be nice, let's just say it was put together with various ideas of what was proper and at various times by various people.....LOL   We have spent the past 7 years WORKING or raising money to redo things.  Our goal was to get it up to code....and we did remodel it which was badly needed.  We knew the septic was going to be an issue.  Thankfully it seems that sand has gotten in the tank and it just needs to be taken out.  It's not nasty or anything thank God!  We will put in a new system but we like to raise the money FIRST so we are going to fix it tomorrow and then work on raising the money and hopefully have it done in the next few months.   Knowing when we came here that there was a lot of physical work to be done on the buildings was daunting as my husband is not a mechanical man nor do we believe in being extravagant in our remodeling as there are so many needs in the world, you won't find a gold toilet here!  One time I was at a conference and another pastor's wife was showing pictures of their remodel of the parsonage (that's the house the pastor lives in )  bathroom.  She said it "only" cost $10,000!!!!   I was looking for some gold toilets and I quite sarcastically said that we'd just finished remodeling the WHOLE parsonage and it only cost about $7,000!!!   I don't have a "poverty mindset" BUT I do think ALOT of pastors need to rethink their priorities!   I think the Catholics have it right when they talk about taking "vows of poverty"   I'm not saying that you can't have a decent house or car but....we should be careful where we spend money especially if it is God's money!!!!!   Somehow on that day we stand before God, I don't know if he will be too impressed abut a chandelier in the church foyer that cost  $20,000!   I think he'd want the money spent to reach people!   I cringe sometimes when I go in churches.....Just being honest!   So this is our next to the last big project....we think we will have to work on the A/C system one day......  Our church was started in the 1940's and many things had not been changed since then!   There are MANY things that you do not learn in Bible school...I could really teach an interesting class or two now LOL

Please keep praying for Selah....I'm really struggling with sadness right now.  During the course of a day, it comes over me like a wave......  The memories are everywhere.....from her little pink car to going somewhere that we last went together to, like the doctor ~ we went there as a family for Sam and Sarah's pre op right before we left for NY.  .  I feel cheated as a mom!  Cheated out of seeing her develop in many ways.  Even cheated from getting to dress her up....she loved her clothes and I loved dressing her cute.  I knew being home would make me feel this so profoundly.  And God does it ever......

Day 109 FISH OIL STUDY

 

This morning the boys dug out the septic tank (at least to the cover) and I worked on my container garden.  I hung a bunch of strawberry plants up and you can see my green "upside down tomato plants" and the ones on the ground are herbs.  I still have some more to plant but ran out of soil.  Hopefully next week I can do my square foot gardens.  This is my 4th year doing them.  They need to be cleaned out really good because some grass has grown in them.  Then I'll add some more soil and new plants:)  I love to garden!!!  There is just something about the smell of dirt and plants...the sun shining, it just makes me feel alive!

 

Selah had a good day, went outside for awhile with the nurse and has been doing fine.  I love that we have to hold almost all her blood pressure meds now!  She is rarely outside the parameters for needing them!  We also have been holding the Valium as she is so calm.  I LOVE it!  The less medicines the better!  She is really happy to be home and shows it by being calm and at peace.  That means alot to me.

 

I ran into some friends at the store today that I haven't seen since the accident.  Glad to know of the many prayers for Selah and our family! 

 

Things/Life is just really hard for me right now.  To be honest I am quite thankful that I'm so busy, it helps me cope.  I'm not a person who needs alot of down time anyhow.  Right now I"m going from the second I get up till I go to bed and thankfully I have no problem going to sleep!  Jon's the same way, he is so busy.  And it's good for us.

 

I feel like we are at a place where we are just waiting....waiting for something to happen.....we have alot of decisions to make in the future but right now we are just hunkered down and living our lives.  It is so obvious that we are going to have to do something about our home.  We keep hoping that Extreme Home Make Over will drive their bus up some morning....LOL  but if that doesn't happen, we are probably going to look at buying or building a house since this is not our home.  We really will need lifts for Selah and a room and bathroom fit for her.  Right now we are just making do with things. 

 

BUT I keep hoping that a miracle will happen where we won't need any of that stuff!  I'd be just so happy in my little house stuffed with kids!  I was happy before! 

 

I just keep remembering that dream I had right after the accident, I want it to come true so bad! 

 

Sorry I"ve been down but again, but this is my real life.....

 

So glad the book of Psalms is included in the Bible.  David was so up and down and he wrote about it.  I feel the same way often within minutes of it LOL   I do hope in God and God alone....  but I feel such despair at times.

 

Please keep praying for Selah!!!!  THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR PRAYERS!

Day 108 Fish OIl Study ~ Prayers needed

 

One of my favorite places...the Lowes Garden Center!

 

Got me some plants to put in the garden...lots of work to be done!

 

 

Selah waiting at the orthopedics's office

 

Well today Selah had an appointment with orthopedics.  I'll call him Dr Hottie!  I never really notice guys and think they are cute...but...as soon as we got back in the van me and the nurse were like "WOW! Selah has a cute doctor!!"  LOL

 

Anyhow Dr Hottie is all business and my kind of doctor!  He is ready to move on things with her.  He will be doing surgery in about 2 weeks to release or lengthen her Achilles heel tendon and to cut the plantar fascitis on her foot.  This will enable her feet/ankles to go back in to a normal position.  She will be able to wear shoes and she will be able to put weight on her feet.   I like doctors who will move on things and get it done!  He said since it has only been 6 months, he expects success with her feet/ankles! 

 

Another thing I liked ....I asked him if the surgery would keep her from walking if she "got a sudden miracle either from God or the fish oil"  and he was so sweet and then answered all my questions by saying "if she gets a miracle" then.....this or that would need to be done...depending on what we were talking about.  He said this would put her in the best spot to walk "if she got a miracle"   I appreciate his kindness and how he considered what I has asked.  I had to fight tears a couple of times....  So a cute and nice and ready to work doctor:)

 

 

I drove her today and it was fine.  She did much better than riding in the ambulance and it boosted my confidence. 

 

For some reason these pictures were on my mind today.....

 

Shad, Selah, Sam and Steve holding Sarah

 

We took the kids to HoneyMoon Island this past summer.  What a fun day it was.....    just thinking about it makes me want to cry....

 

I can be carrying on a conversation but in my mind I'm thinking/praying for Selah.  Today I was talking to someone but my thoughts were of that day at the beach.  Is this it...will she ever recover?  Lately I've been dreaming more and more about her.  A few nights ago I dreamed she had taken her gtube line off and was drinking the pedisure.  I keep having dreams that she has recovered.  But is that just my wishful thinking??  I don't know

 

I do not believe that God is a genie in a bottle or that He does all our bidding for many theological reasons that I don't feel like going into but does He not hear my cries?  Will He not deliver?  Will this be our lot in life?  I know He hears my cries, even when I cry out of my deepest hurt, I feel His nearness....

 

I have dreams for our lives, for my life and this was not one of them!  But, I resolved a long time ago that I would serve God wherever He wanted me to serve.  Right now I know I am to serve God by serving my daughter and my other children. 

 

Last year when we were getting near to our departure for Ukraine, I had a momentarily "FREAK OUT"  I knew what my life was with a handicapped, forever toddler child and I was about to triple that responsibility????  OH MY GOSH, there was a period of a few hours I thought I had lost my ever living mind!  I had to "pray through" that feeling and lay it down at Jesus' feet.  You may think I'm just writing a trite christian saying but I really had to lay down my life anew that day!   See I had just gotten things where I had a little free time, my oldest son was old and responsible enough to babysit some and Shad was responsible for a then 8 year old and Sam was so much healthier and physically able and I was bringing in TWO new children who had all kinds of needs! 

 

So I laid it down, all the fears, all of my selfish thoughts and I told God that even if my life/ministry was going to be serving these three little ones the rest of my life, I was going to do it happily for Him.  And I was happy but afraid of the responsibility...

 

Then we got the girls and got home with them and it was truly all joy!  Of course I knew they would always be with us, probably never ever at a point they could live on their own, just like Sam, but it was just wonderful being their mommy!  It was easy going from 3 kids to 5 kids...people remarked on how peaceful our home was and how I could go out with the little ones by myself.  Just all the things I thought were going to be so hard...weren't at all!  We could not believe how easy things were.  I read other FB posts and blogs of other adoptive parents and couldn't even relate to them.  We did not have one issue, I just felt like Supermom:)

 

Then the accident.....

 

So once again today I had to lay it all down, my thoughts, my fears, my selfish thoughts....I have to be ready to serve as a parent and do it all as onto  God.  Do it as a service to God....I don't do it with a grudge or with resentment, I do it as one who knows there is a God who does listen to our prayers. 

 

So I don't know what is going to happen with Selah...but I adore my sweet little brown eyed girl and I am so thankful she is alive and with us!  When I pray I remind God He just needs to send me back my little Selah, with all her differences...that was what made her MY Selah!  We chose her!  We wanted her just the way she was and still want her just the way she is...but I sure miss the sweet little funny things she used to do.  Some of her sounds, I can't remember anymore....some of her cute little ways are slipping fast from my memory....that makes me so sad!

 

Unless you have gone through something like this or lost a child, because this is much like losing a child, you don't know how this feels.  I had dealt with some hard stuff before this but this "takes the cake"  I handle my emotions most of the time but even when I'm going through my day, my heart is crying even if no one can see it.  No one can help me but God.  No friend can do anything or say the magic word...only God can help me.  He is my strength.  You may not understand that or you may think I'm nuts but He is the only thing getting through this life!  Explaining all of that to someone who doesn't know God would be like telling a blind person what the color green is....  I just don't know how to tell you but I will tell you that God will give you peace in the storms of life.  I feel like I'm in a gigantic hurricane that has lasted for months but yet, there is a corner I can safely go and find the peace of God.  Not false peace, not even the promise that things will turn out the way I want them to, but the peace that passes understanding is what guards my heart....it guards my heart and my mind from probably having a real nervous breakdown.  I guess knowing there is something beyond this life of suffering to hold on to keeps me going!

 

So many folks think God has all kinds of promises in the bible about how this present life is going to be made easy BUT that is not true! (I think you were listening to too many tv preachers!  they are the ones with the false promises)  READ THE BIBLE FOR YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    God has many promises about life in heaven and how He will make all things new on that day and how He will wipe away every tear from our eyes, and there will be no more death for the former things will have passed away!!! 

 

But my heart just cries out for Selah to be healed now.  I want to enjoy her and play with her again!   I don't want to wait!  I want to see her smile and hear her giggle.  I want to teach her new things and see her play with her brothers and sister.  I want her to enjoy food (except for rice -she hated rice)   I want her to watch herself in the mirror after I dress her in a pretty outfit!  I want to see her playing in her pink car and on the swing set!  I want to see her sleeping in her bed, not on a hospital bed, oh you have no idea how much I want those things!  ~   Please pray for her.....keep lifting her name up to the Father.....I don't stop, some morning I wake up praying and most nights I pray myself to sleep.  That doesn't mean I"m some spiritual giant, lol not me!  But my heart cries out.....all the time! 

 

So please join me in prayer for Selah. 

 

 

 

Day 107 Fish Oil Study

 

 

Selah had a good day outside and did lots of work today.  Her nurse did range of motion with her and really worked her!

 

This was a Christmas present from Bell Shoals Baptist Church to me!  I am loving it!  Tonight I made Baked beans, Hot cheese very spicy and turkey meatballs in it!  YUM!  Everyone was very full and happy!  I love this crock pot!

 

 

This is the spider I saved my family from today LOL!  I caught him/her and took him/her out to my garden.  Spiders are great in gardens:)  I did not kill him/her!

 

Good day for Selah which means a good day for me.  I did alot of paperwork for us and the church (finally-after months!)  The kids did good.  Steve worked faithfully on his schoolwork and his Russian!  Today was the first day for him to work on  the Rosetta Stone computer class.  He took it very serious.  Home schools and private schools often use Rosetta Stone for some of their foreign language classes.  He also climbed up in the church attic to learn how to flip the switch on the A/C...do NOT ask WHY it is in the attic of all places.....

 

I did get an email from Selah's doctor in NY and after reviewing the MRI done in Jacksonville, they are just not sure that there has been any change in the brain.  It's hard to compare as the machines are different kinds...:(  I was afraid of that.....  I can't focus much on it right now......

 

Just please keep praying for our sweet Selah!

 

So for my central Florida friends....we have a real issue with the septic tank at the church and possibly at our house also.  Does anyone have a contact that could help us out for a very low price or even for free????  If you have a contact will you contact that person or business and then contact me at theclanton5@aol.com  if they would like to help???  The septic system is very old and not even a tank and we have some issues!!!!!  HELP!!!!!!!  We're just not even sure we can get the lid off without some real muscles! 

 

Another friend is adopting and the adoption is moving so quickly...her is her blog  http://myianna.blogspot.com/2013/02/spring-family-fundraiser.html

 

She has an amazing fund raiser going on with beautiful pictures....You can donate or you can pick one of the pictures or gifts to buy and it all goes for her adoption!!!!!!!

Day 106 FOS~ SALLY HAS A FAMILY!!!!

So much good news today I don't know where to start!

I saw that "Sally" has a family!!!  You can click on this link http://gracehavenhome.com/?p=639
and see the news yourself!  There is a link there so you can give...they call her Patricia...  Her real name is not allowed to be revealed by her country.  I called her Sally in my mind and heart because I LOVE that name and it is a S name and I thought if we were ever able to adopt her maybe my husband would let me call her that (he wasn't too sold on the idea LOL)  

The way this works is the ministry Grace Haven holds the grant for the child until the family is ready to go get her.  Reece's Rainbow works the same way.  If by any chance the family couldn't go, the grant stays with the child in hopes that it will encourage another family to step up since the cost of adoption is what holds many people back. (Even tho it shouldn't!) 

So you know what I'm going to ask...... Please give towards Patrica/Sally's grant!!!!!!!!  If you can't give but a dollar, give that dollar and it will help!  I will be asking for help for this child until she reaches her full grant which I think is $20,000.  She has some on the grant now, not sure exactly how much but we have a ways to go. 

But you see, I've held this little girl, I've looked into her eyes I KNOW she needs a family!  She absolutely captured my heart the minute I saw her.  This child isn't a unknown to me....nor is she unknown to God in heaven above. 

If you want to do something that will absolutely change her life....GIVE....to her ransom....

The last time I saw her I asked the caretakers for her and they went and got her out of bed.  It was the middle of the day and she was very sleepy it made me suspicious to be honest.  All I could do was  to touch her as she laid her head on a care giver's shoulder and I made a promise right then and there in that hallway  to try and help her.  I had hoped we might adopt her but since the accident, that is unrealistic for us.  So I've prayed that someone would come forward and now someone has!  I am so thankful...you really have no idea! 

So please if you can help please do!  If you'd like to do a fund raiser that would be great too!  ANYTHING to help her get home would be wonderful!!!!!!!!

Btw I loved all the comments on my last post!!!!   THANK YOU for understanding what I was sharing and concerned about!   I'd like to respond to each of them but my internet is giving me a run for my money tonight!

Maybe you can repost my blog on FB so others can see Patrica/Sally and hopefully give to her!!!!!!


Today was a great day for Selah!  Our day nurse is so motivated to work with her!  What a blessing she is!  The nurse encouraged me because since Selah's last hospitalization, she again regressed.  But our nurse is setting small goals for her.  Today was working on her holding her head up.  At the point this picture was taken she was about at 20 minutes.  We did put a pillow to give her some support after the first few minutes but she did a fine job on her own!  We even saw her swallow 3x while we were working with her.  I am so thankful for the support of good nurses!   It encouraged me once again to start looking for the "baby steps" that will lead to big milestones!!!   We prayed for good folks to work with and love Selah....thank God we have nurses like that!

 

 

 



 

The whole family at church on Sunday

 

 

Day 105 Fish Oil Study

Selah went to church this morning and has had a great day.  She is stable and doing fine.  We are so thankful that she hasn't had any new issues.  I took some great pictures but I"m having issues downloading the pictures! 


Last night watching tv I saw a commercial for abused animals.  Now anyone that knows me knows I love animals.  I have personally rescued about 200 ladybugs from my house and our church, I stop for turtles and get them off the road, I drive around snakes....I rescue cats and dogs BUT....BUT....  I also do not put animals above people.  Watching that commerical made me think of the FACT that there are human beings in situations much worse than some of those animals.  OH MY GOD, I have seen orphanages and I know what I'm talking about.  I've heard first hand from others who have seen far worse things than I have seen....  Isn't a human worth more than a dog?   I think of my Shad in an orphanage so cold that I could see my breath when I went to pick him up.  A boy so malnourished that he cried and threw a fit when we'd leave the restaurant in the hotel.  A child that acted like a trip to the grocery store was better than going to Toys R Us any day!  A child that would store food in his cheeks for months after we came home so he wouldn't run out of food!  I think of my Sarah with a flat head from being kept tied down to a bed with 3 leather straps, a child that is just learning to walk at 6 years old...WHY?  Was it because she didn't have therapy or there was something wrong with her?  No there is nothing wrong with her except she wasn't allowed to make her developmental milestones.  So in the 9 months we've had her, she has learned how to stand, holding on to things, and now is starting to let go, she has learned how to crawl!  And this is without her being in therapy at all or me really working with her, just allowing her space to move around and be free and she has figured it all out herself despite being blind and delayed!  She was a child who weighed 23 pounds at 5.5 years old when we got to the American Embassy doctors for her check up, we're sure she'd gained weight with us the few days she was with us.  did she have something "wrong" with her?  No she just plain out wasn't fed enough.  Selah has just learning to walk at 7 years old when we picked her up, she was also malnourished and had zero Vit D in her system.  Selah who played with strings all day long...was she delayed, yes but once we got her home, she begin to play with toys and understand what they were for.  A little girl with teeth so bad that we had to have 8 pulled and 6 filled.....

That's what ought to tug at our heart strings, that is what ought to keep us awake at night...that is what should bring us to tears......

As Christians we should be "shouting from the roof tops" about this!  We should have our churches mobilized to do something....but sadly enough we don't care....  It's so much more fun to go to some new "revival" or hear some great preacher tickle our ears and tell us how we are "the King's Kids" and how we can have a wonderful life with all our wants and desires met....It's so much easier and fun to buy that new CD or go to the coolest new christian concert....  It's much easier to go and rescue a dog from the pound than to adopt a child....  it's much easier not to think about the plight of unknown children and disabled adults....  What do you think would have been Shad's, Sarah or Selah's future had they not been adopted?  Shad would have had it the easiest but in his culture, not having a family would have forced him into menial jobs, no education....  Sarah and Selah would have died in institutions, that's the bottom line. 

Obviously every child in distress can't be adopted and not everyone qualifies to adopt but if you are a believer you can do something whether it is to consistently pray, to give, or to adopt ....

I believe in adoption, I bacially was adopted by a relative and I"m thankful for her, she saved my life, no doubt.  Children in America need to be adopted, I will never say that they do not....but as I"ve said before, we do have a social care system that may not be perfect, it is not like other countries I've been to.  Yes sometimes it fails in America but when it does, generally someone goes to prison...not so in many other countries.   It is no big deal there...things are so different.  I do take into account life is harder and even the workers do not have all they need to get by but it is still hard to believe how bad things can be for children, for "the least of these" 

That commerical last night just turned my stomach, we need to have our priorities straight!

I bet most of you reading spend more on your cats/dogs/animals than you do on orphan ministry.  I do take care of my pets but I also don't go crazy and treat them like they are human.

This is another post that I'll probably not get too many comments on.  I appreciate all the comments I get on Selah and we do feel the love, please don't get me wrong but a year ago she also was an orphan that no one card about....we had just learned of her existence, there was never any picture of her on the internet or anywhere, it's a miracle we heard of her!  Just so you know there are about 147 million more Selah's out there....  So many children are alone tonight... many that  are adoptable...for others and for disabled adults you can get involved in some type of ministry to try and help the ones not adoptable....

Remember one day we will stand before God for how we treated "the least of these"

Day 104 fish Oil Study! She is awake:)

After sleeping almost 48 hours she finally woke up this afternoon.  She seems really content her vitals are pretty better than mine or yours!  She is still tight especially in her legs but she is getting better. 

I took this picture after her bath in her new bath chair (thanks again Andrea!)  She certainly woke up for that and was not at all happy with us:)  but she is nice and clean and it really was so much easier and quicker!  She feel back asleep but then she finally woke up.  We had her up in her green bean bag chair all afternoon and she did great with head control even being sleepy:)

 

Our boys had a good time at their friends house last night and Shad went to a Valentine Dance at their school.  I want to see some pictures of Shad man "cutting the rug"  I was told he was the celebrity of the dance:)  We met up with them at the mall today and finally finally finally Jon got a new pair of running shoes.  He lost his shoes in the accident (along with his glasses) and we just have not made the time to go and get a pair of good shoes for him till today.  He did get the glasses a few weeks after the accident!  At least we didn't wait that long for the glasses!!! 

 

I was going to really clean our church tonight and then the toilet overflowed all over the ladies bathroom....and it's cold....I'm not a happy camper!  We got out as much water as we can without a shopvac so we'll do the rest tomorrow morning early! 

 

BTW snow flurries are expected tonight in the county right above us!  BRRR!  How's that for some global warming?  LOL  So you can imagine it is pretty cold here.  I'm glad I didn't put in my garden yet.

 

 

Selah has some doctor's appointments coming up and I've decided to drive her myself rather than her being taken by ambulance.  I had thought it was safer than me driving and the nurse sitting with her in the back.  God forbid she had an issue.....but she seems to HATE the ambulances so bad and gets so stressed out.  I'm a bit stressed at driving her myself but it will be better for her.  If you think I'm being a ninny...just think if you were driving your child and she had an issue with her breathing - a real issue since she has a trach and you are stuck in traffic on I-75 at 5 pm....scary stuff but if the ambulance freaks her out so much, I think in the long run it would be better and exposing her to less germs if I just drive her.  This is one of those things you Haw to play by ear I guess. 

 

So keep us in prayer and please always remember to pray that God would heal our Selah. 

 

Day 103 Fish Oil Study ~ 6 months ago....

Today was six months since our nightmare started.  I've lived it and yet it is still unreal to me.  There are days when I wake up not thinking about it and then it hits me in the stomach like a fist.  How could this actually happen to us?  Looking away 4 seconds...4 seconds and our lives are changed forever...how fast something awful can happen!  It's still too much to comprehend.

Selah had PT come in with the wheelchair person and she had a custom ordered wheelchair ordered for her.  It will fit her and be more comfy than the loaner she has now.  This afternoon she had a massage session with the therapist I go to.  She came to our home to do it.  Selah basically has slept through everything!  She was exhausted.  Her stats have been perfect and the nurse just feels she needs to catch up on her sleep.  She is comfortable.  Her upper body is relaxed but her knees and ankles are just awful!  They are so tight.  She really reacts to stress by tightening up.  The PT and the nurse have seen her so relaxed, actually the PT said she got a 45% range of motion on her knees at her evaluation.  Today she had no ROM whatsoever, just like in Jax at the rehab!!   I have to say the sleepiness has worried me but the nurse thinks it is really good for her. 

For the first time since the accident. I'm allowing the boys to spend the night over at one of my BFF's house.  She also has 5 kids and my boys each have a friend there.  She didn't know this was their first time away since the accident so she has promised to sit up tonight with a fire extinguisher and the phone in one hand while her husband mans the guns !  LOLOL!  I've always been a protective mom but since the accident, let's just kindly say that protectiveness went into over drive!!!!!

Several folks have asked about my neck and it is worse than ever, I now get spasms down it.  I've tried massage and it does help but it doesn't last.  I guess I'm going to have to try and go to a doctor next week about it.  I don't even know where to start and NO chiropractors for me!  This morning was the worst ever! 

So today has been a quiet day, Selah sleeping, the boys gone...oh I wish we could go back 6 months and change things....I wish that with all my heart!

Please pray for Selah!!!!!!

Day 102 Fish Oil Study ~ Happy Valentine's Day

It's 10:30 pm and I'm sitting here waiting for the ambulance to deliver Selah home:)   What a busy day we left the hospital about 6ish "right" before the ambulance was leaving....well.....  it didn't get there until 10 pm!  She is doing great and finally had a diagnosis.  of some sort of something in her poop.  And they do think that she had a cut in her stomach either from all the moving of the gtube or from all the heaving when she threw up.  Anyhow she has responded well and they feel everything is under control.  Whatever she was diagnosed with could have been in her system for a long time.  It was nothing I'd ever heard of before and can't remember what it was.  She will be on antibiotics for a couple of weeks and she has been changed from Xantac to Prevacite.

Finally got Steve and Shad to the dentist!  Steve had to have major work done on his braces and now has bands.  Shad had to have a tooth pulled!  Thankfully it was a baby tooth!

I have lots of thoughts about Valentine's Day...but I'm almost too tired to share them LOL

I'm not a roses and card type of girl.  To me that is such a waste...buy me a few plants for my garden and take me out to eat and I'm happy.  I certainly don't need jewelry or diamonds....that just doesn't appeal to me!  I'd be too worried about losing it or having a kid grab it and break it!  I'd slap someone if they bought me a fur coat....  I guess I'm pretty simple.  Today my husband got up early worked from 8 am to 10 pm to make up the hours he'd used when he stayed in the hospital with Selah Monday and Tues to give me a break....  To me that speaks LOVE.....  No we didn't go out to eat I did have Chinese pick up waiting for him when he got home.  We didnt' get each other cards we haven't had the time to even go to the store these past week.  We'll go out sometime this weekend to eat (maybe-and probably with the kids)  We're not going to have a "romantic night" no we have 2 nurses here and a daughter just being released from the hospital)  But this is real LOVE....not the kind you see in Hollywood or really even the kind you think about as a young person but it is LOVE.

Love is not picture perfect, it is real life, where the "rubber meets the road"  It is commitment when you might feel like running away 

I've learned what LOVE is....it took me a few years but I'm thankful I have a real LOVE in my life and I wish the same for you.  See I watch my husband giving eye drops to Sam or changing Sarah or staying up all night in the ER with Selah and I know that is a committed LOVE.  He ain't with me because of  just from what he gets out of the relationship.  And I know he'll be there for me if I need him.   I thank God for that kind of love in my life. 

I'm not a "hottie" but every now and then when I'm alone (LOL) in public I get hit on....I'm not alone much in public but I've laughed right in guys' faces when they hit on me.  Once I was waiting for our pizza order at a Hungry Howie's a guy asked me "Are you looking for a bad boy?"  After I finished laughing  in his face I told him "no I have THREE of them waiting for me at home"  I also told him that he needed to look at the left hand to see if a woman had a ring on before he asked dumb questions like that at a Hungry Howie's LOL!  I also told him he needed to get right with God and he told me he went to church I said "probably not often enough!"   

My point in telling you this story(besides a good laugh)  is to just let you know that if you are single, don't settle for a cheap pick up line or for someone who just has a relationship with you to meet their needs.  find a good man or woman who has real love to share freely with you with NO games involved!  I've dated game players and I don't know about you but that got old quick!  If you are in a relationship that you can not trust the person or his/her motives.....RUN away as fast you can!    Having lived to be in my late 40's I've learned alot and seen so many people have heartaches that could have been avoided.  I could have avoided some heart aches in my life but I was stupid....

So Happy Valentine's Day to y'all!  I hope and pray that you have or will have a true love who will be with you in thick and thin!  Don't settle for less!

Well since I started this night's blog, Selah arrived very upset but I held her and cuddled with her for awhile and she calmed down.  Sometimes holding her completely is too much for her so I knelt by the bed and cuddled her head and talked to her.  She calmed down immediately!  Her heart rate dropped to the 100's )now in the 80-90's since she is asleep  and her blood pressure went from crazy high 163/89 to a normal 115/72.   She was given her meds during the time I was holding her but they don't work that fast:) 

So on this nice rainy night I'm thankful that all the Clantons (ans a nurse) are under the same roof tonight!

Day 101 Fish Oil Study ~cute pictures

Well today is officially 101 days since Selah started the Fish Oil Study, I took it to her today since she is back on her her feeds.  I have to say St Joe's have won my heart this time around.  They were amazing about the fish oil study and went out of there way to make sure it was put in the right place ( the fish oil has to be in the freezer)  What a difference from the rehab hospital, who could have cared less about the study!  This time in St Joe's Selah was on the regular floor instead of the new wing and the care has been wonderful.  If one of us is not there, they call us about everything, I really like that!

She had a tiny fever today but if everything goes ok she will be home tomorrow!  She looks great and was relaxed.  Still no answer about what was the problem but I think it goes back to the changing of the gtube...  

 

Here is our girl, she was busy watching the light/water machine they'd brought it.  It is a sensory toy that has a column of water with different light colors on the bottom, it changes colors to classical music, this one happened to have mirrors and it seemed like there were 3 of them.  I LOVE it!  So did Sam and Sarah

 

 

 

Sarah immediately reached out for it when I put her near it

 

 

I LOVE this picture of Sam and the light

 

They both were touching it

 

Sam basically stood there for 2 hours and held it!  He was enthralled....Look at Shad, he and Sam are both 9 yrs old now...he is a head taller than Sam!

 

 

So if any one has a spare one of these send it my way!  My kids love it!!!  I had looked at one in a magazine and it was over $1000...if  Extreme Home Make Over ever comes to my door, they need to have one of these with them!!

 

 

Here are some pictures from yesterday.  The kids at the dentist office watching a movie, I just love this picture of Sarah:)  Sam had Steve's Ipod:)  he is so cool

 

 

Look at my big girl sitting up with a ribbon in her hair!  Big difference from that tiny little weak girl I met 9 months ago!

 

 

So pray for Lala that she is completely well and can come home.  We miss her!  And please continue praying for her healing.  I pray throughout the day that God will heal her mind and bring her back to us.  You have no idea how many times throughout the day I pray that....it's always on my mind no matter what I'm doing.  

 

I want to give a big thank you to Andrea who mailed me her sweet daughter's bath seat!  Her little girl passed away recently but she wanted to bless another family.  I can't wait to get Selah home and give her a bath in it.  I may post a picture:)  With a towel cover up so you can see how much easier it will make things for us!  What a blessing that was to us!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Update on Selah ~ thoughts on "The Boy From Baby House #10"

Selah has improved.  She is holding down her meds and they will be starting her feeds tonight.  This morning Sarah had a dental appointment right near St Joe's.  Her appointment went good and she has no cavities, the pain she seems to be experiencing is her 6 year old molars coming in right on schedule:)   The dentist was amazed at her teeth as they are in much better shape than most children adopted from overseas. 

We then went and saw Selah and picked Jon up.  He needed to go into work today.  She was calm, asleep and had perfect stats!  It's hard for me that one of us can't be there most of the time but she is in the regular pod and her room is just a few feet away from the nurses' station.  The plan is for her to be given the feeds slowly to make sure everything is ok.  She did not test positive for anything at all and none of us are sick.  The doctor I spoke to earlier feels she did have a small tear in her stomach, but she felt it was from all the gagging she did, not that the tear caused all the throwing up....  I don't know but it seems like too big of a coincidence that it happened when her gtube was messed with....it's so frustrating!

The doctors and nurses have called several times today to ask questions and i liked that!  She had a small storming episode and I think it's because she hasn't had her fish oil since Saturday. 

She is expected to come home in the next few days.  We are spread thin at this point as Jon really needs to be at work and I'm not comfortable leaving the kids for hours at a time.  We are going to go up there every day as much as possible.  Today's visit  went good, there was a volunteer singing in the lobby and that kept Sam and Sarah 100% occupied!  Steve and Shad have dentist appointments on Thursday, poor Steve hasn't had his braces adjusted since early August.  I'm sure he will need to wear them longer. 

Last night I reread the book "The Boy From Baby House # 10"  It is a book about a boy with CP who is left in a baby house from hell in Moscow.  Things get worse as he is transferred at 4 years of age to the "internat" what many Eastern Europe countries call "adult mental institutions"   He and some people who miraculously came into his life tell his story.  It is shocking.  I read this book a few years ago never knowing I'd adopt two daughters from an "internat"  Ukraine's government is set up almost similar to Russia's as it was of course a part of the USSR for many decades.  It still runs that way.  The book just grabs me, if Sarah and Selah could talk, some of these stories and experiences would certainly be theirs also. 

The only thing that really bothered me in the book is how many times it is expressed that this child should not have gone there because he had "normal" mental abilities.  Of course they are not saying any child should be there but...they keep stressing how different he was compared to the others and that bothers me!  I don't think any child or adult should be in those horrible situations!  I know the author ddn't mean that either but it just came across a little bit like that. 

But all in all, I encourage you to read this.  It's real, believe me it is real.  I've stayed quiet publicly about many of the things I saw when we were there visiting the girls.  It was rough.  But I do take into account the poorness of the community. I never got the impression that anyone was being mean, just not involved or interested and "this was how things were done"   Believe me I got angry, very angry at times....  Things have changed, all the little ones like Sarah and Selah have been moved to orphanages instead of living in the same facility as adults.  Are the orphanages any better?  I don't know....it is a hard situation....  the best thing is to adopt these kids out of the situation!!!!

Look at little Sasha, adopted one year ago...see the difference???  This is a real child, a year ago he was in the "internat" dying....

 

he is included in this video of a real orphange  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cs42-5HnQRQ

watch it if you dare to be challenged.

 

This all is real folks, you can't shut your eyes to it. 

 

Listen on the day we stand before God, I believe He will ask us what we did for "the least of them"   He won't say "Well that's ok, that was the Clantons's calling...."   He won't tell you that James 1:27 doesn't apply to you also as a Christian!    I've actually had people tell me that orphans were "our calling" "our ministry"...ummm the last time I checked in the many scriptures that talk about orphan care in the Bible not one time did it say "this is for the Clantons only"  Nope....not seeing that!

 

 

 

 

I'm not saying everyone has to adopt, some children are unadoptable for legal reasons but we can be involved in many many ways.  But the thing is we should be involved!  You can adopt, you can give to other families that are adopting, you can give to ministries that help orphans I know of one I recommend http://www.life2orphans.org/cms/ their website is a bit outdated but I know what they are doing first hand and it is wonderful.   The thing is, do as much as you can!!!!

 

Should God heal Selah, we would adopt again.  How could we not?  We had planned to possibly start the process to adopt three children we met while in Ukraine.  Then the accident happened and of course we can not do that now.  One of the children we felt drawn to, just got adopted today!  We are so thankful that he has a family!!!  Now there are two others who need famileis!!!

 

 

this is Sally....I loved her from the second I saw her tied to her bed around the waist.  She is 8 yrs old an the size of a 2 yr old

this is Silas  he loved Jon and went right to him if he was brought out.  this picture doesn't do him justice.  he was such a sweet boy.

 

So these two children who touched our hearts are still waiting for families...we may never be able to go back for them.  Will you pray that a family will come forward?  As much as I'd love for them to be in our family, I know at this time it's not possible and I'd love to see them adopted.

 

Thank you for your prayers for Selah also!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Selah update and Happy Birthday Sam!

Selah is out of ICU.  Thanks for the comments.  She was xrayed a few times and she did have lots of poop but no obstruction.  There seems to be no cuts or anything to cause blood in her stomach from the xray.  Several of you made the same comment I did about the brown gritty looking puke....the doctor told us that after two xrays everything looked fine and there are times when someone throws up so much they get that kind of gunk coming out.  She is in a regular room and as soon as she got in there her heart rate went from the 150s to the 120s and now they've given her all her meds too so hopefully it will all come down to normal.    I talked to the gastro and begged her to put in her normal gtube and she did since we had a new one there.  Jon said Selah didn't grimace when it was changed out so that relieved me some.  She will let you know if something hurts or if she doesn't like something.  They are probably going to try and start her feeds tonight and we'll see how things go.

Tomorrow Sarah has an emergency dental appointment right by St Joe's and I'll pick up Jon after the appointment and he may go to work tomorrow.  Who knows Selah might come home.

 yes we got him a cake....NO he does not eat cake!  IN fact Sam does not eat anything sweet at all except for oranges, grapes and bananas!   acts like cake or ice cream is poison...but we helped him out!

 Sam loves to get things out of bags!

 He's going for it!!!

 Pure JOY!

He got it:)

Today was Sam's 9th birthday...hard to believe that little guy that has so changed my life is 9 years old..... I adore him with all of my heart and today I was so very very thankful to be able to celebrate his 9th birthday!  Thank God for preserving his life yet again for us!  We got pizza for lunch and he was very happy.

I read an article on line today about a woman who recently found out that her 33 week old fetus had some sort of abnormality.  She and her husband decided to abort the child.  Because of the abortion, something happened and the woman died last week.  There was an obituary for her and the child.   The posts following the article were interesting.  Evidently this woman had a gift registry for the child, a little girl and a book that we have "I"ll love you forever" had already been purchased by someone for this child.  I couldn't help but think, I guess the "I'll love you forever " part was only good IF the child was perfect....  OH my God.....it just makes me sick to think of a 33 week old fetus being killed!  Sam was born at 32 weeks!!!!!   Our world is crazy, this woman was a "person of faith" according to the obit....   I can't help but wonder, who counseled this woman....  who had she let speak into her life?  We as Christians should have a high standard of respect for life!  We should share that standard AND when and if the time ever comes, we should walk out that standard in our own lives!

I think of a friend, another pastor's wife, a friend....she and her husband found out their greatly wanted, cherished little girl had very little of her brain formed....  They stood strong and with great love and respect, carried little Molly to term, loving her every second of her life and holding her as she took her last breath....  She surprised everyone and lived a few hours, every minute of that life was lived surrounded by love.  Was it hard for my friends?  YES but when they are reunited with their little Molly, what a day of pure rejoicing that will be. I don't know how heaven is going to be and what age we all will be...but I know the bible says in 1 Corinthians 13 that "we shall know as we are also known"  which gives the idea that we will know people when we get to heaven.  But when they are reunited with Molly, there will be no regrets...what a testimony.


So that article made me start thinking.....about Sam and how his little life led us to adopt Shad, Sarah and Selah.  Sam changed my life completely!  Some years before I had Sam, I was so depressed and driving on my way to work and not in a good place spiritually at all...but yet my heart cried out to God...not for a child but just for HELP!  And I heard God's voice!  I don't mean I specifically heard an audible voice...but God spoke to my heart - maybe it was audible  I was alone in the car....and He said "You will have a son named Samuel and he will change your life"  Well I was NOT looking to have a child but I kept that in my heart so a few years later when I got pregnant, I knew it would be my Samuel....and it was!  And boy did he change my life:)

Would I have chosen for my son to be blind and have mental delays??  Of course NOT, I wanted my life easy, I wanted his life easy....but...it happened....  I, of course believe that things just happen and God is there to walk us through those things if we chose to let Him.  I don't think He causes bad things to happen nor do I think the devil is working hard against us (boy if I believe that...I'd think I was #1 on the devil's hit list!!)   I think we live in a fallen world and things happen.  I also do not think God is a heavenly Genie that will make life suddenly become what we want it to be....  But I do know the bible says God will cause ALL things to work for our good.    

So as I'm "preaching" to you tonight...I'm also preaching to myself.  I'm at the point with Selah's situation that I am overwhelmed and my heart is so heavy.  I do not know how we are going to live the rest of our lives like this.  I don't want this for her or for me!  But I've been at this point before in my life.  And that situation did not change BUT I changed.

I can remember just crying so many times in those first few months thinking "My God how will we make it????" "How will we raise a blind child?"  At that point we didn't even know about his mental delays and I was overwhelmed.  I was so scared BUT just like now, I loved him so much.  I didn't know HOW we were going to do it and the future looked so bleak and dark.....  But we put one foot in front of the other, and we loved him with everything within us and we made it.

Now there are still times when the responsibility of raising a "forever child" floods over me...now times THREE (even before the accident) but there is a peace.  Of course the accident changed things so much and took everything up about a million notches!!

So I find myself in that same place  as I was when Sam was little.  Today I had to go inside the bank.  I had gone there so many times while we were in the process of adopting and had taken the girls in to meet the ladies who had helped me so many times...  This was the first time I had been back in since the accident.  Everyone came and spoke to me and I held the tears in till I was going out the door.  An older man was coming in and he probably wondered why I came out of the bank crying.... but I thought my heart would just break into.  I keep thinking back to this time of year... we found out about Selah on February 13th, just two days away from a year ago....  We were anxiously awaiting the travel date and our hearts were filled with anticipation .  It was the exact same kind of weather as it is now... everything brings me back to that time and how special it was.  I could not believe I was going to be the mom of two little girls!  After all these years with just boys....now those memories just break my heart into hundreds of pieces.

So I don't know how we are going to walk out the rest of our lives or even the next few months.  It feels the same as when we had Sam.  But we love Selah and are just as committed to her as we were to Sam.  We were scared but we were going to do whatever we had to do to take care of him.  We feel the same about Selah... But I don't know how we are going to do it, just like I didn't know how we were going to do it with Sam but we did.   Things are harder, life is much more complicated but I have learned to trust God in difficult times much more than I knew then.

So back to Sam, the little tiny boy who changed my life forever....I thank God for him!  I love my funny little one of a kind boy so much.  I feel so blessed to have him as my son!  His birth nine years ago turned our world upside down and right side up....

This picture is of us on Easter '04, Sam was about 2 months old, probably not even to his due date yet and Steve was 8.5 yrs old.  (and that is still one of my favorite dresses LOL)

So we ask for prayer for Selah.  Prayer that she will recover quickly from whatever is going on (we still have no answers)   Prayer that God will be gracious and merciful and do a healing to bring her back to where she was cognitively.  Prayer that God will give us the strength and the fortitude to do all we need to take care of all of our children. I think we all need some fortitude in our lives to do the right things.... I also ask for prayer for the Wiley family as our friend Ray is laid to rest tomorrow.....

Thank you for all your prayers and sweet comments, they really do mean so much to me!

Selah update

Selah is in the ICU.  She is stable now.  they did xrays and she did not aspirate into her lungs which is a miracle with all the throwing up she did!    Still no answer to what caused all the throwing up.  They ran a bunch of tests and we ae still waiting to hear what they think is going on.

She is on IVs and has had a wet diaper so that is good.  Jon said she slept with one eye opened last night LOL  THAT is Selah!  She did that whenever she was in a new circumstance:)  She did it the first night with us.  To me that shows the spark of Selah:)

Her oxygen level is good but her heart rate is still high.  She has not had all her meds which is bothering me.  Jon is with her and he is asking for the doctor now to get that all figured out.

On top of everything last night some guy comes up to our fence and started yelling. He seemed to be asking how far to town.  We have a BIG dog so the guy wouldn't come in the fence We live out in the country.  I have no idea what was going on with him but I called the cops (and several neighbors- they all like to target practice around here!!)  .  And I got out my trusty pistol!  Made me feel alot better.  I'll tell you a secret I'm an absolute fraidy cat at night if I'm by myself!  I think it's because I'm such a sound sleeper and I have this fear of waking up with someone in the house.  I'm so brave when I'm up  but not at night.  So this is the first time I've been the only adult in my house at night. It helps that Steve is bigger than me LOL  This was one night I let them stay up and play video games LOL 

I'm so glad for my husband going over with her.  I feel at the end of myself and just didn't think I could handle being at the hospital with her without someone going to jail....   I hate to say it but I knew that it would be like this....a bunch of different doctors saying different things. not continuity of care...so very different than Strongs.  I'm a Southerner but I can tell you that health care in Florida is not the same kind of health care you will get up north (for the most part)   I'm not saying there are not bad situations other places but Florida is not a place you want to be sick in.  We learned that with Sam.  Now we have doctors we trust here but once you go to the hospital, who knows what will happen.  We saw such difference in NY and that's why we made the sacrifice to go up to NY for all of Sam's follow up care for his eyes, there was such a difference over all.  Not just is our doctor amazing but the whole team approach was so good and reassuring.  Just talking to my husband on the phone made me angry that they hadn't yet addressed her high heart rate issue.  The nurse said that her meds can't be given through the gtube with her being sick....DUH!  But I said they needed to call pharmacy and get the same type of meds (different names) that can be given in the IV....not rocket science......  She said the doctor didn't want to change the meds she has been given.....I have a call into him right now.   She was on meds after the accident (before the gtube) for these issues and I know that she can be given them by IV.  So annoying.....  Health care needs to be about the patient and meeting the patent's needs and dealing with the underlying issues.  I'm worried that Selah will start storming like she did last night. 

Please keep Selah in your prayers.  She has been so stable, I really feel this all has to do with the whole gtube issue from last week.  She may have a little bug none of us are sick, she hasn't been around anyone other than we went to the doctor's office but we stayed in a hallway with her and she stayed on her gurney or wheelchair.  They didn't even move her onto their gurney in the exam room.  I don't even think a child passed by her and certainly no one touched or.  So since she has had little exposure to anyone, I think it comes back to the gtube......which makes me upset that she had to endure anything else! 

Please pray for Selah she is very sick!

Selah is very sick ~ had to call the ambulance. She couldn't keep any of her meds down and then had dark gritty stuff coming out of her mouth maybe her trach too...her oxygen stats are down and her heart rate is high. Jon went with her to St Joe's in Tampa Please pray!!! As they left they asked about a DNR order!!!! scared the crap out of me!

Please pray for her, I think it is either a bug or there is an issue with the gtube.  When it was replaced with the other tubing, the doctor put it in deep.  When we saw gastro on Friday that doctor pulled some of it out.  Every doctor it seems tries to cut down the last one and say how that one did someonthing wrong...who knows.   Since then we've had issues with a bit of a spit up and today it has progressively gotten worse. 
I'm scared and angry that someone messed up something in her gtube.....

The EMTs were ones who had come on time for Sam and on the way out of town, they picked up a guy from our church who is an EMT.  That was reassuring!!!

Day 97 Fish Oil Study

Selah had a good day again.  Starting last night, she has seemed more active.  "She is moving her head around more and seeming to pay attention more.  Our Sat/Sun nurse hadn't seen her since last weekend and he immediately commented on the change!  YEAH!  I love to hear things like that!    At the same time she seems a bit more agitated.  But that is not a bad thing in reading over coma recovery.  Her heart rate has just stayed up a little higher than normal. 

He suggested getting her a mobile (like you put over a crib) I went and got one but it won't fit the railing on the hospital bed.  I also got a "princess" chair for her that gives her back support but makes her hold her head up more.  I'll take pictures tomorrow. 

I went for a massage today and to the library (my favorite place in the world!)  I love libraries.  For me a Nook or a Kindle will NEVER be the same as a book.  I have no desire for any of those new fangled things LOL  Give me a good book and leave me alone and I"m happy!

So a quick update tonight, more tomorrow and hopefully some more pictures!

Please keep praying for Selah, we feel like we are seeing glimpses of SELAH again.  That was gone during the time we were at the rehab.  She went back inside herself but now she is home, there are so many little changes.  She has remained flexible although tonight she is tighter and seems mad but it is in her arms which have had full range of motion so I'm not too worried, I think she is just upset some. 

The lady who did my massage is coming next week to do one for Selah if it is ok with the doctor.  I think that will be good for her.