Day 126 Fish Oil study Pictures:)

 

Selah in her new outfit...in bed!  She had a rough night, just seemed to be in pain or agaited with the casts from about 3 am on.  The nurse got her up this morning and she stayed up in her wheelchair for about 2 hours but started making her "I don't like face" in church so she went home and was happy and calm once she got back in bed.  I know the next three weeks are going to be hard for her with the casts.  She hated shoes, I can't imagine how she feels about the casts.  We have to keep her moving some but it's hard when she gets upset. 

 

 

This is Selah last night before she got upset.  Could she be any cuter?  I think she is just such a sweet doll.  We actually worked with her with a pacifier yesterday and today.  She did hold it in her mouth some.  At one point we thought she might have sucked on it, but we are working on it as it seems to strengthen her tongue muscles just having it in her mouth.   We will try anything to encourage her in any area!  I have NEVER bought a pacifier for any of my kids so I didn't even know what kind to buy.  There are actually ones made for kids up to 3 years old....geez!  Well now I have bought one and hopefully it will encourage sucking/swallowing:) 

 

 

 

 

 

Steve put Sarah in a box yesterday and we wrote on it From: Ukraine:)   She loved being in the box!

 

 

Look at her sweet smile!  Sarah smiles so much.  She just loves our attention.  What we are noticing is she really only wants me, Jon or sometimes Steve.  She has no issues with correct attachment to her family.  Sometimes I think maybe just maybe she had a good caregiver, someone who loved her when she was in the baby house.  She was not treated very good at the institution and her caregiver could hardly stand to touch her.  I don't know how Sarah turned out so very normal emotionally....yes she is mentally and physically delayed but emotionally she is so very normal.  It's a mystery to us how she escaped from hell with so few scars on her emotions.  Sarah is not even as tactile defensive as our biological son Sam.  It took years of therapy and me working with him before he could tolerate much touch and obviously he was with us since birth.  Most kids who are blind are very tactile defensive, but not Ms Sarah!   Selah did not escape emotionally untouched.  .  She has been diagnosed with institutional autism, prior to the accident.  Selah escaped away in her mind....She was just starting some healing when the accident happened.  I think Sarah was just on the edge of becoming like that when we came.  She was very weak physically and had not been given any time out of bed.  The first few days she didn't want much touch, after that she was all about us holding her.  She would just lay in my arms and try to focus on my face with her little eye.  There were a few days we couldn't go in and see them and Sarah would be mad the next time we came.  I truly believe that in her own little way she cried out to God and God worked in supernatural ways to have me see her picture and then be so moved that I couldn't sleep.  Sometimes she makes these Sweet little happy sighs when I'm holding her and it just makes me want to cry, knowing some  of the things she endured for all those years.....

 

 

 

Sarah after church today with Ziggy.  He and his wife Anita have an amazing story of fleeing East Germany in the 1960's!   We love having them down during the winter and we love to hear them sing:)  They are my favorite East Germans/West Germans/Canadians/ Snowbirds!! 

 

 

Please keep praying for Selah she still has 3 weeks left to be in casts.  I really don't think she is in alot of pain as much as the casts just bother her.  I had three foot surgeries last summer and one that was very deep to relieve nerve pain (too much walking)  after the surgery, I had very little pain.  Her surgery was more surface level, so that's why we think it is just the casts based on my pain level.  I hope that is it at least.  It hurts me to see her upset but I am so very thankful that I can tell when she is upset.  She makes a FACE and even will cry sometimes.  I'm thankful that she can show all that emotion. 

 

Day 125 Fish Oil study

Selah had a good night and today has been great.  She is obviously uncomfortable if she is moved around much but she sat up some in her chair and she sat in the new wheelchair some.  I will take pictures tomorrow.  She is really calm, of course she is on some stronger pain meds. 

We've been working outside all day.  Steve and Shad did a good job.  Steve and a guy from our church mowed the yard.  Then the boys mulched all of the church flower beds.  They also worked some on our garden and now we've just finished cleaning the church. 

I'm feeling like life is overwhelming again as I have so many things "to do"  Every time I start something I get interrupted a hundred times and then I am too overwhelmed to finish....  I HATE being like this!!!!  It's not me and I know it is a sign of stress.  I have a big bag of letters/paperwork to do, coupled with the things I do for the church, cleaning my house and trying to be organized as much as possible is just freaking me out at this point.  It's like everything has 25 steps to do to finish it..... I NEED help!  But then again most of the things, I can only do myself.....but there are some things I going to start asking for help with, like things at the church.   There are so many things I need to get done in the next week or so.....

Thanks for your prayers for Selah....please continue praying that she will stay comfortable as she heals. 

Day 124 Fish Oil Study

Thank God another peaceful day.  She was up in her chair for a few hours with her feet on a foot stool and she did good.  She is rather out of it with the drugs but peaceful.  I worry about her regressing but I think once she heals and the casts are off, being able to weight bear on her feet and all the wonderful things her therapists has for her will make up for the time she is losing this month. 

I love to take care of her.  It does bring me a sense of peace to meet her needs and love her in a tangible way.  Through the past 7 months,  I've had to share her care with so many others and even tho she needs alot of care, I'm happy to give that to her at night.  I'm so glad we stopped having night nursing LOL  Who'd ever thought I'd ask to lose night nursing after fighting so hard for it?  But it is easy enough, even on the more challenging nights to take care of her and just be a family. 

I love Selah so much, sometimes my heart just bursts inside of me.  I HATE that the accident happened and changed our lives but I will always love and care for her.  I think we are more committed to her than we were on the day we adopted her, if that makes any sense.   We almost gave her the middle name of Jewel and now I really wished we had!  She is like a jewel...before she was hidden away and no one knew about her.  She wasn't one of the "poster kids" no one had her picture but God never forgot her.  Now she is our daughter and we will always love and care for her.  We promised to give her a family "no matter what" and now we have faced the "no matter what" and we are committed to loving her and taking care of her.   We would have never ever chosen for this terrible accident to happen to her....but we will still give her a family and the best life possible.  We will never stop praying for her nor will we ever stop trying to find ways to help her medically!!!  I believe God gives doctors wisdom to treat people and just like with Sam there was ONE doctor who could help him....maybe there will be ONE doctor that can help Selah!  I will never stop trying.  We believe the fish oil has helped her and we are hopeful as we are right at the 4 month mark that after this month is done (with the casts) and we can back off the meds again that we will see some more cognitive and physical improvement. 

I really want to look into HBOT therapy but it is expensive.  We will see....right now I want to get her through this month.   I need to do some paperwork and enroll her in some different programs and school (home bound) then I'm going to look in earnest at HBOT therapy.  I'm pretty good at finding granst and things like that.  I don't think either of our insurances would pay for it.  I did fill out one grant already but haven't heard back from it....

 

Today we got a loaner wheelchair for Selah (although Sarah was trying it out and liked it)  There is a ministy here that helps adoptive and foster families and a friend had put me in contact with them.   This wheelchair is one I'd looked at before years ago for Sam but then we went with a really nice jogging stroller called a BOB.  BOBs are expensive but not as expensive and they are easier to fold up.  Our nurse thinks this will work better for Selah once she is up.  So we gave them our old  BOB since the company had been so kind as to send us a replacement double one after the accident and a new single one too.  (someone contacted them for us)  Right after the accident, I wouldn't even use a stroller and I'd carry Sarah everywhere (she doesn't walk at all)  and we made Sam walk more (which he hated)   But now I'm ok for the most part with it.  I've told myself that if you have a car accident, that doesn't mean you never ride in a car again....  We are just extremely safety conscious ...which we were always but in a way now that is probably bordering on neurotic, if you hadn't gone through what we have gone through.    

  Selah has been measured for a wheelchair but it is taking so long,   The nice thing was I had gone through all the girls and Sam's things and was able to give them a car load of things including some diapers that the kids had grown too big for that I had stored up.   I love cleaning out closets and drawers...I'm the exact opposite of a hoarder...but I do stock up on things if I have coupons.  BUT if it hasn't been used in 6 months (unless it is canned food) it is GONE! 

Please continue to keep Selah in your prayers that she will heal quickly and tolerate the casts. Thank you!


http://kacirek.blogspot.com/2013/03/i-waited-long-time-going-deeper.html  I want to leave you with this blog to read.  It is a family who is adopting two children that both were in the same institution as our girls.  The boy has major medical issues but is not as delayed as our girls are mentally.  He spent a lot of time with us when he was out of bed.  He would tell us "Good morning" in a very serious tone and you could tell by the look on his face that he wished he had a family there too!  Well now he does and this blog is written so beautifully.  Just makes me happy/sad...happy that he has a family...sad that he waited so many years but now he will never be alone again!    This mom also is the director of Grace Haven Ministies that has a grant in place for the sweet "Sally" http://myreallifebyyvonne.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-106-fos-sally-has-family.html  If you can give towards her adoption I would be happy happy happy!   (yes I love Duck Dynasty)   Sally has a family coming for her:)  I LOVE to see children being plucked out of the darkness and loneliness of a orphanage to be loved and in a family!!!!  And it is even more precious when I know the children myself! 

Day 123 Fish Oil Study

Selah had a perfect night and I got to sleep too:)  She has been comfortable most of the day and has tolerated it when the nurse moved her around.  We are so thankful that she is doing as good as she is!  

Today I cleaned out the little kids stuff, as you know with little ones it is a never ending job.  I made myself go through the girls' clothes.  I feel so cheated with Selah, she went from a tiny girl in August wearing size 3 toddler clothes to a big girl wearing size 6/7 clothes.  It's not just that she will never be able to wear the cute little clothes I had for her...it's just every outfit has a memory for me.  I did dress the girls alike sometimes but they are different and Selah liked more girly clothes and would look at herself in my big mirror and pat her clothes....  I can't give any of those special clothes away.  I hadn't been able to do the closet cleaning until today.  Tomorrow I'm meeting with a lady who has a ministry to foster care kids and adoptive families.  They are giving us a nice wheelchair to use and I am giving them a bunch of things.  BOB strollers sent us a brand new double BOB and a new single one too so I'm giving away my original BOB.  So I wanted to donate alot of clothes as the girls grew so much while we were away.  Sarah grew too but it's not as hard going through her things.  I guess because everything with Selah is so poignant.  I was very sad going through things....  I'm not one to be really sentimental over "things" especially clothes but I just held some of them in my arms today and fought back tears.....

This afternoon I finally took Sam to buy a new pair of shoes and Shad ended up with one too even though that wasn't planned.  LOL  Shad has a way....   I bought Selah a few more big girl outfits that she can wear while she has casts on.  She is going to be so cute in them.   I have to look towards the future and focus on NOW or it hurts too much.



Here is Sarah after her bath and blow dry tonight:)  I finally got her pig tails up good:)

 

She usually smiles but she was very serious.  She how she is holding her hands, Jon taught her to do that:)  She is SUCH a daddy's girl.  He was holding her the other night ( as usual) and she wouldn't let me pick her up!  She clenched her fists to her side and made a squawk:)  It was cute. 

 

 

 

And in other news, Sam has a Loose tooth!!!  Part of Sam's anomaly is that he physically matures so very very slow.  Even slower than most kids do with Peter's Anomaly.  He just turned 9 years old and has never had a loose tooth.  He didn't get a tooth until he was almost 2 years old and he got his bottom 2 teeth.  His dentist was amazed and still is....we saw him last summer and Sam got xrays and the dentist said that Sam's mouth looked like one of a 4 year old.  It is very odd and interesting.  We assume that everything will be much later, puberty too thank God.  Sam is being studied to see if he has something unique that actually "slows down" his physical development.  Like he has been drinking from the Fountain of Youth:) 

 

 

It's the tooth that is back a little in his mouth

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life seems so unreal to me.  We are dealing with so much every single day and yet life still goes on.  We try to make our life as normal as possible for our other 4 kids.  Sure things are very different but we try to balance things.  Selah has a nurse and her own separate room now but the kids all drift in and out and have gotten to know and like our nurses.  We've just incorporated things into our lives without making too big of a deal about stuff. 

 

I can remember when I was a young girl about 12 years old and my uncle was dying.  Everything was done so mysterious and secretive.  My whole life was turned upside down but no one even thought to think of how things were affecting me.  Me?  I just shook...that's how I handle stress is I start shaking from the inside out.  Obviously our case is different but we try to make things seem NORMAL for the kids.  I really don't think they've been affected in a bad way through all of this.  Between God's grace and the love of so many towards them and our attempts to stay calm with them even at the worst of times, they've done well, thank God.   Sometimes I don't want to do "regular" family things like go see a movie or go out to eat but I have to remember it is their lives too and they have to have the same stability as they did before.  If it were up to me, most days I'd just sit and hold Selah or sit by her bed and watch her numbers....but that's not the best for everyone else and Selah might get a bit tired of me too.  It's a balancing act, this is our NEW normal and it's not going to change outside a mighty miracle.  But I still have 4 more kids who need attention and care and normalcy. 

 

I have to brag on all of them, they have handled everything with grace!  Steve and Shad have been just wonderful through it all.  I can't say enough good about them.  I appreciate the two of them, both are mature far beyond their years when it comes to handling crises.  And even Sarah and Sam have done remarkably!  Sarah having just been adopted herself and dealing with all the change, just learned to go with the flow and still attached to us beautifully despite living in a Ronald McDonald House for 4 months and Jon and I being back and to to the hospital.  She is an amazing little girl!  She likes everyone but she LOVEs me and Jon.  I don't know how much she understands but there is no doubt she knows we are mommy and daddy.  Sam has matured so much.  He went from being "the pet of the family" and the baby to living in another  country for 6 weeks and handling all the travel with aplomb!  Then he did great with the girls and enjoyed them from the get go!  Then he dealt with his being in the accident with Selah and recovered without any emotional issues.  He also handled staying at the RMH and all the back and to very well.  Everyone tells me how he has matured during all of this.  He is very delayed but it seems like he has just really made some efforts.  He has more patience if we don't do "hop to his demands" (usually about food LOL)  He will even sit in a restaurant and not get upset waiting for his food.  That is really big maturity for him. 

 

Please keep praying for Selah to heal physically and mentally....I'm really missing my little Selah tonight since I can't really even hold her much right now.  Pray that she stays comfortable and that this time will just pass as quickly as possible and soon she'll be out of her casts. 

Selah's home! God protected us today!

 

Selah dressed and ready to go home!

 

Selah is safely home and asleep.  She had a good night last night thank God and seems to be doing good now.  Since she has large casts on her legs I had to go buy her some new clothes today.  She had already outgrown just about everything we had gotten before the accident.  All of the new things I've gotten her were shirts/shorter dresses and leggings.   She won't be wearing leggings right now so I found her some longer dresses at Old Navy.  I found the cutest dress at a thrift store from Old Navy and I tried there this morning hoping they'd have something else like that and they did.  Doesn't she look sweet?  Although she was not too happy with me when i took that picture, we'd just given her a bed bath and shampoo.  She sticks her tongue out when she is upset.  Other than that she has learned how to keep her tongue in most of the time. 

 

Shad went with me to pick her up so he could sit with her in the back and watch her as I drove home.  I have come a LONG way in the past 8 weeks!!!  In the beginning I wouldn't transport her unless she was in an ambulance LOL!  Traffic was terrible and very slow on I-275 north until we got up aways and then everyone sped up.  All of a sudden traffic skidded to a stop, right in front of me and cars were going off the side of the road.  I didn't know what had happened but knew it was bad and knew we were about to have a very bad wreck!  I screamed "Jesus help me" and basically STOOD on my brake to stop the van.  I was able to stop inches from the back bumper of a SUV.   A vehicle ( I couldn't tell what it was but a bigger one) about three cars in front of me had blown a tire, went across the road and landed in the woods upside down on some trees.  I think someone was thrown from the car.  It was awful!   I couldnt' stop to help since I had Selah in the car but many people did stop.  It is a miracle there wasn't a big pile up involving dozens of cars.  I was fighting tears as I doubt the person(s) lived that were involved in the accident.  I was very thankful that we were spared and I know our brakes work great.  My legs were still shaking when I got home about 30 minutes later.  Also on the way home, there was a forest fire and I had to drive through deep smoke with ash raining down...it was an adventurous ride home today!

 

(this was in Pasco Co between Wesley Chapel and Zephyrhills)  Not near my house at all

 

So after a long day, I'm glad we are all under one roof once again.  Selah seems peaceful and not too stressed, although her heart rate is like 110-115 while sleeping which is too high but not awfully bad.  I'm hoping she will sleep tonight as I am worn out and want to sleep too:)

 

Today the reality of how just a few seconds can change your life hit me in the face again.  Actually on the way to pick Selah up, coming off the interstate on to MLK traffic was stopped and I didn't notice it at first and almost hit a car too.  That wasn't as serious but it's crazy that the same thing almost happened twice to me in one day.  I'm a good driver, clean record so to have two near misses today is eerie!  But I could be in the hospital or worse tonight.... a few seconds can change your whole life....

 

Thank you all for praying for Selah and please continue to pray for her.  Pray for her to have peace and to not be uncomfortable.  She will have to have a cast changed next week as she has had some bleeding, not too much and expected by the doctor (not by me)

 

 

 

Surgery!

Selah's surgery went great.  The doctor feels it was successful and should heal perfectly.  There were very few pediatric surgery cases today and Selah was treated like royalty:)  Yeah St Joe's!  She went in on schedule, the surgery was finished before schedule!  Selah was so upset in recovery that they really had to give her lots of drugs to calm her down.  I don't think she was in pain as much as she was ticked off about the casts.  She tried to left her right leg up and down a few times, which was cool but she had her crying face on and had a few tears.  I felt so bad for her!!!

I decided for her to stay so they could manage her discomfort and they had her up to a room in just a few minutes.  What was so nice, her nurse had taken care of her before and so had the aide and they were both really sweet ladies.  I left late this afternoon to take my friend home and to pick up Selah's gtube (but it never came)  Selah finally slept all afternoon.  She is still sleeping and I've asked them to give her as much meds as possible tonight.  I'm not into giving drugs but she is in pain and upset about the casts.  Selah is very tactile sensitive, which means she hates stuff to touch her or be on her.  The casts are going to drive her crazy.  They are on for 4 weeks, I have a feeling it will be a long 4 weeks for everyone. 

I was able to hold her on my lap for a little bit and with the casts on, her legs are pulled down by gravity which makes her knees bend naturally.  The doctor told me that would happen and it looks beautiful.  I kept saying "look at those nice knees!!"  Since she keeps her legs straight most of the time, it was nice to see them so rounded.  I can say I"m already seeing a positive from the surgery. 

Changing the meds around last night was the answer to her blood pressure problem.  She slept all night last night (which means I did too!!!!!)  I woke up at 6 am all discombobulated :)  I went in to check on her and her oxygen level was 100% and her heart rate 78, which was perfect:)  I may not see a low heart rate like that for a month though! 

PLEASE pray for Selah that she will recover quickly and that she will be able to tolerate the casts on her legs!  I know that is the hardest thing for her.  She is very upset about it. 

 

Her is a picture of Shad, Sam , Jon and Sarah watching "The Bible" on tv Sunday night.  It was pretty good, not 100% accurate but we had some good discussions about some of the parts.  I really like the beginning, the creation part.  What an awesome God we serve, the One who created the heavens and the earth.  If you wonder, I believe in the literal interpretation of scripture.  If it is there, it happened.  I don't believe Jonah and the Whale was an allegory like Mr Bill O'Reily does (even tho I like to watch him)  I believe in the Beginning....all the way to the End ...and I look forward to the End of the Bible....when the God who created the heavens and the earth shall wipe away the tears from our eyes, there will be no more death, no sorrow, nor crying, neither will there be pain, for the former things are passed away...Read Revelations 21 and 22....  What a day that will be....I look forward to that day, especially today, I look forward to that day....

 

Seeing Selah in pain/being uncomfortable is heart wrenching and I hate it so very very much.  It may seem like a fairy tale to some who read this, but knowing that there is coming a day when there is no pain or sorrow for my children who have had to face so much over their lifetimes, gives me something to hold onto.  There were several times today I just wanted to break down and have a hissy fit that my poor little girl was having to go through one more thing...  That wouldn't do any good and probably would make the staff think they need to call for a psych consult for me!  So I reminded my heart this verse that one day God Himself will wipe away the tears from our eyes and that there will be no more pain....  I thank God for the promises He gives us!

Day 120 Fish Oil Study ~ Getting ready for surgery

Whew another rough night!  This is how it goes, the nurse gets her all settled and her food pump on and her meds given, she falls asleep....I go in at 9 pm to give her the next med and to change her diaper and all heck breaks loose and she won't calm down all night!  Last night her Blood Pressure got dangerously high, I think it was like 147/130 That is BAD news, when the top number and the bottom number are high and close, you can have a stroke.  I gave her the meds and it came down but she never really slept and neither did I !!   It's harder taking care of her at night by myself BUT in one way I'm comforted that I know I'm not making any mistakes or stressing her out.  I know the things that bother her (like too much touch, bright lights, too much talking, etc)  so I know if she is having an issues, something is really going on.  My nurse talked to our wonderful pediatrician about it and he just moved her meds around a bit.  At one point, every 12 hours was too close to give her BP meds because her BP would be too low for the meds but if you waited too long, then she'd go too high...it's a balancing act for sure!  So they are trying a new time to see if that will help her. 

 Today we went to see the ENT, waited in the lobby for quite some time.  When I got back in the room, first our medical supply company called and I had to deal with that as we HAVE to get her new gtube.  Then the hospital called right when the doctor came in and she walked out rather in a huff.  Then as she was coming back in the door, the hospital called AGAIN to change the time for us to be there and she got angry at me for taking the call!!!  That did not go so good!  I told her that she had wasted MY time in the waiting room (not to mention put Selah at risk with all the kids in there) and the hospital was trying to get her details scheduled for the surgery.  (my nurse mentioned after we'd left that if the doctor had seen us on time, then we would have been done with her BEFORE the hospital called)  The doctor was young and had a resident with her so I guess she needed to "show off" her "God" complex......I told her it wasn't like I was on the phone with my girlfriends deciding what time to meet for lunch....do NOT mess with me when I've not gotten good sleep for 4 days!!!!!   I was NOT impressed at all with her.  I don't think I've ever taken a call in a doctor's office BUT these were both extreme time sensitive situations and I felt she should have worked with me.   She asked me if I thought we could work together and I told her "I doubt it"  LOL  but I let her exam Selah and she did say her trach was in good (she scoped her) I was proud since that was my first unassisted (at all) trach!  I did it with no one else touching it.  In the hospital they teach us to do it with 2 people but I liked learning how to do it by myself, what if I were alone?   It gives me more confidence!

We did get a list of providers who maybe able to do the kind of speech therapy that Selah needs to get off the trach:)

So tomorrow Selah's surgery is at 10 am for her feet/ankle surgery.  A friend from church is going with me.  I don't know if Selah will be admitted overnight but I"m thinking she will.

A good long term friend who now lives on the other side of the world from us, sent us a gift for Selah.  It was just what we needed to buy her an extra gtube to have on hand in case we ever have a problem again.  Insurance will only pay for her one every 3 months.  We think the fish oil we give her eats away at the plastic bubble and causes it to burst.  The bubble is what holds it in place.  There was enough left over to order a kids size blood pressure kit.  I've been using an adult electronic one but have to return it and they don't fit as good for someone as small as Selah.  The adult one would measure up against the manual one but the manual is the best kind to have and cheaper.   Friends are GREAT:)  And God is good to take care of the details of the things we need!

Don't forget about Patrica/Sally and her grant!  If you can give to her grant since a family has just stepped up for her please do!  http://gracehavenhome.com/?p=639  I want to see her home as soon as possible!!!!!!!!!!  Look at this sweetie the day I met her and fell in love....that is a EIGHT year old little girl with Downs...  she needs a mama and papa!

Thanks for your prayers for Selah and your prayers and giving towards the orphans of this world!

Day 119 Fish OIl Study ~ One less orphan in the world tonight!

This morning Selah woke up at 4:30 am with a higher than normal heart rate.  I changed her and checked her BP and it was high so I had to give her her medicine early again!  We have no idea what is going on other than she seems really alot more alert overall.  She did great all day, went to church with us and was up all day.  She is sleeping with perfect numbers right now, we'll see how she does when I go to give her meds and change her tonight.

It's a cold day in Florida, I guess this is our last little cold snap and then we'll be back to summer:)  I'm covering all my plants up again just to be safe.

Tomorrow we have an early appointment with ENT who is following Selah's trach situation.  I am really hoping to get a good lead on a speech pathologist who can help work her off her trach.  All her nurses remark to me they see her swallowing more.  Just today sitting in her room for about 20 minutes, I saw her swallow 3 times.  We are thrilled that that is coming back again.  She has to be able to swallow her secretions to get off the trach.  She is only on the trach because she is not swallowing enough to be able to handle the secretions and she would get pneumonia from getting that in her lungs.  We've been told about electrical stimulation that can be done to her throat/neck that can encourage her to swallow again normally.  I hope we can get all that set up tomorrow.

We had a scare this morning!  Selah's Gtube came out and the little balloon that holds it in place inside is blown to bits!  Luckily we had kept the old tubing and our nurse was able to get it inside her in time.  It's the craziest thing, the doctor ordered us one and a spare BUT insurance won't pay for you to have but one at a time which can often mean you have to take your child to the hospital if something like this happens.  We can't get the replacement till Tuesday and I'm ordering a spare and paying for it myself!  Talk about stupid insurance moves, don't pay for a child to have an extra one at home, so you'll be billed for the ambulance ride and trip to the ER....  Some folks are able to get an extra one from their doctor or hospital or they order one a month even if they dont' need it...for cases like this.   We are hoping the old one hold out till Tuesday!!  

So this will be a busy busy week....with an appointment tomorrow and surgery on Tuesday.  We're not sure how we are going to figure out the logistics for the surgery, we don't have the time yet but I'm sure it will be early.  Our nurse can't go since she will be admitted as a patient even if she ends up coming home that night.  We had hoped that Jon wouldn't have to miss work, so I may just take her by myself....eek!  I'm getting braver but......we'll see, we'll have to figure it out tomorrow. 

 

 

Last night this little guy...now Issac from the girls institution made it home to America with his new family and became an American citizen:)   HE was one of the children that we thought we might be able to go back and bring home....that was not to be for us but we are eternally grateful that his life is changed and that he has the love of a family!   These pictures were taken on the 2nd story "porch" of the mental institution.  He had not gone outside since he came there but could go out and play on the old toys some.  He did have a wonderful caregiver from Life 2 Orphans that  obviously cared very much for him and urged us to find him a family ....well the family found him!  Thank God one less orphan in the world tonight!  Thank you to his family for allowing me to share his pictures.

Please pray for us as this new week starts, pray that Selah will do fine in surgery and not be too uncomfortable afterwards. 

Day 118 FOS

Selah kicked my butt this morning!  She woke us up at 4:30 am by having some high heart rates   It would go up to 140 (where the monitor is set) and then go back down to the 120's.  This went on for awhile.  I changed her and then had to change her again.  I finally gave her some Valium and gave her her Blood Pressure meds a bit earlier (with in the acceptable time frame)  It did not seem to make a difference.  Her BP was ok but the heart rates continued.  Our day nurse got here at 8 am and then she has behaved all day LOL  Her heart rate has been up some in the 110's and low 120's.  He only sees Selah on the weekend and he feels every weekend she is more alert.  Today she really moved her head and even seemed to make purposeful touch on a stuffed cat.  I tried to get a video but missed it.  Any noise makes her jump, so I think it is a good thing.....it's a new thing at least....

Sometimes it is hard to tell what is good or what might indicate something going on.  If her heart rate is up due to her being more awake, then that is a great thing.  If it is because she is in pain somewhere, that is not good....  She certainly is busy looking around and will catch my eye, hold it for a few seconds and then turn her eyes and head away.  That is what Selah did BEFORE the accident.

You may not know but when we were told about her, we were told she was blind.  We didn't think so even in the pictures, not just because her eyes were normal looking but because she was looking into the camera.  Look at our pictures, how many pictures of Sam or Sarah do I have with them looking at the camera?  It is RARE.   When we met her we knew immediately she was not blind but there was something "off"  We feel now that "something" was institutional autism.  So for her to catch my eye and look away...that IS Selah!   She has done it for awhile with us but she is doing it more with others now. 


Florida is COLD tonight!!!  BRRRR!   I'm covering up all my plants. 

http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/story?section=news/national_world&id=9013368  Did you hear about the man swallowed by a sinkhole in his home?  CRAZY story happened less than 30 miles from our home.  Florida has lots of sinkholes, some are small, some fill up with water and people swim in them but this is unbelievable!   Evidently it opened up under his bedroom and it hasn't swallowed the whole house yet. 

It reminded me of a story my aunt told me.  Back around WWII she knew a man who was riding his horse in the Gainseville Fl area and the ground opened up under their feet and swallowed both of them.  That story freaked me out for years....and now this!  YIKES!   Sinkholes are not like quicksand or bogs, they are just cracks in the earth and the dirt that is swallowed by the hole is what kills the person.  Living  near a swamp, with all kinds of limestone caverns under our area, makes me a bit nervous now.  Usually it just makes a home unsafe but this story is something nightmares are made of!!

http://reecesrainbow.org/49527/sponsorjack  Here is a link for a family who is desperately trying to raise funds to go and get their son who has Xeroderma Pigmentosum (XP) a very rare and life threatening disease.  This family has had some finaical setbacks in their journey to try and quickly go get him.  They have USCIS approval so I believe that means they are just waiting on a travel date but they need some help.  They have wonderful resources to help him ONCE they get him home but need help in getting him home.  If you can give, even if it were just a dollar, it would help this family!  Thank you and I know this family would appreciate it...and I know this little guy would appreciate it!

Thank you for your prayers for our family and the others that I bring to your attention.  Thank you for giving to these special kids when and if you can also.  And thank you for praying for Selah.......wouldn't it be wonderful if we had an Easter Miracle? 

Day 117 Fish Oil Study ~Lots of stuff!

Whew what a story I have to tell....

So all day yesterday Selah couldn't keep her oxygen levels up stable.  For some kids that is nothing but since she is normally so stable in that area, it was odd.  Then around 6:30 the day nurse took her Bloop Pressure...it was awful, she called me and I thought surely it was wrong and she took it again 135/124!  A
She told me to call 911 as she gave her her BP meds and hour and a half early.  Within 5 minutes Selah was in a normal range, the EMTs came anyhow and checked her out.  At that point her BP was like 99/68 and her blood oxygen level was 100%.  So they left and immediately her oxygen levels dropped again.  I don't think the day nurse really wanted to leave us but she did around 9pm.  From that point on Selah totally behaved!  I sat in her room until midnight and she was perfect, she went to sleep, everything was perfect.  Then we went to bed and checked on her a few times during the night and she was great.  All day she has been fine.....  Yesterday we did have a nurse who only comes once a week and she is more hands on with Selah.  Maybe Selah was just really annoyed, I don't know but she has never had a problem before like this.  Who knows?  It did freak me out a little but I thought "oh well we will just have to deal with this!"  And then she calmed down.  I really thinks she likes just having us with her at night. 

Today she had physical therapy and did absolutely wonderful, great range of motion and she seemed happy or at least not upset by anything. 

Then we had a Pre Op appointment at St Joe's for her surgery on Tues.  She had to have a blood draw and let me tell you what she did......  She turned her head and eyes right towards the person trying to do the blood draws.  They had plenty of trouble and had to try both arms and she turned every time!!!!!!!!!!  That is another HUGE thing.  The "rehab" hospital was so negative about Selah's awareness, we were told she draws away from pain but she doesn't try and find out where the pain is coming from...well she does now and did it repeatably throughout the afternoon.

She also has been moving just ONE hand or the other at times.  That is a very good thing.

Also on the way home in her car seat, she let her head sag and then brought it up on her own!!!!!!

Last night we put the blue tube humidifier on her.  It is the long blue one that you might have seen on her during pictures at the hospital. I laid it down the center of her chest and out towards her feet.   I came in to check on her and she had her left hand wrapped around it!   That had to be purposeful movement because I left her arms at her side. 

We see the ENT on Monday.  He will be following her for her trach and we are going to talk to him about getting her OFF of it!!!  She is swallowing daily throughout the day like she did in NY.  We don't put any liquids in her mouth since the "rehab" stopped that and we don't want to introduce it again without someone who is used to working kids off of trachs being with her.  But now if I just wipe out her mouth, she swallows most of the time!  She swallows spontaneously throughout the day and we all love to see her do it.   Hopefully he can sit us up with someone who can work with her to work her off the trach! 

So we are seeing some really good things and are extremely thankful for each one of them!!!!!  Please keep praying for our sweet Ukraine Princess!  And thank  you all for your sweet messages!  I read all of them and they are very uplifting! 

Day 116 Fish Oil Study ~low oxygen stats

Please pray fro Selah her oxygen stats have been up and down all day which is unusual for her.  Her nurse even turned on the oxygen in her humidifier to be on the safe side.  She has no fever, and her secretions are thicker but not really bad.  I am about ready to call the ambulance but our nurse assures us that this is "ok" not great but not terribly dangerous either.  It is just different for Selah. 

As of today, we are not having regular night nursing.  We may have someone work a couple of nights a week but we have decided we want to just be a normal family  at home at night.  There comes a time when privacy is important and just the feel of normalcy.  So of course Selah decides to act up tonight!  I can't believe I don't want 24 hour nursing, but now that I've had no night nurses for 4 nights in a row, I found we like it better without anyone here.  I've learned to do everything for her and it feels good to be the one knowing what is going on and meeting her needs.  I might change my mind after tonight tho!!!!  

So please keep Selah in your prayers and pray that her oxygen levels stay normal all night long!  Thank you!!!!

Day 115 FOS ~ Great pictures and an answered prayer

Last night I had just finished writing my blog and had just logged off when I went into Selah's room and saw this.....

 

So I moved her a tiny bit and the ONE hand went right back to her mouth!

 

 

Then I totally moved her to see what she would do and the hand went back and she made a sucking sound!!!

 

That is PURPOSEFUL movement!!!!!!!

 

 

Her nurse had also seen her do it earlier:)  She hasn't done it yet again but she did it for over an hour!!!!!!

 

 

Today was a great day and here is Selah working out on tummy time!

 

 

She is rocking her new shirt:)

 

She has grown so much since the accident, from size 3 to a size 6 or 7!  No muscle atrophy with this kid!!!

 

Today was just wonderful for Selah and she is more and more alert every day.  She still needs prayers but being off Valium for almost a week now is the best thing ever!  I'm all about less medicine if it can be done safely!

 

Here is Sarah on her Christmas present !

Going....

Going....

 

Gone!

 

She LOVES this "peanut therapy ball"!  Thanks Bell Shore Baptist!!!  This is her absolute favorite thing to play with/on.  She can see it from a foot away which is shocking but we've tested her and she lunges for it a foot away from her face!  Of course it is BLUE and big:)  She spends hours a day on it!

 

 

Brotherly love (with daddy laying on the floor playing with Sarah in the background)

Awww

Shad carried my books at the library today.  I am reading with my reading material if Selah ends up in the hospital after surgery.  We are hoping for an out patient procedure and will find out on Friday.

 

 

Sam has learned to squat, he thinks it is funny and is trying to learn to jump like a frog:)  This is a boy who didn't walk until he was 3 years old:)

 

I have all these great pictures of the little ones but none of Steve, he has been so busy doing schoolwork.  He is amazing me with his love/attention he is showing to Russian.  He will work on it for hours.  If we ever go back he can be our translator:) 

 

Homeschooling has gone smoothly, I just checked Shad's tests and he made 100's on 4 of them and only missed one question on Math.  They both have applied themselves like I've never seen and it's making it easy for me.  Steve has made a B or above on all 7 of his tests he has already taken !!  I'm really proud of my boys!

 

So please keep praying for Selah!  Pray that she will continue to make the thumb sucking motions.  I never thought I'd want one of my kids to suck their thumb but I do!  Sucking is great, she was doing it in NY but like many other skills she didn't do in while in the "Rehab" hospital.  She was never given a chance to do so.  It made her swallow last night.  The hand movement is BIG and if it continues a major good thing.  I know kids often do something, to never do it again when there is brain damage, Sam certainly has done that but I'm praying that this will continue with Selah:)

 

 

Day 114 Fish Oil Study ~ Great Day!

What a GREAT day today:)

Our PT was able to come again today and she worked with Selah for an hour!  She put her on her tummy.  The way she did it was to put a Baby Boopy pillow that I had found at a thrift store under her and put her on her knees and elbows.  We used a small exercise ball (the kind that is small and weighted) for Selah to put her forehead on and she did great!  It's really good for her posture and back and everything.  Her knees bent so nice and it didn't seem to bother her.  She just looked so good, I was so excited to see her "working out ' like that. 

The therapist also worked with Sam and Sarah and they thoroughly enjoyed themselves, they were happy, happy, happy! 

Steve and Shad are doing great in homeschooling, I have to admit I was a bit worried but it's gone good.  Shad is flying through things and very serious about his work.  He really wants to get far ahead in his books .  Their curriculum lets them work at their own pace.  Steve is enjoying Russian.  I can't believe it.  He is so into it with his headset on and is mumbling Russian words over in the corner of our living room (the only place the wifi works in the house) 

Shad and I had dentists appointments today.  We've had exceptional dental insurance for years and we take great care of our kids' teeth but I HATE HATE HATE the dentist!   Everyone tells me I have such nice looking teeth....I don't understand why they look as good as they do because I only go to the dentist about once a decade because I have a tooth that needs to be pulled.  Well today I "put on my big girl panties" and had my first teeth cleaning.  Ok sorry if that grosses you out, but I'd never done it before and really had to use some calming breathing techniques to get through it.  I also have some gum loss and had to have antibiotics put in my gums at a few places.  But all in all for as little tooth care as I've had, my teeth were pretty good. 

Let me tell you why I have such a fear of the dentist....when I was a little girl back in Perry, we had only one dentist that I knew of...another one came when I was a teenager but ...by then I was scared!  Dr P was above the Old Emporium (our "everything" store)  and you had to get to his office by walking up the longest, steepest, staircase.  You'd go into a tiny office and sit and wait....then you'd be ushered back by his receptionist, our neighbor who was one of my good friend's mom.  Then you were in THE chair, terrified...I am not sure he even used Novocain or anything to take out teeth or to fill cavities.  It was awful!  It's funny I've reconnected with many childhood friends and we have all shared our TERROR of the dentist TO THIS DAY!   I've blocked out many memories of going there and for some reason it seemed my aunt was quite faithful to take me to the dentist.  Of course we didn't have fluoride or anything in the water.  I remember in school, all of us having to take fluoride in class and swill it around in our mouths and then spit it back in the cups.  Anyway I have such a phobia about dentists but going to our dentist with the kids has helped me.  We've been going there about 2 years before we took our kids to a pediatric dentist but he was too far and his waiting room was always total chaos so we switched to this family dental place, Bright Now Dentist  in Wesley Chapel.  I thought if I was taking the kids there, it would make me go, well it took awhile but I finally did go!   They've done so good with our kids and been so sweet to us that I just began to trust them.    Anyway I have sparkling clean teeth tonight and have conquered my fear (to some degree lol) 

Then Shad and me went to Sam's and bought all the fun frozen stuff.  It was nice to have time just with Shad and we had a blast.  I LOVE going to Sam's, my whole "Doomsday Preppers" personality wants to come through when I am there:) 

Tonight I came home and cooked a meal that I LOVE ~ Spinach Shells  I'd been craving that for months!  It's so good and easy

Box of big shells
frozen box of spinach ( or you can cook down fresh spinach- I do sometimes.  If I am using the          frozen kind I get the straight kind, not the kind that is creamed it's healthier)
bag of mozzarella cheese (i usually buy the fat free kind)
16 oz carton of ricotta cheese  (again usually the fat free if I can find it or reduced fat)
3 eggs ( egg beaters)
oregano  ( i probably use 2 or 3 tablespoons full I love it)
Parmesan cheese ( kraft reduced fat- 3 tables spoons)
pepper (as much as you want)
jar of Basil Pesto
olive oil

cook and drain the shells
combine all the ingredients except for the pesto and olive oil  I use the mixer, it's faster
spoon the mix into the shells
Spoon the pesto over the shells-it's thick so you might want to break it up with olive oil, I actually do about half and half. 
put in a big casserole dish and bake for 30 minutes at 350 degrees

ENJOY!  I did garlic bread and a salad with it ....YUM!!!!!!!!

This actually makes me two casserole dishes so you can freeze one or cook both.  Since Jon and me are the only ones who will really eat this in our house I usually freeze it.  the kids ate turkey sandwiches...silly kids!

Please keep praying for Selah....

The last two days I've woke up with a peace about things.  I'm beginning to enjoy Selah where she is at more than I mourn what she lost.  Thank you all for the prayers for me!   This is quite a journey, one I've never been on and one that is lonely.  Life's responsibilities weight on me heavy at times.  I don't know where things will end up with her recovery.  Someone asked in the comments "how will we know when she wakes up?"  Its really hard to explain.  I ask different doctors and get different answers.  Some say she is out of the coma and in a Persistent vegetative state and some say she is in a Minimally Conscious state (which is better than the PVS)  I don't know where the coma ends and the brain damage begins......  I had an idea of what a coma was before this, now I don't know!

BUT we will know her brain is repairing itself when she begins to do more things and make progress.  She had regressed so much while we were at the Rehab Hospital that I feel she is now just making up for the lost two months!  She is swallowing now throughout the day like she used to in NY, she is more responsive again like she was while in NY and much much calmer and has an easier time dealing with stress. 

I'd LOVE to see more Purposeful movement, eyes that always responded to a threat, much more SWALLOWING and a gag reflux!  Please pray for that for Selah!!!

Day 113 Fish Oil Study

Well Selah woke us up this morning at 5 am with a very dirty diaper and bed!  In 17 years of being a mom, this took the cake:)  LOL  Since I was up, I started on my "to do' list early and got a ton of things done.  The little kids all had Physical Therapy with our at home therapist who will also be here tomorrow.  She was very positive about Selah having the foot/ankle surgery and she feels it will greatly improve Selah's life!  In my gut I felt it was the right thing to do and was glad to hear it confirmed by a professional.

Getting up so early helped me get everyone going and all the kids had a good day.  Shad is flying through his schoolwork and Steve is also doing great.  I did some errands today and again ran into sweet friends who blessed me by telling me how they'd been thinking and praying for us!  I dropped off a load of things at one of my favorite thrift stores "God's Share Program" and the director blessed me with two cute brand new looking shirts for Selah! 

I have some great news!  One of the three children that we had thought abut going back to Ukraine to adopt left his orphanage today with his family!  We are so thrilled for him and for this sweet family!!  So thankful that his life was rescued....  This coming week  a family is going to get one of the girls that we spent alot of time with at the institution.  She wanted a family with all her heart and now she will have one of her very own!  So very thankful!!!   Another family is leaving for a boy and a girl there that we spent some time with interacting.  They will soon be in a family!  And of course soon Sally's family is coming! 

But.... (this tribute by another family)

"Stacey  is dead. Yes, I am not sugar coating it by saying it nicely. She died. Alone. Never having the joy of having a mommy and daddy to hold her and look at her sweet face saying I love you, your life is worth something.

We met Stacey ...when we were adopting Gabe and Levi. She was in Gabe's room. This year she was transferred from the baby orphanage to the mental institution.

The Bible says, "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."

Is this true when we do nothing? Whatever you don't do for the least of these, you've done to me.

Please just keep this in mind when you see me or others asking, begging, for help in raising funds to bring these orphans home.

Stacey had a family coming for her. But it was too late."

 

 

 

This little girl died...with a family coming...that was my fear for our Sarah as she was so little and weak.  I'm so sorry for this little girl and for the family that must be grieving.  

 

This is real stuff, a little bit more important than taking care of an animal, more important than new clothes at the mall or a cruise.....more important that a chandelier in your church's foyer.....

I know many of you pray for Selah daily and thank you so much for that!  Tonight will you pray for the orphans of the world?  Pray that God will raise up familes to open their hearts and home to them.  Thank you!

 

 

Day 112 Fish Oil Study

Selah did really good this morning at church and seemed interested.  She was moving her head around alot.   We have weaned her off Valium completely:)  We'll only give it if it is needed and she hasn't needed it for 5 full days!  I also forgot to tell you all that I did the gtube change last week by myself.  We are certainly learning more and more how to care for Selah.  With not having a night nurse on the weekend, it's actually ok with me.  I'd rather do everything than to have issues with some new nurse.  When you deal with home health care nurses, the good ones all have stable cases and you might get the less skilled ones until you are established.  Our main day nurse had just had a patient pass away and our main night nurse had had a patient move.  That is how we ended up with them as full time.  Our other two day nurses also had openings.  These other ones they've tried to send are either ones that no other family will have or they have no experience.....  So it is easier to just do things myself at night until we get the right one! 

I'm hearing news reports that we might have snow this week!  SNOW in Florida at the end of February!  OH MY!  If it snows I will take pictures:)  Last time it snowed down here in Florida was in the late 70's early 80's, so much for global warming:)  I'll be bringing in plants I'm sure, glad I didn't plant my square foot gardens yet.

Sarah and Sam

 

 

 

 

Sarah likes to touch Sam

 

 

 

 

Sam does not like Sarah to touch him

the kids leaving church holding hands without anyone telling them, how sweet is this?

 

We had some old friends visit our church today and some new friends:)  That made for a good day.

 

 

 

Our one year anniversary with the girls will be coming up soon and I'm going to post every day what we were doing last year.  When we were in Ukraine I badly neglected my blog but I wrote on FB.  I have many great pictures that I took and dated on my laptop which will help me reconstruct our 6 weeks there.   People said not to post on our blog and thee were some odd things going on but I regret not posting now.  We left on March 30th and came home on May 9th.  It was a wonderful time.

 

When I had each of my boys there is just such a glow around the memories of thie birth and the days that followed.  It was the same with Shad and certainly the same with the girls.  Everything was magical and amazing to us.  The whole process and memories is bathed in a glow for me....I'll check my fb posts to make sure it was glowing as much as I remember LOL.  But it really was an amazing time. 

 

We all fell in love with Ukraine.  I didn't feel like that in China at all.  I didn't feel much connection to anyone there.  I was alone for one thing, then I stayed at 5 star hotels and totally isolated from the Chinese.  I flew from Chengdu to Guagadoz rather than take the train.  Everyone wanted to practice English on me....So basically I was a tourist at Disney world....Ukraine was a whole different ballgame!  We lived as Ukrainians did, took the over night trains from hell, ate whatever we could get at the store and no one cared at all about trying to speak English to us!  It was no Disney World but it was wonderful and we loved every minute of it:)  Even the god awful train ride.  It would put hair on your chest:)  I'm looking forward to blogging about our adventures and putting out photos. 

 

Please keep praying for Selah.  We all want to see some changes in her....she is very peaceful and content but we long to see her alert and responsive.  She is pretty alert most of the day and has a normal sleep rhythm.  We really want to see more responds to us

 

 

Selah last night with just mommy and daddy as her nurses:)  She was rocking the purple and almost asleep when I took this. 

 

Day 111 Fish Oil Study ~ Gardens of time

Selah is having a good day, very calm and she has her great weekend Catholic monk nurse...he is super good with her and a joy to be around.  He took her out some today as we were all out enjoying the sunshine and cleaning out the septic tank at the same time LOL

 

Actually this picture just looks like they were all contemplating a hole on the ground

Thanks to some men at our church and our wonderful neighbor who lent us his tractor the job of cleaning out the septic tank only took a few hours instead of all day.  We have great neighbors like our friend that lent us the tractor, another neighbor has watched our house when we were gone AND while we are home and brought us the nicest fruit basket!  Another moved our dumpster when it rained with his tractor!  We all ban together out here.   I honestly think everyone had good "clean" fun today.  I enjoy work days at the church, of course I wasn't shoveling out the tank either LOL!  They did send me to Lowe's to get some concrete, well sending me to Lowes is like sending other women to the mall!  I love the smell of it and the garden section is my undoing.  I actually bought some flower plants today.  I usually focus on veggies but I enjoy some flowers too.  I bought two lavender plants that I put in big barrels by our outside swing.  I'm looking forward to them growing and smelling sweet all summer long

And it is basically summer here now. i enjoyed seeing the snow but I am a Florida girl all the way.  I live in shorts and flip flops.   I got a bit sunburned today.  It was around 90 degrees out in the sun but I love it!  The job went so quick and easy for the church and then I got to play in my garden:)   I grew up with us having a huge garden, everyone had gardens.  My aunts and granny worked their gardens well into their 80's and their gardens would put mine to shame.  They also canned everything.  I just wasn't interested in doing any of that back then.  Oh I wish I could go back and learn some gardening tips from them!  I helped by picking the corn or feeding the chickens but I never planted anything.  I did like to shuck the corn, I'd find the "corn worms" and let them crawl all over my hand.  Of course I'd save them which drove everyone crazy but they were such pretty worms! 

I can remember sitting in the backyard under the pecan trees shucking corn with my aunts.  We'd sit out there and talk and they'd tell me stories about growing up in the early part of the 1900's.  I wish I'd written the stories down.  My one great aunt was born in 1899!  She had stories of Indians in rural Florida.  She hated Indians to say the least, still was afraid of them in the 70's LOL  They all grew up in the north west cornor of Dixie County which is just south of Perry Florida where I grew up.  The stories they had of the Great War and World War II, the depression, the great flu epidemic, just amazing stuff.  They lost two brothers in World War I and one in World War II.  Their grandpa was a civil war veteran, on the South's side of course!  They saw such history!  Maybe my renewed love of gardening somehow connects with them.  I can't think of any of them without thinking of their gardens, their house plants or their cooking   It certainly was a simple time. 

We also had a huge grapevine.  My uncle had put it up on steel rods and it was tall enough for an grown up to walk under.  It probably was 800 square feet.   I had a swing under there and spent much of my summer reading and playing under there.  Friends used to come and pick grapes and spend time under it talking.    I can remember hearing ALL kinds of gossip when the grown ups would forget I was there hehehe!  Although I'm sure it was sizzling...I've forgotten it all!

Of course we had a screened in front porch.  In front of it were HUGE azalea plants.  Tall as a man!  So we always had shade on the front porch and the sound of bees.  We'd sit outside at dark and they'd snap peas if it was in season and we'd sing.  My Aunt Ruby loved "Just over in the Glory Land"  I can remember sitting out there on summer nights and singing with her.   Occasionally we sing that in our church as our music minister always includes some of the oldies but goodies and I seldom can get through it without crying.   Good memories!

Well we had an interesting time last night.... a nurse was supposed to come and interview with us at 10 pm for the 2 night shifts that we don't have filled.  She didn't come till 11 pm and then was "using her outside voice" even tho I asked her to be quiet as my kids were all in bed.  She was amazing in the fact that she was so unprofessional... Needless to say I told her she wasn't needed.  She seemed shocked...LOL  I was under the impression she was coming from a nursing job but oh no she told me that she and her husband had gone out and that is what took so long.  We even wondered if she had been drinking.  Nope, don't think that is going to work with us!  I'm so thankful for our main nursing staff, they are incredible!  Each of them is different but they care for Selah and we enjoy them.  We only have 2 night shifts that need to be filled.  At this point I'd rather do it although there is always that fear that something will go wrong.  We had two other people in that position and both made big mistakes in Selah's care.  I figure I can do better than that.  I think we've been luckier than most in the nurses we've gotten that work our regular shifts.  They are the kind of nurses you want taking care of your family!!

Please keep praying for Selah!  I really do thank you for everytime you've thought of her.