Thankfulness.....

 

 

 

 

Last night things were ok but Selah is still having high heart rates even tho she is not storming.  All her nurses agree that something is just "off".  I don't know what to think.  She does ok until about 3 am and then she has high heart rates 120's and above consistently from then on.  Her PT came today and she did ok through that and even had a regular low heart rate for about 2 hours.  But the rest of today has been in the 100's which is "ok" but not really normal.  Please keep praying!  With me leaving, it is all a bit overwhelming!!!

 

Sarah had PT today and did not want to cooperate at all.  She just sat down and wouldn't walk.  It was too funny we managed to get her up and going but it was like she was saying"I'm tired of this walking stuff, just carry me!"  Usually she likes to use her walker but it is hard work for her.  Her PT does think now she may need just a small brace on her legs for awhile, she still turns her feet in, not as much as she used to, but it's not going away. 

 

Sam and I leave Sunday night.  I haven't packed or even printed out my tickets LOL  if I don't think about it, I don't have to worry!  I will be so glad to see Dr A on Monday.  We are so thankful for him and for his love for our son.  Dr A is an amazing man!  I'll be glad to see all our friends at the Ronald McD House and Dr A's staff.  Plus one of my BFFs from college Charlene and her husband and 5 kids moved to that area a few years ago.  We will be together Monday afternoon:)  What a blessing to have my dear friend there!  She took care of my kids right after the accident for about 3 or 4 days until some family could arrive.  I didn't have to worry at all about them because I knew Charlene was with them. 

 

This morning after my walk I went and got some mulch to finish my little corner of our yard. Steve and me did it in a triangle shape, using the fence line.  It really was a bit of work.  I was sweating so bad that my eyes were burning from the sweat falling in them before we were done.   Here is a picture of me AFTER I cleaned up LOL

 

 

 

By this time it was after lunch time and very hot, but in the mornings, this stays shaded and it is just beautiful.

 

We had a "fun Friday Family" Day, that's what Shad calls it.  We went out to  eat and then to the mall to trade in some of the boys video games.  I got the new MADEA movie:)  "Madea Gets a Job"  We will be watching it tonight!  I love Madea:)

 

 

Sarah and me

 

Shad and Steve

 

I love how Sarah looks at me when I talk to her

 

Sam and his daddy

 

 

Last night I was lying in bed and praying and I just thought how BLESSED I am.  Sure we have challenges but we are so blessed.    I saw this on FB and thought "WOW just what I was thinking last night!"

 

 

Last night I was just overwhelmed by how much God has blessed us.  You might think I'm crazy but it's true.  I was lying in a relatively clean bed (lol with kids you never know whose feet have been where )   in a cool house, with the ceiling fan whirling over head.  I had ALL my children under one roof, my husband was lying next to me (snoring) it was raining (which is great for the garden)  We had a night nurse so I knew I'd be able to sleep (NEVER will I take sleep for granted again!)  We don't make alot of money, but we don't have a bunch of bills.  We have two decent vans, we have family and friends and a church....

 

the ONLY thing else I want is Selah back....and for the seven of us to live healthy, long lives together and all of eternity together. 

 

That's it....I can deal with Sam's, Sarah's and Selah's (former) physical and mental delays.  I can deal with Shad's physical impairment.  I love my little house and yard and garden....There is nothing I'd change if I could just have Selah back. 

 

BUT I know that may not happen this side of eternity....

I'm still thankful...

Thankful I can TRUST my heavenly Father even when it is tough going....

 

God has somehow taught me to be content.  For years I was not a content person...but after I had Sam and we "lost" so much, I "found" contentedness...it was a pretty good trade!

 

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So a year ago was our last "normal" day at the orphanage.  Again I did not take pictures!  I could just slap myself!   I remember it because it was the last day and we played with all the kids....I said goodbye to Little P (who we are raising money for)  She wasn't out with the other kids EVER so I asked if the nanny would go get her.  She was sound asleep and I fear drugged at noon time.  She couldn't even hold her head up.  I wanted to demand to know what was wrong but there was no one to translate for me so it was impossible.  We said goodbye in our hearts to all the children.  They wouldn't understand and our emotions were high.  We knew Friday would be a crazy day, running all around the province getting paperwork done that we wouldn't even see our girls until sometime on Saturday when we 'd pick them up.  We didn't think we'd see many of the children on the weekend as we usually didn't. 

 

It was unreal that so soon we'd be walking out with the girls in our arms!  During that week I got so fearful that the orphanage would catch on fire before we could get them out.  That has happened just recently in Russia in an adult mental institution, just like what our girls were in.  We had a missionary who had worked in a country near there who had had that same experience in a place where he used to minister, so every night we'd pray for their safely and all the residents there.  There were very few caregivers on the weekends, I shudder to think how the nights were......

 

We started off that day trying to find a vet to give the kittens shots as the director had graciously allowed us to bring them there.  We couldn't find a vet

 

 

 

 

Here are some of our last pictures with those little cuties....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

they were given to the care of one of the older adult girls and she loved cats.  In the end, two of them went home with staff and one stayed.  I just got a picture of the one who stayed and she is a big girl:)

 

The day before I had found the girls' "gotcha dresses" at the market. 

 

 

 

 

 

I could not wait to put those dresses on the girls!!!!!

 

Here is a window cleaner near our apartment

 

 

I watched this group of older ladies every day.  they'd come out and feed the cats, birds, and play with local children.  I finally snapped their picture

 

 

 

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a year ago I was a happy thankful person....a whole new life was going to start for our family and for our girls...

 

Now I am still a happy thankful person....another life, that we did not expect has started and although it is not quite the life we had planned, we still know God is with us.  This year I'm not the same, I've carried a heavy load in my heart for months now, but I still Trust the same God that I was praising last year and I still praise Him.  God is still good....