People talk about how important "self care" is especially for a caregiver and it's true. For many years I just rolled my eyes at that kind of talk but over the past few years I've begun to realize that is so true. Up until 7 years ago I felt very selfish if I did anything for myself by myself because other family members had to pitch in and they needed a break too. But after Jon had his heart attack it was clear both he and I needed some breaks! Thankfully we got Respite care. Since Sam was little he had been on the wait list for Medi-wavier which is the only place funding for Respite care comes from in Florida (that I know of) When the heart attack and surgery happened I was very alone. Our oldest was in college and I was overwhelmed. My dear friend Guy who has passed away now asked me what I needed and I needed someone to stay with Sam and Sarah (Selah had nursing) so I could be with Jon and he paid for it. (I had forgotten that till right now- God bless him) After that situation I knew I needed a care giver in place to help me out. I applied for emergency status and this dear older lady got our case. She was retiring and told me working on my case was her last case. She also said if anyone needed respite care it was us! She got everything in, we found an agency and they came over to meet us with a quiet sweet 19 year old girl..... Well God bless her she never left us now 7 years later Ashley works with and knows my kids almost as good as we do! Sam and Sarah are very unique as they are very delayed as well as blind (Sam has some little sight but is still considered legally blind) We have to learn their "language" it's not them learning our language. But she learned it along with us and our older kids. That gives Sam and Sarah people who understand them.
Through a twist of government bureaucracy last year we thought all their funding was taken away but in the end it all worked for their favor and Ashley was able to start her own company. It's been hard but she is almost to the point of being able to hire others to work with our kids and other people who need assistance. For Sam and Sarah it is one step down from nursing care- they can't take care of themselves without help from bathing, toileting to feeding. And despite their ages they need someone with them all the time.
Respite care helps our family. Respite care is somewhat like daycare but in our home which is better for Sam and Sarah medically and emotionally. For Jon and I we are able to do our normal responsibilities like work and exercising for him and me things like going grocery shopping, doctor appointments. and work at the church without having to bring them with me which is impossible. I can safety take one or the other child with me but not both. We are also able to be with our older boys and focus on them at times whether it's a movie or just going out to eat. Times like that are important to the health of our family. 98% of the time we include the little kids but sometimes we need to just be able to focus with the other ones. I also try and go to see Selah in her group home at least 2x a week. Respite care enables me to spend that quality time with her.
Respite care helps me at home. Physically it's getting hard and harder for us to take care of them. Having her to give them baths and other personal care is such a blessing. The things I could do 10 years ago are not quite the things I can do today without hurting! The great thing is I can do things at home while she is caring for them. They can be outside or doing fun things while Mama is working and doing laundry which helps all of us. Honestly at this time of my life I only have the energy to do one or the other! And I hate that!
But the most important thing is when a situation happens medically there is someone to stay with the other child while we are with the sick child at the hospital. Or if Jon or I get sick or have appointments. We are so blessed with this assistance. My kids have never gotten much in the way of governmental assistance but this one program really helps us more than anything else.
Respite care also helps out for me to do something relaxing once a week or so whether it is lunch with a friend or going to the Y for an exercise class. For years I'd walk about 5 miles a day but since foot surgery I can't do that yet. Well I can do it but I pay for it later! Recently I did a "Float" for awhile I had been seeing ads for floating in a salt water. The water has a heavy concentration of Epson Salts. It's supposed to really help with pain and stiffness which I have in abundance. I found a $49 special near us. In fact it was near Selah's group home so I floated and spent the rest of the afternoon with her
It was an interesting experience. When a person gets there they are asked to rinse off in the shower. This particular office had private rooms and baths. You are given 15 minutes prior to get ready and 15 minutes after to shower and dress in privacy. The water is so salty you can not help but to float, You are given this "head ring" to rest your head on & ear plugs to keep the water out. At first I kept the lid open because the room is dark (you can keep the pretty little lights on it you want or be completely in the dark. I did both after I made sure I was not going to freak out and run naked and screaming out of there :) But evidently I click off the lights and brought the lid down almost all the way. The water temp is kept at body temperature and that was a bit cold for me. The parts of me in the water were fine but not the exposed parts! I kept turning over from back to front because of that. It was relaxing but I could not shut off my mind. When I think of things to do I jot them down and with an hour just to think I wanted to write down so much which now I've all forgotten LOL The pod is huge so I had plenty of room to do stretching and found I could move so easily. My mind kept wondering what time it was which drove me crazy. You could play music or listen to some book or pod cast but one whole part of it is sensory depravation that is supposed to make you relax. After I was so thirsty and despite taking a real shower after my skin was dry and ashy for a couple of days. My hair was very dry too in fact I did an over night hair conditioning to try and get it back to normal. It was interesting and worth the price. I did feel good afterwards and could tell it in my body for a few days but I'm not sure if I'll do it again.
This is a picture of exactly what it looks like. It's huge a 6 ft person would fit in it easily. Florida Float Spa www.FloridaFloatSpa.com it's very clean and professional
This is more my style of relaxing LOL My BFF and I make a resolution that THIS year we are going to become more cultured. Actually that is our yearly resolution for the past few years! But we try! Most times we end up at the Cracker Barrel so I'm not so sure how cultured we actually are....
Last week we went to Keel & Curley Farm and Winery in Plant City.
It is the cutest place and the food was great!!! We sat outside and this was our view
I loved the corn field Reminded me of home but I loved it because I didn't have to hoe or pick the corn!
Then we went antique shopping in downtown Plant City just a few minutes drive away. We saw many interesting things This was the most interesting thing. A table lamp with a naked John Lennon and Yoko Ono.... we both passed on it
Well if it were not for respite care I would have never had this experience :)
So take a little time just for yourself this coming week - whether its just getting away to read a book (my most relaxing thing or going out to eat with a friend....remember we only have a short time on this earth and we do need to stop and smell the roses or look at crazy lamps at an antique shop!
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