Getting Older

 In a couple of days we will be in September....that starts my "birth month"  To be honest I've never paid much attention to my birthday since I turned 18!  Well a few of them have freaked me out like turning 30 then 50 but this year it is the big 60!  

Quite a few years ago I remember a conversation I had with some people.  We were trying to figure out "when are you truly middle aged???"  Back then I thought 35-40 years old....of course you know I was much younger than that!  Now 35-40 year olds seem like babies to me!  I'm definitely in late middle age at this point   When do the senior years start?  I get some senior discounts now!  That's a freaking trip! 

This is the time of life when me and all my friends say things like "How the heck are we so old"  "1983 was just a few years ago"  "How do we have grown kids?" Literally a few times a week now either with my husband or a friend we say things like "well it's gone by so fast" and we ask how this could have happened. It's really crazy to know there is no doubt I have more years behind me than ahead of me unless I live to be 120 years old.  

When you are a kid life is endless and old age  is so very far away.  There's wonder and possibilities ahead....even young adulthood is like that.  Looking back I think I felt like that until I was about 50 years old then the realization began creeping in and life started to change. Our 50's held surprise health issues, our kids all grew up and our older ones started college....and then went on to career jobs and their own homes.  Even though they are close to us and we talk daily and see each other sometimes several times a week it's not the same and it will never be the same as everyone being under one roof again,  

For us we have Sam and Sarah with us always and that is different than most people our age!  None of my friends have to look for babysitters (caregivers) to go out to eat or go to the grocery store.   We adore our "little people" and enjoy them so very much.  But we never stop...when you have kids you realize  that ONE day you'll have less responsibility but that's not our situation and it's hard at times.  We don't have the freedom to collapse and go to bed at 8 pm if we want to, we can't be spontaneous at all LOL that is not even in our vocabulary!   Everything takes planning - like today.  Friday is a day off for Jon so we try and sleep in and made it to 8 am but had to get up and get everything done so I could take Sarah for a hair appointment and do a few errands.  At this point in Sarah's life we have to be careful with what medicine she is given before going out because some of it makes her tummy work FAST!  So that med can't be given until later.  She has another med that she has to have 30 minutes before she eats so everything has to be be planned perfectly.  Everything went smoothly but by the time I got home I wanted to climb into bed!  But that's not happening!  It's challenging to say the least the balancing act we do as well as Jon's full time job as a chaplain and a pastor.  I would not change anything because that would mean not having them in our lives but "boss I'm tired!"   But at night after supper we all sit in the living room together, Sam in his rocker, Jon is his recliner and me and Sarah on the couch together and it's so sweet.  They don't really like the tv on so Jon and I read and just relax until it's time for bed.  Then we go through all the steps of getting them ready for bed!  I usually stay up after everyone goes to bed and read just because there is NOTHING at all that I have to do right then.  It's so a freeing feeling.  

So our lives are different than most folks in their 60's.  I remember  my great aunt Bertha (Boots) took me to raise as a newborn at 65 years of age! I'm just saying I would NOT take a newborn to raise at this point in my life.  God bless her!  She was an example to me and I do remind myself of what she did for me when I get weary.  

But it's crazy to be on the cusp of turning 60 years old-it really blows my mind and I'm shocked by it! Pray for me!

So I had to set up a new FB page for MY REAL LIFE BY YVONNE  please go and like/follow it.  I'm still in the beginning stages of having Instagram/TikTok and I'm planning to do video/reels..My advisor aka oldest son who works in this field has really encouraged me to step out.  He even wants me to change where my blog is!!!  I'm not sure this "old lady" can handle that much change!

Heart Update

 This blog is devoted to Jon's heart health in the hope it can help others!

As you may remember my husband Jon had a heart attack and open heart surgery almost 10 years ago.  It was a HUGE shock to us because just 12 days prior he had gone to a cardiologist because of family history AND the fact he had had a carotid ultrasound through Lifeline screening that showed some blockage.  We were concerned - the doctor not so much.  He asked me if I'd been told I had blockage and I said no.  He then said they always tell men over 50 that they have a blockage... well the doctor did order the standard tests such as an EKG, ECHO & stress test.  They were all perfect in fact the doctor told us that Jon was the healthiest patient he had outside of a few young guys who had come in for sports clearance.  Jon's bloodwork was on the high side of normal but still in normal range and he had no other issues.  I BEGGED for Jon to have a heart CAT scan but the scans were new and not covered by insurance and the doctor did not want to try to get it covered because he thought it was "useless"  

Fast forward 12 days later....

Jon came home from work and ate supper.  He asked me if I'd changed toothpaste because his bottom teeth hurt..... he kept complaining but tried to go to bed.  I was up with the boys because our oldest was home for spring break and we were watching something.  Jon got back up and wanted to see if there was an emergency dentist but nothing was open.  At that point I said he should go to the ER so he could get pain meds.  I did have a little tiny concern and goggled "tooth pain"  Back then there was only a little bit that came up saying it could be the heart and he had just had ALL that testing so I really didn't think anything could be that wrong....So our oldest son drove him to the ER.  I had just gone to sleep when Steve called me scared telling me that something was off with Jon's blood work and he might be having a heart attack!  There was a lot of confusion and unfortunately an ER doctor who was horrible but Jon survived the night with no cardiac consult.  I went up there and then came home.  The next morning I went up at 5 am but when I got there I was pulled aside by the doctor and shown Jon's heart cath pictures.  The doctor said Jon was on the verge of a massive heart attack and had to have open heart surgery and where did I want them to send him because they did not do heart surgery there!!!!

He had to wait all day for the transport- it was terrifying!  He kept hitting the nitro pump every 10 minutes as the pain was intensifying.  His nurse was so upset she thought he was going to die waiting on the transport!  Finally they came to take him to our hometown hospital (we live in the middle between two hospitals and unfortunately that night chose the wrong one to go to.  I followed the ambulance all the way crying and talking to our best friend and music minister of our church Guy. (he passed away a few years ago)    He prayed the whole drive but once I got there I pulled it together for Jon.  Jon's brothers were there and some friends.  The doctor pulled me aside and asked if I wanted to bring the kids and I said NO just do the surgery!  He indicated Jon might not make it!  But I was calm and kept promising Jon that if he was a "good boy" I'd schedule us a cruise!  They literally ran down the hall to the OR with me holding Jon's hand.  It was so awful!  When they wheeled him through the doors I fell on the ground crying.  My poor brother in laws had never seen me show any emotions like that!  They were shocked but once I got it out of my system I was very calm, mostly  was relieved that he was in the surgeon's hands!  Jon's surgery went great and much quicker than expected.  The surgeon was amazing and very kind to me.  Unfortunately he has also passed away since that night.  

We got through recovery and thought things were great but just 3 years and 9 months  later Jon had the same symptoms and had to have a stent placed!!!  It was placed in one of the NEW bypasses (that happens alot)  then about 2 and a half years later another stent had to be placed in an area we knew there was some blockage!  So in just under 7 years time he had to have 3 procedures on his heart!!!  

Just to be CLEAR....Jon's daddy had to have open heart surgery (unexpected) in 1989 right before we got married.  His cardiologist was a family friend and he talked to Jon and his brothers about their risk factors and Jon took it very serious!  So from the beginning of our marriage Jon was careful no red meat no fried foods....he exercised faithfully.  Granted we didn't know all the right things to do- I remember buying Lean Cuisines for us to eat...not the best thing but I tried!   As we learned more we ate healthier and healthier and tried to make the best choices.  I was raised on FRIED food so it was a big change for me to go from good ole fried chicken to a plain turkey sandwich with no cheese or mayo :)  By the time we were in our late 30's we understood more and had seen more heart problems in his family.  His younger brother had a heart attack in his 30's a cousin died from something heart related several uncles died from heart issues....it was terrifying BUT we though he'd be ok because he was being proactive!  Never did any doctor offer him meds nor take seriously his family history!  But his blood work was always good and he had no other risk factors.  

Since the heart attack/open heart surgery Jon has followed every single rule - taken all his meds continued exercising but still had issues.

February 2025 he had numbness in his arms at work and went straight to the ER  His bloodwork was a little elevated but they weren't sure what was going on so they did a heart cath.  For the first time it was clear-no new plaque!!!   That was encouraging!  

Over the years I've become quite the medical researcher between the kids and Jon's issues!  So I've been researching and one thing I found is that Non Alcoholic beer  specifically lower sugar like Heineken and Budweiser NA  can really help the heart in various ways such as vascular repair,  brings down inflammation markers and helps regulates lipids.  So I buy lots of non alcoholic beer LOL I go right into the liquor store next door to our Publix to do it!  Sometimes Publix has it in stock but not always  The first few times I just knew everyone was going to notice and say something or at least think some thing but now I don't care LOL  There's a few folks who might raise an eyebrow if they see it in my buggy or me walking down the beer aisle or in to or out of the liquor store!  Every now and then Publix will have Buy 1 Get 1 free so I stock up!  Last time that happened a friend was in the store and helped me because I bought 10 sets (20-12 packs of Bud NA beer.)   She pushed a cart for me as she was howling with laughter saying how the Preacher's wife has a drinking problem and she was just helping me out!  She got me and the store clerk laughing too hard and causing a spectacle of ourselves!  One time I had just a carton and happened to be behind someone who does not think very highly of us so I was thinking things might get interesting and then she heaved up a 12 pack of REAL beer :):):):) so I just cracked up

For the record my stance on alcohol consumption had changed over the years.  While the bible does teach moderation I don't believe it teaches abstinence from alcohol is required.  Over the years I've deconstructed my belief system and believe that was a well intended teaching but it's not a biblical requirement.  BUT alcohol consumption can cause a lot of unnecessary heartache and I've seen more bad than good come from alcohol  However in the case of non alcoholic beer there's some good things that can come from that!  

After the heart attack we changed cardiologists after I had a good ole fashioned "come to Jesus" meeting in the ICU with him!  If the doctor had ordered a heart CAT scan it would have been followed by a heart cath and yes Jon would have still had to have open heart surgery but at least it would not have been during an active heart attack!  It still makes me mad!

The new cardiology group has not been satisfying but they are adequate.  They basically just say do your best take your statin and hopefully you'll live.... of course they don't quite say tht but I've felt like they feel he has a terminal heart condition....  When I bring up new studies to them they just pooh-pooh them.

Following Jon's heart attack we went to Cleveland Clinic to see if there was anything they could suggest differently.  They happened to have a section for women's cardiology and I saw a doctor.  She found that I have something called Lipoprotein (a) Lp(a) it's genetic and until recently there was nothing that could be done.  I was put on a statin although it doesn't directly lower Lp(a) it lowers other risks   So that was terrifying!  It's a huge risk factor often when you hear of someone who is very fit and healthy who has a heart attack they usually have high Lp(A) levels  So I had a heart CT and found I only had about 3% of plaque in one artery.  I had it repeated a few years ago and I'm up to 4% which is not bad for my age.  

So now I research for both of us!  The main reason we really try to do our best is because of our children especially our younger ones!  They need us.

Anyhow in my research I found some new drugs!  These new drugs work in different ways than statins do.  Now I believe that statins are good for most people with any heart risk factors.  I have researched it and there are so many studies out there on how statins lower the risk of heart attacks and help the body in other ways.  Yes some people have issues with the drug.  It can elevate the liver's enzymes some folks have leg cramps (I did some but they've pretty much gone away)  Jon has had no issues nor have any of his family that are on it.    But if you have risk factors or have had a heart attack I feel statins are helpful!  

So the two new drugs I am very excited about are Repatha and Ezetimibe/Zetia  Both lowers the LDL cholesterol which many doctors feel is the "smoking gun" in heart problems.  The idea now is for heart patients to have their LDL under 70 normally the baseline is 100.  But some doctors feel that the LDL should be down to 30 and they believe in the next few years that will be the recommendation.  Of course all levels should be in range and if not can cause issues.  

Repatha works by blocking a protein called PCSK9 that destroys liver receptors that are there to pull the LDL bad cholesterol out of the blood.  So more  Liver receptors survive ad they clean out the LDL in the blood before it can go to the heart

Ezetimibe/Zetia works by blocking cholesterol absorption in the small intestine and that reduces the amount of cholesterol that enters the bloodstream.  

Statins work by blocking a different type of enzyme so that the liver makes less cholesterol and they help stabilize the plaque that is already there.  .  

So all three can work together as they target different areas  I know some people will say ....but our bodies need cholesterol all and yes it does.  It's produced daily in every cell.  We just don't need as much as being produced.  Our lifestyle is not the lifestyle of a 100 years ago so that does not help!  

Today Jon saw a lipidologist for the first time.  A Lipidologist is a doctor that specializes in the lipid system.  I was able to be on the phone for the discussion and for the FIRST time since this all happened I feel like we have a plan.  We've felt like there was a sword hanging over us.  Now we have hope that the combo of these drugs along with his other meds will not just proevent but will actually reduce plaque in his body!

Jon also takes a coated baby aspirin daily --- Toprol which is a blood pressure med.  He's never had high blood pressure but for heart patients this helps the heart to not have to work as hard.  

BTW all these drugs are best to take at bedtime as that is when the liver works the most so it's needed during that time.  

So it's been challenging to get to this point but we have a plan and I believe it will make a difference! 

As for me my LDL is 30,,,,,I take Repatha and it's a BOOGER to give myself a shot!  I dread the every other week shot. This Saturday is my off day and I'm so glad!  

Please pray that the new drugs will safely give us the best outcomes possible.   

If you or a loved one has heart issues 

- do not ignore them  Please get checked out!  

-take your meds (eating dandelion out in the field hasn't help anyone!)

-try and schedule a CT scan for base line

Hope I've helped someone out with this.  If you have questions please feel free to reach out to me  

We still do not have an answer on why this happens in Jon's family.  He does not have the Lp(s) like I have and neither do our boys!  He doesn't have any known reason- there is a condition where people make extreme amounts of cholesterol that's not what he has - his cholesterol levels has always been in the normal range.  It's a mystery!  

 

Spiritual Abuse part 1

Recently I joined a group on FB that is specifically for people who have worked in ministry in our denomination (mostly missionaries in the US or in other countries)  There are also some others who have shared stories about being on staff  at different churches in the US  and how they were exploited and abused in various ways.  This group shares stories of spiritual abuse.  Many in the group worked for specific ministries within our denomination.  Their stories are all so very eerily similar  that it is shocking.  For many this is the first time they've openly shared their stories.  I/we have definitely been in ministerial/ missionary  positions and have been abused or mistreated.  I'm going to share some of the things that have happened to me over the years.  Some would say I shouldn't share things because it makes the church or God look bad.  Well the Church (world wide) needs to teach people not to abuse others!  The Church and I mean ALL denominations need to step up and deal with people who are mistreating staff or congregations!  This does not make God look bad no more than stories in the Bible about men/leaders who fell and did wrong.  Those stories like Adam/Eve Cain/Abel King David....they are real stories about people who knew God and still decided to sin.  Not God's fault but the stories are not whitewashed they are in scripture as a warning to others.  The Bible spills the tea on its' saints from Peter denying Christ to Paul writing to the church in Corinth that was allowing incestous relationships.  Paul even called out Demas who "loved this world" and left Paul.  What if your only mention in the bible is because you left God.....???  Anyway I'm not naming names but this is my story and it shaped me in many ways.  I'm planning on writing several blogs regarding church abuse.  

The first time it happened to me was when I was a college intern. I worked at a church in  the inner city of NYC during the summer of 1986.  From the moment I got there with my blond hair sweet spirit and too many suitcases some staff made it their life goal to belittle and demean me.  Some of it was jealousy - there were some other volunteers who were probably sent there with the hope it would help them spiritually.  Others thought they were super spiritual and so busy for Jesus that everyone must live up to their standards and a few others were working to catch the pastor's eye....

Now let me tell you back then I just loved everyone and wanted to be friends especially with people who were in ministry.  We were on the same team!  Go Jesus! Having grown up in church I was not naive to the fact people fussed in church!  I grew up in a wonderful but very very unhealthy church.  We went through pastors like you wouldn't believe.  One guy only stayed 4 months...and he had cutest son who was on the football team.  That was so sad to me!  But I didn't think people in front line ministry on the streets of NYC would behave like that.... Oh Boy!

View from my apartment

So the first day I got there the girl I was to room with threw a fit.  She didn't want a roommate.  But her room had a bunk bed so we were roommates.  She was ugly to me all summer (and ugly to boot) I soon learned there was a hierarchy in the apartment and with volunteers staff etc....even group had a hierarchy and I was on the lowest rung.  That didn't really bother me I was there to serve and there were a couple of people that were just wonderful and I spent all free time with them.  Sometimes we even got to work together which was the best!

So even though I was shocked at the unchristlike  attitudes I was still thrilled to be there.  The day I got there I went out on a bus route to invite kids and families to the different services.  It was so exciting!  There I was in the inner city of the largest city in America doing ministry!!!  The bus windows were down it was summertime and as we are going down the street a brick was thrown through the window. and hit me!  Welcome to NYC....

My first job was to answer phones.  Well that was simple...then the really strange things started happening.  There was so much tension between the pastor and his wife.  I did not know how to deal with it.  They had a young child who obviously had some type of mental issues the kind of issues that comes from trauma.  I just didn't talk to people (except the people that called in) that was the easiest safest thing.  But the pastor started noticing me.... and giving me assignments.  He meant to 'break" me by having me clean the bathrooms.  But I like to clean and it was much easier to clean the bathrooms by myself than to be around others.  But then he began coming in the bathrooms to "help' me and talk to me.  I was only 20 years old and at that time respected any minister.  Looking back I realize I really dodged a bullet!  Because I was too naive to think a minster was hitting on me I did not respond to anything he said to me things I realized later was very inappropriate.  For example asking me about my love life while he and I are alone in a huge building in a bathroom...  Come on man!  THEN a staff member with whom he was having some type of inappropriate relationship began hating on me.  Another staff member sat me down and told me!  I was shocked and asked why he wasn't dealt with.  She did not have an answer.  

There was so many weird things that happened, half truths unhealthy undercurrents strange rules-I was told I had to put any cash I had into the church's safe.  Then I had to request it when I wanted it and tell the secretary what I was going to use the money for!  That was very odd!  Weekly I visited my section of the city ALONE!  I literally was dropped off with flyers into the inner city and told to meet back in a few hours at a spot.  I would walk from tenement building to the projects all alone.  No cell phone remember this was the 80's  Supposebly other staff had been raped and one killed but yet we were sent out alone.  Now at the time it did not bother me because I do good alone but as an adult and a pastor's wife I can not believe a ministry showed such disregard for staff!  

The minister told lies all the time.  He'd make up stories about ministry successes, attendance, growth and even persecution of staff.  He'd make up stories about things that happened to him.  Full time staff would even joke about his lies and roll their eyes.

There was so much stuff going on I can't even write it all.  Some things were directed at me and some at other staff..I did my time and gladly went home! 

When I got back to SEU in the fall I met with my college professor who was over all the missionary interns.  I adored and respected him.  When I got to my appointment with him I knew he'd help me make sense of everything I had experienced.  At that point I had told no one the details because it was so awful. As I started to share with him, he stopped me.  He left the room and came back with another professor.  He then began to explain he'd brought the other guy in on our conversation because he wanted a witness.  Then he proceeded to YELL at me! His response hurt me so much more than anything that had happened in NYC.   He quoted Psalms 105:15  "Touch not mine anointed and do my prophets no harm."  He said I was lying/exaggerating and if I were to tell anyone he'd see that I was taken out of my ministry position on campus.  He even made me feel like he was threatening that I'd be kicked out of college!  He also told me I was in sin.  To say I was shocked was an understatement.  I basically accepted what he said and apologized.  I promised not to tell anyone and I didn't until after I was married.  I remember telling Jon this story with much more details and he was flabbergasted.  He'd heard the man speak before and was greatly moved by his sermon to give your all to Jesus.  He believed me because he knew I wouldn't lie but it shocked him.  

BTW that man was finally outed a few years later, his wife divorced him (he lies about it all the time) he somehow kept his ministry but not in the same denomination.  Now his ministry is "world wide"

I have found it hard to speak against this man/ministry publicly - not because I think he's godly or truthful but because I have some dear older friends who have been involved in his life and love him.  I don't want to hurt them.  Part of my mind says "well some people have come to Jesus because of him" so at least he's helping out.  But then the normal part of my mind says he's a harden lying sinful man who probably rakes in money and makes up stories.  I've looked at his facebook page and he's "all over the world" with crazy stories that I KNOW are a bunch of made up lies!  In fact I just checked it out today and all of the last few entries absolutely have to be 100% made up lies.  Because these scenarios happened in countries where there is war or natural disasters no one can actually follow up on the so called ministries.  He talks about some countries I happen to know quite well and I am positive he is not involved in those countries in any way whatsoever and I doubt he's ever stepped foot in those countries!  It's sick!  I just have to remind myself one day if I am correct he will stand before God for the lies he has told to thousands of people.  

So why rehash all of this?  Does it bring glory to God?  For so long that's been a reoccuring theme in the church world to cover up wrong doings so it doesn't reflect badly on God.  But is that really the right thing to do?  I understand if a person falls into sin and repents and makes it right privately to the ones he or she has hurt then it should stay private BUT when you are in ministry you do have a higher responsibility level.  AND that scares me as a pastor's wife!  I'm not always right and certainly not always in the right spirit LOL but I'm going to try and do right by the church!  Because of this man (and other's) exaggerations I tend to go the opposite direction in order to be truthful and open.

And I"ll probably write about this again but there is a difference between spiritual abuse and a disagreement in church ministry.  There are times when someone may not agree with a pastor or minister on a subject and there is a heated discussion - we have had a few.  But that's not spiritual abuse that's a disagreement.  SA is something that is a constant belittling, infantilizing or guilt tripping. Spiritual abuse can also be putting burdens on people that are things not mentioned in scripture..  For example in the church my husband got saved in they had a HUGE emphasis or tithing your time to the Lord.  What that meant was a person should give 10% of their day to Jesus - So 2.40 hours of each day. That time should be used for prayer and bible study maybe witnessing.  I can tell you that was a HUGE source of disagreement when we got married!  I thought it was cult like behavior.  The church and that movement because it's still in some circles takes a good thing and puts so many laws and requirements on it that it becomes unattainable then the person falls into despair with guilt and feels unworthy.  Some of the missionaries that I've recently read their stories had that requirement and were shamed if they did not meet that goal daily.  My husband had to work through that false requirement to see that it was a man made rule.  It was incredibly unhealthy!

 Unfortunately Spiritual abuse can also have a component of physical or sexual abuse too,I've heard some awful stories lately about that too.  

 Spiritual abuse is  not church discipline.  There has been a few times in ministry where we've have had to deal with people who were in life controlling sins those situations had to be dealt with.  We did not try and control them but they could not be in leadership and continue in those sins.  

I've always talked about BALANCE if anything that's what the church world (and I can only speak to the evangelical/Pentecostal folks because that's where I hang my hat)  But Lord we are absolutely insane and UNbalanced so much of the time.  I do realize it comes from a place of wanting to give our all to the Lord.  But we tend to heap on burdens on people rather than letting God convict people as they grow in God's grace.  For example the Ten Commandments that literally came down from God is good- but things like "Courting" (if you don't know that's basically the rule that a couple "courts" not dates and no time alone and no kissing till marriage)  While that teaching probably came from a good hearted place to help folks stay pure until they marry it's gone overboard and so many folks have suffered from it.  It mostly affected young people and many of them married people they barely knew.  The opposite extreme that we see in the world is just as bad.  Of course the bible teaches us not to engage in sexual immorality.  We need to just listen to the bible that tells us to stay pure but doesn't say we can't go out to lunch with different people without committing to marry them from day one!  

For years I've spoken about the crucial lessons that bible colleges often overlook.  One of the most important is teaching young ministers how to recognize and respond to spiritual abuse when they themselves are the victims.  Equally--if not more--important is equipping them with the wisdom and humility to ensure they never become the ones inflicting that abuse on others.  

There are many thoughts going around in my mind and I'm sure I'll be sharing more later!  Thanks for reading my blog and I love the sweet comments I've been getting!  Thank you!

 

MY REAL LIFE BY YVONNE

Blogging Again… After 16 Years

When I first started blogging back in 2009, the internet felt like a much kinder, gentler place. Sixteen years later, it’s a whole different world—louder, harsher, and honestly, a lot less forgiving.

So why come back? Simple: I love to write. And this space is where I can leave pieces of my life for my kids, grandkids, and whoever else happens to wander in.

Friends keep pushing me to write a book—and maybe one day I will—but blogging has always felt different. It’s less formal, more “me.” Truthfully, when I can’t sleep, I often write entire blogs in my head. Funny thing is, those midnight drafts sound amazing… and then I fall asleep before I can type a word!

What Will I Write About?

There’s a lot on my mind, but much of it is controversial. Sure, I could stick to recipes, travel stories, or thrifting adventures (and I love those things), but let’s be real… that’s not all I have to say.

Sometimes I joke that I’ll write blogs to be published after I’m gone—so I can be completely honest without losing friends. If I wrote all my thoughts now, I might not have many left!

Does What I Say Really Matter?

Probably not much—except to my family and a few close friends. And maybe not even then! But I’m going to write anyway. I feel like I’ve gathered a lot of wisdom over the years (whether I always use it or not is another story!).

One thing I’ve learned is how to read people and situations. I’m no prophetess, but it doesn’t take me long to see how things are likely to turn out. When I say, “I’ve got a feeling about this…”—my family hates it, because I’m usually right.

When I was younger, I felt guilty for being “negative.” Now? Zero guilt.

A Little About Me Now

Here’s the truth: I’m a cynical person. You’d never guess that by looking at me, but that’s because no one can read my mind! My trust level with the general public is almost nonexistent, and honestly, a lot of that comes from my years in ministry.

So “My Real Life by Yvonne” might not always sound hopeful, but it will be real. After the past 16 years of highs and lows, I still have my ultimate hope in God—but day to day? I’m just plodding along, praying for no new disasters. At this stage in life, I’m happy when we make it through a month with:
✔ No hospital visits
✔ No car accidents
✔ No major repair bills

That’s where I’m at. Just being real.

So… stick around if you want. It might get interesting.

Recap of 2025 thus far......

 Well I got y'all up to 2025 with a little back track to Hurricane Milton.  Thus far this year has been ok we've had a few medical issues (of course we have) Sarah was in the hospital 2x for her tummy issues and is not quite right.  Jon gave us a scare and had to have a heart cath.  Thankfully it was clear/stable.  Shad moved into his own apartment with a roommate and has decorated it nicely (in a manly way) 

Molly out with me she loves to go!

Easter 2025

Sam often goes with me to see Selah

one of my favorite places in the world.  

Baby has quite a story I'll tell it sometime.  Right now he is in the teen years and driving us crazy lol

Pray for this boy!

I hate the motorcycle but he does look good on it!  He loves to ride

One of our caregivers was happy to work the 4th of July so we got to go out with just the "big kids" 

When a family has special needs children they have to make sure they still connect with their other children.  I will say Steve and Shad have always been so very understanding and I appreciate them for that.  But we always like to carve out time with all of them.  

This is the infamous Olive Garden where Jon and I had our first date almost 36 years ago!  Boy we had NO idea of all the times we'd take our growing family there days in the future:)

Then on to the movies where the dinosaurs made me scream and jump 

When we got home Sam demanded his daddy time :)  He is all about going out. 

Onwards to Taco Bell

Sarah was not feeling good that day but she posed a little for me

she had just got out of the hospital  Thankfully she had a turn around from that day forward.  She has had issues because of the malrotation of her small intestines and the slow mobility of her digestive system    That night I called her doctor and he offered to put her back in the hospital for the 3 rd time or letting me do a colon cleanse.  I hated to put her back in but I wasn't looking forward to the colon cleanse but we did and and survived.  It was the right thing to do and she has been better since then.

Epcot while Jon had a conference in Orlando

Then a summer cruise with my bestie and her hubby

It was hot as hades!

We took a cab into town and saw the local church

Then we walked down to the beach- see the ship in the background.... well just to the left of the picture there was a pipe coming out of the bank and raw sewage was pouring out.  the smell was horrible.  The worse thing was that up by the ship there is swimming and back behind us were several beach clubs!  So do not go swimming at Costa Maya!

Cozumel was better we walked some and got a cab to see the churches.  

We've stopped at both locations several times but either we had a exercision planned or we stayed on the ship.  But Jon and I like to explore off the beaten path.  It's a little cray but we see things most tourists don't see.  Usually it's magical but the raw sewage was an eye opener (and nose opener)  I'm never going swimming in places where I do not know what is around it!  

Don't forget Kay's Tours and Cruises will help you with all your vacation plans!