New Year

Wow I finally have internet connection again after almost one and a half months! It's so good to be able to check my 1000 plus emails, facebook and to get back to blogging! The reason I didn't have internet services was that we're on a satillte being out in the country & it had to be taken down for the church's new roof & with al the delays, we finally just got it put back up today! YEAH!

So it's now 2011! Man the times has flown by, every year goes so fast....I've included my latest posting from Sam's Caring bridge page so you can know what is going on with him....

Wow where have I been?? Our satellite dish was taken down (too early) for a new roof & it took till today to have it reinstalled! We didn't have it reinstalled on the roof this time but rather on a pole in our back yard. I'm glad to be back in the internet world!

Sam has been great, thank God! No problems no sickness!!! We've had a bunch of twice a year specialist's appointments as well as some evaluations. Last week he had a overall evaluation at USF that went awful. The doctor doing the evaluation did not even want to make eye contact with me. It was supposed to be a 2 hour evaluation to determine where he was & what we could expect. It turned out to be a less than one hour slam! She asked some questions and then said that Sam was basically at a 12-15 month age cognitively, profoundly retarded (she didn't even use the new euphemisms) would never talk or do anything beyond what he is doing now. She then went on to criticism me for not fighting him to wear shoes. All in all it was the worst experience I've ever had with him bar none (and that is saying ALOT!!!!)

Was I shocked at what she said? Mostly no- I know my son and where he is but she was so nasty, never touched him never looked at him if she could avoid it....she acted like he disgusted her. He had a psychological last fall when he started school and the evaluator said basically the same thing (except for "this is as far as he'll go") but he said what he said, while holding & playing with Sam. He told me what a joy Sam was and although he had some delays how blessed we were to have him.

I cried all the way home which probably wasn't the best thing to do in late afternoon traffic on I-75!

The next day he had an evaluation with the school's PT as well as a administrator/teacher who was over the academics for SN. They were so sweet to Sam and so joyful about ALL that he can do...what a difference. His new O&M (Orientation & Mobility) teacher is so amazed by him and what he can do DESPITE all his challenges...they were like a balm to my heart!

And that very day Sam learned how to play fetch with our Lab. Now he loves to throw the ball to Brownie & have her bring it back to him...i love it too but he gets doggy drool ALL over him! Yuck!

So we love our Sam no matter what anyone says...he is the best gift to us and we are thankful for his life.

I look back now even after a week and think why did I get so upset? But at the time it really hit me hard!

So Christmas & New Years was great! Lots of time with our family & friends, couldn't have been better! I feel so blessed by God and so happy with the life He has given me!

I am going to be posting much more often now that I have a computer back!!! I've missed writing!!!!

December 2010

Here are some of our almost 300 Xmas pictures! We had them done by Digital Events photography 863 440 4558 or 352 406 0720. Rick & Linda do WONDERFUL work, so give them a call if you live in the central Florida area! www.digitaleventsphotography.itgo.com

It is a COLD morning here in Florida. Our neighbor had a reading of 24 degrees this morning and we have a heavy frost. Yikes it never gets this cold in early December! Glad I bought us all some warm clothes, just in time!!!!! We don't usually have alot of sweaters & coats none of us but Jon will wear them BUT last winter changed us. It was so cold for so long and this winter looks like it might be the same! LOL I just got a text from my friends to see if I'm going walking with them...NOT! Well I would but I can't take Sam out in this cold! He is still snuggled in his nice warm bed!

So we're are still waiting on the LAST permit in order to begin the church renovation! It should be in this week hopefully! WOW I've learned alot during this process! It's been crazy but I think the end result will be worth it! We were hoping to be done by Christmas but now I don't know but it's ok. We actually are enjoying having church services in our beautiful newly renovated Fellowship Hall. It's been FULL the last few Sundays, I kidded Jon that soon we'd have to go to two services:) I'm so thankful that it was done first! We almost decided to do the church first but I'm thankful a guy in our church stepped up and wanted to do the Hall first, it has worked out so well for us to have it since we've been out of the church for a month thinking construction was imminent! LOLOL! That's what we get for thinking that!

Last weekend Shad got Scarlet Fever & Strep, we're hoping no one else gets it....but the doc told us we'd all been exposed! Strep just keeps going around our school. One family has had it 3x!!! And they have 5 kids! YIKES!

Life has been quiet for us since we got back from NY as far as Sam's health goes. I am in the process of dealing with the School Board regarding Sam's lack of Orientation & Mobility training which is a must for children who are visionally impaired. They have denied him yet again because he doesn't understand the concepts of left right, front, back...Yesterday we had a big meeting and I began the process of "due process" where I will eventually take the School Board to court if they don't' give him the services he needs. At this point I've agreed to a "pre-resolution meeting for next Monday. If they don't meet our requests, we will go further. I feel his "due process" has been hindered and he has been discriminated against because he is mentally retarded. It makes me angry because he needs so much help yet gets so little. Surely he is not the first VI child with delays they have ever given service to!!!!! I HATE the public school system. He has great teachers that come in the home and work with him BUT overall I hate the system. The system does what is best for it m not the child! Well for one little boy that will change! When Sam was born and we realized he had problems, I thought that we'd be surrounded by services....LOL NOT!!!! I've fought for everything he has ever gotten and it ridiculous! I had NO idea how much fighting I'd have to do for everything! Whether it was medical, therapy, school, SSI/medicaid...the list goes on. Not one thing has been easy for us. I can't imagine what some parents do, just give up most likely! It's pathetic! But I will fight for my son the rest of my life, he will get the things he needs!!!!!! It doesn't bother me to fight, I don't mind confrontation when I'm representing my child. And I'm certainly not afraid of going to court! LOL At least all those years as a probation officer/supervisor prepared me for that! So if it has to go that far...that won't be a problem. I didn't mind court when it was for a case and I certainly don't mind it when it's for my child!!! But it's stupid that I have to fight like this! But I've educated myself and I'm ready for whatever it takes. With Sam, I've fought many battles, not all at the same time. His most important has been battles for his eyes and health. At this point, he is stable (thank God) so now it's time for me to get his educational component where it needs to be. I've fought some little fights over the years and he does have some services in place but now I need to get it all in place for him. So here we go.....

Thanksgiving

At this time of year, I begin thinking about what I'm thankful for....there is so much and I don't mean that as a cliche'! I'm blessed!

These year we have been through some hard times and worries about Sam but we've have friends who have gone through so much heartache this year with sickness & death, job losses, hard times....it makes you realize what is truly important! I think I'm learning that scripture "Rejoice with those who rejoice and grieve with those who grieve" Life is not easy! And if anyone think it is they need their heads examined:) But thankfully God is with us through our Life's Journey wherever it takes us!

So I'm thankful for my family first of all! I'm so glad God gave me a wonderful husband and our three boys! I was lonely for so many years growing up but I love the scripture that says "He puts the lonely in families" God certainly did that for me and sometimes I wouldn't mind a little happy lonely time to myself:) I look at my boys and it amazes me how God gave each of them to us. They are all three a miracle and amazing...I think of Steve & how awful the pregnancy was, and those moments near delivery where we thought we'd lost him....so glad we got him. I think of Shad and how God ordered his steps, and ours to bring him all the way from China to be our son. God was with him even on the day he was abandoned on the street as a baby, whispering that He would bring him a mommy & a daddy. Then I think of Sam, how hard it was to get pregnant and to keep the pregnancy, all the bed rest & uncertainty...his premature birth and all he has faced in his short life. But I'm so thankful for him!

I'm thankful Jon still has a job, although we don't know how long that will last with our new governor who wants to cut the Dept by 50%, somehow I don't think chaplains are high on Mr Family Values agenda!!!! I'm thankful for our cute parsonage out in the woods and all our animals! I'm thankful I learned how to garden this year and am looking forward to doing more next year.

I'm thankful that our church is growing and that our fellowship Hall was redone this year and that work is going on as I type, tearing down the old part of the church getting ready for a remodel that should be done before Christmas! I'm thankful we are doing landscaping! It's rewarding to us, as pastors, to see with our eyes what all is going on! It was a "hard row to hoe" to get to this point but it's been so neat how God has truly supplied what we needed & wanted for the remodel. It's going to be lovely!!!!! I'm thankful we have a sweet church, full of people who love us and each other. No church is perfect but I love how our church has changed over the past 5 years and has become a truly grace filled church, where everyone gets along and has a goal to reach the community & also practically to restore and redo our church campus. When we came here almost 5 years ago, this church was in disrepair in so many ways and to see how far it's come in 5 years is wonderful! Hopefully by the end of the year, it will be physically what we envisioned. And then with everything in place we can with a renewed effort, bring in more folks. Not that a church has to be perfect physically to reach the community but in America, people do have standards and things they look for. Now we will be up to those standards and every building will be a pleasant place physically to worship and learn about God!! But don't worry, no gold faucets in the bathrooms:) Not that grand, just pretty, clean and functional!! I can't wait!

I'm thankful for friends. I have relationships I've had for 20 plus years and they mean so much to me! What a foundation a long term friendship gives you! I think of my BFF Angela who I'm going to get to spend some time with soon. We've been friends for over 30 years!! Wow she knows me and I know her although we don't get to see each other much, it doesn't matter, we're just s close as ever. I'm so thankful for that friendship, it's kept me grounded! My college friends, Jan, Kim, Mary Beth, Meichele, Charlene, Jackie are my closest and all live away except for Jackie but I'm so thankful for them. They also ground me and know me. Even when I see something they post on FB, I smile cuz those are my friends!

And I'm thankful for Facebook and how it's reconnected me with friends from high school and college, work situations and ministry....it's neat to be able to stay in touch with friends and laugh with them.

So who knows what tomorrow holds? I've truly come to the point that I realize how uncertain our lives and fortunes are...we don't know about tomorrow but we know who holds tomorrow and I'm forever grateful to God for His sustaining power over the past year and so thankful that I have that to rely on for next year and the years to come!!!

NOVEMBER

Wow it's been awhile since I posted last.....Lots of stuff going on with Sam, including a quick trip to NY but everything is good. If you'd like details on his recent issues, go to his caring bridges page @

www.caringbridge.org/visit/samclanton

Can't belive it's almost the end of the year!!! Wow what a year!

Today a crew started tearing down the back walls of our church so the remodel can begin next week. What an expirence bringing this whole thing together! I feel like we've learned so much in the process, pratical as well as spiritual things! How exciting to see God provide for the church's need.

My goal is to get back to blogging more often. I've been dealing with so much with Sam lately and tend to put his info on CB rather than on here but hopefully all is calm for now! So hopefully you'll see me more on here again:)

Angels Unaware

I always kid my husband about all the animals I take care of and say that they maybe "angels unaware". But I have my own angel story....

I haven't shared this much but maybe I should.....

On our way home from China, the translator dropped Shad and me off at the
airport thinking all was well...BUT the "president" of North Korea was in town
in Guangzhou (think of China as the same as the US~ Shad was from Chengdu ~Las
Vegas...then we flew to Guangzhou~Miami and from there we had to go to
Beijing~New York) So the planes were all grounded...things got crazy in there!
We got bumped off of 3 planes. I finally got us on a plane to fly to Beijing
and realized when we were in the air, there was no way I was gonna make my
contacting flight to the US. I was so alone with a sick baby somewhere over
China. There was no Americans' or English speaking Chinese on the plane...I was
almost in tears, so I bowed my head and prayed that God would help me. I have
never felt so alone in my whole life. No one knew where I was or what plane I
was on at the time....

So when we landed in Beijing only 10 min before th plane was to take off....I
ran out of the plane. A Chinese man asked me if I was trying to get to
Continental for the Newark flight! I said yes and he told me he'd help me. So
we were off running...when we got there they wouldn't let us board at first
although they were grounded with engine trouble. Finally they let us into the
waiting area....where we stayed for 12 hours while they worked on the plane.
The guy who said his name was Peter (lots of Chinese rename themselves American
names) helped me with Shad, brought us supper and found me a phone card I could
buy so I could tell Jon what was going on. We finally boarded at 3 am, as we
boarded I noticed his luggage, HUGE RED bag, since we were late, we had our
luggage put on last. I told him I'd see him in Newark. When we got to Newark
at 3am the next day....our plane was the only group going through luggage,
custom ect...I kept looking for my friend and his ugly luggage...never saw him
again. It was impossible to miss someone as our plane all waited in line
together...maybe 100 or so of us as many chose to take the next day's flight out
instead of going on a plane with engine trouble....

So was he an angel? At first I was just disappointed that I didn't' get to
speak to him and after customs and Shad's middle of the night becoming an
American citizen...I wasn't thinking clearly. As I was telling Jon about him
the next day, Jon got the oddest look on his face and it hit me....maybe God
sent me a Chinese angel to help me when there was no body else....

September

It's been a busy month, can't believe September is almost gone. Maybe that means the lovebugs in Florida will soon be gone too. This month we said goodbye to a dear friend and church member who died from cancer. Dan was a "stand up " guy. That was my husband's theme at the funeral. Dan stood up for what was right. He was a great guy, an outstanding person and will be missed.

School is going fine for Steve & Shad. Sam is doing good with his teachers. We had some problems this month with the administrators but we got that worked out (mama got her way).

We joined the YMCA and are really enjoying it. I did a stability ball class (there was nothing stable about it) and a yoga class this week. Jon & Steve are playing racquetball daily and basketball too. Steve is still in the process of taking the classes to be allowed on the weight machines. He is looking forward to do them. The little boys go in the nursery and they have a special room for Sam. He didn't do too good in the general population LOL. I don't mind him sitting in the smaller room with the toys by himself, I suggested it cuz I know he'd be happier.

Well that's been our month...looking forward to the fall and some cooler weather here i Florida.

Turning 45 years old!!!!!

Wow in a few days I'll be 45 years old!! How is that possible? Ive met the requirement to be "middle aged" since how many people actually live to be 90? So probably more of my life is behind me than in front of me...somebody send me some happy pills!!!!

I'm not in some ways where I thought I'd be at 45 years old. I never really thought too much about it, but I know I probably didn't think I'd still be doing diapers and having little kids:) I'm at least happy with the way I look, no gray, I've NEVER had to color my hair (although I know some people who think I do!) I don't have too many wrinkles, I'm in pretty good shape physically, so at least that part is good. I have a great husband who I love now more than ever before in my life. We have a true partnership and friendship. These past almost 7 years of being Sam's parents have made us grow closer together. But we're not dependant on each other either...I LOVE where we are at! I love being a mom to my 3 boys and I love the different stages of their lives that we go through. Right now it's fun to be a mom to a teenager and participate vicariously in his life:) I love seeing what our oldest does and how he is becoming a man.

It's interesting being a pastor's wife, I've learned alot through the experience...not always the best about human nature but nevertheless I've learned...

I feel my life is grounded now and although I don't have alot of freedom with Sam (since he requires alot of care) I'm very happy and content where God has me. Is it the same place I thought it would be at this point in life, NO not really but God is God and He leads us...

IN the past 45 years, I've learned alot. There are a few things I'd do different if I could go back, times where I've hurt others, but for the most part even the heartaches of life have taught me well. Life is interesting, it can be scary but when you learn to roll with the punches, it does make life much easier to deal with! Even hard times gives us the depth that we need not to be shallow people. Now I don't like hard times anymore than anyone else but they do enrich our lives if we let them.

Let me share with you this quote i just recently read in Mary Beth Chapman's book "Choosing to See" "Even the saddest things can become,once we have made peace with them, a source of wisdom & strength for the journey,that lies ahead"

my favorite poem

THE WEAVER
"My life is but a weaving between the Lord & me;
I cannot choose the colors
He worketh steadily
Oftimes He weaveth sorrow
and I in foolish pride
forget He sees
the upper and I the underside.
Not 'til the loom is silent
and the shuttles cease to fly
shall God unroll the canvas
and explain the reason why
The dark threads are as needful in the Weaver's skillful hand
as the threads of gold and silver in the
pattern He has planned

That kind of says it all...if our lives are in His hands, then He is in control. That doesn't mean hard times won't come, I know that, but it means He is with you in those hard times. I really wouldn't trade the life I have lived for anyone. Not that it's been pain free, far from it, but it's given me a depth that I'd never would have had otherwise. I appreciate the good times, I know they can change but I'm thankful for normal boring days,,,

On a bit lighter note, it is funny how much technology has changed in 45 years...remember the old black phones? We even had a "party " line so you'd be able to listen to your neighbors calls...that was fun!!! Now my teen has a cell phone:) The kids ask me questions like "did you have a fridge back in the old days? How old do they think I am!!!! The crack up when I tell them we didn't have tv until I was 4 yrs old and then we only had 4 channels in black and white!!!!

So life is interesting, wonder what the next 45 years hold...?