Had a hard talk with our compassionate doctor....don't really want to go into details but our lives are forever changed without a huge miracle. I appreicaite the prayers and I trust God regardless of the outcome...but things are bad neurologically. Physically she is doing good overall, no big concerns, However the discussion I had tonight was one that Jon & I have had for the past few days and
it is hard. Basically Selah will live and breath on her own with a trach (since she doesn't cough or gag) feeding tube but all the movements we see are really basic brain stem activity. They are great but since they are not combined with some of the other things... it doesn't give us much.... We will be making many decisions in the next few days/weeks as we set our aftercare up. I appreciate your care and wanting to encourage me with various stories but every case is different and it doesn't really encourage me at all. Our doctor is a man of faith who led prayer for us yesterday and prayed from his heart for us today. He is just honest I know he would love to be wrong and hopes there is a miracle but miracles dont' always happen the way we want them to. He still says we'll know more as time goes by, and there is some hope for more change but as time goes by and she does so well in some ways, it makes the neuro stuff that much harder. I trust in God although my heart is breaking... If you feel the need to give me any advice please resisit it.....Just pray that God will still do a miracle for our sweet girl.
"Our life maybe a crazy life but it's our life" I'm married to a pastor of a small rural church, who is also the prison chaplain. We have 5 kids, each with their unique story. I love gardening & we all love the outdoors. Our life is not the way we planned it to be, but we are learning to trust God in every area. Come and read about our life as we live it to the fullest!
Monday, August 20, 2012
Trusting....God prepared!
God has prepared me for months for this...in gentle ways He has spoke to my spirit. Years ago he gave me the verse Joshua 1:9 "Be strong and very courageous for the Lord thy God is with you wherever you go" I am SOOOO NOT a mystic type christian but that has been popping up everywhere and I felt God was telling me to get ready for something. Early in the summer I met a lady in the mall and sh
e was Not weird but she told me God was about to do something BIG in our family. But that I'd have to really trust him. I took her serious and felt it was from the Lord, although it was right after the adoption and I did say He had done something BIG!!!!!! She told me there was more to come and that it would be seen by many...I had forgotten that until right now. One of my friends was with me and I think she'll remember that I took the lady serious and didn't joke around or be sarcastic about it. ( I tend to do that as most stuff people say is a bit crazy but I felt it was from God) Some people had some disturbing dreams about my family, especially of Sam... and I felt a God given sense of premonition all summer. God prepared me for the loss of my twins that way ( I'm not saying that Selah is not going to make it) God knew this was going to happen...I don't understand it all but like the old poem "The Weaver" I will one day!
I want to write more about this but I have to go to bed as tomorrow will be a long day. Thanks for your prayers and just know that God is with you through everything!!!!!
e was Not weird but she told me God was about to do something BIG in our family. But that I'd have to really trust him. I took her serious and felt it was from the Lord, although it was right after the adoption and I did say He had done something BIG!!!!!! She told me there was more to come and that it would be seen by many...I had forgotten that until right now. One of my friends was with me and I think she'll remember that I took the lady serious and didn't joke around or be sarcastic about it. ( I tend to do that as most stuff people say is a bit crazy but I felt it was from God) Some people had some disturbing dreams about my family, especially of Sam... and I felt a God given sense of premonition all summer. God prepared me for the loss of my twins that way ( I'm not saying that Selah is not going to make it) God knew this was going to happen...I don't understand it all but like the old poem "The Weaver" I will one day!
I want to write more about this but I have to go to bed as tomorrow will be a long day. Thanks for your prayers and just know that God is with you through everything!!!!!
Sam's Homecoming! Prayers for Sarah
Thanking God that Sam was released on Saturday!!! He is back with hsi brothers and sister being cared for by his uncle!
Tomorrow (Monday) Sarah will have her MRI to see if she is a candidate for the corneal implant. If so she may have surgery on Tuesday....that is just a little stressful.....
Sunday update
Today was a very hard day. Selah had no responses till evening & that was hard for us! However as they were changing an IV she had tears and was moving her head. We were told that tears come from the lower part of the brain stem and was not really a big sign. We don't know, it seems she is here at times. Still NO gag or cough PLEASE pray for that! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!! Tomorrow is a new week, she will finish the study at 5 pm and be taken off the cooling sheets. She will start physical therapy...She was started on feeds through a nasal feeding tube ( just like a NICU baby has) and is tolerating that. Her heart rate was down some around 130-140 , it still needs ot get down to 100! Please pray for our girl to come back to us! We have both cried on and off all day.
Went to church this morning and I just wept through most of the service. The words of the song becomes so much richer when you are going through a trial..."the Defender of the weak, You comfort those in need..." How Great Thou Art" etc....
we went out to eat after service and the server asked how many and Jon and I both said 7, then we said 6...then we cried when we were seated. It was hard to ride in the care with all the children and have that one carseat empty. Oh God somethings are like knives in the heart!!!!! Then as we were getting ready to leave the server comes over with a gift card from a family who had just left. We just bawled again and so did our server....
I can relate to David in the bible when he said "his eyes were swollen from crying" Please pray that God will see those tears and answer our prayers!!!!!!!!
Went to church this morning and I just wept through most of the service. The words of the song becomes so much richer when you are going through a trial..."the Defender of the weak, You comfort those in need..." How Great Thou Art" etc....
we went out to eat after service and the server asked how many and Jon and I both said 7, then we said 6...then we cried when we were seated. It was hard to ride in the care with all the children and have that one carseat empty. Oh God somethings are like knives in the heart!!!!! Then as we were getting ready to leave the server comes over with a gift card from a family who had just left. We just bawled again and so did our server....
I can relate to David in the bible when he said "his eyes were swollen from crying" Please pray that God will see those tears and answer our prayers!!!!!!!!
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Saturday
Selah continues to make some movements...however we have been told they are not the kind of movements we should be seeing...it's long and detailed and confusing to explain....however we feel she is reaching out to us. PRAY specifically that her heart rate will come down (still around 150ish for the most part) pray that her blood pressure will NOT go up! She is still in danger of more brain dama
ge from that. Pray that she will have a gag reflex and that she will respond to pain correctly. She has started responding a little but in a way that leads them to believe she is only responding from her brain stem. She is swollen and has been given drugs to combat that. Today they had to remove a arterial line because there was a blood clot. This has been a long day of many ups & downs... pray for Jon & me....
Please attend church tomorrow and ask for prayer for Selah!!!!!
Sam went home to the RMH and I'll have the pictures up soon:) So thankful!!!!!
ge from that. Pray that she will have a gag reflex and that she will respond to pain correctly. She has started responding a little but in a way that leads them to believe she is only responding from her brain stem. She is swollen and has been given drugs to combat that. Today they had to remove a arterial line because there was a blood clot. This has been a long day of many ups & downs... pray for Jon & me....
Please attend church tomorrow and ask for prayer for Selah!!!!!
Sam went home to the RMH and I'll have the pictures up soon:) So thankful!!!!!
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Update and Request
Update
Selah was stable through the night. We need to see some improvement and SOON! The more time that goes by, the less chance of a full recovery. We are depending on the mercy of God. The staff here is amazing. I've never seen anything like the level of concern, care and professionalism. They are as postitive as they can be, but I see in their eyes/faces and by what they don't say, that they do
not give us much hope for a full recovery. They have seen too many children/people in this situation that do not recover. I am a realist, I've seen so much heartache in life, and beiing in the ministry, I know God doesn't always answer prayers the way we may want, we live in a fallen world. But I still trust the One who has been my guide through life. I don't feel that I (as a mere mortal) can comand or demand that God do what MY will is. But I throw myself on His mercies...and I can rest in that. This morning I woke with a heavy heart and a sick stomach. I ask you to pray for the mercy of God in this situation. Pray that He will, in His grace, work a miracle. Thank you
Request
Can I ask you a favor? so many have asked "what can I do to help?" THIS is what I want. I want each of you to go to church Sunday morning and ask your church to pray for Selah. I know some of you have gotten out of the habit of church attandance and some even feel it is not necessary to go anymore, that you can worship where ever you are....but there is something special about a corprate worship service and so many praying at once. So if you want to do something for us, please do that! and ASK specificaly for your church to pray for our little girl for improvement. thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Grace Church, the church my husband pastors is having a prayer service tonight (Saturday) at 7 pm for Selah. If you live in our area, please feel free to attend!!!!! http://www.gracechurchofzephyrhills.org/ is our website and there are directions there on it.
Thank you all again from the bottome of our hearts!!
Selah was stable through the night. We need to see some improvement and SOON! The more time that goes by, the less chance of a full recovery. We are depending on the mercy of God. The staff here is amazing. I've never seen anything like the level of concern, care and professionalism. They are as postitive as they can be, but I see in their eyes/faces and by what they don't say, that they do
not give us much hope for a full recovery. They have seen too many children/people in this situation that do not recover. I am a realist, I've seen so much heartache in life, and beiing in the ministry, I know God doesn't always answer prayers the way we may want, we live in a fallen world. But I still trust the One who has been my guide through life. I don't feel that I (as a mere mortal) can comand or demand that God do what MY will is. But I throw myself on His mercies...and I can rest in that. This morning I woke with a heavy heart and a sick stomach. I ask you to pray for the mercy of God in this situation. Pray that He will, in His grace, work a miracle. Thank you
Request
Can I ask you a favor? so many have asked "what can I do to help?" THIS is what I want. I want each of you to go to church Sunday morning and ask your church to pray for Selah. I know some of you have gotten out of the habit of church attandance and some even feel it is not necessary to go anymore, that you can worship where ever you are....but there is something special about a corprate worship service and so many praying at once. So if you want to do something for us, please do that! and ASK specificaly for your church to pray for our little girl for improvement. thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Grace Church, the church my husband pastors is having a prayer service tonight (Saturday) at 7 pm for Selah. If you live in our area, please feel free to attend!!!!! http://www.gracechurchofzephyrhills.org/ is our website and there are directions there on it.
Thank you all again from the bottome of our hearts!!
Friday, August 17, 2012
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