Future Plans

Today we had a planning meeting with the team caring for Selah. It looks like she will have her dental surgery on Friday. We are looking at a transfer date of next Tuesday or Wednesday. If everything comes together, we will transfer her to Lakeland Regional Hospital. She would probably be there for a few weeks while we get our home ready for her. Depending on our insurance, we may have to transfer her to s short term nuring place for awhile as our home gets ready for her.

In some ways this is good news but it's going to be hard. We are extremely happy with the level of medical care and professionalism that she has been given here at Strong's. Florida just doesn't compare to the New York in the area of medical care. We are blessed with a really good pediatrician at home and I'm so thankful for him! Lakeland Regional is a good hospital for non acute care for children. We've been really happy with it over the years with Sam. The problem lies more in specialists and other hospitals that we will have to deal with eventually, as well as services needed. Unfortunately I KNOW what lies ahead because I've been the mom of a SN child for almsot 9 yrs. I've had to fight like crazy to get any help for Sam! When he was born, the doctor would not believe me that something was wrong with his eyes.....and honestly it only went downhill from there! I had to fight to get his medical issues dealt with and fight for specialists. I am so not looking forward to what lies ahead. When Sam came home from the hospital on three machines, our pediatrician tried so hard to get me a few hours of nursing and could get no nursing for me. So we have dealt with alot of things over the years. I have an idea of how things are going to be.

We even briefly considered moving up here but felt like it would be too hard of a transition for the other kids. So please pray that things will work smoothly during this transitional time and we get the medical help/services we need for Selah.

We have had some offers to help us on remodeling the house but nothing is really worked out yet. We find it hard to really focus on things like that right now but will have to soon. Many have asked about how they can help and I will let you know when everything is worked out.

Please continue praying for Selah! Thank you all so much.

Happy Birthday Shad!! Update on Selah

Great news today! Selah is out of the PICU and in a step down room. She is now on a medicated patch for her blood pressure and thankfully it seems to be helping. She is also getting some meds through her feeding tube for the BP. The idea with the patch is it will give her a steady dose of BP meds so she won't have the highs, she still is high but not too high. Today she stay around 118/60, too high but not like 180/110!!!

Tomorrow we are meeting to discuss the next steps. She was scheduled to have some oral surgery before all of this happened so we are hoping to get it done here. Her teeth/gums are in really bad shape. Strong's has a School of Dentistry and it would not be hard to arrange everything and get her through it. Then we will begin the final arrangements to get her home.

Today was mine and Shad's birthday. We went to Cracker Barrel and ate comfort (for me- fried chicken, fried okra and sweet tea!) food. Then we went and let Shad pick up some Lego sets...probably went a bit overboard but he was so happy! He got four sets of different "Lord of the Rings" Legos. Now he just needs the biggest set to have them all! He has already put together three of them, genius boy:) We first planned on going to the Rochester Zoo but it rained so then we were going to their Children Museum, BUT after getting the Lego sets, he just wanted to come back and put them together. He is a trip, he told me we could go tomorrow! Shad is a blessing to our family and we would not be complete without him. I often wonder do his birth parents think of him? Do they wonder what became of the little boy they left on a street? They missed out on so much but we are so blessed by his life!

So for my birthday I did a little shopping. I have a secret, I'm addicted to leggings/stirrup pants. I'm sorry I was a teen/young adult in the 80's and that was my clothes of choice! So for them to be back, in the stores make me HAPPY! So that was fun to go get them.

But what I wanted more than anything was for Selah to "come back to us"...Jon went and was with her this morning till lunchtime and I went back this afternoon till supper and now he is back over with her. It is nice to be in another room and have less worries about her physically but we miss her. Today when we went out to eat, we missed her, we miss her when we put the other kids in the van. Everything has a different meaning to us now. Today at Target I saw her little car that she loves to ride on a shelf & it was like a knife to my heart. Everything reminds us of her.

Five weeks ago tonight was another rainy night. Jon & I had been at the hospital all day, just like we were today with Sam and Sarah having their eye exams under anesthesia. And we had another birthday, it was Selah's birthday. We had a great dinner at the RMH but we didn't do alot in the way of celebrating it because of the weather and that we were all so tired from being up so early. We planned on doing it on Wednesday....we never got the chance. That just eats at me so bad. She didn't get to really celebrate her 8th bday. She didn't understand birthdays but I wanted to do something really fun just for her. It's something I will always regret, the accident happened early in the day on Wednesday and we had plans for later.

Tomorrow will be 5 weeks, it seems so unbelievable. It doesn't seem like five weeks at all to me. There has been so much going on and we've been busy. Tonight I'm in a somber mood. Will I ever get my daughter back this side of heaven? I don't have the answer for that. I certainly hope that God will heal her little mind. But it is hard to believe it will happen.

Growing up I had a rather crappy lot in life. I didn't really have much of a family, certainly not a "regular" family and that was all I wanted. Then when Jon & I married and finally had a child, that was all I wanted. Then we lost our twins in utero at 22 weeks. Eight years later we had Sam, Then we adopted Shad and now recently the girls. I LOVED having a larger family! There is nothing on this earth I wanted more than to have children. We were just so blessed and thankful for all five of them. It seems like, without getting all weird & "voodoo" christian, that I've been "attacked" in the area of family all my life. It is where I've had my greatest joy and deepest sorrow. Truly, it is something I don't understand at all. I've cherished my kids, been awed by the fact that God gave them to us, and just loved them with everything in me. I've traveled around the world for three of them and carried the other two through the worst pregnancies ever:) They've all come with a price! But it has been so very very worth it for each of them. I fight for my kids, I'm rude and mean ( if I have to be for them) and I'd probably kill without a second thought to protect them...but I can't fix this for Selah!

We are grown ups and can take responsibility. I have to say truthfully that I am scared of the new responsibility that lies before us. We're used to kids with special needs, but this is a whole new ball game. But we can do it, sure our lives will change more but it's not like we are folks who are out and about alot anyhow, we're not running off to Europe (except to adopt kids) or Vegas or wherever....

So we will live and adjust...but the last few days all I can think of is Selah and how unfair this is to her. She was living in an adult mental institution most of her life and had just three months with us to be loved on and cherished before this happened. We did many "firsts" with her...but not enough! We still love and cherish her but she seems to be unaware of her surroundings...unaware of us. Today I saw some kids at the mall and it just made me mad that she can't run and play now. After all she has been through to have to deal with this now... The doctors tell me she is in a "dream like" condition and honestly I hope so, I hope she is unaware of things. She just deserves so much more than this!

The thing that keeps me going is the truth I have written about time and again. This world is not our home, this is not the end, life is but a vapor....life is short, eternity is long.....that is what keeps me going. I want Selah to be healed but if she is not, I am so thankful she will be healed for all of eternity. She will live life fully then. Having that deep faith of an everlasting life, keeps me going. Selah will one day live life fuller than many other people will ever know. One day all tears will be wiped away. Those are the truths I've held close to my heart since Sam was born and really since we lost the twins. that truth is what I'm holding onto now also.

I may cry and weep often on this earth but there is coming a day when I am going to be the happiest person in heaven! I have more to look forward to than most! I will meet my twins, I will see Selah, Sarah, Sam and Shad healed....can you imagine? I can not wait for that day! It will be glorious!!!

But I pray that Selah will be healed on this earth, please continue to pray for her. Pray for her, not so much for our sake, but for her! Pray that she will be able to enjoy life again be able to play with her siblings, play with her toys, play outside in her little kiddie pool, swing on the swing set.... all these things that she just got to enjoy for the first time in her life!!! Can you imagine, living the life she has lived, no family, living in an institution, no one to really care for her and then to have a family for just a few months and then go through such a horrible accident. It just breaks my heart.


Even in my sadness, there is still a ray of hope. How can I adequately explain the peace I have, in spite of the incredible sadness in my heart? I do not have the words to tell you. But I can truthfully tell you it is REAL! I've always been a questioning type of person in all areas, including spirituality/religion. I didn't take everything at face value. I had to know and I can tell you now I know that there is a peace that passes all understanding, it's not just a song to me or words in a sermon. Songs and sermons won't take you too far when life's heartaches hit but His peace will. I can't explain it, I'm even a bit shocked by it to be honest!!!

Please don't think I'm some sort of spiritual giant! I am so NOT!!!! Really Really NOT!!! But I've had some practice in the area of trials and the God who brought me through many others, is bringing me through this one. I've never had a particularly outward faith, in that I've not been some great Pentecostal shouter...I don't even like to pray out loud in front of others, I figure I'm praying to God and it is just Not anyone else's business! So I may not measure up to what some think is "spiritual" but I am committed to following God and He is committed to holding my hand! Thank God that I don't have to measure up to man's idea of what a pastor's wife should be! Now I'm not saying, you can just go live in sin and do whatever, the bible gives us specific guidelines BUT we also don't have to be cookie cutter Christians! But we should live to serve God in every area of our life and allow Him to be Lord of our life. But that doesn't mean we all are alike in every way. I used to be a bit envious of people who could be free in worship, but I learned to be comfortable in my own skin and not try to be someone I am not. That is not me, and now that I don't really think about it, I find it so much easier to enter into worship because I'm not comparing myself to anyone else.

So be who YOU are, live a holy life (measured by the Bible not some man made laws/thoughts) Stay balanced, don't use what I'm saying as an excuse to sin, but as an encouragement to be yourself but live yielded to God. Love your family with everything within you. You do not know when life may suddenly change! Hug your kids, cherish every moment, live life in the light of eternity, when you do that, you will stay as far away from sin as you can and as close to God as you can.

Thank you again for your prayers for our sweet LaLa (our nickname for Selah)

Sept 17 update

Jon spent most of the day with Selah and worked on training on her care. He was able to hold her and love on her. We did an interview with the CBS/FOX station to thank the viewers of the Rochester community for everything that have done. Then I went to the hospital tonight and held her for about an hour and worked on her arms and hands. She seemed to relax into me some.

The only thing she is still dealing with is high blood pressures. They go up and down depending on the times of her meds. She is being placed on a patch to help regulate her BP hopefully. The idea is to keep her medicine constant with the hope that will help. She spiked high last night for awhile. So she is still in the PICU at this time.

Everything else is going good physically. Neurologically there has been no change. Please keep praying for her.

Tomorrow is Shad's 9th bday and my ? Bday LOL. He and I share a birthday. We are taking him to the small zoo here and out to eat. He is really excited. Shad has been such a great kid and so helpful through this past 5 weeks. We want to give him a special day.

Thank you for your prayers. I hope to do a long blog tomorrow, sometimes an idea/thoughts just kinda churn around till I have to write it, I'm telling you blogging is good for your mental status:)

More pictures from Sunday

I wanted to show all our friends a good picture of Ken and Lynn! Lynn and her daughter had a horrible accident back in May. Both lived and are doing fine! Lynn is ready to head back to Florida soon!!!! We are so thankful that she has recovered so well. (she was here at Strongs for weeks following the accident!)

Next picture, the kids before church. I just want to encourage you to take your kids (and yourself) to church! We have a reason not to be in church but we are there! Many people have no real reason but that it is too hard to get out of bed! Ummmm thaat is so not a reason! Get to church, Get your kids in church. You will be glad that you did!

Next pic is Jon Sam and me by the lighthouse (I have a thing for Lighthouses-must have been that old song ..."there's a Lighthouse on the hillside that overlooks life's seas.." Who remembers that one????

The Lighthouse of Sodus Point NY on Lake Ontario

It was nice to go to church, eat and relax together as a family today.

Some pictures...

Top picture is us with Ken and Lynn Ginnet our dear friends at the Sodus Point Lighthouse. Then Sarah on the grass for the first time ever (I don't put her on the grass, too many bugs and sand spurs etc..in Florida) then Me and then Sarah again smiling in her car seat:) I can only get 4 pictures on my blog at a time for some reason!



Today we went to our friends' church and then with them to the Sodus Point Lighthouse and out to eat at a Farmer's Market and let the kids play for awhile. Then I came back to the hospital and got to hold Selah for about an hour. She seemed to relax into me some. All her vitals are good, blood pressure still a bit high but not too bad. Please keep praying for her

Anywhere With Jesus

Watch this song


Anywhere with Jesus I can safely go
Anywhere he leads me in this world below
Anywhere without Him dearest joys would fade
Anywhere with Jesus I am not afraid

Anywhere, anywhere ...any little fear I'll never
Know
Anywhere with Jesus I can safely go

Anywhere with Jesus, I am not alone
Other friends may fail me, he is still my own
Tho' His hand may lead me over dreary ways
Anywhere with Jesus is a house of praise

Repeat Chorus

Anywhere with Jesus I can go to sleep
When the darkest shadows round about me
Creep
Knowing I shall waken nevermore to roam
Anywhere with Jesus will be home, sweet home

Today I went for a few hours to the Women of Faith conference in Rochester NY. I'm NOT big into going to conferences, especially women's conferences! It's just Not "my thing" BUT Amy Grant was going to be there and I really wanted to hear her!

She started her selection of songs with the above song "Anywhere with Jesus" I almost fell out of my seat, in the nose bleed section! Our music minister sang that for us our last Sunday before we left for Ukraine. He knew how much I hate to fly and he was encouraging me and kidding me at the same time:) What a coincidence! Not exactly a well known song!

It spoke to me because the words of this song, are so true. Whether I am literally traveling thousands of miles or whether I am walking through a valley...Jesus is with me!

Thank God for His presence! I'm so glad He is with me " Tho' His hand may lead me over dreary ways, Anywhere with Jesus is a house of praise " Those can be empty silly words UNTIL you experience it yourself. When you feel the peace of God even while you are walking over dreary ways, then you know ALL those things you learned in Sunday School and all those songs you sang and all those endless sermons you heard...THEY ARE TRUE!!

Tonight Jon is with Selah. She has been stable although right now her heart beat is high but she probably will be getting her meds soon. Staying at the RMH, one of us (or our wonderful "nanny" ) has to be with our other kids. So the days my friend can't come, makes it a bit more complicated but it's good to be with the kids. They are healing to my heart! Selah will be moved out of the PICU soon, I think they are just waiting on a bed.

Tomorrow as you attend your church (and if you don't have one...find one!) PLEASE put Selah on your prayer list. Ask God to have mercy and to heal her! Thank you for continuing to bring her name up to the throne of God. We are still praying for God to touch her and heal her little mind.

I really want to thank so many people...today we got a gift card from a family in NC. Also I got a pair of hand made slippers from my future daughter in law...(LOL inside joke but I think this young lady ROCKS in many many ways!!!!) I'm wearing them along with my soft thick PJ pants that my friend bought me and I'm wrapped in a blanket that another friend made!!! We went out to eat tonight thanks to someone who left a Colie's Cafe card at the RMH for us...I KNOW I am not going to do all the thank you cards that I should! I hadn't even sent out my thank yous for our adoption and I am so sorry! Believe me I was raised better!!! My Aunt probably is rolling in her grave about now! I had planned to have our family picture made and send it out with a card for everyone who gave to our adoption....I never had the time to get it done...and now I don't think I will ever be able to thank everyone like I should! I am so sorry! We are so thankful, at times your generosity brings us to tears, we don't take it for granted at all. Our kids are just shocked at all the sweet things that have been done for us. I hope even if we don't ever thank you properly, we will remember and reach out to other families who are in crises situations in the future. I think my boys have learned how nice it is and how it makes you feel and they will grow up to do things for others. Thank you all so much!

Dreams of Adoption

If I were asked what my dreams for my life were, I'd say.....to see Selah healed & restored, for our family to stay healthy and close, and to go back to Ukraine to adopt 2 little boys and 1 little girl that caught our hearts....that's all I want in a nutshell....

We had some very tentative plans about adopting again, but they were real enough that we had talked to our facilitator about the children we were interested in. I actually told him we'd let him know if we were going to commit when we came home from our NY trip. We knew we'd have to see some real miracles if we were going to adopt three more kids but we have seen some real miracles of provision in both of our adoptions. We knew what God can do, it seems He moves heaven & earth to help orphans find homes!

Sometimes when I pray I remind God of what He has done for us and what we felt He had placed in our hearts to do. We were willingly to go back and get those three kids and give them a family. Our kids were totally with it and wanted to go get them! So I tell God we need a miracle for Selah in order to be able to do what we felt urged to do...

So I don't know if we will ever be able to adopt again, with the new responsibilities we have but let me encourage you to think about adoption. International adoption is wonderful. When I say it saves lives, I mean it saves lives, real lives... Having had the most beautiful opportunity to walk out the doors of two different orphanages holding my children, I can tell you the feeling is amazing! I think because it so closely mirrors what God does for us when He brings us into His family.

There is such need overseas. When you are there and you see with your eyes, then you become thankful for the safety net of the social care system in America. It may be flawed BUT it is so much better than what many countries have in place!

Thinking about so much tonight, but I just had to share about this. If I had a dollar for every person who has told me "I'd love to adopt BUT...." I say get your BUT out of the way:) there are some valid reasons why people can't adopt but IF it's just you don't think you can afford it or you think it's too hard, then don't let that stand in your way. If you think that you'll get everything perfect in your life and save all the money up to do it, things will never be perfect, Just Do It!

If you read back to Shad's story or the girls' story, you can see we were never at the place where things were perfect-far from it! LOL It seemed the two times we adopted, we were as far as we possibly could be from the perfect place! It looked like foolishness to adopt but we knew it was what we should do. How many of you have had hearts tugged at to adopt but dismissed it? Let me tell you there are real children, lying in orphanages all over the world who need real parents, right this very minute! I've seen hundreds of these children, and I can't look away!

Tonight I want to encourage you to step out in faith,if you feel that tug on your heart, start looking into adoption. Yes it is hard, I will not lie to you, the paperwork is hard, there are many hoops to jump through BUT the end result is so so very worth it!

I read different blogs, stories etc...and some people say different things about having the right motivation for adoption. I don't know what the "right" motivation is. All I know is we loved our kids from their pictures and pushed with everything we could to get to them as soon as we possible could! We wanted to rescue them, just like we'd want to rescue our biological children if they somehow ended up in an orphanage. We worried about the children during the whole process of adoption. Just like we'd worry about our biological kids. With the girls, we got to see them daily but it took over a month before we could take them out of the orphanage and I worried about them obsessively during that time. My biggest fear was that the institution would catch on fire. One night I was crying in our apartment, worrying that something would happen before we could take them out!

It's hard to explain adoption but the kids become your kids from their pictures. Meeting them in the flesh, is more sacred than meeting a president or king. It is such a holy moment. We didn't get Shad's or the girls' first meeting on video, it doesn't matter, it is so in my brain! In both meetings there were tons of other folks there, but I only had eyes for my kids, I couldn't tell you what was happening around me, just like childbirth in that sense of the focus is so on your child. What a precious privilege to have had those experiences!

So if you are reading this blog of mine, there is a good chance that you are interested in adoption. If you are eligible, pray about it, don't let fear hold you back. If you want any personal advice please feel free to contact me at
theclanton5@aol.com If you are moved by the things you have read on my blog, do something, if you can, adopt. If you can't adopt then help another family in some way to bring a child home. I feel the bible is pretty clear that we should help orphans but that is not necessarily why we adopted. We adopted because our children somehow were living in orphanages in other countries and needed to come home! They are not our "project" or "our ticket to heaven" they are our precious children that we are honored to be their parents. We were blessed to be allowed to adopt them and have them in our lives!

It seems people find it hard to believe that we adopted because we NEEDED the kids. We didn't know how much we needed them in our lives. We needed them to be the family we are. We're not saints, not in the least bit but we listened to God and we heard His voice and He told us that our lives would be changed as the children's lives were changed. We had no idea of the joy that would come out of adopting.

Right now our hearts ache because our little girl is injured but she is still our jewel. Truly even knowing how hard this would all be, we are so glad she came into our lives. We hate that she has gone through this, she deserves so much more than this but we are going to still ensure she has the best life.

So as always pray for Selah. But also pray for two little boys and a little girl who are sleeping tonight in an adult mental institution, pray that God will send a family for them. It might not be us, but pray that someone will come for them. All three of them have Downs syndrome. They are precious. We were able to play with the little boys quite a bit but I never saw the little girl out of her bed. So many people are reading my blogs and praying for Selah and us, I know you will add these three children to your prayers. We "named" them Sally, Seth, and Silas. (yes I know we are a bit crazy with the S names but once you start, you can't just quit doing it cause the child you name something else will wonder why they didn't get an S name...) But I have to say after these three names we are out of names:) We try to keep them Biblical but Sally pushes it (it is a derivative of Solomon)


Thank you for your prayers as always! Let me warn you, I started praying for Sarah and 4 days later we were doing the paperwork to go get her:)