Day 115 FOS ~ Great pictures and an answered prayer

Last night I had just finished writing my blog and had just logged off when I went into Selah's room and saw this.....

 

So I moved her a tiny bit and the ONE hand went right back to her mouth!

 

 

Then I totally moved her to see what she would do and the hand went back and she made a sucking sound!!!

 

That is PURPOSEFUL movement!!!!!!!

 

 

Her nurse had also seen her do it earlier:)  She hasn't done it yet again but she did it for over an hour!!!!!!

 

 

Today was a great day and here is Selah working out on tummy time!

 

 

She is rocking her new shirt:)

 

She has grown so much since the accident, from size 3 to a size 6 or 7!  No muscle atrophy with this kid!!!

 

Today was just wonderful for Selah and she is more and more alert every day.  She still needs prayers but being off Valium for almost a week now is the best thing ever!  I'm all about less medicine if it can be done safely!

 

Here is Sarah on her Christmas present !

Going....

Going....

 

Gone!

 

She LOVES this "peanut therapy ball"!  Thanks Bell Shore Baptist!!!  This is her absolute favorite thing to play with/on.  She can see it from a foot away which is shocking but we've tested her and she lunges for it a foot away from her face!  Of course it is BLUE and big:)  She spends hours a day on it!

 

 

Brotherly love (with daddy laying on the floor playing with Sarah in the background)

Awww

Shad carried my books at the library today.  I am reading with my reading material if Selah ends up in the hospital after surgery.  We are hoping for an out patient procedure and will find out on Friday.

 

 

Sam has learned to squat, he thinks it is funny and is trying to learn to jump like a frog:)  This is a boy who didn't walk until he was 3 years old:)

 

I have all these great pictures of the little ones but none of Steve, he has been so busy doing schoolwork.  He is amazing me with his love/attention he is showing to Russian.  He will work on it for hours.  If we ever go back he can be our translator:) 

 

Homeschooling has gone smoothly, I just checked Shad's tests and he made 100's on 4 of them and only missed one question on Math.  They both have applied themselves like I've never seen and it's making it easy for me.  Steve has made a B or above on all 7 of his tests he has already taken !!  I'm really proud of my boys!

 

So please keep praying for Selah!  Pray that she will continue to make the thumb sucking motions.  I never thought I'd want one of my kids to suck their thumb but I do!  Sucking is great, she was doing it in NY but like many other skills she didn't do in while in the "Rehab" hospital.  She was never given a chance to do so.  It made her swallow last night.  The hand movement is BIG and if it continues a major good thing.  I know kids often do something, to never do it again when there is brain damage, Sam certainly has done that but I'm praying that this will continue with Selah:)

 

 

Day 114 Fish Oil Study ~ Great Day!

What a GREAT day today:)

Our PT was able to come again today and she worked with Selah for an hour!  She put her on her tummy.  The way she did it was to put a Baby Boopy pillow that I had found at a thrift store under her and put her on her knees and elbows.  We used a small exercise ball (the kind that is small and weighted) for Selah to put her forehead on and she did great!  It's really good for her posture and back and everything.  Her knees bent so nice and it didn't seem to bother her.  She just looked so good, I was so excited to see her "working out ' like that. 

The therapist also worked with Sam and Sarah and they thoroughly enjoyed themselves, they were happy, happy, happy! 

Steve and Shad are doing great in homeschooling, I have to admit I was a bit worried but it's gone good.  Shad is flying through things and very serious about his work.  He really wants to get far ahead in his books .  Their curriculum lets them work at their own pace.  Steve is enjoying Russian.  I can't believe it.  He is so into it with his headset on and is mumbling Russian words over in the corner of our living room (the only place the wifi works in the house) 

Shad and I had dentists appointments today.  We've had exceptional dental insurance for years and we take great care of our kids' teeth but I HATE HATE HATE the dentist!   Everyone tells me I have such nice looking teeth....I don't understand why they look as good as they do because I only go to the dentist about once a decade because I have a tooth that needs to be pulled.  Well today I "put on my big girl panties" and had my first teeth cleaning.  Ok sorry if that grosses you out, but I'd never done it before and really had to use some calming breathing techniques to get through it.  I also have some gum loss and had to have antibiotics put in my gums at a few places.  But all in all for as little tooth care as I've had, my teeth were pretty good. 

Let me tell you why I have such a fear of the dentist....when I was a little girl back in Perry, we had only one dentist that I knew of...another one came when I was a teenager but ...by then I was scared!  Dr P was above the Old Emporium (our "everything" store)  and you had to get to his office by walking up the longest, steepest, staircase.  You'd go into a tiny office and sit and wait....then you'd be ushered back by his receptionist, our neighbor who was one of my good friend's mom.  Then you were in THE chair, terrified...I am not sure he even used Novocain or anything to take out teeth or to fill cavities.  It was awful!  It's funny I've reconnected with many childhood friends and we have all shared our TERROR of the dentist TO THIS DAY!   I've blocked out many memories of going there and for some reason it seemed my aunt was quite faithful to take me to the dentist.  Of course we didn't have fluoride or anything in the water.  I remember in school, all of us having to take fluoride in class and swill it around in our mouths and then spit it back in the cups.  Anyway I have such a phobia about dentists but going to our dentist with the kids has helped me.  We've been going there about 2 years before we took our kids to a pediatric dentist but he was too far and his waiting room was always total chaos so we switched to this family dental place, Bright Now Dentist  in Wesley Chapel.  I thought if I was taking the kids there, it would make me go, well it took awhile but I finally did go!   They've done so good with our kids and been so sweet to us that I just began to trust them.    Anyway I have sparkling clean teeth tonight and have conquered my fear (to some degree lol) 

Then Shad and me went to Sam's and bought all the fun frozen stuff.  It was nice to have time just with Shad and we had a blast.  I LOVE going to Sam's, my whole "Doomsday Preppers" personality wants to come through when I am there:) 

Tonight I came home and cooked a meal that I LOVE ~ Spinach Shells  I'd been craving that for months!  It's so good and easy

Box of big shells
frozen box of spinach ( or you can cook down fresh spinach- I do sometimes.  If I am using the          frozen kind I get the straight kind, not the kind that is creamed it's healthier)
bag of mozzarella cheese (i usually buy the fat free kind)
16 oz carton of ricotta cheese  (again usually the fat free if I can find it or reduced fat)
3 eggs ( egg beaters)
oregano  ( i probably use 2 or 3 tablespoons full I love it)
Parmesan cheese ( kraft reduced fat- 3 tables spoons)
pepper (as much as you want)
jar of Basil Pesto
olive oil

cook and drain the shells
combine all the ingredients except for the pesto and olive oil  I use the mixer, it's faster
spoon the mix into the shells
Spoon the pesto over the shells-it's thick so you might want to break it up with olive oil, I actually do about half and half. 
put in a big casserole dish and bake for 30 minutes at 350 degrees

ENJOY!  I did garlic bread and a salad with it ....YUM!!!!!!!!

This actually makes me two casserole dishes so you can freeze one or cook both.  Since Jon and me are the only ones who will really eat this in our house I usually freeze it.  the kids ate turkey sandwiches...silly kids!

Please keep praying for Selah....

The last two days I've woke up with a peace about things.  I'm beginning to enjoy Selah where she is at more than I mourn what she lost.  Thank you all for the prayers for me!   This is quite a journey, one I've never been on and one that is lonely.  Life's responsibilities weight on me heavy at times.  I don't know where things will end up with her recovery.  Someone asked in the comments "how will we know when she wakes up?"  Its really hard to explain.  I ask different doctors and get different answers.  Some say she is out of the coma and in a Persistent vegetative state and some say she is in a Minimally Conscious state (which is better than the PVS)  I don't know where the coma ends and the brain damage begins......  I had an idea of what a coma was before this, now I don't know!

BUT we will know her brain is repairing itself when she begins to do more things and make progress.  She had regressed so much while we were at the Rehab Hospital that I feel she is now just making up for the lost two months!  She is swallowing now throughout the day like she used to in NY, she is more responsive again like she was while in NY and much much calmer and has an easier time dealing with stress. 

I'd LOVE to see more Purposeful movement, eyes that always responded to a threat, much more SWALLOWING and a gag reflux!  Please pray for that for Selah!!!

Day 113 Fish Oil Study

Well Selah woke us up this morning at 5 am with a very dirty diaper and bed!  In 17 years of being a mom, this took the cake:)  LOL  Since I was up, I started on my "to do' list early and got a ton of things done.  The little kids all had Physical Therapy with our at home therapist who will also be here tomorrow.  She was very positive about Selah having the foot/ankle surgery and she feels it will greatly improve Selah's life!  In my gut I felt it was the right thing to do and was glad to hear it confirmed by a professional.

Getting up so early helped me get everyone going and all the kids had a good day.  Shad is flying through his schoolwork and Steve is also doing great.  I did some errands today and again ran into sweet friends who blessed me by telling me how they'd been thinking and praying for us!  I dropped off a load of things at one of my favorite thrift stores "God's Share Program" and the director blessed me with two cute brand new looking shirts for Selah! 

I have some great news!  One of the three children that we had thought abut going back to Ukraine to adopt left his orphanage today with his family!  We are so thrilled for him and for this sweet family!!  So thankful that his life was rescued....  This coming week  a family is going to get one of the girls that we spent alot of time with at the institution.  She wanted a family with all her heart and now she will have one of her very own!  So very thankful!!!   Another family is leaving for a boy and a girl there that we spent some time with interacting.  They will soon be in a family!  And of course soon Sally's family is coming! 

But.... (this tribute by another family)

"Stacey  is dead. Yes, I am not sugar coating it by saying it nicely. She died. Alone. Never having the joy of having a mommy and daddy to hold her and look at her sweet face saying I love you, your life is worth something.

We met Stacey ...when we were adopting Gabe and Levi. She was in Gabe's room. This year she was transferred from the baby orphanage to the mental institution.

The Bible says, "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."

Is this true when we do nothing? Whatever you don't do for the least of these, you've done to me.

Please just keep this in mind when you see me or others asking, begging, for help in raising funds to bring these orphans home.

Stacey had a family coming for her. But it was too late."

 

 

 

This little girl died...with a family coming...that was my fear for our Sarah as she was so little and weak.  I'm so sorry for this little girl and for the family that must be grieving.  

 

This is real stuff, a little bit more important than taking care of an animal, more important than new clothes at the mall or a cruise.....more important that a chandelier in your church's foyer.....

I know many of you pray for Selah daily and thank you so much for that!  Tonight will you pray for the orphans of the world?  Pray that God will raise up familes to open their hearts and home to them.  Thank you!

 

 

Day 112 Fish Oil Study

Selah did really good this morning at church and seemed interested.  She was moving her head around alot.   We have weaned her off Valium completely:)  We'll only give it if it is needed and she hasn't needed it for 5 full days!  I also forgot to tell you all that I did the gtube change last week by myself.  We are certainly learning more and more how to care for Selah.  With not having a night nurse on the weekend, it's actually ok with me.  I'd rather do everything than to have issues with some new nurse.  When you deal with home health care nurses, the good ones all have stable cases and you might get the less skilled ones until you are established.  Our main day nurse had just had a patient pass away and our main night nurse had had a patient move.  That is how we ended up with them as full time.  Our other two day nurses also had openings.  These other ones they've tried to send are either ones that no other family will have or they have no experience.....  So it is easier to just do things myself at night until we get the right one! 

I'm hearing news reports that we might have snow this week!  SNOW in Florida at the end of February!  OH MY!  If it snows I will take pictures:)  Last time it snowed down here in Florida was in the late 70's early 80's, so much for global warming:)  I'll be bringing in plants I'm sure, glad I didn't plant my square foot gardens yet.

Sarah and Sam

 

 

 

 

Sarah likes to touch Sam

 

 

 

 

Sam does not like Sarah to touch him

the kids leaving church holding hands without anyone telling them, how sweet is this?

 

We had some old friends visit our church today and some new friends:)  That made for a good day.

 

 

 

Our one year anniversary with the girls will be coming up soon and I'm going to post every day what we were doing last year.  When we were in Ukraine I badly neglected my blog but I wrote on FB.  I have many great pictures that I took and dated on my laptop which will help me reconstruct our 6 weeks there.   People said not to post on our blog and thee were some odd things going on but I regret not posting now.  We left on March 30th and came home on May 9th.  It was a wonderful time.

 

When I had each of my boys there is just such a glow around the memories of thie birth and the days that followed.  It was the same with Shad and certainly the same with the girls.  Everything was magical and amazing to us.  The whole process and memories is bathed in a glow for me....I'll check my fb posts to make sure it was glowing as much as I remember LOL.  But it really was an amazing time. 

 

We all fell in love with Ukraine.  I didn't feel like that in China at all.  I didn't feel much connection to anyone there.  I was alone for one thing, then I stayed at 5 star hotels and totally isolated from the Chinese.  I flew from Chengdu to Guagadoz rather than take the train.  Everyone wanted to practice English on me....So basically I was a tourist at Disney world....Ukraine was a whole different ballgame!  We lived as Ukrainians did, took the over night trains from hell, ate whatever we could get at the store and no one cared at all about trying to speak English to us!  It was no Disney World but it was wonderful and we loved every minute of it:)  Even the god awful train ride.  It would put hair on your chest:)  I'm looking forward to blogging about our adventures and putting out photos. 

 

Please keep praying for Selah.  We all want to see some changes in her....she is very peaceful and content but we long to see her alert and responsive.  She is pretty alert most of the day and has a normal sleep rhythm.  We really want to see more responds to us

 

 

Selah last night with just mommy and daddy as her nurses:)  She was rocking the purple and almost asleep when I took this. 

 

Day 111 Fish Oil Study ~ Gardens of time

Selah is having a good day, very calm and she has her great weekend Catholic monk nurse...he is super good with her and a joy to be around.  He took her out some today as we were all out enjoying the sunshine and cleaning out the septic tank at the same time LOL

 

Actually this picture just looks like they were all contemplating a hole on the ground

Thanks to some men at our church and our wonderful neighbor who lent us his tractor the job of cleaning out the septic tank only took a few hours instead of all day.  We have great neighbors like our friend that lent us the tractor, another neighbor has watched our house when we were gone AND while we are home and brought us the nicest fruit basket!  Another moved our dumpster when it rained with his tractor!  We all ban together out here.   I honestly think everyone had good "clean" fun today.  I enjoy work days at the church, of course I wasn't shoveling out the tank either LOL!  They did send me to Lowe's to get some concrete, well sending me to Lowes is like sending other women to the mall!  I love the smell of it and the garden section is my undoing.  I actually bought some flower plants today.  I usually focus on veggies but I enjoy some flowers too.  I bought two lavender plants that I put in big barrels by our outside swing.  I'm looking forward to them growing and smelling sweet all summer long

And it is basically summer here now. i enjoyed seeing the snow but I am a Florida girl all the way.  I live in shorts and flip flops.   I got a bit sunburned today.  It was around 90 degrees out in the sun but I love it!  The job went so quick and easy for the church and then I got to play in my garden:)   I grew up with us having a huge garden, everyone had gardens.  My aunts and granny worked their gardens well into their 80's and their gardens would put mine to shame.  They also canned everything.  I just wasn't interested in doing any of that back then.  Oh I wish I could go back and learn some gardening tips from them!  I helped by picking the corn or feeding the chickens but I never planted anything.  I did like to shuck the corn, I'd find the "corn worms" and let them crawl all over my hand.  Of course I'd save them which drove everyone crazy but they were such pretty worms! 

I can remember sitting in the backyard under the pecan trees shucking corn with my aunts.  We'd sit out there and talk and they'd tell me stories about growing up in the early part of the 1900's.  I wish I'd written the stories down.  My one great aunt was born in 1899!  She had stories of Indians in rural Florida.  She hated Indians to say the least, still was afraid of them in the 70's LOL  They all grew up in the north west cornor of Dixie County which is just south of Perry Florida where I grew up.  The stories they had of the Great War and World War II, the depression, the great flu epidemic, just amazing stuff.  They lost two brothers in World War I and one in World War II.  Their grandpa was a civil war veteran, on the South's side of course!  They saw such history!  Maybe my renewed love of gardening somehow connects with them.  I can't think of any of them without thinking of their gardens, their house plants or their cooking   It certainly was a simple time. 

We also had a huge grapevine.  My uncle had put it up on steel rods and it was tall enough for an grown up to walk under.  It probably was 800 square feet.   I had a swing under there and spent much of my summer reading and playing under there.  Friends used to come and pick grapes and spend time under it talking.    I can remember hearing ALL kinds of gossip when the grown ups would forget I was there hehehe!  Although I'm sure it was sizzling...I've forgotten it all!

Of course we had a screened in front porch.  In front of it were HUGE azalea plants.  Tall as a man!  So we always had shade on the front porch and the sound of bees.  We'd sit outside at dark and they'd snap peas if it was in season and we'd sing.  My Aunt Ruby loved "Just over in the Glory Land"  I can remember sitting out there on summer nights and singing with her.   Occasionally we sing that in our church as our music minister always includes some of the oldies but goodies and I seldom can get through it without crying.   Good memories!

Well we had an interesting time last night.... a nurse was supposed to come and interview with us at 10 pm for the 2 night shifts that we don't have filled.  She didn't come till 11 pm and then was "using her outside voice" even tho I asked her to be quiet as my kids were all in bed.  She was amazing in the fact that she was so unprofessional... Needless to say I told her she wasn't needed.  She seemed shocked...LOL  I was under the impression she was coming from a nursing job but oh no she told me that she and her husband had gone out and that is what took so long.  We even wondered if she had been drinking.  Nope, don't think that is going to work with us!  I'm so thankful for our main nursing staff, they are incredible!  Each of them is different but they care for Selah and we enjoy them.  We only have 2 night shifts that need to be filled.  At this point I'd rather do it although there is always that fear that something will go wrong.  We had two other people in that position and both made big mistakes in Selah's care.  I figure I can do better than that.  I think we've been luckier than most in the nurses we've gotten that work our regular shifts.  They are the kind of nurses you want taking care of your family!!

Please keep praying for Selah!  I really do thank you for everytime you've thought of her. 

Day 110 Fish Oil Study ~Where have all the cats gone and gold toilets!

How many days will I number for the fish oil study?  I'm giving it 6 months of a daily update and then I'll do it when ever we see changes.

Today the nurse and I took Selah to see our regular pediatrician.  He is a wonderful doctor and has been a great help to me over the years.  Dr W has common sense, which seems to be lacking in the medical field and he has no ego.  Amazing right?  We think the world of him as do many of my friends who go to him also.  It was quite emotional for me.  I just started crying from the moment I signed in up at the front desk.  Everyone is so kind and I know they care and are rooting for us.  I managed to hold myself together after awhile and we got some good things done and decided on.  I've always been thankful for his help with Sam and the other kids but I think this journey will be easier by having him working with us.  She has had a good day, and has remained stable.  Her pre-op is next Friday and then she will have surgery on March 5th.

We rushed home to interview a nurse to take the two open night shifts.  It didn't work out but we have another one coming to meet us tonight. 

Then Jon and I took the other kids out to eat a late lunch.  It's the first time we've been out just us since we've been home.  We go out with folks from our church on Sundays but this was just us.  I had ran into an old friend at the doctor's who had somehow not heard of what had happened to us.  Then all through the day wherever I went I ran into folks who told me they'd been thinking and praying for us.  It really meant alot to hear that!

Steve actually used his gift cards he had gotten for Christmas today!  All I can say is life has been busy!  But he got some good stuff and was a happy boy:)

We've had an unusual problem the last 9 months....  It started right after we came home from Ukraine.  I have taken care of about 20-25 cats that lived at the church.  Most of them I had gotten fixed but occasionally a new one would pop up, usually pregnant of course.  When we moved here 7 years ago, there were about 20 and the number stayed pretty consistent for years.  Some I"d find homes for, some would disappear or get killed on the road, some would get sick or hurt and I'd have to have them put to sleep....but some had been here for a decade or so.   Then they started disappearing sometimes two or three a week.  That just didn't happen!  Cats seldom left here!  Since last June we have "lost" 21 cats and are down to just 6 (we were up to 27)  We have few neighbors and the ones we have are great, they are all wondering what has happened too.  They are all animal lovers and we know they did nothing to hurt them.  We are thinking either a panther or maybe someone let loose a python in the woods/swamp behind our house.   We have NO idea!  Obviously we lived here for years and I know we have bobcats (seen a few) and foxes in the woods.  But we don't hear anything nor do we find any evidence whatsoever!   So of the cats left only one is a really tame one.  He is what we call an original church cat, he was a kitten when we moved here.  So tonight Smokey  left with our day nurse who loves cats!  We hope this will give him a good chance!   I'm down to one dog, our friends kept our inside dog Sweety. And I'm down to 5 stray cats, only one that I can pet.  This is very different for me, the animal rescuer!  But with our life like it is, I don't want to deal with an animal in the house and we certainly don't want any new ones outside, since we've had all these odd disappearances.  When the disappearances first started in June I had the boys sleep on the floor of the little kids' room for a few nights.  I really got it in my mind that it was a python, and all I could think is it would come in our house and try and get one of the little ones! 

So that's our big mystery.....


Tomorrow is going to be a "fun" day....the guys will be digging out the church's old septic tank....We have redone just about everything here at our church.  To be nice, let's just say it was put together with various ideas of what was proper and at various times by various people.....LOL   We have spent the past 7 years WORKING or raising money to redo things.  Our goal was to get it up to code....and we did remodel it which was badly needed.  We knew the septic was going to be an issue.  Thankfully it seems that sand has gotten in the tank and it just needs to be taken out.  It's not nasty or anything thank God!  We will put in a new system but we like to raise the money FIRST so we are going to fix it tomorrow and then work on raising the money and hopefully have it done in the next few months.   Knowing when we came here that there was a lot of physical work to be done on the buildings was daunting as my husband is not a mechanical man nor do we believe in being extravagant in our remodeling as there are so many needs in the world, you won't find a gold toilet here!  One time I was at a conference and another pastor's wife was showing pictures of their remodel of the parsonage (that's the house the pastor lives in )  bathroom.  She said it "only" cost $10,000!!!!   I was looking for some gold toilets and I quite sarcastically said that we'd just finished remodeling the WHOLE parsonage and it only cost about $7,000!!!   I don't have a "poverty mindset" BUT I do think ALOT of pastors need to rethink their priorities!   I think the Catholics have it right when they talk about taking "vows of poverty"   I'm not saying that you can't have a decent house or car but....we should be careful where we spend money especially if it is God's money!!!!!   Somehow on that day we stand before God, I don't know if he will be too impressed abut a chandelier in the church foyer that cost  $20,000!   I think he'd want the money spent to reach people!   I cringe sometimes when I go in churches.....Just being honest!   So this is our next to the last big project....we think we will have to work on the A/C system one day......  Our church was started in the 1940's and many things had not been changed since then!   There are MANY things that you do not learn in Bible school...I could really teach an interesting class or two now LOL

Please keep praying for Selah....I'm really struggling with sadness right now.  During the course of a day, it comes over me like a wave......  The memories are everywhere.....from her little pink car to going somewhere that we last went together to, like the doctor ~ we went there as a family for Sam and Sarah's pre op right before we left for NY.  .  I feel cheated as a mom!  Cheated out of seeing her develop in many ways.  Even cheated from getting to dress her up....she loved her clothes and I loved dressing her cute.  I knew being home would make me feel this so profoundly.  And God does it ever......

Day 109 FISH OIL STUDY

 

This morning the boys dug out the septic tank (at least to the cover) and I worked on my container garden.  I hung a bunch of strawberry plants up and you can see my green "upside down tomato plants" and the ones on the ground are herbs.  I still have some more to plant but ran out of soil.  Hopefully next week I can do my square foot gardens.  This is my 4th year doing them.  They need to be cleaned out really good because some grass has grown in them.  Then I'll add some more soil and new plants:)  I love to garden!!!  There is just something about the smell of dirt and plants...the sun shining, it just makes me feel alive!

 

Selah had a good day, went outside for awhile with the nurse and has been doing fine.  I love that we have to hold almost all her blood pressure meds now!  She is rarely outside the parameters for needing them!  We also have been holding the Valium as she is so calm.  I LOVE it!  The less medicines the better!  She is really happy to be home and shows it by being calm and at peace.  That means alot to me.

 

I ran into some friends at the store today that I haven't seen since the accident.  Glad to know of the many prayers for Selah and our family! 

 

Things/Life is just really hard for me right now.  To be honest I am quite thankful that I'm so busy, it helps me cope.  I'm not a person who needs alot of down time anyhow.  Right now I"m going from the second I get up till I go to bed and thankfully I have no problem going to sleep!  Jon's the same way, he is so busy.  And it's good for us.

 

I feel like we are at a place where we are just waiting....waiting for something to happen.....we have alot of decisions to make in the future but right now we are just hunkered down and living our lives.  It is so obvious that we are going to have to do something about our home.  We keep hoping that Extreme Home Make Over will drive their bus up some morning....LOL  but if that doesn't happen, we are probably going to look at buying or building a house since this is not our home.  We really will need lifts for Selah and a room and bathroom fit for her.  Right now we are just making do with things. 

 

BUT I keep hoping that a miracle will happen where we won't need any of that stuff!  I'd be just so happy in my little house stuffed with kids!  I was happy before! 

 

I just keep remembering that dream I had right after the accident, I want it to come true so bad! 

 

Sorry I"ve been down but again, but this is my real life.....

 

So glad the book of Psalms is included in the Bible.  David was so up and down and he wrote about it.  I feel the same way often within minutes of it LOL   I do hope in God and God alone....  but I feel such despair at times.

 

Please keep praying for Selah!!!!  THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR PRAYERS!