Friday, May 3, 2013

Thankfulness.....

 
 
 
 
Last night things were ok but Selah is still having high heart rates even tho she is not storming.  All her nurses agree that something is just "off".  I don't know what to think.  She does ok until about 3 am and then she has high heart rates 120's and above consistently from then on.  Her PT came today and she did ok through that and even had a regular low heart rate for about 2 hours.  But the rest of today has been in the 100's which is "ok" but not really normal.  Please keep praying!  With me leaving, it is all a bit overwhelming!!!
 
Sarah had PT today and did not want to cooperate at all.  She just sat down and wouldn't walk.  It was too funny we managed to get her up and going but it was like she was saying"I'm tired of this walking stuff, just carry me!"  Usually she likes to use her walker but it is hard work for her.  Her PT does think now she may need just a small brace on her legs for awhile, she still turns her feet in, not as much as she used to, but it's not going away. 
 
Sam and I leave Sunday night.  I haven't packed or even printed out my tickets LOL  if I don't think about it, I don't have to worry!  I will be so glad to see Dr A on Monday.  We are so thankful for him and for his love for our son.  Dr A is an amazing man!  I'll be glad to see all our friends at the Ronald McD House and Dr A's staff.  Plus one of my BFFs from college Charlene and her husband and 5 kids moved to that area a few years ago.  We will be together Monday afternoon:)  What a blessing to have my dear friend there!  She took care of my kids right after the accident for about 3 or 4 days until some family could arrive.  I didn't have to worry at all about them because I knew Charlene was with them. 
 
This morning after my walk I went and got some mulch to finish my little corner of our yard. Steve and me did it in a triangle shape, using the fence line.  It really was a bit of work.  I was sweating so bad that my eyes were burning from the sweat falling in them before we were done.   Here is a picture of me AFTER I cleaned up LOL
 
 
 
By this time it was after lunch time and very hot, but in the mornings, this stays shaded and it is just beautiful.

 
We had a "fun Friday Family" Day, that's what Shad calls it.  We went out to  eat and then to the mall to trade in some of the boys video games.  I got the new MADEA movie:)  "Madea Gets a Job"  We will be watching it tonight!  I love Madea:)
 
 
Sarah and me

 
Shad and Steve

 
I love how Sarah looks at me when I talk to her

 
Sam and his daddy
 
 
Last night I was lying in bed and praying and I just thought how BLESSED I am.  Sure we have challenges but we are so blessed.    I saw this on FB and thought "WOW just what I was thinking last night!"
 
 
Last night I was just overwhelmed by how much God has blessed us.  You might think I'm crazy but it's true.  I was lying in a relatively clean bed (lol with kids you never know whose feet have been where )   in a cool house, with the ceiling fan whirling over head.  I had ALL my children under one roof, my husband was lying next to me (snoring) it was raining (which is great for the garden)  We had a night nurse so I knew I'd be able to sleep (NEVER will I take sleep for granted again!)  We don't make alot of money, but we don't have a bunch of bills.  We have two decent vans, we have family and friends and a church....
 
the ONLY thing else I want is Selah back....and for the seven of us to live healthy, long lives together and all of eternity together. 
 
That's it....I can deal with Sam's, Sarah's and Selah's (former) physical and mental delays.  I can deal with Shad's physical impairment.  I love my little house and yard and garden....There is nothing I'd change if I could just have Selah back. 
 
BUT I know that may not happen this side of eternity....
I'm still thankful...
Thankful I can TRUST my heavenly Father even when it is tough going....
 
God has somehow taught me to be content.  For years I was not a content person...but after I had Sam and we "lost" so much, I "found" contentedness...it was a pretty good trade!
 
------------------------------------------------------
 
 
So a year ago was our last "normal" day at the orphanage.  Again I did not take pictures!  I could just slap myself!   I remember it because it was the last day and we played with all the kids....I said goodbye to Little P (who we are raising money for)  She wasn't out with the other kids EVER so I asked if the nanny would go get her.  She was sound asleep and I fear drugged at noon time.  She couldn't even hold her head up.  I wanted to demand to know what was wrong but there was no one to translate for me so it was impossible.  We said goodbye in our hearts to all the children.  They wouldn't understand and our emotions were high.  We knew Friday would be a crazy day, running all around the province getting paperwork done that we wouldn't even see our girls until sometime on Saturday when we 'd pick them up.  We didn't think we'd see many of the children on the weekend as we usually didn't. 
 
It was unreal that so soon we'd be walking out with the girls in our arms!  During that week I got so fearful that the orphanage would catch on fire before we could get them out.  That has happened just recently in Russia in an adult mental institution, just like what our girls were in.  We had a missionary who had worked in a country near there who had had that same experience in a place where he used to minister, so every night we'd pray for their safely and all the residents there.  There were very few caregivers on the weekends, I shudder to think how the nights were......
 
We started off that day trying to find a vet to give the kittens shots as the director had graciously allowed us to bring them there.  We couldn't find a vet
 
 

 

 
Here are some of our last pictures with those little cuties....

 
 

 
 

 
 

 
 

 
 
 

 
 
they were given to the care of one of the older adult girls and she loved cats.  In the end, two of them went home with staff and one stayed.  I just got a picture of the one who stayed and she is a big girl:)
 
The day before I had found the girls' "gotcha dresses" at the market. 

 
 

 
 

 
I could not wait to put those dresses on the girls!!!!!
 
Here is a window cleaner near our apartment
 

 
I watched this group of older ladies every day.  they'd come out and feed the cats, birds, and play with local children.  I finally snapped their picture

 
 

 
---------------------------------------------------
 
a year ago I was a happy thankful person....a whole new life was going to start for our family and for our girls...
 
Now I am still a happy thankful person....another life, that we did not expect has started and although it is not quite the life we had planned, we still know God is with us.  This year I'm not the same, I've carried a heavy load in my heart for months now, but I still Trust the same God that I was praising last year and I still praise Him.  God is still good....

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Update-----Garden------Ukraine Kittens-----church picnic

Orphan Project Update!  I received two checks today both for $100 and both from Pennsylvania!  Thank you all so much!
We now have $600 towards our goal of $1000 for the two little girls from my girls' orphanage.  I can NOT wait to see pictures of L and P with their family!  We have a nice long month of May to raise money for them!!!
 

 
Thank you for giving so they can have a family!!!!!
 
--------------------------------------
 
 
 
Selah had a little bit better night last night.  She still had to have extra meds, but her alarm only went off a couple of times instead of going off for 2 hours straight.  No storming, but still not where she needs to be with her heart rate.  it's still have odd spikes but they are usually not as high.  She has been up and outside today in her chair.  We are having great weather here:)   One of my readers sent a beautiful CD of worship music for her.  We are going to try it tonight for her...thank you for the CD from Georgia:)
 
 
We have had rain, overcast skies for the last few days and my plants are going nuts:)  I LOVE rainy weather and how nice and green everything is here.   After I walked this morning, I went and bought a few more Okra plants (we LOVE okra) and a new vine for our fence.  When I got home, I planted it and weeded the garden in a nice misty rain.  I was a mess when I was finished but it was easy to work in air condition LOL! 
 
After walking I saw all these "swamp birds"  aka Sandhill Cranes.  for some crazy reason, they are my favorite birds LOL
 
 
 

 
 

 
 
 
And here are some pictures of my beautiful garden!!!
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
my new vine!

 
collards


 
Lavender  I have 3 pots of it and it smells so good!

 
the Jasmine vine really has taken off this year!  I love the smell of it too

Squash on steroids

 
 

Potatoes!  They are pretty plants with flowers on top.  We get lots of butterflies for them!
 
My garden has done so well this year!  I've already harvested lettuce, spinach, all kinds of herbs, tomatoes and tons of collards:)  I grow 100% organically.  It's probably actually more expensive than buying veggies but I enjoy the work and it teaches the boys about work and how to grow veggies, so all in all it's worth it. 
 
Walking and Gardening are two of my favorite things to do.  Don't I sound like an old middle aged woman?  LOL  Come walk with me some day or work on my garden with me and you'll know I can kick butt LOL!
 
--------------------------------------------------
 
A year ago today we took some pictures of the kittens as we knew we'd be leaving soon!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 



 
 

 
 
 

 
 

 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
After the orphanage, we went on a church picnic.  Across the street from the apartment we stayed in was a large forest behind the Russian church.  It was like one huge city block so the north edge of it was up by the Pentecostal church and grave yard.  So we were invited to go on their picnic.
 
Beautiful park

 

 
 

 
 

 
 

 
Lake Torez

 
 

 
 
 

 
 

 
 


the church playing volley ball




 
 

 
 

 
the dirt road we walked up

 
Church

 
they even had christian music playing

 
Me and my baby on a blanket!

 
 

 
Me and my two babies on a blanket

 
Jon

 
view from blanket but something happened to the pic:(

this lady looks so much like a friend of mine....it was eerie!
 
 
 
So this was a Wednesday last year.  We only had ONE more normal day then Friday was going to be the crazy day of running around as our 10 day wait period was over and all the girls paperwork was released to us.  We were so excited!!!!!!  We'd get the girls for good on Saturday so things were speeding up. 
 
In spite of hardly being able to wait to get the girls, I knew our time was drawing to a close and I didn't want to leave.  I was ready for American food as I lost about 15 pounds there and my clothes hung off me but other than food...I could have just stayed where I was. 
 
Of course I knew the big tests were coming, traveling by train with 3 handicapped children was NOT going to be easy.  Then all the appointments in Kiev to get the girls their visas....and the BIG trip home....alot was coming up, all unknowns.....
 
Oh if I could only go back to this time last year.....I thought I treasured every moment....but I've learned now how to really treasure them.....