Look at my sweet girl out walking this morning!!!!!! She is such a hard worker. Sarah has an amazing sweet spirit. I know there had to have been someone who cared for her, maybe a nanny in the baby house loved her. Even tho Sarah has been through so much, she just is so very joyful. I'm so proud of all she does!!!!
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Food Section......
I've never been much of a kitchen gadget person till we kept having kids! Now I use a griddle to make pancakes, grill cheese, all kinds of things on.... No more one thing at a time in a skillet on the stove LOL
I SWEAR by our Magic Bullet! It is the greatest thing ever. Sarah still has not learned to chew her food. She was served big spoonfuls of whatever kind of mush and she would just let it go down her throat....I saw it one day...NOT a good day. But with the Magic Bullet, I can puree anything for her and she is so happy!
Now I have two new friends to join my kitchen team.....
I just got this. Yonanas.... you take a frozen banana push it through, followed by strawberries then another frozen banana....it comes out like ice cream custard! Sarah and me can eat us some bananas and strawberries! But it is not the easiest thing to use or to clean, I think it's worth the extra time because it is soooo good!
Today my bread machine was delivered. I had wanted one for a long time and finally found the one I wanted and ordered it. Right now I am making gluten free cinnamon raisin bread. In case you are wondering, none of us have an issue with gluten, it was just the only quick bread mix in the grocery store. I thought it would be easiest to figure it out with something simple. I'm just now starting to really use flour and things like that! It was very easy once I read the book. Everyone including the nurse is really excited to see how it turns out:) Smells good! (update, it tasted good too! I am a bread maker! whoohoo!!!!)
Well I finally made one of the crock pot recipe I wanted to share.....
1 pound of ground meat (we use grass fed beef)
1 can of Ro-tel tomatoes & chilies
16 oz box of the low fat Velveeta cheese
1 can of refried beans
Brown the meat and drain it
Combine everything into a crock pot, put on high and in an hour you have a good appetizer. I served it with Mexican chips.
Believe it or not, the Velveeta cheese is not that unhealthy. I got the lower fat one and it had no terrible ingredients and was not high in fat.
This trying to eat healthy is HARD!!!!!! I'm really trying. I figure if we eat healthy at home, and only eat out once or twice a week then it should even out. One thing I've done is go back to drinking sweet tea instead of Pepsi. For years I did not like my own tea, but either I 've gotten better or something but it tastes good to me now. I read that ANY kind of tea you drink is good for you. I prefer black tea, I know it's not as good as green tea but I can't get past the taste. My whole family ALL drank tea by the bucket loads and lived long relatively healthy lives. I put in just a little sugar and lots of lemons!
I used to buy frozen pancakes, now I buy flour, make them and freeze them myself, They are healthier and probably cheaper in the long run. The kids love them.
Before Selah's accident, I was such an organized person. I wonder where in the world did that girl go???? Now I am so not like that at all and I HATE it. Right now I have so many different projects I should be doing but I can't wrap my mind around them, important things like pay bills...make deposits.... I did with the help of my friend and our school secretary, get Shad enrolled for school next year and his scholarship packet done. Thank God, since the scholarship program closed today! So Shad is going back to the private school the kids have gone to for years but Steve is continuing in home school. When we started him on a home school program this year (which we had to do) legally he had to go under "an umbrella" that our school could not do. So we joined a national home school program that uses the same curriculum that our school uses. They have different requirements so if Steve were to go back to his old school some things would not transfer and I am afraid, he would not graduate next year! He did some books last fall when we thought we'd be home in a few weeks and none of that counted towards the other program!!! I feel bad for him but he doesn't seem to care about the whole thing. I think it bothers me more than it bothers him!
Anyhow, the organized Yvonne has disappeared, I don't know or like this unorganized person at all! Honestly I read about PTSS post traumatic stress syndrome and that is one big sign of it. I have no doubt that I have something like that. I just thank God that somehow He continues to bring me through it. This morning I woke up on the verge of a panic attack, it was like it was there grabbing at my throat all morning. I had an overwhelming fear of death....it was crazy...and this while I was just going about my business. I took one "happy pill" and a hot shower....I almost took another pill but I just focused on Who God is....NO MATTER WHAT.... He is still Lord of All, even if I drop dead, He is still the Creator of this world, even if I get cancer... He is still the Almighty God, even if we have an economic collapse !!!! (ok these were just a few of my fears this morning....LOL I like to cover ALL the bases with fears of what can happen, I try not to leave out any disaster)
I can sit back and objectively look at all we have been through in the past year and understand why I have this crazy panic attack stuff but I won't let it rule my life. I'm not too sure I have a choice about the waves hitting me, but I have learned how to ride the wave most of the time. I've not had to take a pill in weeks but I've felt a few coming on, and I just rode them out. The waves of sadness come like that too. Laying in bed the other night, memories just flooded my mind...of last summer, how perfect life was.... I know some people wouldn't understand how or why I thought life was perfect with 3 extremely handicapped kids BUT it was handicaps we were used to and it was nothing to us. We were in love with our GIRLS and couldn't believe how easy their adoption had been and the bonding. I can remember standing in the laundry room, doing laundry and Jon came in and I told him "I have never been anymore happier in my whole life than I am right now" I can remember being in the shower and praying and thanking God for the life He had given me. One specific prayer I prayed was "God keep us all healthy, let us have a long time together on earth and keep us safe" To me, my life was perfect last year. My heart was so very thankful. You have no idea how happy I was. I want to be able to give thanks in every situation (not FOR every situation but IN every situation) but it is HARD to do sometimes. Looking back, I'm glad I had those few weeks, 13 to be exact...I really do not think I'll ever be that happy again, this side of eternity.
Sometimes when I am alone (not too often) and driving the down the road, looking at the beautiful summer Florida sky, it seems like I can see into eternity and I can grasp that HOPE for just a split second. But that split second is enough for awhile to carry me through. It's a daily, struggle, a daily fight to be able to trust and not to be afraid. There really aren't words to describe how I feel sometimes. But I am so thankful for His strong arm, that I can lean on those Everlasting Arms...
Yesterday during my time out with my friend, we heard a bit of a conversation at another table. Some lady was saying to her friends, something like "you Are rich in Jesus's name" And they were talking about finances, we could hear enough of the conversation. Of course my eyes were rolling out of my head....my friend probably thought I was having a stroke or a seizure from stress LOL! So she and I started talking about how having money and NOT having to depend on God, keeps you poor in spirit. We both were able to share how God had come through for us time and time again (remember we both have FIVE kids so you know we need God!) We both had times we needed financial help and an unexpected check was in the mail box that very day....and you know that is so sweet! It's not like we laid around and waited for God to take care of us, we have spouses that work, she still works a job, I worked as long as I could with Sam.....so it's not like we don't' believe in working BUT there are times when you can work 2 jobs and still have a big need! And we have been blessed to see God work those kinds of miracles for us! She has a friend whose husband recently became unemployed and God did a big miracle right on time for them. Her friend was in AWE because always before, she trusted in her and her husband's abilities to meet their needs, so they didn't need God in that area, but when they needed Him and rested on Him, then they saw a miracle that just blew their socks off because they knew they couldn't make it happen themselves! So I do think of myself as "rich in Jesus' name" but Rich in experiences of how God has come through in my life time and time again.
In the same vein, I'm rich with the experience of trusting in God when there was no one else to lean on. This past year (the good and the bad) has deepen my life, it has caused me to turn to God in a way I'd never dreamed of before. I've seen Him be so very faithful to us. If I had the choice NOT to walk through this, of course I would have said "not thank you" in a nanosecond.... but in having to walk this walk, there is a depth of God, I've never experienced before and it is so sweet. He is truly a God who is near to the broken hearted. I say time and again, God was with me, the second I started running down that road to the emergency vehicles.... He wrapped His arms around me. Somehow I knew it was my family....But God was there! My heart is so grateful for that presence....
I pray each of you experience God in a deeper way. I don't pray that you will have to walk through valleys to do it but valleys and hard times seem to have a way of coming into all our lives at times. So I do pray that when valleys and hard times come into your life that you will know God is right there with you. And I pray that God will make Himself real to you before those hard times come. When I was running down the street, I was shaking and praying out loud "Oh God Help" that's all I could say....even if it hadn't been my family, I KNEW that someone needed God's help. But you see, I knew that God that I was calling on, He wasn't a stranger to me. I pray that you will let God into your life, surrender your life to Jesus Christ and get to know the God of this Universe if you don't already know him. He will be there for you in the good and bad times, that I can promise you because I know it is real! But there is a responsibility of surrendering your life to His hands. Sometimes I have to surrender on an hourly basis LOL. Not to say that I have to "get saved" over and over again but that I have to keep this "living sacrifice" on the altar. The bible talks about giving our lives to God as living sacrifices in Romans 12:1 "Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God--this is your true and proper worship." I've heard a preacher say one time that living sacrifices have a way of getting up and walking off.....I've been guilty of that a few times too ..... But I do urge you to pray and ask God to make Himself real to you, give your life to Him and walk with Him.
Thank you all again for your many thoughts and prayers for Selah and our family! I am LOVING the emails and comments I'm getting! Thank you! I'd love to hear from you....
theclanton5@aol.com or comment on here. I read every comment and try to respond to many of them! Thank you all!
