Reading

Reading is one of my favorite things to do.  I just don't understand people who don't like to read, I can't help but feel sorry for them.  I started reading before kindergarten and can hardly remember a time when I didn't read.   When I was very young, I was already reading the newspaper, the Tallahassee Democrat, we got it delivered but our delivery person was awful about making sure she delivered the paper.  By the time I was 10 years old, I remember calling her to complain that the paper hadn't come LOL

Reading has probably helped me understand my world and be much smarter than I would have if I didn't read.  I know it helped me in college to get through some boring books and understand most of it.  Because I read so much, I read at a really high rate of speed.  It is my one "trick" And that probably was the thing that got me through college!

Now I read for pleasure and to still learn.  I love reading about World War II, it is so interesting to me.  Recently I've read "Dancing with the Enemy" by Paul Glaser, a story about his family & his aunt who lived through Auschwitz.  It's interesting and really tells of all the various interpersonal relationships affected by the war.  I also read "The Secret Rescue" by Cate Lineberry about the rescue of  American medics & nurses who survived a plane crash behind enemy lines in Albania during the war.  That book was fascinating!

When I was at the library, I picked up a few books by an author I don't know.  I was disappointed in those books.  Personally I am not in to vampires, the undead or crazy people with multiple personalities!   I read one of  the books, but that's it.

I really like Rhys Bowen, an author I just started reading.  She has three different main characters and all three are interesting.  I like mysteries with some light humor in them.  I can't stand anything too serious if it is fiction!  I can handle serious books about real life but if it's fiction, give me some humor with it!


Today Sam had a speech evaluation by a "new speech evaluator, not the "grumpy" one who did Sarah's (life is too short)  I was thrilled with the evaluation and the possibility for communication for Sam.  They worked with him on a system of cards that they can adapt for his vision.  He seemed to "get it".    For a long time I'd hoped that Sam would be able to speak but as he is almost 10 years old, that is becoming less of a possibility.  He has a lot of receptive language meaning he understands what we tell him to do.  If I tell him "let's go take a bath" he walks to the bathroom and tries to take his clothes off.  If we say "let's go outside" he goes to the door and sometimes will even give me his shoes to put on him.  I'm so glad that he understands quite a bit and can follow some commands. But it would be a real blessing if he could communicate more with us.  We anticipate what he wants, and I think we do a good job but this new plan may really open up things for him!    The evaluator doesn't work on this side of the county except for just doing evaluations.  I'd love for her to be his teacher, both of the ladies who came today were really excited about Sam and what he was doing.  They had seen him years before so they could see his advancement.

They also checked in with Selah and have some great ideas for her.  I wish these ladies could have done Sarah's evaluation.  When they went in to see Selah, one of the first thing they brought up was the fact that she had only heard Russian for over 7 years of her life and only was hearing English for a few months before the accident happened.  That is exactly what I pointed out to the first evaluator and she 'poo-pooed" it and argued that point with me over and over again.  Anyhow I love when I meet people who have an interest in the kids above anything else.  It is so refreshing!  they are recommending some things for Selah also. YEAH!


Thought you'd like another kitten picture.  they are adorable and love to lay on my bed....all the time:) 

 

Self Control

Good day here, for lunch Steve drove officially by himself to pick up some pizzas!  He did drive around some the day Shad went missing but only on some back roads, this time he drove to town.  I was thinking I should go write it in his baby book LOL! 

I recently read a blog that I thought was really good
http://thedomesticfringe.com/no-fuss-parenting-teach-kids-to-sit-still/
it's all about teaching kids to sit still in church, which means the child will learn self control wherever he is out in public or even at home.  There is nothing that gets on my last nerve MORE than a child that is out of control and a parent that does nothing!   All of my children can sit through church (for the most part, every now and then Sarah will have to go out but it's been weeks since that has happened)   We are not overly strict parents.  We certainly don't spank our little ones but we keep a high bar raised for all of them.  We've learned from our first child on, that a child will rise to the level of expectation that a parent has for the child. 

I've seen some out of control kids NON special needs, just badly behaved children and I swore my kids would not be like that and they aren't.  Yes it took time to work with them, but the time was rewarded.  I can take my kids anywhere and they will behave.  remember Sam and Sarah both are very delayed yet they are very well behaved.  They go out to eat with us, they go to movies, church, we wait in doctor's offices etc....  It took some work but we worked with them. 

There is a time and place for everything, I believe in kids playing hard and being loud OUTSIDE ! 

People in today's world seem to think children should be allowed to have free rein everywhere and they think that shows how much the parents love the child.  Well......it probably shows how few friends the parents have because no one wants to be around their brats!  LOL    Children are much more happier with boundaries than without boundaries. 

I really believe the bible in all things, I believe it teaches us in every area, including child rearing.  As much as I read, I've never read any book on parenting, never felt the need to do so.  But I believe the principles of the bible which teach us to have self control.

Proverbs 25:28 " Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control. "   What happens when the walls of your life are broken down?  Anything can come in and destroy you.  Self Control is a great thing to learn young, it can be used in every single area in your life, not just sitting still in church!  

Nothing is sadder than to see a person who has no self control in his or her life.  It shows in every area whether it is eating, addictions, relationship problems, work problems,  you name it....if a person doesn't posses some self control, they will be lacking in so many areas. 

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I read of another child passing away before she could be adopted.  Her family was in the process and had already met her in Bulgaria and were just waiting for their paperwork/court to be done so that they could go pick her up.  Please read their story and pray for this precious family!
 http://winslowsix.blogspot.com/2014/01/we-love-you-our-precious-zvezdelina.html
I am sadden for this family and for this child not having the chance to live in her family but now she is in heaven & she did get to meet and know the love of a family. 

After reading this blog, I just went to Sarah and picked her up and held her in my lap.  I was so afraid that she would not make it till we could get to her.  I'm so thankful for the time we've had with her, I don't take it for granted.  This is why I'm so passionate about adoption.... it is truly saving lives and giving life to children. 

I'm still asked WHY go overseas when we have "orphans" here in the US.  If you ever go into an orphanage, in a country that is poor and doesn't even have the infer structure to maintain roads then you will see why we are passionate about international adoption.  When your eyes are opened to the need, you can't go back.  And you will look at what we do in the US, as flawed as it may be, and be grateful that we are able to take care of our vulnerable children. 

So if you wonder why, take a look at this child's pictures, she was  7 years old, just two days younger than my Sarah.  Go back and take a look at Sarah when we got her, and it is so much more than just fattening up a child, it's building a relationship with that child.

Today during Sarah's physical Therapy time, Sam came in.  Sarah did not like that he was on the ball with her.  She got off, crying and crawled over to me and sat in my lap and cried.  We are trying to teach them two to share.  It's not been easy.  But I LOVED that she came straight to mama for comfort.  Somehow Sarah escaped emotionally all she went through and is quite normal emotionally for a child who is delayed.  I LOVE when she comes to me for comfort.  The first year we had her, she rarely cried.  She cries more now BECAUSE she knows her cries will be answered.   It's beautiful to watch her go through normal emotional developmental stages.  We think she is about a 2 year old right now LOL   I actually read that the orphanages in Russia tell the caregivers not to respond to children's cries,  I'm sure it is the same in Ukraine.  Well Miss Sarah cries now, until she gets her way and then she gives an immediate smile:)   We are working with her just like you would with a toddler.  Today we didn't give in to her cries but I gave her comfort when she didn't get her way.  And she calmed down.  She was learning self control.  Just because a child has a lower IQ, they can still be taught.  It's really important for them as they get older, just like it is for a "normal" child. 

 

 

 

 

these pictures were taken right before the meltdown!

Notice Sarah is as big or a little bigger than Sam?  She is wearing size 6 and he can still wear size 4 but I buy his new stuff in size 6

 

 

Here are some more pictures of the nicest kittens we have ever had.  they are so sweet & no trouble at all.

 

 

 

Hope you have a great day!

Please pray for Selah.  she has been having great days with perfect numbers on her machines.  She is over the issue she was having thanks to the prescriptions.  Today when I was taking my walk, I prayed for Selah in my mind, remembering her from before the accident, praying that she'd be restored to us. 

 

 

Pet pictures

 

Henry and Fraidy Cat

 

 

 

this is Vermont on our welcome mat

 

 

 

 

Princess is above, being adorable:) 

And Daisy is below sleeping'

what great easy kittens they are!

 

 

Brownie sleeping in "her" spot as you can tell

and Vermont sleeping near her.  Brownie always has a "cat friend" she curls up with.

 

 

So another cool day in Florida, nice enough for the kids to go back outside some. 

 

 

 

We had some issues with one of the new teachers, I really don't know how to share it but she said she had been accused of something  that could affect my kids so we asked for another teacher.  I feel bad for her but as always my kids must come first as they are defenseless and non verbal.   There is a part of me that feels bad for not being supportive BUT I have to think of my children first.    I'm so tired of strange situations.  Please pray that we can get the right teachers in to work with our kids. I'm discouraged. 

 

Miss Selah was really lifting her head and holding it this morning.  We love when she does that.   She hadn't done it so much since the last time I posted those pictures. IT was great to see her moving like that again! 

 

Please keep our girl in your prayers!  Thank you!

Exciting Day

Exciting day for me, I got to go to lunch with one of my BFFs:)   AND then after I picked up Shad I went to the library!  WOOHOO!  I LOVE libraries and I love books.  We then had to go get cat & dog food at Walmart (boo)  So a big exciting day for me.  It's funny, my life just isn't as interesting when the kids aren't involved!


This morning our outside thermometer  read only 28 degrees....it was cold!  I took a picture but I guess it was too cold to load it on the blog, it won't load up LOL   But it is cold for Florida....however it won't last, by the weekend it's back to the high 70's:) 


Well we found season three of "Hogan Hero's" and we are enjoying watching this old favorite of ours.  Over the years, we've collected a lot of old tv series and movies.  We have the complete collection  of Andy Griffin, Gomer Pyle, Gilligan's Island, Brady Bunch, the Lucy Show,  Waltons, Commish (from the 80s) just to name a few.  They just do NOT make tv shows like they used to.  Recently we watched the Lucy show (the one with just her and the teenaged kids-it didn't like the older "I love Lucy")  they were funny, all the actors/actresses had talent, not just in carrying off good lines, but they could sing & dance and everything was funny without being dirty at all.  Now there are some good tv shows but even the best ones (talent wise like the Office) has to be filled with sexual jokes.  I don't get it at all, why does anyone feel they have to do that.  things can be so funny without that! 

Well everyone stay safe & warm!   Please keep Selah in your prayers.  Today I had just been praying in my head and then checked my email and there was an email from a reader who shared a beautiful dream of Selah being healed.  This is the email...

On Friday night 1/3/14 I had a joyful dream, Selah had been healed. I came to visit you and your family can’t really recall the places we went. All of the children were there Selah was WALKING, RUNNING,SMILING INTERACTING with everyone. She didn’t talk and she still had the trachea. She expressed herself with noise. I could not believe I had this dream and I was in AWE the next morning as I sat and thought wow I got to meet her. I couldn’t wait to share with you. I can tell you everyone was happy.  Also your hair was a little lighter maybe some blonde through the red!! I read daily so I’m still in touch!! Take Care.

Isn't that a wonderful dream???   It just amazed me that I had JUST been praying for Selah's healing and got this sweet message.  I don't know what all it means but we'll never stop praying and we'll never stop looking into medical things for her!  thanks for all your prayers for her! 

 

New Directions for Steve

This parenting thing is never easy......

As parents of a high school senior, we've been discussing options with our son for awhile.  For years he wanted to be a correctional officer and we were all for that, knowing how professional the Florida Department of Corrections is and what a good career he could have with them.  Then a few months ago Steve began worrying that he might be missing out by not going to college.  ( I think I wrote a blog about it)  With the Department, he could go up the rank with or without a degree.  So we thought about things and talked about things and then he sort of dropped the subject. 

His main ideas were either
1. go work for DOC
2. go to a community college
3. go to St Leo's (Catholic college with a good criminal justice major)
4. go to our alma mater Southeastern


So we worried since Steve had chosen not to do the college track in high school, that that would be a problem.  Well that wasn't the case for any of the colleges we looked at since he has a high GPA. 

Now that it's January, we are getting to the crunch time for paperwork to get in and scholarships to be applied for.

Last night we had a long serious talk and he decided he really wanted to look into the schools, specifically SEU.  Today he filled out his application for Southeastern:)  He should have no issues getting accepted, he met all the criteria.  I also filled out financial aid forms and he is eligible for a large federal grant.  We will be applying for more stuff too.  I basically spent the morning on the computer.  I have to admit this was MUCH easier than when I filled out paperwork years ago  and it took weeks to hear back from the college and from financial aid!  Basically we had a lot of answers within hours!  WOW! 

We are going to a student's day on campus soon.  We actually have a baby sitter scheduled so Jon & I both can go with him.  We are looking forward to doing that with him. 

To be honest, Jon and I both have our BAs but I'm not one to really push college anymore.  Just from the practical side, he could easily make more than his dad within a few years as an officer with overtime, pay raises and promotions.  So financially, it would really make more sense just to jump into a career that he has an interest for without going in to debt to go to college.  I used to think college was the only way to go.....UNTIL  I grew up and saw many people who made more money than us (just speaking from the financial side of things)  that either had trades, their own business or worked for a company. 

I think education is important.  And one thing is true, once you have a degree, no one can take that from you.  But I totally respect people who chose not to go to college. 

And I have to admit, SEU is a very different school than the school I graduated from over 25 years ago.  I've not been happy with the direction it's been going in for a long time although I have wonderful fond memories of being a student there.  So I've not at all encouraged Steve to go there but I do think it's better than the alternatives he has in this area. 

One thing that is very interesting to me is that when he starts in August, it will be 30 years since I started there.....isn't that sweet and a bit crazy to think about?  

I went there with no family support, I was basically an orphan by that time.  I was so scared but so excited to be there.  Who would have dreamed how those first steps to a new life, set things into motion....and now I have a son who is planning on attending there......   It was neat to list on the application that Jon, myself and Steve's uncle Jim were all graduates of SEC:)  Family tradition!

We've always wanted to support our kids in their decisions.  So if he chose to go to work full time, I was all for it and I am all for him going to college if that is what he wants.  We want Steve to feel like he has explored what he wants to do with his life.   I was such a goal setter, I KNEW what I wanted for a couple of years before I went to college. I LOVED every second of college and dorm life Jon was the opposite, he was more like Steve, he didn't really want to go to college.  Then he decided after a long hot summer of working a crappy job that college might be a good thing.  He went to a community college where he didn't really make friends  ( I on the other hand was quite the social butterfly)  then he became a Christian and came to SEC but he never lived on campus or really got into the social life of the campus.  I do believe being part of the social life is good for a young adult.  When I was at SEC, there were a lot of rules.....and I broke many of them LOL but it was a good place to be.  Now I don't believe there is as many rules....but hopefully there is a good atmosphere.

He is thinking about the different majors, he was leaning towards Criminal Justice BUT since that is not a big program at SEU, we are encouraging towards computer/media type majors since that is a big interest of his too.  In my opinion, having a criminal justice degree is not necessary even if you are in the criminal justice field.  If you are going for a BA of any type, it will work in the CJ field. 
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I also got an appointment for Selah with the new neurologist that one of our nurses really likes.  She feels he will be very open to work with Selah with some of the drugs that are being used to bring adults out of comas.  When asked why we were making a switch, I told the nurse on the phone what we were hoping for and she was encouraging to me!  So Selah can't get in as a new patient until March but I'm excited that we have an appointment and hopefully someone who will explore with us all the research that is going on for people like Selah!!!!!!!!!!!!


So it's been a big day at the Clanton household.  Sorry I didn't post last night, I was busy and the day/evening just got away from me.  Then we got into a long discussion with Steve...... and I was worried about how he was feeling/thinking about things.  I'm so glad it was so easy today to get a lot of answers quickly about admission and financial aid!  What a blessing, and what a difference from when we were in college.  It seems like I applied for financial aid in like February and didn't' hear until JULY !  Now after you fill it out on line, you get an estimate right then! It really helps calm worries that is for sure!!!!  

So it's never quiet around here for long!

A quiet easy day!

A nice peaceful uneventful day:)

Thanks for the sweet comments, sometimes I'm almost afraid to look at what folks comment back LOL!  thanks for the encouragement!

My bro in law and niece have spent the weekend with us.  the kids love having them here with us.  Last night (after getting everyone quiet) I laid down with all my kids safe and sound and extra folks here along with our outside dog INSIDE since it was so cold....and I felt very contented and safe.   What a blessing.  I don't take anything for granted.  Life is so uncertain and fragile. 

We went walking today FINALLY!  I'm determined to walk daily and get back to my exercise plan!  We went to my cardiac walking trail and it has been redone, a new asphalt walkway!  YEAH for no more potholes, especially when I walk without my glasses on!!!!!!!   I only did 2.5 miles today but it is a workout, not flat, it has hills built in to the path. 

I have to say thanks to our local Walmart, we had bought a new tv back last spring.  It went out on us and the company, Element, said we had to send it back for it to be replaced.  to send it back was $140!  So Walmart, refunded us the money and we bought a BIGGER TV and this time a Samsung!  I really didn't even complain much to Walmart about the whole thing, they were just really gracious to me about the situation.  I didn't expect them to allow me to return it!!!!  I was really blown away by the assistant manager and how kind she was and so helpful!   Of course they see me in there just about every day LOL.

So Florida has decided to join the rest of the country and welcome Winter!  We even had the heat on last night and I can't stand heat!  This next week is going to be really cold for us wimpy Floridians!  It's kinda fun for us, it's a change.  I have BOOTS to wear with a sweater dress tomorrow and I'm excited:)  I found them on 70% clearance and they were JUST the pair I was looking for.  I love when that happens!  I may get to wear them a few times this next week or so, then they'll be put back in the back of the closet till next year!

Hope you all have a great weekend!  Stay warm!

Our Prodigal Returns....

Our prodigal.....

This morning  I told Shad to go outside and clean off the patio.  He had left his Lego boxes out their and they had gotten rained on.  He cleaned the table off but failed to do some other things asked of him yesterday in his play area.  So I reminded him of those things.  He got a little angry look on his face but went to do them.  Remember this is all his toys and play area, so it is all mess he had made.  We have a fenced in patio and yard, and that's where he plays with his toys that have small pieces.  It is very safe, and comes with a big dog that barks.  So in a few minutes, Steve asked me where Shad was and I told him outside.  Steve was actually going to play a joke on Shad and went out the back door to scare him.  Well......in a few minutes, Steve is back totally freaked out because Shad is no where to be found.  At first I thought Shad was pranking Steve, or had just gone in the back area for something.   Then Steve, Jon and I are yelling for Shad with nothing but silence echoing back.  After about 5 minutes of us running and yelling for him.  I realized we couldn't wait any longer and had to call the police.  I called, as Jon drove off one way and Steve the other to see if maybe he walked down the road, chasing a cat or dog.  They both got back about the time when the first officer arrived. 

In just a few minutes our yard was filled with a fire truck, ambulance, and police cars.  It became increasingly obvious that this was very serious.  Jon has worked for over 16 years in the prison setting and before that for the Polk Co Sheriff's Department.  I worked for years as a probation officer, carrying a case load of many sex offenders and when I became a supervisor, my unit had the majority of the sex offenders.  Jon and I both know the statistics.  In fact, in my brain I was counting up the time and I knew that the crucial first hour was almost over....  Just before this happened, I had read that the infamous killer of Jimmy Ryce ( a young boy whose kidnapping, sexual abuse and death by a convicted sex offender caused the state of Florida to pass the Jimmy Ryce act that entails CIVIL commitment to a facility following an offender's release from prison if the courts deem the offender to still be a threat to society.  I filled out quite a few "Jimmy Ryce forms")  had had his death warrant signed by Governor  Scott. 

So I had remained pretty calm throughout this time, until all that hit my brain and I saw black dots.  I leaned up against the patrol car because I thought I was going to pass out. 

We checked all the buildings again on the property.  Jon had noticed a truck parked near the entrance to one of the trails behind our home so a cop was dispatched to follow up on the truck.  Steve said he was going to look in the woods....well thank God he did!  In just a few minutes, we hear the yelling  "he's been found, he's ok" echoing throughout the yard.  We go running to them.  Steve had found Shad sitting under a tree, covered with stickers and sandspurs. 

At first all Shad would offer was that "he was thinking"  When asked about what, he said "his life"  He was very serious and scared of the police.  He wouldn't' open up at all with the police there.  After they all left with our sincerest thanks, he started telling us what had happened.  He had gotten angry that I reminded him to put his stuff all up so we could go do something.  So he did it but then he basically decided he was mad and was going to "run away".  Well he only got about 25 feet off our property but was deep enough in the woods hide from us.  When he saw the cops come up, he was terrified that he was in really bad trouble so he stayed put.  I guess he'd still be there if Steve hadn't gone out to find him.

He has never done anything at all like this and hopefully never will again.  We shared with him how terrified we were that someone had taken him away to hurt or kill him.  He started crying and crying.  It was easy to see how bad he felt.

Now we are pretty no nonsense parents.  We don't reward bad behavior but this time Jon reminded us of the  prodigal son and how thankful the father was that the son had returned home that he threw him a big party.  And even tho the "elder brother" had to go and find our prodigal, we were extremely thankful that he was at home with us.  So he went and changed clothes and he and I sat and took out all the sand spurs on his dirty clothes and talked.  Then he sat in my lap for awhile.  Then we all went out and got something to eat and we took him to pick out something to buy with his Christmas money. 

He made a wrong decision and hopefully he learned from it and will never do something like that again.  If he does, next time he will be in a lot of trouble with us and with the police.  But this was something he did without thinking and it snowballed bigger than he ever dreamed of it going and he didn't know how to handle it.  But we chose to just overwhelm him with our love.  He didn't really deserve it, to be honest if anything deserved a spanking, this certainly did!  Not only had he put himself in danger in the woods, but he had upset us and cause the police, firemen and EMS to spend about an hour involved in a false case when there are plenty of other things happening that need their attention and we did share all of that with Shad.  Once I saw him walking in, and could tell he was fine, I told the officer with me that he better stay for awhile because I was "fixing to kill that boy"  LOL  the officer knew I was kidding around and laughed with me out of sheer relief!  

I was asked if I was going to share this on here and I really did debate.  This is pretty personal stuff but I'm sharing because I think we need to think about how precious our children and family really are to us.  You have no idea how relieved we are that he was just out sulking and being disobedient.  I'll take that ANY day over what could have happened!   You can learn from things like this!   We did put in some new rules now that he is not allowed out of our fenced in area and we went over some scenarios that offenders and kidnappers could try on him.   This situation today showed us how we could be more careful with our son and how we can treasure his heart.

I was not wrong in asking him, no TELLING him to clean up his toys and throw away the old boxes.  I've taught my kids I am not their maid!  There was nothing wrong in him being outside in the play area.  But of course as soon as this happened, I blamed myself, I blamed myself for telling him to put the boxes in the dumpster, because I thought someone had grabbed him there.  (btw, he is not allowed to go to the dumpster anymore unless a grownup is outside.)   That was the furthest point from our house and from our barking dog.  I asked Jon to go and see if the boxes were in there, they were....that was the point, when I almost fainted.  I was so afraid.....


I think through this, Shad saw how much Jon, Steve and I love him.  Steve has been so sweet to him all day and even paid for half of what he bought with his Christmas money!  (you know that is brotherly love!)   Shad is the most outgoing of our kids, but he is the one in the middle.  He isn't the oldest and he isn't the youngest.  He doesn't have the medical issues the little ones have so he doesn't get that kind of attention nor does he get the kind of attention and freedom his older brother gets.  It's a hard place to be in. 

So today was a day to talk about problems and show love.  It actually turned into a sweet day together all of us.  And from the bottom of my heart, I am grateful that the only thing we had to really deal with today was a bad attitude.   The fear of what could have been, seemed to put it all more in focus!   How many parents would be thrilled that their missing child was just out "thinking" a few yards from their home?  I know I was thankful that was all we had to deal with!



Here is Shad's kittens after their bath yesterday.  Sweet love muffins!

 

 

 

 

Here is Sam ATTACKING his corn on the cob today:)  He loves it!

 

 

 

 

YUM

And thanks again to the wonderful men & women of the Pasco County Sherriff's Office!  They totally are the best!   We appreciate them so much!