Being raised in a crazy Pentecostal Church I can't remember a time not thinking about God. sometimes the memories are so near to me I feel like I can reach out and touch them Of course it is all interspersed with my family & friend memories of growing up. Even as a child I'd have all these deep thoughts about God but I have to say none of my friends quite had the same experience whether they were raised like me or in a good Baptist church. Back then EVERYBODY went to church somewhere, I can truly say I can't remember anyone who didn't go to church until I was in 6th grade. A little girl moved to town, she seemed wealthy- her daddy worked for the paper mill. That little girl cussed like a sailor! She said GD! Lord I had to tell her she was going to go to hell if she didn't stop and she told me she didn't think there was a god! Her family were only in town temporarily and her dad was moved to another paper mill to solve a problem. I was relieved when she was gone, although I wanted a friend, this child was a mess in many other ways and in trouble a lot. Bless her heart I can't even remember her name or face now, just her dark hair.
Anyhow none of my other friends thought quite like me. So I loved talking to preachers LOL Once in Vacation Bible School I was asking the pastor (who was teaching our class) about sanctification. Our church taught it as a second work of grace that was a one time experience. That just did not make any sense to me as I'd hear people testify about being sanctified and they still would act the same! Of course I didn't have the theology words then as a 12 year old like I do now but I asked him if he didn't think sanctification was life long process instead of an instant work. He didn't really know how to answer me and joked about my question (not in a mean way-just baffled that I'd have such a strong feeling)
Recently I shared an outrageous post from a specific ministry privately with a friend. She thought it was quite funny and it was in a hare brained kind of way but it upset me. My friend asked me innocently why did it bother me so much and I told her because "doctrine matters"
In the Christian world you have your basic Christian doctrines that unites everyone from Pentecostal to Baptist to Methodists to Episcopal (of course things that all those churches held dear 100 years ago are being undermined now like the Virgin Birth or the inerrancy of scripture) Then each church or denomination has a slight different understanding on some things. Theology means the study of God. We are human- I don't think anyone or any church or denomination has things absolutely perfectly understood about God. I don't believe in an evolving theology that teaches something new or takes away from the word of God. By that I mean I'm talking specifically about movements in the main line churches to take away the authority of scripture or the holiness of God or the redeeming work of the Cross.
In the Pentecostal/Charismatic (PC) world we usually deal with people trying to ADD things to the word of God by their experience or a new revelation. But the Bible says it's wrong to add or take away from the bible.
Thankfully I stay in my own little bubble most of the time so in some ways I'm shielded from the various things that blow through the Pentecostal/Charismatic (PC) movement. But there is some crazy stuff out there right now. I'm not going to call any specific ministry or group out but I will tell you -have discernment! I think that is the thing that is lacking MOST today in the PC world.
In my life, and especially the 30 years I've been in ministry as a Pastors wife I've seen a lot Sometimes too much-I've always been able to separate people and their foolishness from God. I KNOW God and I can hear His voice through the chatter. His voice never fails- never has to be explained -never disappoints. People and their "doctrine" can fail and disappoint. I think that is what makes me the MADDEST is when I see people who have had thing taught them or prophesied over them that was false and they built their lives on false doctrine. Then when they had to deal with hard times they crumbled because their faith was not built on the Rock but on the sifting sands of someone's false doctrine or experience.
I've seen people who were dying and yet they and/or others were "proclaiming" they'd live and then die and leave behind confusion...or my "favorite statement" - "well he got his ultimate healing" I get it this world is not our home-we all will die and Jesus conquered death to give us eternal life but why wait till a person dies to stress that point? Why not teach that as an anchor for folks walking through the valley of the shadow of death? I can trust God to walk me through horrible situations without thinking that He is a genie who will do or allow things to go the absolute way I want it to go.
We had someone in our church who was terminal and the person got up and said God had healed her. I felt awful for her-she was such a sweet person but it bothered me greatly that she'd make that claim based on what someone else had preached. (Believe me my husband doesn't make any claims like that off the cuff) She died soon after and Shad had many questions about the whole thing. We shared with him that often people are taught things that aren't correct but they can't demand things of God.
I've seen so many people who lose their faith after losing a love one that "God was supposed to heal" Granted the folks had a personal responsibility to search the scriptures for themselves to know what God really says but ministers and others have a responsibility to teach and share the bible correctly.
For example a lady walked up to me one time in a store and told me that Sam would be completely healed in 6 months time. Because I'm confident in God I rolled my eyes. Do I believe God can heal-I do. However I don't believe everything that comes out of people's mouths.
I'm not sure if I've ever shared this story on my blog but after the accident, there was a pastor who came to visit us in the hospital. He was a friend of several of our friends and from our denomination. I think he came the first day of the accident or soon after. Anyway I got strange vibes from him immediately so I just ignored him (I've learned the art of ignoring LOL) There were several people in the room with us at that time. A few weeks later this same guy came back while I was alone late at night with Selah. It was a very rough time to say the least. she was having neurological storming which is like a seizure in the way it looks but it's different. So I was there that night by myself feeling very sad and afraid. Jon was with the other children back at the Ronald McDonald House (we took turns) So this guy comes in and immediately begins to tell me he KNEW why Sam was born blind and WHY the accident happened. He told me we were in sin and didn't have enough faith. Let me tell you, if he had any question about me being in sin before...he sure didn't when he left LOL But because I knew my Savior's voice I absolutely knew this KOOK was not from Him. I had him banned from the hospital and I wish we'd gone to the local church leaders about him but at the time it was all we could do to survive. (there is a funny side to this story. when I went back and told Jon what had happened he said 3 words in one sentence that I'd never heard him say in all our years of marriage!!!! He tried to get the guy's number to call him but I told him to let it go!)
On the other hand I've had several personal experiences that lined up to God's word that has happened to me. I do not base my Christianity or my doctrine on these personal experiences.
The first one was when I was a teen. I went out to my mailbox and reached in and got a flyer from Southeastern College. As I was walking away from the mailbox God spoke to me and told me that I'd go to that college. It was so real to me. And you have to understand my family- I really didn't have much family and they great aunt I was living with had no money to send me to college nor was she interested in me going. The overall consensus was that I didn't have no business going to college. I should just go and get a job at K-mart. So me going to college was a miracle from God and a lot of hard work on my part.
The next time I heard God speak to me was when I was in the deepest spiritual valley of my life. I'll be quite honest I'm not sure I was even a Christian at that time according to my doctrine! We had lost our twins, and moved back to Florida I had started back working as a probation officer dealing with some dark things. I was angry with God and just kinda done with everything. I wasn't even sure I wanted to be married anymore. It was NOT a good time. Anyhow I was on my way to work, driving my husband's car for some reason listening to a music cassette tape (yep it was awhile ago) and God spoke to me out of the BLUE! I don't know if it was just in my heart or audible. He told me that I'd have a son named Samuel and he'd change my life! So a few years later when I got pregnant, I knew it was Sam. Obviously I could have just named him Samuel. But that little boy Samuel changed my life....from me quitting my job and getting away from negativeness to opening my eyes to the plight of special needs orphans and us adopting three of those orphans! That stuff just can't be made up!
Then ONE time I got a "word" from the Lord through someone else. I was in the mall (that's just too funny to me) with a friend and all five of the kids. We'd only been home about one month from Ukraine and I was so happy. This lady walked up to me and said that she didn't do things like this but she felt to tell me something. Normally I'd cut someone off and move on (things like this happen to me) but there was something.... anyhow she basically said "something big is coming for your family, many will see. Don't be afraid" Well first I said to her, we just had something BIG happen to our family, we adopted our girls. But she said she didn't think it had to do with adoption. Then she asked if she could pray over the kids. Now again normally I do not allow anything like that but I felt like i should allow her to do so. She prayed a very long time for Selah. I thought it odd but sweet. After the accident, I remembered that and confirmed with my friend what the lady said and my friend agreed with me. That word gave me so much comfort in the months after the accident. I focused on the "Don't be afraid" part over and over and over again. Every time something would come up I'd tell myself that God didn't want me to be afraid
Now anyone could tear that story to pieces. did what she do line up with scripture? Actually it did. do I understand WHY God allowed everything to happen like it did? Or that Selah did not miraculously recover?? I don't have the answer on this side of heaven. But those words comforted me. I think about when Jesus told his disciples in John 16:33 " These things I have spoken unto you that in Me you might have peace. In the world you will have tribulations but be of good cheer I have overcome the world."
So I do believe God still speaks even if I hadn't had these experiences but we can't base our spiritual walk on experiences we or someone else has had. Base your life on the Bible. Take it in context and be careful who you listen to when it comes to spiritual things.
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Friday we were all together so we went to the beach. I've always loved Honeymoon Island State Park but after our hurricane the sand has been washed away and there were so many rocks under foot. We'd bought little swim seats for the kids but they didn't work, we couldn't hold them up it just wasn't safe. Sarah was not too happy and clung to me closely. I was afraid I'd drop her because I couldn't get good footing on the rocks. It's still beautiful out there but i hope the next hurricane pushes in some sand!
A ranger brought us a chair for her
Steve and his sweet girlfriend
