Sam's Update

For about 1.5 years Sam has seemed to have issues with vertigo off & on.  We've had everything tested-traveled to NY for his eyes, seen the neurologist had Cat scan and MRI (in which he quit breathing...) Yesterday we finally got in to see a neurologist who specializes in vertigo/inner ear issues.  Unfortunately he feels Sam has  neurological deterioration based on everything.  I was so shocked at getting a basically terminal diagnosis I was pretty much speechless.  I wasn't crying or anything just shocked to my core.  The appointment was very long and the doctor did clean out a foot of ear wax out of Sam's ears.  When we finally got out to the car I was able to think and called our regular neurologist.  Thankfully he got right back to me and he doesn't agree with his colleague.  

There are more things going on than just vertigo and one thing that is concerning is nothing seems to be enjoyable to Sam except rocking in his chair and taking a car ride.  He quit playing with toys last year, he's not interested in music or tv  He doesn't want to even go outside.  When he directly interacts with us he is his normal self as far as how he acts emotionally towards us. He is not upset & has not been biting his hands thank God.  At one point he wasn't even wanting to eat or drink so we had a zillion tests ran on him but everything was perfectly normal then he started back eating and drinking normally.  

 

It makes us sad to feel like Sam is slipping away from us-that's exactly what it feels like most of the time.  But Sam is so complicated -this could be a stage he is going through.  One of his chromosomal disorders lists seasonal depression as one of it's components.  Interestingly enough Sam always has issues January-April every single year!  Usually they are medical but seem to have an emotional part to them.  Looking at FB memories today I have a post from 4 years ago that was about Sam and how he is acting more like himself after weeks of depression.  That encouraged me too.  We are hoping this is just something else besides what the specialist diagnosed it  as being.  At this point it's just a wait and see situation.  There is really nothing else to test or anything that can be done if it is neurological deterioration.  We have tested him up on side and down the other this past 1.5 years.  He's seen every specialist.  The dizziness comes and goes with him  unfortunately the disinterest is pretty constant.  However after the doctor appointment he has seemed a little more engaging.  Of course that makes us wonder about the whole ear wax thing!  He has been eating better the last week or so.  That was really worrisome when he was not interested in eating or drinking.  Sam generally loves to eat.  So keep our boy in your prayers.  

In other news everything is going good.  We are planning Sarah's "Children's Dream" vacation for August.  We picked out swimming with the dolphins in the Keys for her.  We wanted to do dolphin therapy but where we went with Sam is not open anymore.  But I know this will be great for her.  Actually the whole family is going to swim with the dolphins.  Last time I declined as I'm not a fan of animals way bigger than me in 16 feet of water!  But I think I'm going to do it this time.  Our older sons are not going to be able to go with us but our caregiver will be going and it'll be fun.  

In the next few weeks we have a SSI hearing for the little kids.  We have been fighting for them to get benefits for years.  It's insane!  This will be our 3rd hearing.  Sam is already 18 so his should be no issue but somehow it still is. People assume that we get all kinds of benefits for our 3 handicapped kids....just for the record they get nothing but med wavier!  Med Wavier is a blessing and usually people with special needs do not have Med Wavier until they are 21 years old in Florida.  But a few years ago a very sympathic worker put us on it due to the kids severity of needs.  It covers respite care and diapers which is a big help. And it has helped with Selah's charges for her group home.  But Sam and Sarah also will have another hearing regarding their respite care.  Somehow the state decided they didn't need it.  We are contesting it and trying to work around the situation.  Hopefully things will work out in our favor in both situations.  

EASTER 2022

 Our Easter weekend was full.  On Saturday Shad and I delivered Easter baskets to Selah's group home.  We had a great time putting them together for the clients and staff.  

I woke sleeping beauty up and she was not so thrilled with me LOL  She gets her little mad line in between her eyes when she is not impressed.  

One of my bestest friends - my college roommate filled in for us on the keyboard as we had some of our worship team out for medical and family emergency.  They did great and Sarah loved it even when they were practicing before church.  

I got a few pictures before church 

I love how she crosses her feet

This picture just makes my heart so happy.  So much love in this one picture.  Steve's girlfriend and two of his closest college friends who are like family.  My closest friend and my babies.  

Jon is obviously talking lol

Love these folks!

This picture....we were trying to be cute and kick out our feet like the "young girls" do....we ended up having to hold each other up!  That's the true story of our friendship!  

We were looking at old pictures.... this was ME Easter 1966 Yes I had some red hair!

30 years later Steve 1996 

Sam Easter 2004 38 years later....

You can tell we just might be kin LOL

The next pictures are Sam from 2006.  Although he was 2 years old, he was so tiny!  

Yes he only had 3 teeth breaking through at 2 years old.  He's 18 now and we are not sure all his baby teeth are out yet.  

Easter was a very good day.  Our church even had a missionary share in the service.  It was encouraging and uplifting.  I've really been struggling as we have a dear friend facing incurable cancer.  He is on my mind throughout the day and my heart is just crushed to see him have to deal with so much.  I was not in "the Easter mood" to say the least this weekend  But as we sang the old hymns of the church celebrating the resurrection I felt my heart join with the saints on earth and those already in heaven to proclaim that there is a resurrection that has happened with our Savior and one that will happen for all the saints of God.   Something about Easter roots me in my faith more than any other observance of the church.  I remember singing all those old hymns in a packed church as a child.  Many of the folks who sang with me are now in heaven and that touches my heart.  And I'm still singing those songs and teaching them to my children.  Please pray for our dear friend .  He has been our worship minister for 14.5 years and he's been a faithful part of our team. We three worked together so good all these years and we had hoped for many more years together working for the Lord at our church.   This life is not easy and I'm glad there is an eternal hope of heaven to cling to in times like these.  That knowledge is a comfort.  

Glasses, Cars, Trips to ER

This song could be for my husband & all my kids Steve made this beautiful video of Sarah. April 4th was 10 years since we met Sarah & Selah. Our story was a college friends of mine shared a blog about a family who had adopted a special needs child from Eastern Europe. I read the blog & then looked at the organization that posted pictures of orphans from all over the world who have special needs. And there was Sarah. I really can’t explain, we had absolutely 0 plans to the adopt again. We had our three boys - life was pretty good…. But that picture literally haunted me. Within days we started the process to adopt her. During the quick 4.5 months that the adoption took we decided to add another child. We heard some pretty horrific things so we wanted to do more. At first we were going to adopt a little boy along with Sarah but he got adopted (very strange story) Then we were told about Selah a few weeks before we left to get Sarah… Both girls fit into our family so perfectly once we were home. As you know just a few months later while we were in NY on a medical/vacation the accident happened. I don’t even try to understand everything- all I can do is hang on knowing that one day everything will be redeemed. Today I went & took some things to Selah & visited with her & the staff. I told her I love her & am glad she’s our daughter.

Adoption is a wonderful thing. To me it’s just like marriage, it’s a commitment. And it’s very magical. You take these people who don’t even know the other ones exists & somehow they become family- real family! It’s an amazing thing & Im so lucky to have gotten to experience it with 3 children. And experience the births of our 2 biological children. What a blessed life Ive had!

Get the tissues ready!

Sarah 10 years 

Sam has really struggled all this year.  We've been extremely worried about his actually since November.  He's had gastric issues.  He's had xray/cat scan and lots of blood work everything comes back normal but he is just "off"  He's always had constipation issues off and on although at times we find an answer but then his body doesn't respond to the various meds or concoctions after awhile.   These past few months he goes through days we have to coax him to eat or drink.  Other days he acts normal.  The past week has been rough!   He is scheduled for a barium swallow next month to check his gastro tract.  But we think alot of it more depression/anxiety.  One of his chromosomal things actually has a component of seasonal depression.  Sam has always had issues with illness/anxiety January-March....  CRAZY!  That's always when he'd get sick and have issues as well as be "off"   When the genetics doctor told me I was shocked!  WE try and give him extra time and rides in the car just to spend time with him during these days.  We hope they will pass soon this year has been really hard because of all of Sarah's problems and Selah' moving.... Sam did get new glasses that we are working with him on wearing.  So far he's doing good.  

Car #3!  In 3 months Shad totaled 2 cars....we are hoping the 3rd one is the charm!  Neither of the mishaps were Shad's fault at all!  But it is not easy to find a gently used car in this day!  Thanks to a friend we made a contact Whitestone Auto Sales in Lakeland Florida 863-686-3385  We were very relieved to find this car at a good price.  The owner is a Christian and he even prayed over the car and Shad   I thought that was so sweet.  Shad is doing great in his new job & he is loving it  We are so proud of him.  

Sarah is doing good.  I'm still very paranoid about everything that goes in her mouth since finding out how lactose intolerant she is.  I've modified all our recipes for Sarah but I have to watch out because Jon can't have anything with high fat..... so I do some separate dishes!   She has done fine so far but we are still very careful!

Selah is doing great in her group home.  She had a little scare last week when she had one of her episodes that ended up in the ER  It's not a seizure or a neuro storm....but it looks similar.  Her heart rate goes either very high or very low and her oxygen level goes low.  It's not related to any pulmonary problem although it seems like it is.  Our neurologist feels her brain stem is deteriorating.  So she got a trip to the ER.  By the time we got there everything was fine.  The doctor expects this to happen more and more frequently and she will pass away from it.  That's hard to hear but the only comfort is that most people who have had near drownings pass away long before this point from other more painful issues.  We have no timeline and she's not on hospice.  We are just continuing to love and take care of her.  

This past week I helped organize  a group of volunteers from a friend's church went to her group home and did some outside spring cleaning.  Our church provided the supplies and their church provided the man power!  Our church is doing baskets for all the residents of the group home for Easter.  I've had fun putting them together.  It's challenging because only one resident can have anything by mouth but I'm used to doing Easter baskets that are a little different.  We are also able to supply some equipment to help start a therapy room!  I'm so excited about that!!

Our oldest Steve is doing great.  There is so many great things happening in his life.  He gets to travel with his job and do what he loves which is videography.  Next week he's in Miami for the week and part f it he will be interviewing Ben Carson!  Two of his best friends are also working this conference so he is looking forward to being with them. We adore his girlfriend and are so happy to see him in love:)  Last night I was in Lakeland dropping Shad off to get his new car and Steve called me to meet them for supper.  It's fun having adult kids!  He even paid LOL

We continue to keep contact with all of our loved ones in Ukraine and now some of them are in other countries for safety.  Please pray for them.

Update on Ukraine and Family

 I'm sorry I have not posted more but I'm happy to report that most of the orphans and disabled adults from Druz have been evacuated either out of the country or to a much safer area of Ukraine.  Our church has also been able to help our friends and their church which is near the fighting.  

Our local paper did an article on what we are trying to do...

HELP UKRAINE   you can read the article.

It's such a hard situation for Ukraine.  Please pray for peace!

Our family is doing good!  Steve & Nichole had an amazing missions trip to Puerto Rico.  They were encouraged by their experience and want to do more for missions.   Shad is home for a few weeks while he does on the job training then he will go back and finish the last part of his classroom training at the law enforcement academy.  We are loving having him home!  Oh did I even mention he is looking for another vehicle?  His truck caught on fire as he was driving....total loss!  His second totaled vehicle in 3 months.... neither his fault but at this point I won't ride with him LOL

Selah has been doing good.  Our goal is to visit her 3-4x a week.  It's not also doable because of the distance and time but we are pretty close to our goal.  This past week she had some type of episode and they called the ambulance.  Everything was ok and she got to spend the whole day with me in the ER.  While there she did have 3 of her little episodes.  They aren't seizures but they look like a seizure.  Her neurologist thinks it's signs of her brain stem deteriorating  There is nothing that can be done for it.  Other than that she is doing good.  

Sam is on a more even keel lately.  Whatever was going on with him for the past few moths has calmed down.    We along with his doctors are being to think it's almost a seasonal depression that also is related to vertigo.  He now goes to the complex care clinic at Arnold Palmer and we are very pleased with it.  He has seen some specialists and has a slew more to see in May.  Hopefully we will have a game plan soon.  He did have some bloodwork and xrays done just to rule out a few things but nothing popped up.

Sarah is doing good.  We are still quite paranoid about her.  We all write down all her food and meds.  I'm learning how to make some old familiar dishes with no milk products or  use some plant based non lactose products.  Tomorrow she has her new patient appointment at the AP complex care clinic.  We are really glad to get her in!  Right now they aren't taking new patients but thankfully took her.  She originally had an appointment while she was in the hospital recovering from surgery.  Luckily they rescheduled.  

This weekend we were all together and I never take it for granted anymore.  All those years of everyone being home with us I treasure so much.  I was so blessed-those days seemed to last forever and I could never imagine my boys all grown up.  It all happened so fast!  But I am so thankful for the memories and the new different kind of memories of meeting up going out to eat and shopping.  Meeting over at Selah's group home all together to do some things and see her.  I love my peeps!

Here in Florida the windows and doors are opened and we are loving the weather!  Since some of my kids have "flown the coop" I got some baby chicks.  OH.MY.LORD. what a pain!  And they all 4 hate me!  I can tame any animal but not these stupid feral chicks!  My other chickens love me. Hopefully they will learn to love me but I'm doubting it.  I've even starting to give them treats but it does no good. 

They are 3 weeks old today and already starting to look ugly!  Nothing like a teen chick lol  These pictures are when I first got them.

Barred Rocks

Speckled Sussex

I got them at Tractor Supply because I wanted them sexed.  No Roos for me!

Currently we have 11 outside cats (I took a mama and her kittens all are spayed now!

7 chickens and 1 sweet dog who loves them all

19 animals!  WOW! I'm willing to share!  I have all the cats spayed/neutered and have their shots!  All are sweet and probably litter boxed trained (mama and her kittens are) Just contact me if you'd like a nice cat or two!

Ukraine Update

 These past days have kept my focus on Ukraine and the people we love that are still there.  Without going into detail yet there are many things going on.  Please pray that God will protect the innocents!  We are helping where we can and hoping to do more.  

If you would like to give- here are three places you can give and I can assure it will be used for the purpose that is stated.

First our church

Grace Church

7060 Berry Road

Zephyrhills FL 33540

send a check and put Ukraine at the "for" line.  We have several situations going on where we can directly give to certain individuals in order to buy supplies food medicine and hopefully get some folks out of the country!

Another long time ministry that has been in Ukraine for almost 2 decades Life2Orphans  Yall know I've mentioned them many times.  They have worked all over the country of Ukraine for all these years and are still helping.  LIFE2ORPHAN Facebook  is there current fund raiser.  Please give

Then there is this family.....wow! I'm surprised they have not been on the news....  This mama was running into Ukraine when every American I knew was running out!  She managed to get 2 of the boys out.  There is a glitch for the last boy- he is legally their child yet his paperwork was not correct (Ukraine's fault) and he is still there.  And that crazy Mama, she's getting ready to leave to go back and get him.  I don't think she is going into Ukraine but to a bordering country.  Pray for them and give to them.  I'm sure the fees are going to be high.  What their account is showing is all the money that has come in during the past year or so.  Most if not all of that money has been used so they will need more to get this little fellow.  I have to say this woman has earned my respect!

Miss.hildebrant@gmail.com

this is her and her new 15 YEAR old son who just spent several weeks in the hospital.  Yes you  read that right this child is 15 years old.  Please give and help this family to have the finances to get the remaining boy.

My heart is heavy for friends and loved ones.  In all my years I've never ever felt such darkness.  There is everything going on in the world and I have some heavy situations in "my world"  All I can say is But God.... 

There are several situations I'm involved in and we are just praying that God will make a way.  I'll share more when I can but God knows and He alone can work things out.  

Just a quick note for anyone who is in doubt about what is happening in Ukraine.  The GOOD guys are the Ukrainians.  There is no question.  If you read or hear things differently do not believe it.  It is not made up.  My mind is blown by some of the stupid things I'm hearing...

Quick lesson - Ukraine is its own separate country with its own identity.  The country's roots go back over a thousand years but it has always had to deal with Russia/Poland.  The most recent history was Ukraine was recognized as a sovereign country in 1917 but in 1922 (100 years ago) Ukraine became one of the founding members or the Soviet Union after fighting.  Of course Russia held control over Ukraine and managed to kill about 5 million Ukrainians by starving them to death.  That is called the Holodomor.  During WWII Ukraine was occupied by both Germany and Russia.  Many Ukrainians fought against both.  In the words of a Ukrainian friend "it was a very complicated situation"   

In 1991 when the USSR was dissolved Ukraine became a sovereign nation.  They have had some things to overcome but year by year the country was becoming more Westernized with the idea of freedom!   The Ukrainians fought against corruption and managed to overthrow corrupt presidents including the one in 2014.  At the same time Russia overtook Crimea and some of the Doneskt region   Now the Russians want to take over all of Ukraine.  But this is only the first step.  Putin wants the old USSR back and on this the 100 year anniversary of its beginning he is fighting to start it again  

In 1994 Ukraine gave up their nuclear weapons and signed a memorandum for security Assurances which basically said they give up their weapons but we would protect them....  What the Budapest Memorandum means for the U.S. on Ukraine - The Washington Post  it is a bit murky but I do not think the world is living up to this.  

When we were in Ukraine everyone talked politics to some degree.  They all wanted a free democratic country where they could live in peace.  It is so sad to see what is happening while the world lights up buildings in blue and yellow.....

Please pray and give to the organizations I mentioned or to others you know about personally.  But be careful to where your money goes.  

LOSS IN UKRAINE

 

This war is becoming more personal.  Last night a man we knew and worked with during our adoption was killed in Kyvi

Serge worked with us on our complicated adoption. He went with us to the Ministry of Adoption where we were given the girls files. He “liberated” the few baby pictures we have of the girls from another file. He arranged our transportation & apartments while we were in Kiev. Last night he was killed as he fought for his homeland (although he was an American citizen) May he RIP & receive his reward for the good he did for the orphans.

**** it seems he is the first American to die in this war.

Please pray for Ukraine! Today our church raised $1300 to help out a church in Ukraine. The pastor and staff we have known for 10 years. We hope to continue to help!

The other group I can endorse is Life 2 Orphans. We have worked with them over a decade!

https://www.life2orphans.org/ Life 2 Orphans They are raising money to get some orphans out of Ukraine and for food and meds

My heart is sad. Please world do more than just light up your statutes! HELP UKRAINE!!!!

Ukraine

 It was almost 10 years ago that we flew to Ukraine to get our girls.  To be honest when I found that Sarah was in Ukraine I had to go to the globe and look for it.  Of course I knew it used to be part of the old USSR and I knew it was in Eastern Europe.  That's where my knowledge ended.  After 2 months in Ukraine my knowledge of the country had grown as had my love for it.  I've never lived in another country for such a long period of time other than the US.  

We really fell in love with Ukraine despite the challenges of daily life there.  We had a wonderful facilator and once we got to the girls town we found a church to worship in and were completely embraced by their love.  It was difficult to communicate but we managed.  We've kept in touch with so many from Ukraine and have made new friends since then of different ministries that work with the orphans and special needs community.  

I hated to leave in some ways and we had hoped to return but were not able to do so.

In 2014, just two years later the area our girls were from fell under Russian rule and many friends left because they were not wanted there.  Our ministry friends just moved to another area and began a work.  We encouraged them years ago to relocate to the US but they told us they were where God wanted them to be.  

Now they and others have no where to go.  They are in harm's way.  I'm being careful with what I'm writing tonight because ai do not want to cause any harm to them.  There are so many people facing unimaginable terror.  Our hearts are broken.  Our TV is on constantly and I'm scanning the internet trying to check on all the ones we care so much about.  

The original place our girls were at was closed and all the children/adults were sent to another orphanage in 2014.  We've kept in touch with many and our church was able to do their Christmas program this past year.  

Now so many in harm's way.  We have friends who work in various ministries throughout Ukraine.  Most left a few have stayed..... A family I know completed the adoption of 3 children recently but one had passport issues and could not leave the country.  They were forced to leave him while the government works on his paperwork.  

Please join with so many others around the world and pray for the peace of Ukraine and supernatural safety for the most vulnerable.

It's odd seeing so many posts about this country (and of course everyone is an expert lol)  Today we saw a video of the very street we stayed on in Kiev!  Surreal!    We constantly see video with the backdrop as the big church that the Ministry of Adoption was behind. 

I have so many news articles posted on my public FB page and I'm tempted to put them on here too but it's so sad.  Our hearts just break!  We knew even back in 2012 there were rumblings and of course 2014 had so much happening but then there was some "peace" even tho Doneskt was occupied.  But now this is worse than I could have ever imagined.  

Please pray for Ukraine!  Our church will be sending some financial help.  Every penny that comes in will go to help the people of Ukraine.  If you would like to give please write a check to GRACE CHURCH 7060 Berry Road, Zephyrhills FL 33540.  If you give to any ministry or humanitarian effort make sure you know who you are giving to.  I'd advise to give to someone who has been in country for a long time.  Don't give to anything you don't know about!

The loving people of Ukraine are showing the world that they are brave.  In fact some of their bravery is absolutely heartbreakingly brave!