Where I came from...

ok I didn't come from Mars!
I grew up in a small town, Perry Florida. It's in the "Big Bend" area of North Florida. It was and still is quite isolated being 50 miles from Tallahassee and at least 25 miles from the nearest small town. I was actually born in Tallahassee almost on US 19 if the story is true. I was born into a very dysfunctional situation. My parents were in the process of separating/divorcing and I was the youngest of four "stair steps" My truck driving father also had several children from a previous marriage or relationship that lived in the "home" It was a very poor situation for a newborn to be in. My grandmother lived next door and she was probably a factor in the chaos that surrounded us. I was a sickly child which didn't help the situation much. At some point my mom began waitressing at the Walker Truck Stop where several of my female relatives worked. She let my great aunt Boots (that would be my grandmother's sister) start keeping me pretty much full time soon after I was born. Boot Mama (that is what I called her) was already 66 when she took me to raise. She was born in September of 1899.

I only have one memory of my father and it was when I was about 2 or so. My mother was living in a small trailer. I'm not sure if he was still living there or not. But she was sick and Boot Mama took her some food. He came into the trailer and had an argument with my mother. Looking back he was probably drunk. He pushed my sister Laura down and slammed out the door. Not a real Hallmark moment. When I was in college I had some weird thought to get in touch with him. He only lived in south Georgia. I actually sent him some pictures and a letter but never heard back from him. About 10 years ago I got a phone call from a lady who introduced herself as a younger half sister. She explained to me that "our father" had died from colon cancer and cirrus of the liver. She was contacting me to get me to sign over my right of any "inheritance". He had an old truck and a trailer. I told her she could definitely have my part! She then went on to tell me about him and the family in Georgia. Needless to say it was the typical poor rural Southerner lifestyle that can easily go on Jerry Springer. I have never heard from any of them again.

My mother soon left Perry herself taking with her my 2 brothers and 1 sister. She lived up and down the East coast, concentrating on cities where there were naval bases. I saw her about 4 times in my growing up years. Each time she was "married" to a different man. My poor siblings had a rough life. My mother is still alive and in poor health. Although she is only in her mid 60's she is on various meds and wheelchair bound. She lived a rough life and it shows. I have not seen her in about 20 years nor do I have the desire to do so. She wants to see my kids but I gave my oldest son the option and he did not want to meet her. She still lives in chaos and problems. When I do talk to her it's what I call a "Jerry Springer phone call". It is overwhelming to me.

My siblings have each had quite a bit of difficulty in their lives and I hold our parents responsible. I'm not going to share about them out of respect to what all they have gone through. I really don't have much of a relationship with them but do enjoy talking to them on the phone occasionally. One of my brothers hasn't been heard from in years by anyone and I just hope he is ok. Maybe life just got too much for him.

So I grew up with my great aunt and her husband who I called Poppie. Her sister Ruby also lived with us. We had an old wooden frame house on the poorer side of town. Although back then most of Perry was poor. My aunts took me every service to the Church of God right down the street from our house. Back then it was a large interesting congregation and very Pentecostal. I'll have to share some funny stories about it some time.

We had quite a bit of land which was farmed and had chickens, pigs, cats, doge, ducks, rabbits etc. When I was only 2 Poppie died and my Uncle Mack (my great aunts brother) moved in with us soon after. I always adored my Uncle Mack, he was a father figure to me. Until I was 12 I was pretty happy. There were the animals, the farm, the huge grapevine that my uncle put a swing under for me so I could play and read on it. School was ok, I was in gifted classes always and found school work easy. I did get picked on quite a bit especially the older I got, wearing coke bottled glasses didn't help. I didn't really miss having parents. I felt loved.

Then my uncle got lung cancer and died in the summer of 1976. It was traumatic for me. Soon after my Boot Mama began a decline in her health. She was diagnosed with Parkinson's and Alzheimer's when I was in Jr. High. She died when I was a senior in high school. During my teenage years, I was unhappy. It was a rough time to say the least. Probably the only thing that kept me out of major trouble was the Lord!! My aunt Ruby had no desire to be the primary caretaker of an Alzheimer's patient and a teenage girl at the same time. She was a difficult person, with some mental issues. There were people in my life that helped to guide me. My best friend's mom Mrs. Harris was a rock as well as some pastors and their families.

Well I was sure not planning to remain in Perry and really felt God calling me to Bible College. I found out about Southeasten through a pastor's wife and really felt God was leading me there. I actually have a frozen picture in my mind of going to the mail box and getting out Southeasten's catalogue and feeling God speak to my heart saying to go there. I didn't even know where Lakeland Florida was! My family was not at all thrilled with the idea and fought me all the way. SEC is an Assembly of God college and that was a big factor against it in their minds. I was determined and did everything to make it happen, including picking peaches in Madison Florida with migrant workers to raise the money. No one helped me with the expenses but it was a good character building time. I look back on that time with fondness At the time it was rough but it really did build in me a self reliance and a reliance on God.

So I came to good old Southeatern fall of 1984. I always say SEC was my salvation in many ways. In my next post I will share about my years at SEC. However the content might not be suitable for young readers...just kidding! It was a blast!