Selah's Story

Someone asked if I'd tell our story/Selah's story to my new readers. If you go back to November 2011 on, you can read it in more detail...but here goes...

Last summer we were a happy family with our three boys...Jon & I are in our late 40's and thought we were complete. We had thought about adoption right after we adopted Shad but that adoption didn't work out. So we thought we were done...and we were fine with it.

Then....a friend posted a blog about a family who had adopted a 12 year old from Bulgaria who weighed 12 pounds she had Downs and was horribly mistreated...I read about their journey & was just amazed! In that blog, they mentioned Reece's Rainbow. Well I looked...and googled "blind children' and three kids came up...Sarah (named Genesis for their purpose to not share her real name), Dimitry and Michelle. Sarah looked JUST like Sam. In the awful picture, her head was shaved and I thought she was a he. She looked so much like Sam, that I was blown away. I turned the computer off, I was just sick on my stomach. Her little blurb talked about the fact she was in an adult mental institution. That night I couldn't sleep, I tossed & turned and thought "what if that were Sam????" I prayed for all three children but especially her (although I thought at the time, she was a boy) The next Sunday was the first Sunday in November which has become "orphan Sunday" I talked to Jon and we decide to take up an offering and put money on a grant for all three children to help someone to adopt them. So we took up an offering. Then by that Sunday evening I had decided a one time offering of a little less than $300 just was not enough! Our church Grace Church had just gone through a building program and because of the generosity of other churches and individuals, we owed no money at all on the more than $100,000 worth of repairs! So I thought our church needed to step up and raise the full amount for all three children to get families....

The next day I called the director of Reece's Rainbow and shared all that with her. I'm sure she thought I was a bit of a kook but she wasn't the first nor would be the last to think that LOL!

So that idea lasted for about 3 days LOL! On Wednesday night I met my husband outside our house after he drove up and told him I didn't want anyone else to adopt Sarah! He totally agreed...the next morning I was back to calling the director of Reece's Rainbow...well just that past Monday I told her that we wanted to help those kids but we were NOT going to adopt them! LOLOL!! So now I'm telling her we wanted to adopt Sarah and Dimitry since they were at the same adult mental institution! I'm sure she thought I was truly a kook then!!!!!

We wanted to commit to Sarah (Genesis) and Dimitry. But RR wasn't sure if that was a good idea as they were at mental institution where there were concerns about adopting from. (Come to find out, we were 100% welcomed there) but we committed to Sarah and began the process of compiling a dossier.

I put on FB what we were doing and how much money we needed for our "American" side of the adoption. Within THREE hours the total amount that we needed to get started came in as pledges! CRAZY!

So we ran through the adoption process, mostly due to the fact we had a great social worker who we had worked together with before in Shad's adoption and plus I was totally motivated to get the dossier done. I had all our paperwork done in 8 weeks!!! Somewhere along the line we committed to Dimitry also who we had planned to rename Seth.

Our fiances were coming in. On December 31, 2011, we estimated that we need over $17,000 to complete the adoption. On that day OVER $10,000 came in! Some through the fund that Reece's Rainbow set up for us and some from a family who gave through our church. Then God spoke to my heart and told me that the reminder would come in all at one time...Two weeks later it did....So we wre fully funded and our paperwork was in country. Then we waited for a travel date...that was sooooo hard! Throughout the process I had a fear that one of the children would die. It was a real fear because that happens. One family just lost the child they were hoping to adopt only NINE days before they were to travel. It's a real life and death struggle in Ukraine. Ukraine is a very poor country with little health care available.

Well one morning I got a email from our facilitator...I read it and just started bawling! Another family had adopted Dimitry...it just broke our hearts. I was sad and angry. Oh that day was just awful!!! If you adopt from Ukraine, the child you want to adopt is not held for you. Some countries do hold a child but Ukraine feels that the child should have every chance of a family and it is in the child's interest that they are not held. Many times adoptive families do back out on adoptions and if the child's case has been held, it may keep another family from moving forward for the child. I actually agree with how it is done but it is scary while you are adopting! So that day I was a mess! But I determined I was going to trust God. I've said this before,and I'll say it again, I've been bitter and I know how awful that place is! I will not go back to there again! So we worked through the disappointment as a family and looked at it as a blessing for Dimitry that he would have a family before we could get there and that he was already being cared for and loved on. He had more special needs so who knows if he would have survived until we got there. Maybe he would have gotten pneumonia or a flu in the weeks before we could come? God knows what is best. (FYI, we are now quite good friends with his family and love them and are sooo happy for him and them! They worked with another facilitator and didn't know us. It's great to be friends with them and see him blossom and grow. We hope one day to meet in person:)

So then we were bombarded it seemed by pictures of other children that were there and available for adoption...the first picture was of Selah. Her condition was listed as blind and Cerebral palsy. We doubted she was blind because of the way she looked into the camera in every picture we saw of her. We were cautious but went ahead and changed our home study to include her age and all her disabilities.

This all happened about 6 weeks before we left. Then I started getting excited about having TWO little girls! ME, the mother of THREE boys, would get to have PINK!!!! Let the shopping begin LOLOLOL!!!!

Then we left on March 30th, met the girls on April 4th, went to court, finally were allowed to take them out on May 5th, got home on May 9th after all the embassy stuff...then we had a wonderful magical summer. Selah was most certainly NOT blind nor did she have CP. Both girls were just a joy to have and they fit into our family like they were the missing pieces! Over and over throughout the summer, I would just tell God how thankful I was for my life and my five children! I told Jon several times that I had NEVER been happier before in my life. We had these three great boys who we adored and now we were blessed with these two precious angels who just fit in and were so easy to parent. Our biggest challenge was getting the three little ones into the van. Sam and Selah don't walk all that good and Sarah doesn't walk yet so it was challenging if you were by yourself to get everyone in and strapped! Truly that was my biggest challenge! Selah and Sarah were pure joy:) There were none of the problems that we anticaped of adopting older children from a mental institution! What a marvelous summer it was, introducing them to new things, planning their wardrobe ( no they didn't care but it was fun to me to put them in new outfits daily!) What fun we had!


On August 10th we left Florida to drive up here for Sam's yearly check up and to see if Sarah would be eligible for a corneal implant. We took our time driving, stopped in Mt Airy NC to visit Andy Griffith's hometown, had a great time. We got here and on August 14, Sam and Sarah had EUA (exam under anesthesia) Sam's eyes were perfect, five years out from his corneal implant. Dr Aquevella had some concerns about Sarah's eye being strong enough to have the operation. So she was scheduled for a MRI on August 16th.

Selah's 8th birthday was on August 14, the day Sam and Sarah had the EUAs. We were at this hospital from 6 am till 4 pm. It was pouring rain that night so we stayed in and ate at the RMH...we really didn't celebrate her birthday, we planned to do so on August 15th.

The accident happened on Aug 15th.

We did get Sarah an MRI the next week but determined her eye is too fragile for the operation.

BTW, the other little girl Michelle who was at another mental institution has a family now also!

DAILY UPDATE:

Jon stayed throughout the day with Selah and I stayed with the other four. Today she has battled very very high blood pressures. One medicine was tried but it brought her heart rate up too high. She has been given a different one now and thankfully her body has responded to it perfectly! Please keep praying for her!

Jon felt like she responded to him today in a new way. Se was mimicking the noises she used to make for different things (she was non verbal) and she began moving her lips as if she were copying him. I took over at 7pm and felt like she was very far away. She is extremely stiff tonight, her limbs feel like a piece of wood. She has just been given some meds for that also. Their hope is that she will relax her limbs as it causes more damage to her range of motion. She seems very far away tonight and again I am just hanging on in faith. PLEASE pray for her!

Our family was blessed today by the Rochester Macy's! They invited us to come and shop with them! It was a fun but a bit overwhelming experience:) They gave us about $150 in free mechanise and then gave us crazy discounts on everything else we bought:) All the boys got a Nike jogging suit and jeans and a long sleeved shirt. Steve somehow got a 2nd Nike shirt and soft jogging pants (don't know how that happened LOL) Got Sarah a PJ set and a new outfit too. We had a wonderful manager with us helping me or I'd probably been so overwhelmed I would have left long before I did! She insited that I get something and Jon too and we actually both got several things. It was fun and we met some really sweet folks! Thanks to the manager Bill and his assistant Amanda!!!!!! You guys just blessed our family so much and in such a sweet warm way:) Steve and Shad can't wait to wear their new clothes! They are excited and hoping it will get cooler quick!!!! We are truly thankful for your kindness to our family!

Y'all know we're from the south....but we have met some wonderful folks up here in the north and have experienced "Northern Hospitality"! We are daily amazed by all the kindness we have been shown! We are blessed with this great hospital and staff who do all they can for Selah and truly seem to care even about little details! We are blessed with the Ronald McDonald House and staff and volunteers who truly care about our family as if we were part of their family! The community of Rochester has been kind to us in so many ways & has reached out to us~ During this trying time we have been surrounded by so much love! We have a college friend Charlene Wallenbeck who comes every day and stays with our other four kids so Jon & I can come up to the hospital together for some time! Our hearts are overflowing with thankfulness for all the kindness so many here have shown to us! The readers of my blog have been so uplifting in their responses, we have so many friends all over the world praying for Selah...calls, texts, emails, cards, packages, gift cards, food, checks...people reaching out in practical ways...it blows us away. It's been a great lesson for Steve and Shad to see how much it means to reach out to others when trying times come! They are so appreciative also. We can't help but weep at times from just the love we've recieved from so many...THANK YOU ALL!!!!

Breathing on her own!!!!

Selah is off the vent breathing on her own through the trach!!!!! She also has had pedilyte introduced in to her feeding tube and she is handling it great! She has done great physically through the surgery and in her recovery. Thank you for your prayers! She is not quite as awake as she has been so we haven't really seen as much respond. Yesterday when she first came back from surgery, she didn't seem to have much control over her tongue. But today she is able to hold it in her mouth better. Evidently three week on a vent, can cause some weakness in that area.

She still has high blood pressures and no one knows the reason why. Tonight the Renal specialist came by and examined her. They will decide if she needs meds for her high blood pressure and what can be causing it.

I had a odd experience today, almost passed out right when she came off the respirator and had some chest pain. They took me down to ER and ran a bunch of tests. Everything was fine and I feel pretty silly! I guess the stress of everything finally got to me! It was scary to have chest pains. I was sitting typing when I almost passed out. I had enough sense to hand Jon my laptop LOL! It was NOT going down with me!

So we are still trusting in the God who has brought us this far! I'm amazed at how He has given us the grace to walk these past 3 weeks. We have surely experienced "the peace that passes all understanding" It's beyond my understanding for sure!

Please keep praying for more responses to us! pray that she will recover neurologically. We thank you for your prayers!!!

HOPE

Four months ago today we walked out of an Ukraine Mental Institution with Selah and Sarah. Three weeks ago today the accident happened. Today Selah had her g-tube and trach put in. She did great thank God! Tonight I can look at her sweet little face without all the tape and tubes!

The plan is to try and wean her off the vent. Right now the setting is very low, 8 breathes a minute, she is doing all the breathing over that. The doctors expect her to be able to breath totally on her own. The reason she had to have the trach is that she is not swallowing/gagging or coughing and would aspirate on her saliva. When she gets the cough/gag reflex back the trach will be able to come out. You notice I said when and not if....I believe she will get the cough/gag back!

Since this happened three weeks ago, God has answered many prayers. Our first answered prayer is that Selah lived! She was not expected to live at all! We were repeatably told she would not live...but she did. Second, we prayed for the fevers to go and they did. Third we prayed for her to have a corneal reaction and she did. Fourth we prayed for her kidney function to recover and it did. Fifth we prayed for some neurological response and we believe she responded to Jon today before her surgery.

She has had some movements but they have not been "good purposeful" movements. They were what is called "posturing" which indicated neurological damage. All her limbs move at the same time in response to pain/pressure or stimulation. Today she seemed to make some purposeful movement when Jon said "Selah come to daddy" She seemed to lift and turn her head towards him (and he was on her left side which is not the side she seems to favor. Her limbs did not move all together (which was good-less chance of this being posturing) She did it 4 times ONLY when he said "Selah come to daddy" Then I called the nurse into see it. She didn't think it was posturing but said she wasn't sure of what she was seeing.

I wasn't sure if I was going to share this...it is a very small step and she needs to show constancy with this. We have been disappointed before with Sam who has done something once or twice and then NEVER did it again. So we are cautious about getting too excited about this and really would appreciate restraint on your part too LOL! Certainly it is good and anything that is not a step backwards is great but we have been extremely disappointed in some small strides Sam made that he never could repeat again to be too excited UNTIL we see a good consistent pattern. But we are excited and do feel like it was a true response.

The doctors have told us they feel all of her cerebral brain function is gone. That 's the part of the brain that is her intellect and her personality. They feel she only has a small part of her brain stem left The brain stem controls the basic functions like breathing, pain, temperature control (the concern with the fevers), gag/cough reflexes etc.... So since she doesn't seem to have even all of her brain stem function, it is hard for them to think she has anything above it. I don not think the doctors are trying to mislead us. They see near drownings all the time and know how things usually go. I believe they would be thrilled to see her exceed their expectations but they have seen so much they do not want us to get our hopes up.

So we are cautiously optimist and we are trusting in God. We are very thankful for the care she has received here at Strongs'. This is a great hospital with a wonderful approach to the whole person and family. So while we are thankful for the care she has received physically we know our real HOPE is in the Lord. We have been told over and over that there is nothing that can be done for her neurologically....

So please pray that Selah will respond more and more neurologically. Pray that all will see it and that God will get the glory for it. That is one thing that is for sure, if she recovers neurologically it will be God. Nothing can be done by any doctors for her at this time. They acknowledge that. We have some hope for some stem cell research but that is in the future.

Our hope is in God who made heaven and earth...pray for Selah!

Out of Surgery!

Out of surgery, she lookds great! Got a "mickey g-tube" like I'd hoped for. All the tubing and tape is gone from her face:) We can see her again and it is great! She didn't have one issue in surgery, it went perfect! Thanks for the prayers!!!!!!!

Surgery

Selah is in surgery. Her G-tube has been placed and now they are working on her trach. No complications thus far. Thanks for the prayers!

Surgery tomorrow~ Five months ago

Selah's surgery is scheduled for tomorrow at 2:30 pm. Of course it might end up being a bit later. She will have her trach and feeding tube put in. Please pray that everything will go perfectly and she will recover quickly.

Five months ago today we met Selah and Sarah, hard to imagine it's been five months! In some ways they have always been with us, a part of our family and in other ways it seemed just a few days ago we were meeting them. What a precious day it was to meet these little girls that had captured our hearts and dreams! Certainly, five months ago, I had no idea that just a few months later I'd be sitting beside her as she fights for her life and for her recovery. Sometimes I think if I'd just known what was coming, I would have treasured everything even more than I did. But I did treasure these past five months. They truly were the missing pieces of our family's puzzle. We didn't know we were missing a piece but we were and they fit into that spot just perfectly. This past summer has been the happiest time of my life. My heart was just filled....with love, thankfulness, happiness... I was the mom of TWO little girls who I just adored. It couldn't get any better than it was...now....I still can say my heart is still filled with love and thankfulness. But there is a deep sadness there because I want to be able to communicate with Selah and have her communicate with me. I want to hear her laugh and her little voice. I want her to scoot her booty up on the couch and come and sit with me...Please...Please pray for her!!!

Our time in Ukraine was very precious to us. Yes it was hard/different than what we were used to but a very precious time for our family. We wouldn't' trade it for anything, even the inconveniences, it taught us so much about the country our girls came from. Now looking at the pictures, there are many rich memories in them for us.

Please please pray that our precious Selah comes back to us. Today I have hope, hope that she will be restored to us. But it is faint hope to be honest. My real hope is in God, the maker of heaven and earth. Whatever the outcome will be, I'm walking with Him. See He will always walk with us, but we have to make the choice to walk with Him. That is what I am choosing today. And it is a choice, there are times when things hit me like a giant wave at the ocean. That is when I step back...and remind myself "not to be afraid" and continue walking with Him.

Pray for her tomorrow that all goes perfect and she recovers quickly. Thank you all!!!

Good day!

It looks like Selah will be scheduled for surgery on Wednesday to get her feeding tube and trach placed. If this happens, then we start our countdown towards going home. 4-6 weeks from surgery! I am content in the moment but of course we miss home and all our friends and family!

Today was the happiest day for us with her becoming more and more stable physically and actually responding to her cornea being touched! We've prayed since the accident for this! Now we need to see her cough! Her heart rate and blood pressure still go up too high but they are more on the lower side of high now. The fever is pretty much gone thank God!

This afternoon I went to a couple of thrift stores and got some great deals. Couldn't find anything for the boys, so I had to go to Kohl's to buy them both a sweatshirt jacket. Now we all have a jacket, New York will probably have a heat wave LOL!

We got a chance to eat supper with our good life long friends the Wallenbecks (or at least part of their tribe) at Cracker Barrel and they had SWEET ICE TEA! That is a rare find in the north LOL! We bought Sarah another rocking horse, she seems to miss her rocking horse so now she has one here. She was so happy on it and didn't want to get off:) I told Jon I have no idea how we will get it home but we will somehow! She loves a rocking horse and tries to make everything a rocking horse!

I'm back at the hospital. Selah is resting peacefully, with her heart rate and blood pressure down some.

Thank you all for your prayers and please continue to pray! We saw something new today, something that was unexpected...please pray now that she will cough and gag! That would be amazing. Doctors looks for a cough and gag response. It is a brain stem activity and if it is not there when something is inserted into the throat, it indicates severe brain damage. Please pray that she will start gagging and coughing when she is suctioned!!!!!!

Tonight on the way back to the hospital, we saw the biggest, orange, harvest moon. It was breathtaking! Just think the God who created that moon, cares for us! He cares for my little girl....the thought of that just blew me away! God is so faithful even when we are not! Tonight I resting in the "Peace Peace Wonderful Peace"