Birthday Shenanigans

 Getting closer and closer to 60 totally freaks me out.  There is no way around it I Am getting OLD!  60 sounds like a real senior citizen!  This year i turned 58!  Who??? Me  In my mind I feel like I'm about 25.  Most of the time I feel like I'm my older kids' ages until I'm around a group of them and then I feel like I'm 100 years old LOL  This year my husband turns 60!  It's unreal when folks tell you how times flies- cause it really does!

This year was different to say the least-there was a lot of drama and not from me!

During last week we ate supper with my oldest son and his wife.  She is so talented-she made this beautiful charcuterie board.  It was too pretty to eat but we did!  

The weird thing is we stopped to pick up a few things on the way to their house and a guy just randomly cussed at my husband!  Then as we drove by our church some guy was filling the church dumpster up.  We stopped to ask him to stop and let's just say that didn't go well- 911 got called!  Then of course my son wants us to watch this action drama that just makes me stressed out!  We watched it but it stressed me out!  

Then last weekend I finally found someone to take my Roosters who actually wanted some Roos but it was kinda sad.  We gave them 8 or 9...after they left I noticed one of the White Leghorns hiding in the coop.  He'd been acting depressed and keeping to himself.  I thought he was being picked on.  But I noticed his crop was distended more that it should be.  That happens  although it shouldn't with my chickens because i do everything by the book.  But chickens will eat anything and it can get stuck in there.  Sunday he was worst so before church I moved him to my isolation pen  and decided I best clean the big coops out just in case it was something else.  Remember this is Sunday morning- a pastor's wife busiest day!  Sundays are rough on me because Jon is at the prison doing a service and I have to get the kids up and to church on my own.  It's not the easiest thing to do physically.  Shad is usually home after working all night and I don't bother him unless he got home early enough to go to church.  

So cleaning the coop is not awful but it takes some time and is dirty!  I was trying to hurry so I did not take the normal precautions and did it in my PJs and flip flops.  OH MY LORD!  What was I thinking?  By the time I realized how stupid that was I had poop all over me.   At one point a glob fell in my hair, I literally stopped and decided if I"d just go ahead and die right there in the coop.  But Sam and Sarah were asleep in bed and needed me!  BTW my hair turned out beautifully!  Nothing like some chicken poop as conditioner!!! 

Back to my sick rooster  I tried all the old wives tales fixes but nothing was working which led my to my birthday morning.....The night before I read that Monistat the same meds that women use for yeast infections can work for chickens.  It is given orally.  So I got up early to run to the store to get the meds.  

As I go out to the yard I see feathers all over the yard!  We had had a feral chicken come up a few weeks ago and I just loved her.  She was a little red hen that I called Henny Penny.  She had just gotten to the point she'd come to me for feed but I could not get her to go in the coop.  Well something got her and ate her in my yard-all except some guts that my dog Molly ran over to and ate up as fast as she could.  I'm still retching over that!  Then I realized one of the 10 out door cats was missing.  A few weeks ago she had fallen from the roof (yes cats can get hurt in falls.)  Nothing was broke but she was bruised up.  I'd kept her on the back patio (my ICU unit) for a few days and she was better but now she was missing!  Well Happy Birthday to me!  I still set off to get the yeast meds for the rooster.  Of course nothing was open on my side of town until I got to the CVS.  Let me just tell you I looked rough.  Other people might be more spiritual but for me as a pastor's wife I have the Monday morning hangovers sometimes LOL  And my Sunday had not been restful and my Monday was not off to a great start either!  In spite of everything I saw this fellow on the garbage can eating.  He let me get right up on him.  That was a nice little surprise

So i get the meds and go home to take care of the Roo.  Even as sick as he was he was humiliated to get treated with Monistat!  Bless his heart.  I had plans for the day so after treating him and making sure he had everything I left him alone.  I was really hoping he would make it but he didn't.  As always I learn from the deaths of my chickens.  It amazes me that growing up we had the same chickens for literally years.  I think these chickens nowadays along with other animals are not as healthy genetically as animals used to be although we have better medicine for them.  Chickens are fragile and so much can go wrong.  I try and learn from everything so hopefully it gives me the experience i need to be able to protect and diagnose/treat them earlier.  

The day got better thank God!  I ate lunch with my sweet daughter in law and we went to Hobby Lobby.  In the past I made fun of people who were obsessed with Hobby Lobby...I can no longer do that!  I blame my obsession on my DIL!  Since I was in the big town of Lakeland I was able to take care of a bunch of errands but in the process I did too much and my foot that was operated on a few months ago hurt so bad.  The whole back of it was swollen, I finally got home after picking up Shad's presents since we share a birthday.  His sweet girlfriend was down for a couple of days and had left me some nice surprises in the guest room.  Shad was at work, Jon took care of the kids and I "took to the bed" with a heating pad on my back and an ice pack wrapped around my foot and a muscle relaxer! I deserved that!

Today I got another present from Shad.  It was the SAME candle he had bought me as one of my Christmas presents!  Read it!  He knows that is the truth- but what made it so funny is he had forgotten he bought it for me for Christmas!    It's arranged with one of his senior pictures like folks do when someone dies....there are times during high school I thought someone would die!  

Remember the missing cat?  Tonight I fed the cats and then went to lock up the chickens including my outdoor rooster that I'd tricked him and his girl into the pen so they wouldn't get killed.  When I came back to the house guess who was waiting to be feed?  Broke back cat....bless it it has a twin so I've never been able to tell them apart till now.  She acted completely normal just extremely hungry.  I have no idea what happened with it!  It's not like any neighbors would take it.  It wasn't in our shed as we go in and out of it all the time.  It wasn't hurt in any way.... who knows!    It was gone about 48 hours and looked rough.  But she ate and was purring.  I put her back in ICU aka back porch! You are welcomed to give her a name I'm thinking Lazarus! 

And today Sarah and I got our hair cut.  Next week she has testing so I wanted her hair to look nice.While we were there my favorite stylist was in, the only person I rust with my hair since most want to give me a bob!  Anyhow I let her do something and she cut off 3 inches!  I feel bald! LOL Actually it feels really good and healthy. About every two years I have some of it trimmed.  She may have been lying but she said she did not see any grey hairs except right over my ears!  I don't color my hair yet but I do not judge because that day is coming for me!  

So my 58th year is off to some crazy kind of start!  But here we go!  

Respite Care and Self Care

 

People talk about how important "self care" is especially for a caregiver and it's true.   For many years I just rolled my eyes at that kind of talk but over the past few years I've begun to realize that is so true.  Up until 7 years ago I felt very selfish if I did anything for myself by myself because other family members had to pitch in and they needed a break too.  But after Jon had his heart attack it was clear both he and I needed some breaks!  Thankfully we got Respite care.  Since Sam was little he had been on the wait list for Medi-wavier which is the only place funding for Respite care comes from in Florida (that I know of)  When the heart attack and surgery happened I was very alone.  Our oldest was in college and I was overwhelmed.  My dear friend Guy who has passed away now asked me what I needed and I needed someone to stay with Sam and Sarah (Selah had nursing) so I could be with Jon and he paid for it.  (I had forgotten that till right now- God bless him)  After that situation I knew I needed a care giver in place to help me out. I applied for emergency status and this dear older lady got our case.  She was retiring and told me working on my case was her last case.  She also said if anyone needed respite care it was us!  She got everything in, we found an agency and they came over to meet us with a quiet sweet 19 year old girl..... Well God bless her she never left us now 7 years later Ashley works with and knows my kids almost as good as we do!  Sam and Sarah are very unique as they are very delayed as well as blind (Sam has some little sight but is still considered legally blind) We have to learn  their "language" it's not them learning our language.  But she learned it along with us and our older kids.  That gives Sam and Sarah people who understand them.  

Through a twist of government bureaucracy last year we thought all their funding was taken away but in the end it all worked for their favor and Ashley was able to start her own company.  It's been hard but she is almost to the point of being able to hire others to work with our kids and other people who need assistance.  For Sam and Sarah it is one step down from nursing care- they can't take care of themselves without help from bathing, toileting to feeding.   And despite their ages they need someone with them all the time.  

Respite care helps our family.  Respite care is somewhat like daycare but in our home which is better for Sam and Sarah medically and emotionally.  For Jon and I we are able to do our normal responsibilities like work and exercising  for him and me things like going grocery shopping, doctor appointments. and work at the church without having to bring them with me which is impossible.  I can safety take one or the other child with me but not both.  We are also able to be with our older boys and focus on them at times whether it's a movie or just going out to eat.  Times like that are important to the health of our family.  98% of the time we include the little kids but sometimes we need to just be able to focus with the other ones.  I also try and go to see Selah in her group home at least 2x a week.  Respite care enables me to spend that quality time with her.  

Respite care helps me at home.  Physically it's getting hard and harder for us to take care of them.  Having her to give them baths and other personal care  is such a blessing.  The things I could do 10 years ago are not quite the things I can do today without hurting!  The great thing is I can do things at home while she is caring for them. They can be outside or doing fun things while Mama is working and doing laundry which helps all of us.  Honestly at this time of my life I only have the energy to do one or the other!  And I hate that!  

But the most important thing is when a situation happens medically there is someone to stay with the other child while we are with the sick child at the hospital.  Or if Jon or I get sick or have appointments.  We are so blessed with this assistance.  My kids have never gotten much in the way of governmental assistance but this one program really helps us more than anything else. 

Respite care also helps out for me to do something relaxing  once a week or so whether it is lunch with a friend or going to the Y for an exercise class.  For years I'd walk about 5 miles a day  but since foot surgery I can't do that yet. Well I can do it but I pay for it later!  Recently I did a "Float"  for awhile I had been seeing ads for floating in a salt water.  The water has a heavy concentration of Epson Salts.  It's supposed to really help with pain and stiffness which I have in abundance.  I found a $49 special near us.  In fact it was near Selah's group home so I floated and spent the rest of the afternoon with her 

It was an interesting experience.  When a person gets there they are asked to rinse off in the shower.  This particular office had private rooms and baths.  You are given 15 minutes prior to get ready and 15 minutes after to shower and dress in privacy.  The water is so salty you can not help but to float, You are given this "head ring" to rest your head on & ear plugs to keep the water out.  At first I kept the lid open because the room is dark (you can keep the pretty little lights on it you want or be completely in the dark.  I did both after I made sure I was not going to freak out and run naked and screaming out of there :)  But evidently I click off the lights and brought the lid down almost all the way.  The water temp is kept at body temperature and that was a bit cold for me. The parts of me in the water were fine but not the exposed parts!  I kept turning over from back to front because of that.  It was relaxing but I could not shut off my mind.  When I think of things to do I jot them down and with an hour just to think I wanted to write down so much which now I've all forgotten LOL  The pod is huge so I had plenty of room to do stretching and found I could move so easily.  My mind kept wondering what time it was which drove me crazy.  You could play music or listen to some book or pod cast but one whole part of it is sensory depravation that is supposed to make you relax.  After I was so thirsty and despite taking a real shower after my skin was dry and ashy for a couple of days.  My hair was very dry too in fact I did an over night hair conditioning to try and get it back to normal. It was interesting and worth the price.  I did feel good afterwards and could tell it in my body for a few days but I'm not sure if I'll do it again.  

This is a picture of exactly what it looks like.  It's huge a 6 ft person would fit in it easily. Florida Float Spa www.FloridaFloatSpa.com it's very clean and professional

This is more my style of relaxing LOL  My BFF and I make a resolution that THIS year we are going to become more cultured.  Actually that is our yearly resolution for the past few years!  But we try!   Most times we end up at the Cracker Barrel so I'm not so sure how cultured we actually are....

Last week we went to Keel & Curley Farm and Winery in Plant City.  

 It is the cutest place and the food was great!!!  We sat outside and this was our view

I loved the corn field  Reminded me of home but I loved it because I didn't have to hoe or pick the corn!  

Jan was extremely excited about it

Our friend

Only in Florida do you see a goat on top of a dinosaur 

Then we went antique shopping in downtown Plant City just a few minutes drive away.  We saw many interesting things  This was the most interesting thing.  A table lamp with a naked John Lennon and Yoko Ono....  we both passed on it 

Well if it were not for respite care I would have never had this experience :)

So take a little time just for yourself this coming week - whether its just getting away to read a book (my most relaxing thing or going out to eat with a friend....remember we only have a short time on this earth and we do need to stop and smell the roses or look at crazy lamps at an antique shop!  

ALL ABOUT CHICKENS CATS & TABLES

I love chickens but it's a lot of work and money to do it right.  People ask me all the time about how much money I save.....NONE  According to my tally each egg is worth about $100 after being coops, food, water containers, nets, cement blocks for protection bedding....etc

But they are a fun hobby and we do like the eggs.  

It started with a chicken Dumpling literally jumping in my van at our church.  After a few Sundays I asked our sweet neighbor if I could have her.  Easy Peasy- free chicken....then I had to buy a coop.  Then after putting the coop together we could see it was worthless and I took it back.  She lived in a dog crate on the porch for a while.  Then the " CHICKEN MATH" BEGAN.  It's real folks!

A friend gave me an old coop and 4 OLD chickens.  In fact one died within days.  But it was on...... then someone gave me a crazy rooster.  I had to give him away because he chased everybody including one of Selah's nurses.  So at this point I have 4 chickens..... Let's see if I can even remember it right.....A animal rescue was giving away groups of chickens- one Rooster with 5 hens.  I took them in.  I didn't want the Roo but he is the best!  He is gorgeous and takes care of his girls.  When I put the food out he doesn't eat before he calls them all over to eat.  His group of girls are small I forgot the name of them- but they are crazy about brooding and hatching chicks

Then I bought some chicks to raise in the incubator- 4 Ironically as grown hens all four were killed by two different attacks.  Three by a dog and 1 by a racoon.  Both attacks taught me how to be safer with them.  

The Chicken Math continued..... I was contacted about this lady who is a hoarder.  She had a yard full of chickens and a houseful of cats.  Shad and I went over there and captured about 6 chickens - that was fun.  By the time we got there it was about dark and we were running through a yard filled with all kinds of things that a person could fall and die on.  Then our oldest son wanted 2 of the cats.....what can I say?  Cat math happens too.

By this time I had a new giant coop and better fencing for the run.

Then I started letting them hatch some chicks.  Then I went to Rural KIng the day before Easter and they had a $1 clearance on supposably sexed chicks (which means they were supposed to be hens) Well the devil is a liar....I got 6 or 7 Roos out of that batch!  Then another hen went broody and hatched me some babies...

Recently disaster struck and a coon got in under the netting and killed 4 of my favorites including my first hen Dumpling and my 13 year old silkie.  I was ready to quit.  But I tightened up security even more in the pen although I still let them free range some.

Now I am looking for a home for 6-7 white leghorns, a Red Americana and a Easter Egger (he was Dumplings baby!  He hatched from a green egg.  I would keep them all but I do not have enough hens and it is already becoming a problem.  I want them to go to a good home, where they can free range and not be caged up all the time.  They are FREE but I have to check out the person who takes them.  I've offered them in a FB group and I've gotten some odd responses.  When I ask to see where they will live most of the folks quit messaging me.  I don't want them to be used in Cock fighting or eaten. There's alot of illegal fighting going on in this area.   They aren't meat birds.  I'm no vegetarian yet feel very guilty as I walk past their coop knowing I just ate a cousin.  So if you are interested or know someone who is you can email me at theclanton5@aol.com  I probably will want to help transport them so I can see where they will live.  

This is a young rooster an Americana

Here are some of the leghorns nad the Easter Egger is on the far left in front

This little grey girl is a mystery.  She hatched out at Easter same time as the white leghorns were hatched (at the store( and she is so tiny!  She's homegrown but I'm even entertaining the idea that she is a wild bird of quail LOL  This picture does not do her justice because it looks like she is the size of the chicken behind her but she is not!  

Do you see the little girl one in the middle of all the white ones below?

the red is from  watermelon juice!  They all looked like toddlers at a picnic

Where the coops were originally corn grew.  They love that area

I'm not sure where this fellow came from.  I think he was part of the round up at the hoarder's house but he's a keeper too.  He refuses to go in the coop which is good because him and our Main Roo don't get along in the coop together.  They are fine outside.  

This is his girl.  She hatched the last two sets of chicks and now is so over them.  She refuses to leave her man at night so they sleep on top of our run.  Yes it makes me nervous but they are more strong willed than I am at this point in my life and I wish them a long and happy life.

this is our pumpkin!  Yes they did that 

this is an old wives tale that works.  See these VANILLA  car air freshers?  They keep flies away!  It's like magic!  They work for about 30 days.  We have them on all our outer doors so flies won't come in the house.  You can thank me for checking these out.  I've used them all summer and can testified they work!

they come when I call like a puppy dog

CAT NEWS

Early this summer I tried to help a feral stray who was so sick.  I got him to the vet but he had so many things wrong they put the poor old fella to sleep.  Unfortunately one of the things he had was mange.  Although he never came up close some of my cats got it!   They all stay on flea meds but the OTC kind I get at the feed store and it was not strong enough.  Two went to my favorite place PLANNED PETHOOD (a low cost animal clinic that is so kind and helpful to me)  The vet did all kinds of stuff to them several shots and put everyone on a very strong flea med that protects from them mites that cause mange.  Thankfully after only one week they are all cleared or clearing up .  I am so grateful.  In all my animal years that is something I'd never dealt with.   

Dobbie before mange  He is 18 pounds put this picture makes him look like a kitten

Sarge he also had it bad

Twin !

Mama Cat

Twin 2 who also fell off the roof....yep she hurt her leg and had to recover on the back patio AKA Yvonne's ICU

So 28 chickens not including the one stray chicken that comes in my yard most days to eat.  I've followed her at night and she roosts in a tree in the woods. 10 cats and one dog who has more allergies than anyone I know!   40 animals including Wild Girl....that's crazy!But I'm willing to part with 8-9 roos  I'm not sure if one leghorn is male or female LOL

I have to show off my $200 find on marketplace.  I am IN LOVE  with this old table.  It's the one I've wanted all my life.  We do need 4 more chairs if anyone has or sees them out there  If I can't find chairs I may have a bench built.  I told my family if a fire happens or we have to evacuate then they'll have to look out for themselves the table comes first LOL  And yes we are decorated for fall.  I have HIGH hopes for this fall/winter according to the Farmer's Almanac that my family trusted just like the Bible it is supposed to be unseasonably cold this winter.  I am trusting God for that!  This has been a hot summer but things have already cooled down/  Right now is my type of summer - it's hot but you can actually be ok in the shade. It's only in the 90's.  

I've never been a huge table cloth girl but I like this and am already looking for a Christmas one for this 8 foot table 

Well have a good day and I'm going to try to keep on blogging!

September Update

 Well.....another update.  I'm the worst blogger .  The weird thing is there's so much inside of me that I want to write about but life gets in my way.  I can assure you the blog posts I write in my head are the BEST I ever write- probably because they concern things I can't really post about!  I always threaten to write a book to be published after my death.  That would be worth the money to buy I promise!

Since the last post we survived Sarah's 2nd hospitalization, a hurricane  Shad's girlfriend leaving for college and a move (our oldest son and wife).  Whew! 

First to Sarah..... she got very ill quickly.  Going with my gut I called her doctor and asked for a script for her to have an x-ray here in town.  As soon as she got back we got a call for her to go to St Joes Children's hospital.  Basically her small intestines were not moving, there was a problem where the stomach empties into the small intestines.  She was in for 5 days on IVs just to give her intestines a chance to "rest"  The week of Sept 25 she will be at Arnold Palmer Children's Hospital to go through testing on the mobility of her intestines.  My poor baby!  There is a big problem because despite her malrotation surgery she has been in the hospital 3x in the past year for extended times despite us following every bit of medical advice.  She takes 2 caps  of Mirelax each morning - that dosage would keep most adults in the bathroom for hours.  And while it does give her very loose stools (believe me I have some poop stories)  there are times her small intestines just do not move things along.  Her large intestines are relatively good.  She may face more surgeries.  Please pray for our girl!

We survived Idalia with no problems-had all the family home You know that makes me happy!  My hometown of Perry Florida got hit so hard along with our beaches Keaten Steinhatchee and Horseshoe Beach.  My granny had a little house down at Horseshoe Beach and if I ever get skin cancer (God forbid) it'll be because of that place!   Great memories in all of those places!  Thankfully no one died and the communities are pulling together and helping each other.  Growing up we were always told that a hurricane would not hit our area in the "Big Bend" of Florida because the water was so shallow that it didn't "draw in" hurricanes.  Evidently that bit of knowledge was not true!  

Shad's sweet girlfriend left for college- we all miss her around here!  He got a chance to go see her this week so he's happy!  Steve and Nichole moved to our town to our old house.  We adore having them near us.  Selah is doing great!  Last week we managed to see her 3x-that's always my weekly goal or even more if I can.  We are so thankful for the unique group home she is in.  Sam is doing good.....

The older I get the more I understand how incredibly important my family is!  I love having adult children-when the boys were young I literally mourned ahead of time about them leaving home.  LOL But it is such fun to have adult sons who bring you home daughter(s) in love.  (I'm hoping to have another one before too long)  Almost every stage of motherhood has been wonderful except a little bit of the teenage years I could have done without LOL I'm blessed!

Selah in one of her birthday outfits.  I totally redid her closet for her 19th birthday.  We are into T-shirt dresses around here

Jon and Sam relaxing after supper a few nights ago:)  Like father like son!  They were both snoring.

Hope you are having a great month! 

Summer 2023

 

Summer 2023 is almost over....

in the last few months we have been busy.  We went on a Dolphin Cruise out of Tarpon Springs

Sam loves a boat

July 4th was fun at home 

Jon and I went to the Department of Corrections yearly conference in Orlando which was a lot of fun!  Jon is the longest running chaplain in the state at almost 27 years as a chaplain.  He spoke at the chaplain's conference.

Sweetness

my sweet girl we went to an event at Hillsborough State park

Hope y'all are all doing great! 

Church Hurt

 Y'all know I'm a "church girl" the type that "cut her teeth on a church pew" Some of my first memories were of church.  In some ways my upbringing was very strict but in other ways very lenient.  My great aunt had 2 rules for me as a teenager.  

!.  Don't come home pregnant

2. Don't wake us up when you come in

The 1980's at its' best.  My boys would have LOVED those rules!  Of course church attendance was mandatory but that was something that I didn't really mind.  For me there is an attraction to church buildings, walking in a sanctuary feels like home to me.  Going to church was something I looked forward to doing.  It wasn't because I was so extra spiritual but it was home, a place that brought rest to my soul even when I didn't understand or wasn't able to explain.  

Having been in church all these 50 plus years has given me quite the opportunity to have "CHURCH HURT"  That's a term that has been around for awhile now and is gathering steam with release of  "Shiny Happy People" and "The Secrets of Hillsong" We watched both of them (fighting sleep as always- no sex scandal can keep us awake by the time we get the kids to bed at night LOL) 

The shows had similarities and differences.  From dumpy fundamentalists  to cool mega church  folks with skinny jeans....Two extremes of the  evangelical movement. (I finally understand how the Muslims can have the two branches of Islam that wants to kill each other!) I'm not really in either camp- probably theologically I'm closer to Hillsong but in behavior closer to the fundamentalists!  For most of my growing up years the only pants that were allowed were Culottes.  Ever now and then the crazy fashion folks still try to bring back Culottes and I curse them!  I do wear skinny jeans and love them!  But in reality my life is far from either group.  

But both shows had similarities of people being hurt in the name of God- sexually, financially, spiritually, deceit, control, reputation etc.... Why do we get more angry at situations that happen in churches or church ran programs?  Because we expect more of people who say they are serving God, especially leaders.  We know people do all kinds of things to others but we think of church as a sanctuary from all of that awful stuff,  But unfortunately some church folks even leaders  can hurt others.  The bible warns about that in the Old Testament Ezekiel 34  and in  the New Testament Matthew 7.  Some folks start out good but allow sin to creep in and some folks literally decide to falsely serve God in order to take advantage of vulnerable people. 

Watching the shows there seems to be some things that were hyped up and exaggerated- people will also jump on a band wagon just as fast as they can.  The devil can use a sinful leader to tear down Christianity but he can also use a person who lies or exaggerates situations to get attention.  BUT no one should have given anyone any ammunition to use against Christianity.  The bible says in 1 Peter 4:14-19

14 If ye be reproached for the name of Christ, happy are ye; for the spirit of glory and of God resteth upon you: on their part he is evil spoken of, but on your part he is glorified.15 But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a thief, or as an evildoer, or as a busybody in other men's matters.16 Yet if any man suffer as a Christian, let him not be ashamed; but let him glorify God on this behalf.17 For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God: and if it first begin at us, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God?18 And if the righteous scarcely be saved, where shall the ungodly and the sinner appear?19 Wherefore let them that suffer according to the will of God commit the keeping of their souls to him in well doing, as unto a faithful Creator.

The bible literally says no christian (this was being written to Christians) should suffer as a murderer thief evildoer or a busybody.....This scripture also says that that judgement must begin at the house of the God _ but non believers are not free but if it begins in the house of God then what shall the end be for non believers????

My point is look to Jesus.  There are plenty of people out there who have agendas and rules whether they look cool and hip or out of step and dowdy who can hurt you! 

How do you know who to trust?  Well no one is absolutely perfect.  Not even ME LOL 

But first read the bible- no one church has everything perfectly correct. Why do I know that?  Because we are human.  Look for leaders who serve- and I do NOT mean this silly false "servant leadership" that's another new litttle term going 'round.  Most people that talk that ONLY serve when it benefits them or their church.  Will they get their hands dirty without a photo op?  Do they do things without anything in return?  

Is the person/leader miserable? I will be honest, I know folks who boast of their prayer life or bible study and they are the most disagreeable miserable people and makes everyone around them miserable.  

Trust your gut and God given discernment.  

But at the same time, do not be critical BALANCE - BALANCE - BALANCE 

So over the years I've been hurt mostly by other leaders a few times by people in the pews .  God has also given me discernment about situations that have kept us out of problems or gotten us out of problems.  One time when we were young we worked in a ministry that grow out of something we had been doing for awhile.   The leader we worked had a good reputation but we knew something was off. We got ourselves out of that ministry situation. A few months later it comes out the guy was stealing money using drugs having affairs.... we just thought he was a jerk but we knew things were off not knowing how off they really were!  What's so funny is the guy actually spiritually attacked me for the depression I was battling after losing my twins and almost dying just a few months before.  But see people don't bother me too much.  I told him and I quote...'when you lose two of your children you can tell me how to feel but until then shut the hell up....."   Yeah we were all in a car going to a church service, that was a pretty quiet ride....LOL  

There is a time and place for correction and reproof -no one is above that- again it is about balance.  Looking back I'm pretty sure he wanted to keep me off balance so I didn't pick up on things because I was starting to question some things.  In all honesty there is a time to grieve but your identity  can not be completely tied up to a grief/sorrow/loss. We all know folks who have had something terrible happen to them and that has become their identity.  That's not healthy.  

There is sin everywhere- does that make it right? NO! Will there always be sin? YES!  Years ago right out of college I worked for a juvenile justice program for first time offenders.  It was back in the day when we had "Scared Straight" now that has been determined to be too scary for our little delinquents.  Anyhow once every few weeks we would take them for a county jail tour and monthly we'd take some juvies for a state prison tour.  It was like a field trip,  The inmates loved it too.  They'd cut up and yell at the kids.  The officers would lecture the kids.  It was funny to me.  (I'm not the most sympathetic  person)  One time I had this little chubby kid who had shoplifted.  The inmates were yelling the officers were lecturing  and this kids said "That won't happen to me I'm a Christian" Bless his heart he got it even more then!  Hopefully he learned his lesson and laughs about it now.

Do Christians sin? Yes and a if a person says they are without sin....RUN!  But do they ask for forgiveness?  Christianity is being scrutinized like never before -I follow some sites out of curiosity.  This one site gets rabid about any minister who has fallen into any type of sexual sin (I'm not taking about sexual abuse -those ministers or anyone should go to prison-they are up in arms about ministers that have affairs)    People foam at the mouth at how the minister should never be allowed to pastor again.  I had to go back to the story of David who sinned but he was still called a man after God's own heart AFTER he repented!  And repenting does mean more than just mumbling "forgive me God" it means turning away from the sin and changing.  

So what am I saying? Look to Jesus!  Man will  disappoint you.  Don't get caught up in the newest hype whether it is cool or seems to be extra spiritual.  If someone preaches a gospel that adds  a bunch of rules to be a good Christiaan- RUN......  Although in all fairness humans are just that human.  We crave boundaries to ensure we are doing things right and in the spiritual sense to ensure we are "good christians"  It's so much easier to follow rules than to follow Jesus.  That's why people turn to cults.  It's easier to think if I do ABC and do not do XYZ I'm a good christian.  But if someone doesn't teach the Bible and just gives you a feel good sermon telling you all the things you want to hear....RUN  A wise professor once said "all extremes are dysfunctional" 

So what do you do if you get hurt in the church?  Somethings are obviously very different than others.  It's one thing if someone criticizes the clothes you wear- it's another if they abuse your child. No matter the action realize that action is not from God!  But people must be held accountable especially if a crime has been committed.  Some things you can shrug off and just consider the source "bless their hearts"  Other thing need to be brought to the attention of the church authorities and if necessary (if it is an illegal act) the police.  

And folks you can NOT just live in a continual offended state.  In the church world there are folks who literally go from church to church and get offended everywhere...Sometimes when I meet someone for the first time they will tell me how the last church they were in hurt their feelings.....without fail it won't be long till their feelings get hurt at our church.  We've known folks over the years that had to be soothed every time you turned around.  Don't be that person.  

Again it's Jesus....that just overwhelmed my mind recently.  there is no one person, no one denomination that gets everything right but there is one who is right and it's Jesus.   That thought brought a comfort to my heart.  

Don't let evil win or overwhelm you.  Keep doing what is right.  Look to Jesus not man. 

40 years ago

 What were you doing 40 years ago?  I was graduating from high school!  40 years seems so old!  It's hard to believe I am even 40 years old much less out of high school for so long.  

Being brought up in all the secrets & oddities  of my life made school at times a challenge.  I was in gifted/high classes but so incredibly bored I did the least possible.  Luckily for me I didn't need to study much to make passing grades because I didn't study at all!  In high school "back in the day" it was very easy to skip school and I did it on a regular basis. In all of that I only got caught one time!  In my heart I had goals but no idea of how to make them come true.  There was no one in my life that "had my back" my family basically ignored me because there was a lot of medical things going on.  My great  uncle had passed away, my great aunt had Alzheimer's and my other great aunt had some mental health issues (looking back) .  Several of my friends had parents who loved me and wanted the best for me but I was not their focus.  There were some sweet folks who cared for me in my church but again there was only so much they could do for me.  

None of my teachers (except one who might have been a little inappropriate in this day and age LOL)  paid me much attention and I didn't try to get close to them.  I never liked "brown nosers" Living in a small southern town, somebody like me who didn't have many personal connections wasn't one that teachers paid alot of attention to.  No one was mean don't get me wrong but I wasn't "pushed forward" or encouraged much.  In fact as a senior I had a mandatory meeting with a guidance counselor and told her I wanted to go to college.  She totally discouraged me and told me all the reasons it wouldn't work out for me.  

Looking back I realize how incredible that I am where I am now.  But God.....

On my graduation night no one came to see me graduate.  Of course my friends' parents were there but I didn't have any one person who came to see just me graduate. I went home with my friend because her family were giving us a graduation party.   And then some of my plans went awry for that night (thank God LOL that's a story I'm not ready to share)

How did things change for me?  God God and God!  After graduation I started a secretarial class....yeah...that was NOT for me!  One day I got a mailing from Southeastern University  I had no idea where it was located but in my heart God spoke to me that I'd go to college there.  Again there was NO support!  In fact I was told over & over how I would not be able to go to college.  Mostly because I didn't have the money.  My family told me not to be silly and to "go get a job at the K-mart"  They also didn't like SEU because it was another denomination's college.  But God helped me.  That situation taught me and was a turning point in my life.  Having to support myself  and do it all on my own (not one penny from anyone) taught me to be independant and realize all I need is God.  It's a lonely place.  Thankfully there were some folks here and there that helped me.  A lady from our church and her daughter dropped me off at college which was one of the most important things anyone has ever done for me.  It was a 4 hour drive and I barely had enough to get started at college- it would have been more stressful if I had had to ride a bus!  

After I was dropped off, the whole situation overwhelmed me but I was there and I wasn't giving up no matter what.   Looking back at that little girl, I'm impressed & sad for her.  For years I lived with my heart in my throat wondering how I was going to make it but somehow I always did! There were times I did some stupid things but overall I kept my eyes on God and my goals.  

June 3 1983

See those heels???  My favorite shoes and the reason I just had foot surgery LOL

Dang no wrinkles.....

So if you ever get a chance to help someone out who is trying to do something with their life- help them!  You may be the person that makes the biggest contribution to their life at a pivot moment.  There were those folks who were there for me like that- sometimes it can just be a word of encouragement- doing something practical- being kind.....

Because of how alone I was -I was determined my kids would never experience that feeling as they grew up! Once I was past elementary school no one ever came to anything I was involved in.  There was no one in the audience for me.  And honestly there were times someone could have come...it just wasn't important enough for them to do it.  Of course life can be hard but sometimes a person has to push through and do what needs to be done. Things mean alot to kids.  Just remember that!

So we will be having our 40th year class reunion in the fall during the Pine Tree Festival.  The Festival is my hometown's big yearly celebration of the Pine Tree!  We are the Pine Tree Capital of the South:)  None of my family have ever gone to the festival- it has always fallen on our oldest son's birthday and/or our college's university's homecoming even I haven't gone since my freshman year in college so it's been a few minutes.  My husband is coming and our big kids are "thinking" about coming...we will see.  It's going to be fun.  

Remember to be an encourager and a practical person in other's lives!