Supreme Court Decisions

Sitting here thinking about the world we live in....the country we live in....we are so very far from living as God has told us quite clearly in His word to live.  Today the Supreme Court handed down two decisions.

The first was to rule that the federal same sex ban called DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act) , signed by President Bill Clinton in 1996 as unconstitutional.  It prevented same-sex couples whose marriages were recognized by their home state from receiving benefits available to other married couples under federal law.


 The second  was to was to say that Proposition 8 on California ballots in 2008 was unconstitutional.  Prop 8 was a same sex marriage ban.  It was voted on by the California voters and was passed.  That meant the majority of voters wanted a BAN on same sex marriages, they did not want that for their state.  Now the Supreme Court is going against the will of the people.  That is serious!  The judges who voted to strike it down said that the activists who put it on the ballot originally did not have constitutional authority, or standing to do so.  California voters added the ban to the state's constitution in 2008 through a ballot initiative that reversed the state Supreme Court's recognition of same-sex marriage earlier that year. So basically California voters did NOT like or agree with their state Supreme Court's decision and took matters into their own hands....We do live in a democratic society and I  (along with 4 other Supreme Court judges)  believe in the right of the people! 


If anyone knows me or my husband personally, you will know we love everyone.  I have no hatred against homosexuals.  In fact, I have some I consider as dear friends....HOWEVER that does not mean I condone their behavior or agree with it. 

The bible calls it sin, society has called it sin for all of recorded history in all societies world wide. 

This may not be a popular stand but I feel compelled to write about this today.  As a Christian, I can not close my eyes and not address things.  As much as I address the church's role in orphan care, this is troubling!

Because both the Old Testament and the New Testament tell us that homosexual behavior is sin, I believe it is sin.  That is the bottom line.  I believe all of the Bible, I don't pick out the parts that meet my need and discard the parts I don't like.  Nope, I take the whole Bible and do my best to live by it.  If you want scripture and verse....then here goes...Leviticus 20:13, Genesis 19:4-9, Romans 1: 24-27, and 1 Corinthians 6: 9-11.  There are certainly more verses, but that's just a few.

Hey to be fair, I think ANY sex outside of marriage is SIN!  For my friends who are living together with their boy/girl friends or sleeping around....I think that is just as wrong according to the Bible.  And YES there are MANY other kinds of sin besides sexually sin too.....but since the government wants to get involved in this debate, that is what I'm blogging about right now.  And NO I do not think I'm better than anyone else, we are all sinners BUT even tho I am not perfect, I try and govern my life in all areas as the Bible instructs and just because I may miss it in one area, I realize it is ME who is in the wrong, not the Bible! 

So I'm not happy with the direction America is choosing to go in.  Other nations have gone that way and it does not look good.  America is different than other nations, we were founded by Christians who would turn over in their graves if they knew what America is like today.  Other nations do not have the heritage of being founded primarily as a Christian nation.  Not that America is the best nation or the only one with God's blessing...not at all.  In fact, I get concerned with some Christians who, in my opinion (IMO) elevate America to be "God's nation"  I don't like American flags inside churches ....that is for another post.....

I think the in the day's ahead, our freedom to express ourselves, to say what we believe is sin or wrong will be gone.  Certainly in other countries ministers are fined for reading some of the scriptures I put on my blog today......

There are dark days ahead for the Church in America but in darkness, the light shows even brighter!

Title-less Tuesday.....

Title-less Tuesday.....I couldn't come up with a title....LOL


Back to the Senior Citizen's Yoga class this morning.  It's really good and all I can handle right now.  I'm very proud to say I think I am top of the class, for my leg movement.  That is the one place I'm not sore:)  I've got to get back to walking too, that always helps me but my walking buddy lives too far away to walk with me during the summer months. 

Got to meet my friend for a quick lunch at a new Mexican restaurant, or at least new to us.  That was great and I got a ton of errands done today. 

 

 

 

This morning, Selah was doing a lot of movement of her right arm/hand.  It seemed purposeful and she was not moving her left arm while she was moving the right.  Sometimes it is just hard to tell.  She has remained loose, none of the stiffness we saw for a few days.  WHEW!

 

 

Sarah is learning to drink from a cup!  YEA!  since she has been home, I've had to spoon feed her all her drinks.  I don't mind but boy is it easier to get her to drink from a cup!  Her therapist made her a cup so I could see how much liquid she is getting.  That way I don't splash her, or tip the cup so that it would scare her. 

 

 

 

 

Yum Lemonade

 

good girl

 

MORE:)

 

Sarah also got a hair cut today!

 

 

Sarah is the most loving sweet girl ever....we just do not understand how a child could be so neglected and have such a sweet spirit without it affecting her.  Maybe there is some sweet lady that gave her love at the baby house....   

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Thanks for continuing to pray for Teresa.   OurPlaceCalledHome.blogspot.com is their blog.  She is stable and resting today.  Please keep praying!!!!!!

 

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Tonight I am reaching out to you to ask of you some help.  A few dear ladies and myself have been working with the Burman family who are in process to adopt three beautiful children from Ukraine.  This family is so grateful for the amazing kindness shown to their children through the generous donations to their grant fund.  Shelly mentioned how much it means to her to know that people whom the family does not even know will have played a monumental role in helping the children soon know the love of a family.  What the ladies and I would like to do is draw up some thank you notes to each and everyone of the people who donated to the children and then surprise the family with the letters written so they can thank you all.  If you personally donated to the children people have come to know as Nolan, Paige, and Lauren on Reece's Rainbow website or in the case of Paige she is also known as Patricia on Grace Haven's website, would you please contact me with your address so we can get the envelopes addressed for the family?  You do not have to state the amount as no amount is greater than any other but you can if you so feel led.  Thank you for helping us bless this family who has so amazingly taken the call God has given them.  If you gave directly through Grace Church, I have your addresses so don't worry about it.  But if you gave through Reece's Rainbow or Grace Haven directly, please let me know at theclanton5@aol.com  .  thanks.....   I know we did not get a listing of givers until we were home and I never sent out thank you cards (and feel extremely guilty still......) 

 

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Please keep praying for Selah.....  We are still thinking/praying about a handicapped accessible van for Selah.   Nothing has worked out yet, I'm hoping it is because she will be healed and we won't need it to be honest.  Still looking into treatments for her also....  haven't found anything yet in America that is a real medical study. 

 

 

 

 





Monday Madness...

Naw everything is ok around here, I just needed a title....LOL

Please keep praying for Teresa...she had the surgery, still on the ECMO machine, some internal bleeding going on....please pray for a miracle.

Also a dear lady in our church Irene, is having a stent put in this week.  She is sweet, loves God and everyone else....sings.... and is so positive.  Please pray that things go smooth and she recovers quickly! 

Started my daily yoga class at the Y.  It happens to be for Senior Citizens.  When I walked in, everyone was sitting on a chair and I though "oh my gosh I am wasting my time."  Well....I didn't quite feel like that 30 minutes later LOL!  Being so stiff, it was hard to even do the poses they did.  The appointment for the Urologist got moved up to today.  he looked at all the testing that has been done, and has no answers for me.  He thinks everything is ok (as far as nothing life threatening)  and did say the muscles in my back/side were in spasms so bad, he could actually feel them.   I really don't know where to go at this point.  I hurt all the time, and have for the last four years.  It has gotten worse in the past year.  It's crazy but I'm glad I don't have to worry about life threatening stuff but I wish I had an answer.  He thinks yoga, massage and heat will help....it hasn't yet....

Selah is doing well, the stiffness in her that we sensed over the weekend is gone.  She did great in therapy today.  Sarah did too, they got therapy while I had my yoga class. 

We had a really good weekend.  Church was great, a few more people....:)  We love visitors.   After church the guys went kayaking and the girls went out to eat and do some things:)  It was a good day, filled with family and old friends.  I'm loving how the kids like the kayaks!  Steve and Shad (and dad too) want to go every chance they get.  What a nice way for them to be together and get exercise. 

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I don't have many deep thoughts tonight.  I don't even know what I'm feeling, it's not warm or fuzzy that's for sure.  Just sad, tired, can't believe I woke up this morning and nothing has changed yet for Selah.  Trying to remember to hold on to the goodness of God, not be bitter when others get an answer to prayer, trying to TRUST through the darkness.  By doing those things, holding on, not being bitter, trusting.....I'm not doing them because I think I can earn a miracle for Selah.  NO!  I'm doing those so I do not shipwreck my life. 

In my life, there are friends who have problems.  99% of these problems are things they can change, sometimes the change would hurt and be hard but things could change....   Some of them have health problems that diet and exercise could change, some could change a job or get a second one for more money.  Some could get out of bad relationships, some could mend some fences..... We are faced with something we can not change.  The ONLY thing we can do is let our hearts change and stay committed to God.   I'm a fixer, I like to fix things....there is nothing I can fix here.....

ALL I can do is hold tight to God's hand.  That's it....just typing this does bring a peace....  Where can I go but to the Lord?  There is no where else to go....  That's where I am right now, again, as I have been many times in the past, TEN months.....holding, watching my heart, keeping my eyes focused on eternity.....

Please pray......

Frieneds & Zombie Movies

Yesterday was a very unique day.  During the course of our adoption I've become FB friends with people I didn't know "in real life IRL"  Well yesterday a bunch of us got together......  between us we've rescued, 8 kids from orphanages and have 4 pending adoptions....  We've all walked through "fire" in one way or another by doing that.  Some of you may remember the post about Henry who passed away last fall, I got to meet his mom....  All of us have faced trials related to our adoptions, but you know what?  We are all still serving and loving Jesus and loving His little Ones.  That is the one thing (besides all the laughter) I left with....  We have started on a journey and there is NO turning back! 

 

Yvonne, Carla, Linny and Jenny

(ps. this was taken away we went swimming!)

 

 

Then I drove through some of the prettiest areas of Florida that I'd never seen before to get home to take my oldest son Steve to see World War Z.....oh dear Lord....let's just say that is not my type of movie.  First of all I can't stand Brad Pitts....  But the suspense of the movie....I should have had my "happy pills" with me LOL  As soon as the movie finished I rushed out of the theater, it seemed like a bunch of zombies were after me.  Then in in the parking lot, I was ultra vigilant looking around for Zombies.  Then having to get out of my car at home was torture LOL!!  We were laughing so hard.... So I guess it was  a good movie if it affected me so much!  BTW, all I dreamed about last night was ZOMBIES!!!!  At one point Jon and I had the kids in the hospital and they were all safe but we had to leave to go get something..  EEK!  LOL  (BTW, it was a very clean movie, nothing sexually, unbelievably little language and no gruesome violence--  We look up movies on Plugged In before we let our kids see things and Plugged In actually counts how many times profanity is used.  I think it was about 9 or 10 times but I didn't hear anything.  I told Steve after the movie, maybe the Plugged In people were counting what the AUDIENCE said LOL  We had one woman behind us screaming, she was too funny!  I was terrified but kept quiet!) 

 

In all my crazy zombie dreams, I did dream I saw my old boss from college.  He was the librarian at the college we went to, a true "absent mind professor type"  I adored him, he gave me away when Jon & I got married.  In my dream he was walking around NOT a zombie.  But I asked him "Bro Crammar, what is heaven like??"  he has been passed away for years.    He said "it's lovely, just lovely but I can't tell you everything"  That was just interesting.  He still was an absent minded professor:) 

 

I was just thankful I had to get up with Selah some, it broke up the dreams!!!   Or maybe that is why I remembered them more because I kept waking up????

 

On Friday night, I dreamed that Selah was walking outside....now that was a good dream!

 

 

So we have had a busy fun weekend. 

 

Selah is doing good, we've kept her busy with her stander and going outside some.  For some reason, the last few days, she has been stiffer, I'm curious to see how she does on Monday for PT.  It seems her stiffness comes and goes, in a random way.  She certainly isn't sick..... Hopefully it's just nothing!

 

Sam & Sarah are doing great.  Sam seemed mad I wasn't there last night to rub his back!  I usually hold him and give him a back massage with lotion before he goes to bed and Sam is a creature of habit.  He did NOT appreciate me being gone with big brother! 

 

Shad. of course, wanted to go see that movie with us.  I am so glad we said NO!  He would have moved into our beds on a permanent basis if he had gone!!! 

 

It such a balance in life, we always want to honor God with what we let our kids do and what we do but we also want that balance where we don't get legalistic either.   I was raised legalistically and it was not good.  You might think watching Zombies wasn't very spiritual (I don't know about that....I think it made ME pray LOL)  But in one way it was spiritual.  I was making a memory with my son, something we will laugh about for years.  It was probably a memory that I should have let his daddy make with him LOL but it was fun.   We try and honor God in our movie and tv choices.  Every Christian family may have a little different standard.  but you should have a standard.  We stay away from anything with nudity or sexual themes, strong languages and we also stay away from movies that have adult themes.  We are not going to pay money to sit and laugh about things that God tells us to avoid.  We don't watch any current comedy tv shows as they can't be funny without being nasty.  I used to watch "The Office" when it first came out.  Back then it was racy enough.....I watched one recent episode the other day and had to turn it off, it was perverted in what the characters were doing/saying.  So perverted, I could not believe it was on a regular cable channel!    In this day and age, it is easy to nod at sin and be accepting.  I don't want to be like that!!!  For our family, we tend to let the boys watch movies that have the good vs. evil themes, as long as the movie doesn't have much profanity,  nor any sexual or adult themes.  It is rare we find a movie that we let them watch unless it is a cartoon and even then there have been ones we have not gone to see!  A recent movie that they wanted to go see, scored way too high off our scale and the boys accepted that.  It's a shame that movies are made and extra junk thrown in. 

 

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OurPlaceCalledHome.blogspot.com              

 

Keep praying for Teresa....she is stable, her kidneys' have better levels but she has a long way to go!  She is resting today, getting ready for the big surgery on Monday.  Please cover this family and child with prayer!!!

 

Please keep praying for Selah.  Taking care of her last night was precious, I'm always glad to make her comfy but it just reminds me how far away she is.....sometimes it takes my breath away when I've been gone a few hours, I'm still shocked.  Being gone all day is unusual for me, but being back with her, it hurts.  She shouldn't be like this!  I think when I'm gone, I expect her to be back to normal when I see her again.  THIS is not normal to me.   Please pray that God will have mercy on Selah and heal her. 

 

 

Hold your family close

 

I have to start with these cute pictures from last night.   Wednesday night I took pictures of Jon holding Sarah and Sam coming up and wanting up.  Well last night Jon was holding Sam and you can see who came up to get some Daddy time:)

 

 

There is often a little jealousy in our home:)

 

 

Today has been a "Family Fun Friday"  Jon is off on Fridays so he took the boys to the Y early this morning, came home and they worked on the church lawn with a guy from our church.  I cooked a big Southern lunch, everything made from scratch and then I took the boys to see Monster University while the littles napped/rested.  Selah is doing good and I'm feeling better,  Having gone through so much over the past year, days like today are such a blessing.  I do not take them for granted!

 

We got a letter today from our insurance carrier Blue Cross, saying that they have denied our appeal for Selah to have home health nursing.  We have several more steps to go in the appeal process and I am confident that she will be reinstated for nursing.  In the meanwhile she does have nursing care through Medicaid.  However, we pay our premiums and have for years and years.  Home Health nursing is part of the package deal and we will get it paid for through our insurance.  They approved her for nursing and unfortunately she is no better than when she came home from the hospital.  It's such a pain to have to take the time to do all the paperwork but I've been told by several families this often happens right around the 6 month mark home.  Some families don't fight or some go through Medicaid.  Well we will fight.....   We do not want her as a Medicaid patient as Medicaid does not pay as much to the agency/nursing staff and we want the best nursing for her.  Right now we have experienced and very able nurses, that's how we want to keep it! 

 

To be honest I was NOT very nice when I talked to the Blue Cross agent on the phone....then I had to fax something in.  The fax didn't go through so she called me back and said all she got was a letterhead from Grace Church.....She was probably wondering about that LOL.  I actually apologized for losing my temper with her.  I was a bit ashamed but I did tell her, nothing gets me upset EXCEPT for someone messing with my family!!!   She said she understood and she was a mom.....she seemed apologetic BUT she is the one who signed her name to the denial.....I told her she had to take responsibility....I'd never work somewhere and sign my name to something I disagreed with. 

 

So we will work the appeal process, if that does not work, we will go to the media....this is CRAZY!    I tend to have to fight for my kids, but I usually get what I think they need.  The bad thing is that not all families get what they need for their kids because they don't fight or know how to....it shouldn't be like that!  I do get tired of the fight but I don't stop if I think my kids need something.  It's terrible how so much of your energy as a special needs mom is tied up in fighting for your kids!

Thankfully I've never really had to fight for anything for Steve or Shad, with them things are very different.  I've never even had to get involved in anything at their school, or even meet with the principal or teachers about any real need or problem.  Over the years, if there were issues, I'd just tell them to either obey their teacher or work out their problems with their friends/bullies or whatever.   They really have never had much of a problem over the years...except one time, Steve was in high school and there was another high schooler who was just a total bully and jerk.  Steve is so even keeled always but one day, the boy just got on Steve's last nerve and Steve decked him!  I go to pick them up after school and he tells me about it.  OMGosh....I thought he would be in so much trouble...I ran inside and went to the principal, scared that Steve would be kicked out of the school.  The principal was like "yeah-that boy had it coming, Steve sat him straight"  I waited till I got in the car to laugh....YIKES!  The boy ended up getting kicked out and everyone was glad.  Over the years, that story has grown to mammoth proportions at Steve's school and he has never had an issue with another bully.  LOL   

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If you are following Teresa's story, she is doing ok, for the situation she is in.  She still needs much prayer as she will be on the ECHO until Monday and then another major surgery to see if they can fix the veins to the heart/lungs.  Her kidneys are not doing good. 

 

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fourplacecalledhome.blogspot.com%2F&h=yAQHX0Uoc 

 

that is their blog link

 

and here is a story about her

 

http://foxbaltimore.com/news/features/top-stories/stories/teresa-bartlinski-struggles-new-heart-after-transplant-20596.shtml#.UcTDdIbiFdQ

 

Just looking at the photo of her and her mom right before surgery tears at my heart.  I know how hard it has been to give Sam over for EYE surgery much less heart surgery!!! 

 

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You never know what a day will hold, LOVE your family....you can't get back one day.  As we go through the summer, my mind goes back DAILY to last summer and how happy and whole our family was.  I feel like we are speeding towards the one year anniversary of the accident and it breaks my heart.  On our way up to NY we stopped first at "Mayberry"  NC  Andy Griffin's home town.  I relive that day over and over....   Then a friend on FB mentioned they were in Berkley WV and I remember stopping there for the night and  eating at a Outback....the manager saw our family and gifted us the meal and gave us some gift cards.  He had a brother with a disability.   Then the next morning we stopped at the Dam overlook and walked the trail.  I had no idea what was ahead for us in just a couple of days.   As we drove into Rochester NY, coming off the toll road, making the circle onto the interstate we saw this HUGE rainbow.... as we were driving up to the RMH we crossed the Erie Canal and someone started singing the Veggie Tale song "Erie Canal" that is now outlawed in my house.  We were so happy, racing towards the worst thing that has ever happened to us.  Looking back, I am shocked I didn't feel a sense of dread....  but no there was nothing in those last few days to warn me of what lay ahead. 

 

Over the summer, several friends of friends had some accidents and I did get afraid something would happen to one of my kids.  I actually talked Steve out of going out of town with a youth group because I did have a weird worried feeling but I didn't' have it on the trip.  In fact, it was all happiness and laughter.  We had a great trip up. 

 

I've never told but a few people this but on the day of the accident, as I was waiting for Jon, I was reading the newspaper.  There was a funeral notice for a cute little boy who had drown just the weekend before.  I prayed for his family sitting in the kitchen of the Ronald McDonald House.  Little did I know MY family was already in the water (looking back and comparing the time)  I literally got up from the table and started talking to the staff about WHY all the ambulances were down the street......unreal....

 

 

So much I do not understand....all I can do is pray for Selah.  Pray that God delivers us from this nightmare!  And it is a nightmare....some mornings I wake up and it still hits me like a punch to my stomach....all the memories come rushing back.   Just going to the movies today, reminded me of taking the kids last summer and how Selah watched Madagascar 3 and ate popcorn.  There was a Russian speaking lion in it and we all loved him.  He kept saying "Nyet" and we'd cheer:)  Oh if we could only go back to last summer.....

 

So today was a happy day, yet waves of sadness still wash over me....

Please pray for Selah and Teresa. 

 

Hold your family close...

 

 

 

Thank You!

 

 

 

Just to follow up with everyone....today I finally mailed off the money for the Orphan fund for last month!  The grand total was $1010 to help the Burmans bring their three kids home!  Thank you all every penny came from readers on my blog!!!!  Including my sweet reader from PA that sent in what we needed to put it over the $1000 mark!!!!!!!    Grace Haven also has a matching grant for them going on right now so if you give just a dollar, it will be matched!!!    BTW, I ran into the post office in a Florida thunderstorm that knocked out their computer system.  I then had to run back to the van to find enough change to buy a stamp since I couldn't buy a book!  But I got choked up when I put it in the mail to think of all of us who have come together to help them!

 

http://gracehavenhome.com/  is the link to give!

 

 

 

So far this month, I was focusing on Selah's sister for fund raising.  The family is close to travel, and not sure yet on the finances....  If the money is not needed, I know other children/families who can be helped by anything that comes in this month. 

 

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Last night was really special as the little ones were just really wanting to cuddle.  Sarah has started lying her head on our chests when we hold her, it is precious.  It is so wonderful to see her trusting us.  When you think of all the neglect she has endured, coupled with her mental delays and blindness, it amazes me how she can love.  Everyone that has ever met Sarah is blown away by her sweet spirit and smile. 

 

 

 

 

he is telling Sarah how much we love her:)  she thought it was funny

 

 

 

 

Sam got jealous!

 

then came Shad LOL

 

 

then mommy wanted to hold them ....

 

 

In spite of all we have gone through, I feel blessed. 

 

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We joined the YMCA again today.  So many "normal" parts of our lives changed last summer.  Our membership ran out and we didn't renew it until now.  So I think this is a good thing that we feel like we will be able to go back to the Y on a regular basis.  I'm looking forward to going to the Yoga classes.  In the past, I've enjoyed them and really felt like the classes helped my stiffness.  This time I'm starting in the senior citizen's class, they will probably kick my butt:)  Steve did the youth triathlon class and some triathlons so we want him to get back to that too!  It will be a good thing to get back to doing more exercise.

 

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Please keep praying for Teresa

 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/prayforteresab/?fref=ts

 

things are going better but she has a long way to go.  In the adoption community, we have lost several children lately.  We don't want to lose another child.  It's hard when families adopt children with life threatening illness or disorders....they go into a battle willingly but they LOVE their kids so much, they are willing to risk great heart ache to give the child the CHANCE to survive long term!   So please pray for Teresa and her sweet family!

 

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My friend's husband came through open heart surgery well!  Please keep praying for George that he will recover complexly and quickly!!!

 

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Thank you so much for everything you all do.  You guys are such a blessing in so many ways!!!!  Thanks for giving, thanks for praying...thank you for encouraging..

 

 

 

 

 

Lots of prayer requests!

Just to let you know, Teresa is a tiny bit better, she was allowed to wake up for a short time today and she was responsive, thank God!  All signs seem to indicate that there was no brain damage from the episode yesterday when they had to perform CPR for 30 minutes.  She still is very very serious and needs prayers! 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/prayforteresab/?fref=ts

Also a childhood friend of mine's husband is having open heart surgery tomorrow morning.  I was able to visit with the family today and felt their strength in God and love for each other.  Please pray for George that God will guide the surgeon's hands and that there will be no complications at all.  He was in this area for a minister's conference when this happened so they are far from home.  Thankfully they have family that were also here and lots of friends.  They pastor a church in north Florida.  But this is scary and he needs a touch from God! 

Well....I had a little scare yesterday....  I've had some pain in my right side for 4 years.  It has never gone away but some days have been better than others.  I've gone to the doctors over it and always tell my doctor that it is still there....   Recently I started having lower tummy/pelvic pain and pressure too.  I finally got in to see the doctor on Monday and she sent me for an ultrasound on Tuesday.  They told me the results, that I had an enlarged right kidney....yikes I looked it up and coupled with my other symptoms it scared me.  Since I wasn't going to be able to see the urologist for a couple of weeks, and the pain seems worse, I went to the ER last night.

One of my BFFs Kandi, went with me.  We first tried Tampa General since it is such a good hospital (evidently everyone else in the Bay area thinks the same!)...I waited 3 hours and they said they really couldn't tell me how much longer it would be.  One of the workers whispered to us that the wait could be like 5 more hours!    The funniest thing to us, was they had already drawn blood and put in an IV tube.  Evidently they do that to everyone as soon as they come in cause we were all sitting out in the waiting room like that.  I thought that it could just stay in since we were going to another hospital.   The  lady at the front desk went bonkers as we were leaving, she said if I left with the IV  in she'd call the police!!   For some reason, that just struck us as hilarious!   We decided to leave and go to a smaller new hospital nearer home.  Man, they got me in so quick and had all the tests done in 3 hours!  Based on everything, they did bloodwork and a CAT scan as well as an exam.  Nothing was out of the ordinary and the doctor is thinking I may have something called IC  Interstital Cystitis.  Thankfully I don't have an infection.  Some of the worse things have been ruled out but I'm sure I will end up having to have my bladder scoped.....NOT looking forward to that but I want to rule out anything serious and that is the only way.  I see the Urologist in a couple of weeks.  Please pray that there is nothing wrong in my bladder, or anywhere else!  As far as the CAT scan went, everything looked normal on the outside but it doesn't see into the bladder itself.   I still have some concerns as I'm dealing with the pain but having the CAT scan helped me a lot. 

When I think of all the REAL problems people have, I feel guilty to focus such fear for myself.  I'm not saying I shouldn't go to the doctor, I know I should and I always do all the yearly things....Pap, mammogram, and for me a colonoscopy every 5 years.  It's being responsible to do all of those things, especially when you have kids!  But I don't want to play up things either.   I have a lot of fears now, the older I get and the more things I've gone through or seen others go through..... Really I think I feel very vulnerable right now and everything is just enhanced.   I've lived with pain for over 4 years now and it does get scary when no one can give me an answer.  I'm almost thinking I have a form of fibromyalgia although I do not have all the symptoms.   My upper back has been sore to the touch for years as well as my side.  I can live with the pain, it's more the psychological pain of not knowing WHAT is going on that is worse!  I want to totally trust God with this issue and not be consumed with it.  There are so many people who are going through much worse, much more serious things than this!!

Thank you for all your prayers!!

 

Here is me and my hospital buddy celebrating at Waffle House at 2am last night!!!!   Everything is funny at 2 am!  Believe me we had some funny things to laugh at....  I had the funniest doctor who kept calling me "Miss"  and let's just say he didn't do good on bedside manners....not that he was rude, he just had a certain way of saying things that was hilarious.  There is something he said, that I'd love to repeat but it might just be a little too personal about me!  LOL!!  Let's just say he answered my questions very clinically..... 

 

Today I took the kids to see my friend whose husband is having surgery tomorrow.  First we stopped at Pizza Hut (no not the healthiest but so good!)

 

 

Then we saw these ducks!  We were laughing and said it was a good thing that the Duck Dynasty guys were not around.......it was raining too much for the ducks to fly!

 

Truly, I enjoy being with my family.  It's lots of work to take the little ones out and go everywhere with them but I love for all of us to be together even if it's just going to the store.  I realize my time with Steve is limited, soon he will graduate from high school and go to work full time or to college.  I treasure the time together with him and all of the kids. 

 

 

Selah has had a good day, no issues.  She did get some really soft hand splints, just something to keep her wrists straight.  Most of the time she holds her hands/wrists straight but sometimes-usually when she is sick- she turns her wrists a odd way that is not good.  So now we have really good soft splints, that give her just enough pressure to keep her wrists straight.  She doesn't seem to mind them at all.   They also are going to be working on her leg braces, there was a small red spot on the back of one foot last week.  She may just need a little bit more padding on the brace. 

 

 

Selah has some head control.  We are hoping she will improve and strengthen it. 

 

 

As you know I've really looked into Stem Cell Research for Selah.  There are no real clinical trials going on in the USA that she would be eligible for.  I actually heard back from the doctor in Germany but they also are only in clinical trials with children who had their cord blood banked.  That is all the US is doing also.  There are some clinics in the US and abroad that are using the child's blood marrow cells to inject into the vein in the head but some of what I've read is a bit shady.   Of course you have China and Mexico that use "embryonic cells" BUT I've been to China and Mexico....I don't want them injecting anything into my child!  Who knows what is being given....and the kids don't have huge changes either....  It's not like they are waking up and getting out of their wheelchairs!  The real success seem to be with the lucky few who have their cord blood banked so they could use it.   I'd advise any expectant parent to back their child's cord blood.  It's not cheap BUT it could save or change their child's life.  It was just starting when we had Sam and I had planned on doing it with him but then he came early and everything was so crazy we didn't do it....  You have to have everything in place before the child is born and since he came early......we didn't have the kit.  Of course with Selah being adopted, we certainly don't have her cord blood.   Please pray that if there is any REAL study in the USA that we can find it and enroll Selah into it.  I did find a little info about a study using a child's tooth to get stem cells.  That is not so far fetched....  Sam's doctor in Miami, grew a cornea from a lady's tooth....and used it on the lady and she regained her sight!    I could see the teeth being used! 

 

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Here are some of my tomatoes.  Since I grow organically I do have lots of bugs.  I have to pick them and let them turn red inside.  Sometimes I do have to fry up some "Fried Green Tomatoes"  Yes we LOVE them in the south.  Of course we love everything fried, I've said if there was a way to fry poop, we'd probably eat it LOL  But if you've never had Fried Green Tomatoes or Fried Pickles....you just have not lived!!!!

 

 

Again thank you for your thoughts and prayers, not just for me but for the needs I bring forward......