Monday Madness...

Naw everything is ok around here, I just needed a title....LOL

Please keep praying for Teresa...she had the surgery, still on the ECMO machine, some internal bleeding going on....please pray for a miracle.

Also a dear lady in our church Irene, is having a stent put in this week.  She is sweet, loves God and everyone else....sings.... and is so positive.  Please pray that things go smooth and she recovers quickly! 

Started my daily yoga class at the Y.  It happens to be for Senior Citizens.  When I walked in, everyone was sitting on a chair and I though "oh my gosh I am wasting my time."  Well....I didn't quite feel like that 30 minutes later LOL!  Being so stiff, it was hard to even do the poses they did.  The appointment for the Urologist got moved up to today.  he looked at all the testing that has been done, and has no answers for me.  He thinks everything is ok (as far as nothing life threatening)  and did say the muscles in my back/side were in spasms so bad, he could actually feel them.   I really don't know where to go at this point.  I hurt all the time, and have for the last four years.  It has gotten worse in the past year.  It's crazy but I'm glad I don't have to worry about life threatening stuff but I wish I had an answer.  He thinks yoga, massage and heat will help....it hasn't yet....

Selah is doing well, the stiffness in her that we sensed over the weekend is gone.  She did great in therapy today.  Sarah did too, they got therapy while I had my yoga class. 

We had a really good weekend.  Church was great, a few more people....:)  We love visitors.   After church the guys went kayaking and the girls went out to eat and do some things:)  It was a good day, filled with family and old friends.  I'm loving how the kids like the kayaks!  Steve and Shad (and dad too) want to go every chance they get.  What a nice way for them to be together and get exercise. 

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I don't have many deep thoughts tonight.  I don't even know what I'm feeling, it's not warm or fuzzy that's for sure.  Just sad, tired, can't believe I woke up this morning and nothing has changed yet for Selah.  Trying to remember to hold on to the goodness of God, not be bitter when others get an answer to prayer, trying to TRUST through the darkness.  By doing those things, holding on, not being bitter, trusting.....I'm not doing them because I think I can earn a miracle for Selah.  NO!  I'm doing those so I do not shipwreck my life. 

In my life, there are friends who have problems.  99% of these problems are things they can change, sometimes the change would hurt and be hard but things could change....   Some of them have health problems that diet and exercise could change, some could change a job or get a second one for more money.  Some could get out of bad relationships, some could mend some fences..... We are faced with something we can not change.  The ONLY thing we can do is let our hearts change and stay committed to God.   I'm a fixer, I like to fix things....there is nothing I can fix here.....

ALL I can do is hold tight to God's hand.  That's it....just typing this does bring a peace....  Where can I go but to the Lord?  There is no where else to go....  That's where I am right now, again, as I have been many times in the past, TEN months.....holding, watching my heart, keeping my eyes focused on eternity.....

Please pray......