How Close do you want to live to God?

How close do you want to live to God?  I heard a song today that really spoke to my heart.  It spoke about walking with God through the sunshine and the rain of our lives.  I can't even remember the words now but it made me think.  One line said "temptation is great, but God's love is greater"   How true! 

You can live your life, go your own way and yet at the end of your life, you can still come to Jesus but WHY?  WHY? would you want to live without God in your life? 

Being raised in church, as teens, we would often have long discussion about "how far can you go" and still not do too much sin ....  we were mostly talking about how far could you go sexually without "being in sin"  Lord, I laugh and shudder now about some of those conversations!   Evidently we didn't really have the concept of not living on the edge....  

You know, I don't want to live on the edge spiritually.  I don't want to see how close I can get to sin and still "be saved".  Oh I've lived there in the past, that is why I don't want to live there now.  I have friends, who want the world and they want God.  The world is "fun" to them and God is a comfort to them but they don't want to let go of the things of this world and hold onto just God.  It's sad to watch. 

There is nothing, NOTHING, that is sweeter than Jesus. There is nothing like having a clean heart before God.  There is nothing like knowing that God is with you, with you in your worst moments of life. 

I'm not sinless, I definitely know my weaknesses....and I stay away from those things.

"Sin will take you further than you ever wanted to go, keep you longer than you ever wanted to stay and cost you more than you ever wanted to pay"   I heard that old saying a long time ago and it is so very true.

Being a pastor's wife all these years, I've had the chance to see how SIN (not just an act of sin but living in sin, being away from God) destroys lives and families, marriages and jobs.....  The sad stories we have heard over the years.  I know it true in my life also.

After we lost our twins, many years ago, I thought "I've had enough of God, He didn't work a miracle for us, I'm tired of serving Him"  So I did not play...I was DONE!  Completely utterly done with God.  We were serving in the inner city of NYC at the time.  There were a lot of changes in the ministry we were working in and it was a good time for us to move home.  We left and came home, I went back to work and I was done....  My focus was not on God, my husband, ministry ...it was on me and my anger.  It was NOT a good time in my life.  Our oldest son was young, our marriage was holding on by a thread, our schedule kept us from seeing each other much and that was fine with me.  We worked things so one of us was with our son most of the time and he didn't have to be in day care much.  My old friends didn't know what to think and I basically told them to mind their own business.  I tried going out and drinking but I don't like alcohol LOL .  I'm just not a party animal .....    Every once in a while, I would have to go to church.  At this point in our lives Jon was a chaplain only, not pastoring so it was easier for me to not have to go to church.  It was NOT a good time in my life....  This valley was a valley that went on for a few years....years I wasted! 

But through it all, God would draw my heart back to Him.  I remember going in service late one Sunday night and the pastor was giving a word from God.  He spoke so directly to me, it was almost scary.  God kept wooing my heart.....and when the sin got old and empty, and my anger was gone....  God was still there for me.  I repented and turned back to Him.   There were some struggles inside me for awhile but God helped me through.... 

Then just when things were good....we had Sam!  Oh MY!  At that point, I decided "God I am going to live close to Your side and let You walk with me through this"  I'd done the anger and the bitterness...I wasn't going to do that again!  There was nothing there, nothing and no one to hold on to.  But walking with Jesus gave me the peace and strength I needed. 

That was a decade ago that I decided, come what may, I'm going to trust God and live close to Him.  I'd been raised in Church, prayed often as a child, a teen and young adult.  Wanted nothing more than to be in ministry....I loved God but I had a warped expectancy that serving God meant Life was going to be perfect.  The Bible does not promise us that.  In fact the bible and Church history shows us that most followers of Christ suffered much hardship.  So I was like the parable of Jesus of the sower...

The Parable of the Sower

13 That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat by the lake. ² Such large crowds gathered around him that he got into a boat and sat in it, while all the people stood on the shore. ³ Then he told them many things in parables, saying: “A farmer went out to sow his seed. ⁴ As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. ⁵ Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. ⁶ But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. ⁷ Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. ⁸ Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. ⁹ Whoever has ears, let them hear.”

¹⁰ The disciples came to him and asked, “Why do you speak to the people in parables?”
¹¹ He replied, “Because the knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of heaven has been given to you, but not to them. ¹² Whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them. ¹³ This is why I speak to them in parables:

“Though seeing, they do not see;
    though hearing, they do not hear or understand.

¹⁴ In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah:

“‘You will be ever hearing but never understanding;
    you will be ever seeing but never perceiving.
¹⁵ For this people’s heart has become calloused;
    they hardly hear with their ears,
    and they have closed their eyes.
Otherwise they might see with their eyes,
    hear with their ears,
    understand with their hearts
and turn, and I would heal them.’^[a]

¹⁶ But blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear. ¹⁷ For truly I tell you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it.

¹⁸ “Listen then to what the parable of the sower means: ¹⁹ When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in their heart. This is the seed sown along the path. ²⁰ The seed falling on rocky ground refers to someone who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. ²¹ But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away. ²² The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful. ²³ But the seed falling on good soil refers to someone who hears the word and understands it. This is the one who produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.”

Although I had been raised in church, and had prayed, studied the bible, I was like seed falling on rocky ground, I heard the word with joy but had no roots, when trouble came, I fell away.

I'm being pretty open and honest tonight....maybe God wants me to be like this for YOUR sake...

The ONLY thing holding you back from God is yourself...He is willing that ALL should come to repentance.  If you haven't turned to Him and asked for forgiveness for your sin, do so, He is waiting for you.  If you are a Christian, and you are living far from Him, you need to turn back to Him also.  He is waiting for YOU!   I don't believe just praying once and then not living for God will get you into heaven....and even if I'm wrong, I know it sure won't get you peace.   You've got to give it all up to Him. 

There is nothing else in this world that will satisfy your soul like God.   I try and not use "Christian slang" but there if you are looking for PEACE, you will only find that peace at the foot of the Cross. Give it a try, throw yourself on God, give Him your mistakes and failures.    THEN you've got to walk with Him everyday.  It's not a one time prayer, it's walking it our daily. 

WOW...I'm not too preachy on here usually but this was just stirring up inside of me tonight....

But maybe someone needed to hear this.....



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These pictures are from last night.  Jon was watching a church service on DVD and you can see how attentive Sam is.  When the DVD finished, he fussed till Jon put a new one on!  I have never seen anything like him. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sam is the funniest little boy!  He is so drawn to God.  He likes little videos, Sesame Street or whatever but if you put on a preaching video, you have his complete attention.  He sat through TWO hour long DVDs last night, we don't make him LOL!  Unfortunately you won't see my other boys in there watching the preaching DVDs but Sam will be right there.  He won't sit for anything else ....it's really special.  He sits right through church every week, right on the front row....

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Today Selah got her stander.  It is a contraption that stand her upright.  It's supposed to help her not lose muscle mass, keep her bones strong, help her lungs etc....  She did not seem to mind it.  Me?  I bawled...I think I shocked our nurse.  I just hate how it looks. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There are days when my heart just aches within me....The last couple of days, it's been like that for me.  This stander was just the "straw that broke the camel's back" It's good for her to have the stander, it's not like it changes anything but, it hurts.   Today I'm clinging close......

 

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Please as you pray for Selah, please pray for me.  I've had some medical issues for years that have been unresolved.  They've gotten worse lately along with some new issues.  On top of the whole stiffness/pain throughout my neck, shoulders and back.  I went to the doctor today and have some testing set up.  To be honest, I always expect the worst....so....I'm a bit freaked out! 

 

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Teresa was adopted from China.  She was featured on The Shepherd's Crook's website just like Shad was....  Tonight after 3 years of waiting....she is getting a new heart as I write.  "Oh God be with her, be with the doctors.... be with her family and please be with the family who so unselfishly gave the gift of life to another child today."    I have to say that family who gave their child's heart for transplant after the child's death, is an amazing family.  If I were in their situation, I hope I'd do the same but it must be so very hard.  God be with them.....

 

Read her story on the link below. 

 

http://ourplacecalledhome.blogspot.com/2013/06/teresa-has-heart.html

 

 

 

I do not know this family personally but I have friends who do....I love their blog and their love for their children. 

 

 

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Thank you all for your prayers and kind comments!