Results & Pictures of Ukraine War

The pathology report is in an there is no sign of cancer or even atypical cells!  I'm incredibly thankful & relieved.  God gave me much grace in the past almost two months.  I was able to not focus on this too much and just leave it in God's hands regardless of the outcome. God helped me to focus on Him and my family, I wanted us to enjoy Christmas break, without this hanging over our heads and God helped us to do that!   I want to encourage all of you Ladies  to get your yearly mammograms &  paps.  Stick to whatever schedule your doctor gives you on other tests also. Better to catch something early and deal with it if possible.  Even tho this was stressful, I'm glad I had it taken out, in five years or so it could have changed and become something serious.  The doctor and staff I dealt with were just fantastic and helped me in many ways.  I am glad to say this saga is over!!!!!  Thank you for your kind thoughts. prayers and messages!


Well we have wonderful news, this past weekend we got to meet Steve's girlfriend Lauren!  Steve has guarded his heart in several situations and we feel like God has rewarded him with the perfect girlfriend.  She fit right into our crazy family, bless her heart.  Who knows what the future might hold for them, we are excited to see!  (Isn't' she absolutely gorgeous??)

Look at my sleepy Minion last night.  

Recently we heard some sad news from our beloved Ukraine!  The WWII monument celebrating the largest tank battle of the war has been destroyed by Pro Russian forces.  It's a shame, it celebrated both the Russian and Ukraine victory over the Nazi's that was a real turning point in the war on the Eastern Front.  We saw how proud Ukrainians were of their victory over the Nazis.  This monument was about an hour's drive from the girls' orphanage and we went there one day with our driver (who spoke no English) We loved him-somehow we communicated.  It was a lovely spring day and we knew our time in Ukraine was drawing to an end and our girls would soon be released to us.  It was just a perfect day.....

It was HUGE~

Here we are on the feet of it

this was on the back side

During WWII that huge plain was a battle field. 

Unfortunately it has become a battle field again

I like this picture of Steve on a tank

this monument reminded me of the one in DC for the Vietnam Vets- it had all the names of the men who were killed in this battle. 

This is now.....

So very sad

Right where we walked-now there are soldiers 







 Our heart will always love Ukraine, the country that was so hospitable to us, the country that gave us our girls.   



Surgery & 10 year anniversaries

Surgery is over and we are just waiting for the results.  Thank you for your prayers, it was a very easy experience.

Sometime on Monday, a peace settled over me.  I was still a bit apprehensive, but I slept fine that night, had to be there at 6:30 am Tuesday on the coldest morning of the season for Florida LOL.  After much thought I had  decided to go with Florida Hospital of Wesley Chapel, a new hospital and used a surgeon from our medical group.  I had debated about what to do since I do think it matters where you have medical procedures done.  One of my college friends had had the same type of surgery last year and used the same surgeon and same hospital and had a really good experience.  That gave me confidence. 

I had decided against a biopsy because an interducatl Papillion usually is surgically removed just in case it could turn into cancer so regardless of what a biopsy might say now, in a couple of years, it could change.  PLUS, I've done some reading about biopsies and I'm not comfortable with them if they can be avoided.  Some studies are showing that in the case of cancers, there is sometimes a "needle track"  of tumors.  I don't ever want to take the advice of the internet but some real cancer hospitals like Sloan-Kettering are doing studies to look at the safety of this common procedure.  I'd rather error on the side of caution. 

Since the tumor could not be seen or felt, I had to first have a thin wire inserted to mark it.  Generally the wire is inserted into the tumor but I asked if it could be placed to the side or on top of it without penetrating the tumor.  The radiologist cheerfully accommodated  my request without being upset or making me feel like I was crazy.  I really appreciated that!   He was able to loop it around the tumor so it was marked for the surgeon, but the tumor was not penetrated.  That procedure was the worst part, but it was not too bad.  There were about five people in the room and one of the staff held onto my feet and started rubbing them!  I just concentrated on that and it helped me.  I don't know if they offer that service for all patients but I sure did appreciate it!   Of course I was numbed up, but honestly that only helped somewhat.  But I've experienced much worst pain that that before hitting my foot on a toy.  It was just the idea of a wire being inserted in to  my boob!  LOL  The radiologist did tell me that it looked like an typical Papillion so that helped to take away some of the fear.

Then I was taken back for the surgery.  The surgeon was able to take the tumor out in one piece and said it was soft, which I've been told is a good sign.  Of course it has to be examined by pathology because sometimes there are atypical or cancer cells inside it.  We are very happy that the tumor was taken out with out it being ruptured in any way.  In case there are any bad cells inside, the idea is they stayed inside! 

The pain has not been bad at all.  I'm surprised at how easy it's been.  The staff told me to keep an ice pack on and believe me I have done that!  I haven't even taken an Advil in over 24 hours.   They also told me to keep a bra on all the time.  I was bummed, I thought I'd have an excuse NOT to wear one for a week or so LOL.  Today I took my first real shower and realized how hugely swollen I am, it was a shocker, lots of bruising too.  I hurried right up and put that sucker back on since it's supposed to help keep the swelling down.  The bandages are still on, and no I've not looked LOL.  I'm not good with incisions, I'm basically doing what I did when I had the C-section and let things come off when they fall off ( that was the staff's advice too) I had learned when I had the C-section to use a blow dryer to dry the air (set on a very low speed and heat) I did the same thing today.  I recovered so quickly from the C-section so I'm hopeful this will be the same. 

All in all, it's been much easier than what I anticipated.   Jon's taking the week off so I don't have to pick up the kids and a friend is going to help me next week.  Steve delayed his return to college and stayed with the kids for the surgery.  His classes didn't start till the next day but it's fun to get back early and see all your friends.  So I appreciate him staying over. 

I'm not too worried about the results, I think everything will be ok but of course I will be glad to know for sure.

Today I had to get a pelvic ultrasound, I actually drove myself so we didn't have to take the little ones.  The ultrasound was fine, driving home was rough!  That was the last test of all the things I had to do regarding all the stomach issues I've had.  The doctors have concluded I just have really bad IBS, with some active colitis.  I just have to take better care of myself and go back in 2 years for another colonoscopy.   This had been going on since October....the breast tumor was the surprise!  I thought I had something really wrong with my stomach.... then I just went to my yearly mammogram thinking nothing was amiss.....SURPRISE!  It's a bit ironic to me. 

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BEFORE all of that we had our 10 year anniversary party last Sunday as pastor of our church.    We had the actual party/celebration at Hillsborough River State Park.  We rented the hall there and cooked out.  Several folks brought their kayaks and canoes so all the kids had a chance to go on the river.  We also had folks fishing and walking the trails.  It was a very relaxed time for us and just our type of celebration!

Ok you can tell it was very casual!

 

 

 

Saturday was our actual 10 years exactly and that was also 10 years to the day that I got Shad!

 

 

So while Jon was here in the US with Steve and Sam, getting ready for his first week as pastor of Grace Church, I left that Friday to fly to China and get Shad.  It was hard going on my own but at that time it was the best decision.  So Jon's first Sunday at the church was January 8th and as he was finishing his Sunday night sermon, I was meeting Shad for the first time in the orphanage (about 8 am China time- 12 hours ahead).  What a big day for our family!!!!  It does not seem possible that we adopted Shad 10 years ago, actually it seems like he was always with us, always our son.  We went to Chick Fil A on Saturday so he could celebrate with the food he loves, he got a 30 piece chicken nugget box!   He was meant to be our boy!

 



 

 

 

 



 

Sarah and me after her bath. 

 

 

Tuesday after surgery we had to drop Steve off for his second semester of college.  I didn't know if I'd be able to go but I was fine.  Jon said I'd gone if I just had gotten up from open heart surgery LOL



BTW, that sweat shirt is my oldest piece of clothing I own, somehow it has missed all the times I've cleaned out my clothes closet.  I actually wore it the day we brought Steve home from the hospital!  I also wore it the day we brought Sam home!!!!  No kidding!  I've got my money worth from that sweat shirt!


Bye Bye!




We had to go to Chick Fil A to console ourselves.  Shad fed Sarah for me, I couldn't do it no matter how hard I tried, I kept getting soup all over her. 



We had to say goodbye but not for long- we had to drop something off to him the next day LOL and he is coming home Friday for the weekend.  The beautiful girl he is dating is coming too to meet us.......we can't wait....poor little girl RUN!  LOL  she has no idea.....

Thank you again for all your thoughts and prayers, I'm sure they've helped! 

Happy New Year!

This new year didn't come with any big resolutions for me......I just want to get through the next month or so!  To be honest, Jon and I couldn't even stay up to welcome the new year in.  Our boys thought we were total wimps but we'd been watching a nice dry WWII documentary and the narrator was an Englishman, it was better than any sleeping pill. 

Having our boy home from college has been so helpful.  I've gotten some time with my girlfriends, Jon and I got to go out with some close friends and I've gotten a lot of work done around the house.  We STILL had stuff in the church's storage sheds so thanks to Steve, we got all that to our new house.  It was all plastic boxes of memories..... 

THEN I sat out in the garage and went through each box.  I found that even though I'm so NOT a hoarder, I had some junk stuck in there so I got 20 boxes down to about 10.  I also found so many little outfits of the children's so I washed all of them and put them in my empty hope chest.  I had Steve and Sam's "coming home from the hospital" outfits.  Both of the boys wore preemie outfits home.  It's really hard to believe looking at Steve now!  I had the outfit that the orphanage on Shad when they handed him over to me....all FIVE layers!  I thought I had a fat little Chinese baby until I went to change him!!!   I have the beautiful matching dresses that I was able to change Selah and Sarah into before we walked out of the orphanage with them.  Just writing about those little pieces of cloths make tears well up in my eyes.  What great memories. 



I also found some awfully embarrassing teen age stuff LOL- one of my BFF told me I HAD to keep it so she could see all the pictures and notes!  I was laughing so hard at my teen aged self!  Then I found some articles I'd written for our college newspaper including a long one about a trip to Chicago over Christmas in 1986.  We did a mission trip to the inner city.  I have to admit I cleaned up the real story quite a bit!  It was a hard trip, we stayed in a tenement building and it was so cold.  The apartment had NO water pressure and very little hot water.  But it's a great memory....to look back on! 



I'm in the far right.  Funny thing, on the bottom picture that was about a sock hop- my roommate was in that picture in the striped sweater! 


Then I found the picture we had made for our "official picture" when we were missionaries to NYC



Who were those babies???????????  And WHY hasn't perms come back in style?????




Anyhow I'm happy I've been trying to get that one job done for about a year LOL!!!!  I got to see all our memories and clean out all the roach droppings!  Fun times!





We've had some wonderful weather down here in Sunny Florida.  Some folks complained about it but it's been great, even now although it's colder, it's still great.  I love Florida- I could be a PR person for Florida.  We've gotten a lot of time outside with the kids. 

 

Some pictures from Sunday

 

 

 

I'll be honest I usually dress my kiddos up for church.  I think it teaches them that Sunday is a day set apart- not for legalistic reasons.  But this past week, I was just not ironing anything!!!!!

 

 

 Shad and Sam are just 4 months apart in age, Shad has already turned 12 and Sam will next month.  Shad is NOT a giant, he's average size for an Asian but on the small size on the "American" scale.  Sam is the size of a 4 or 5 year old.  He is a bit rounder, so I have to buy size 8 and hem everything.  I'm so glad we live in Florida so he can wear shorts most of the time!!!!  No one can ever believe Sam is as old as he is.  It's part of the whole Peter's Anomaly/ Peter's Plus.  Sarah also has that but she is not as small as Sam is despite her years of malnutrition.  She has caught up in an amazing way!  In fact the little outfit she was wearing Sunday...that was it's last time LOL!  I could barely squeeze her into it. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well just a little catch up....

 

We have a BIG week- This Friday January 8th will be 10 years since I was given our sweet baby Shad in a cold orphanage in Chengdu China.  It was also my husband's first Sunday at our church!  BIG day for the Clantons on January 8, 2006 on absolute opposite ends of the earth!   I want to write about that experience this weekend.   This Sunday our church is having a big celebration to mark our 10 year anniversary.  We are looking forward to it!



Christmas 2015

Hope y'all had a good Christmas, we sure did!



Jon and I hate to wrap presents, we used every bag we could LOL



We have a tradition of opening one present on Christmas Eve





a heated blanket for Sarah






Then Christmas morning.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 yes Sarah got lots of clothes. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then we had finger foods to snack on during the day.  Some of our family came over. 

 

 

Everything was pretty healthy except for the "little smokies" which are a Christmas Tradition according to Steve :)  and shrimp jambalaya  

 

 

 

Selah got a special bunny from her biological sister, along with a letter and a picture.  That was probably the sweetest part of our Christmas this year.  We look forward to them meeting again in the future.  Selah also got some clothes and a new bed set.  She was very sleepy when we were doing presents so I didn't bother her with pictures. 

 

 

My husband's best present was that one of my friends took one of the white kittens/cats and one of our nurses took the other one!  So we are down to just three cats!  He is very happy about that!  He is attached to a cat Vermont that one of our nurses "gave' us LOL.  It was a pity take, LOL.  The nurse was tired of it so we said it could be an outdoor cat, but over the last couple of years, Vermont has gotten Jon to love her and she sleeps with us nightly.  Last night I was trying to move her and get the blanket wrapped around my feet (the way I like to sleep) and Jon told me not to bother Vermont!!!!!  WHAT???? 

 

 

 I'm enjoying our break, Steve is home for two more weeks and Shad and the little ones are off from school too.  There's nothing I love more than being with my kids.  And I sure love them all being home under our roof at night!   There's nothing better!

Well hope you all had a good Christmas and are having a relaxing time with your family too. 

 

 

Sorry it's been so long......

Thanks for all the messages of concern I've gotten from you guys!  I should have updated but I'm really dealing with all of this...

So the surgery is set for January 12.  It will be a lumpectomy.  If there is cancer, we will go back and do a mastectomy.  The surgeon was pretty blunt but she gave me some hope as the borders of the tumor are good and even and that usually means no cancer.  She considers it large.  However, due to the placement, no one can feel it!  SO GET YOUR MAMMAGRAMS!!!!!!!    The reason we are doing a lumpectomy is because this kind of tumor can turn into cancer at some point in life.  Who wants to deal with that?

And I've totally made up my mind about the mastectomy-if it's cancer, I'm not taking any chances.  In my opinion, it's best to know how you are going to handle a situation before hand if you can. 

A college friend went with me to the appointment, she has had the very same thing as me and used the same surgeon.  We actually laughed quite a bit, especially when my blood pressure was taken and it was 178/110.....  Yep, me who usually has such extremely low blood pressure.  My friend chose the same path as me, a lumpectomy and she was cancer free so I'm hoping I'll have the same outcome.

I'm still in shock, I can't believe this is happening to be honest.  At the same time, I'm still dealing with stomach pain and other problems.  And joy of joy it is time to see the thyroid doctor too....so I feel like I'm going from one doctor to another. 

Thanks for your prayers and concern, it really means a lot to me. 

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On a much lighter note, today is Sarah's 9th birthday!  I love my baby girl so much!

This is what I found when I walked in her room this morning!  She was in the toy box.  I had to take a picture before I rescued her. 

 

 

 

 

her on the swing today

 

And I just love this picture of her and Jon.  It melts me!

 

 

 

Sarah is an extraordinary child.  When I think of all she went through, living in such a dark place, in physical darkness, it takes my breath away.  Yet she is full of light and joy.  Some think she is like she is because she doesn't have the understanding to even remember the past.  I don't think that is true, I hear too much from other parents who have adopted children like her.  Somehow she held on to hope.  I don't know how she did it.  But I love her more than life itself.   She is a true Joy, she loves deeply.  I thank God for her. 

 

Nine years ago her birthday was filled with rejection, today it was filled with playtime outside, cuddles and ice cream.  We sat outside for hours today (yeah Florida!)  I'm thankful for my girl. 

 

 

Here is our Sunday Christmas pictures, they didn't do too good.



Selah was annoyed at waiting.  She turned her head away, you can see she is sitting straight up and is holding her head up on her own.  She has her spunk!



Then Sam was ready to EAT!  He was not pleased either!

 

Here they are all together......we are planning family pictures in the next week or so -hopefully they will turn out better. 







Shad dog sat for my friend and used his money to buy a new BB rifle and a real target.  He's had a lot of fun with it and does great with hitting the target.   The boy is southern through and through.  (don't worry he doesn't aim at animals or people)




a picture of our first fake tree and first in our own house tree we've had since Sam started walking!  Everyone including the cats and have done good with it ( before we put up a tree in the church and used our own ornaments) 

You can see a couple of the cats under it



This picture was taken the Sunday after Thanksgiving, after a great week we had to take Steve back to college to face finals.  We weren't going to see him for two weeks so I was sad.  He did great on finals, he got all A's & B's in his classes.  Pretty good!









the little people were sleepy



Well I've caught y'all up on our life.  I appreciate your thoughts and prayers over the next few weeks.  I wish I could just run away and not deal with any of this but I have to face it and get it over with. 

Jesus We're Depending on You

Today I'm just having a hard time wrapping my mind around what is ahead for me.  Believe me I realize more folks have much more harder things they are dealing with.  But I'm just crying out from my heart that I just do not want to go through anything else!  I feel like the past three years have been the absolute hardest of my life.  God's still been good, He's still been faithful but I'm only human and I feel like I'm just hanging on by my toe nails at this point.  I feel so alone and I feel like the future is so unknown. 

I have appointments set with two different surgeons set- one for next week and one for the following Monday.  At the least, I'm looking at a lumpectomy- which I want to be safe- but I realize it will affect me and make it hard for me to care for the kids for awhile.  If I have to have anything else done, it will obviously make more of a difference in how I will be able to care for the kids.  After I got the final report from the radiologist, surgical removal was recommended, which is what I want but seeing it in black and white is a little unnerving.  At least I will not have a fight with our insurance. 

Sam and Sarah are dependent on us for total care.  Sarah doesn't walk, except a little with us holding her hands and helping her, a lot!  Sam walks but still needs a lot of help, he can't get into our van without help for example.  Thankfully our nurses care for Selah, who also needs total care.  Everything we do, we have to think about how it will affect the three little ones. 

Yesterday I got all my paperwork done for the year for the church.  I also got all my personal paperwork done for various things.  I even got all of my husband's ironing done LOL- that's how to tell if I'm totally stressed- I'm a weirdo- I IRON!!!  I'm trying to get things done ahead of time in case I can't do things for awhile.

So the only thing that is helping me at this point is focusing on eternity (and ironing)  I absolutely love Van Buren Assembly of God- You tube channel VBFATV.  I just let song after song play.  It's funny, when Selah was in the hospital I was ministered to by their videos so many nights, sitting in her hospital room.  Once we got home, we had horrible internet so I didn't listen to them often.  But now with FIOS (which I'm so thankful for) I can listen to them all the time.  They focus on songs about eternity and heaven.  Now I'm not saying I'm dying- but focusing on eternity helps me to put into context my life and it's problems. 

It's funny but when you can focus on eternity, it doesn't matter so much about what you are going through.  You begin to realize that life is so short and eternity is so long..... "For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;" 

Whatever is our light affliction.....it's just for a moment- in the light of eternity. 

So while I'm worrying about the physical things that are ahead, the financial scare me too!  We have good insurance but we've been paying out a lot lately.  It used to be with our insurance, that once the family deductible was hit, the insurance paid at 100%.  Now we have an individual deductible...THEN the insurance still only pays 80%....  the little kids have a secondary state insurance and that usually pays the family insurance co-pays so that's why I hadn't noticed the change in policy.  Lovely.....and at the holidays. 

But God is always faithful.  He'd always taken care of us and helped us to meet bills, make payments or sometimes, it's just been wiped out.  So I have to stop trying to think my way through this.  Whenever I've have tried to figure out things financially, I've freaked out LOL.  But when I learn to just depend on God, it all works out.  BUT even after all the financial miracles we've seen, all the miracles of provision, I'm still a worry wart!  I totally get all the Old Testament stories about the children of Israel, they'd see God do a miracle and then they'd turn around and doubt Him at the next sign of trouble!  Yep- I totally understand them!  It's human nature.  But God is above all of that!

I love this song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14YBNqk_U5U
Jesus we're depending on you!


When our faith tried by fire
we still know that It's true
The devil's a liar
there's not much he can do
And tho he tries hard to stop us
 we know You'll see us through
Jesus we're depending on you

Chorus:
Jesus, we're depending on you
Jesus, we're depending on you
Jesus, we're depending on you
Depending on you to see us through (repeat)

Verse:
We came to the water
Didn't know what to do
There was no one to help us
Couldn't see our way through
Then the Lord moved the water
And we walked right on through
Oh Jesus we're depending on you

Love this song and the message of this song!  Listen to it. 

Whatever we are all going through, it's just a light affliction in the light of eternity.... this is what I have to remember also.  Thanks for all your emails and prayers!