Day 56 Fish OIl Study

We are back in Jacksonville, left home about 6 or 7 pm and got here at 11 pm.  All our clocks have different times on them LOL so I'm not sure when we left.  Jon insists on going the "country route" instead of the interstate but it takes about the same time either way.  I just hate 2 laned roads, I'm always positive that we're about to have a head on collision at anytime!  So I had to "help" him drive all the way!  I'm exhausted:)

 

Anna, my niece painting the closet

 

such dedication:)  I love this girl!!!

 

 

I see the "light at the end of the tunnel"  thanks to my wonderful sister in law and some friends:)  Do you like the color of Selah's room?  It is beautiful and peaceful.  The worst of everything is done and they are finishing up everything else:)   One thing I REALLY appreciated this weekend  was using our washer & dryer.  This is the first time in FIVE months that I didn't have to take my laundry downstairs, either to the basement at the RMH or to the 1st floor at the hotel.  It wa great not to worry about getting in some one elses way or having someone  take our stuff!  It was so easy to go in the laundry room and to do all my laundry while I was doing other things...you have no idea hahaha!!!!

Her swing is all set up thanks to our friend Jim.  I sat out there today with a friend and thougth soon Selah will be able to be outside and enjoy this.  I do love Florida weather!  It was a beautiful day today! 

I've found that I "drink in' my surroundings.  I do love the South:)  I love the flat land and the pine trees, palms, oak trees and the Spanish moss.  I love the smell of rain and the sound of frogs....in the middle of the winder:)   I love our food:)  All that weight I lost maybe creeping back on!  I love that there is sweet tea everywhere:)  Publix and wide parking spaces....  I love that even when it is cold in the morning, you know it will be warm by lunch time!  I guess just being back in our familiar surroundings brings a measure of peace.

 I'm glad I don't have to see the Erie Canal every day.....Tonight driving over a bridge, I had to keep myself calm.  I started having a panic attack and thought what if the van went over the edge or the bridge was blown up, how would I save the kids....I don't see any beach trips in our future!  Pools freak me out now too!  I'm no fan of water right now!

Selah has had a great weekend.  Our friends have dropped in to see her and I"ve called and everything has been nice and calm.  No storms!  It is hard for us to be away from her, not knowing what she understands or thinks bothers me.  Hopefully this is the last time we will be away!  We are planning on her going home on Wednesday as long as everything goes into place.  We are waiting on the nursing and the transport.  We do not want to drive her!  Can you imagine our first time alone with her and we have to drive 4 hours with all the kids?  In the country...?   No way!   So we asked for her to be transported by ambulance.   That is all being set up. 

We had a sweet service at church.  Our music minister sang several songs about Trusting God through the storms of life.  All I could do was cry....I'm not a crying person and really hate to in front of people.  You have no idea how much I hate for people to see me cry!  I don't really liked to be hugged or comforted either, it just embarrasses me to death!  So I fight and resist tears as much as possible.  But today the sweetness of the songs just overwhelmed me.  I'm so glad I can trust God.  I feel like I'm on a crazy fast roller coaster with no end in sight....my life is totally out of my control at this point.  My family's life is out of control at this point....We are not in control anymore, we are just trusting God and basically living by "the seat of our pants"  I am learning to make a few plans but most things overwhelm my mind at this point and it's been like that for the past five months.  For the folks who know me, that is not "how I roll"  but it is now!  When I worked in probation I really tried  with my paperwork to "touch it once" .  Basically when it came in, I picked it up and looked at it and did whatever needed to be done with it, whether it was filing, or sending it to court or whatever....and that worked great!   So since then I've tried that with everything else, if I was cleaning a room or whatever I did what was needed to be done and was finished.  LOL  that is out of the window now.   I can't focus, even on conversations with people, much less work!   I can write my blog....and that helps me to focus some so we will see how things go with this new normal for me!

So  we are getting ready to go to bed so we can get up early tomorrow and go see Selah and do some chores! 

Please keep praying for Selah.  Pray that the fish oil will help her brain to repair itself.  She was doing so amazingly well before we came here.  We are praying that she will progress back to where she was before she was transferred.  These past few weeks have been very depressing and sad to us.  Hopefully that will change soon!  I believe she will recover quicker at home although it terrifies me to take her home....

A good friend gave me some Essential Oils today and I used some for me and have some to put on Selah.  I've got several friends who are using this, I don't know much about it but I'm open to try things with her and myself too!  I put Lavender behind my ears today for calmness and I loved the smell:)  I like the idea that they are true oils and not some flavored lotion or something with a million chemicals in it.  I probably will be using buckets of the Lavender:)