Happy 9th birthday Selah!

 

 

My three precious 9 year olds.....

 

we took so many pictures with the reporter that by the time I put the three little ones together, it was time for her to go night night!  Once her nightly feeds start, she conks out!

 

 

 

 

We started this morning on the beach.  Here is my last picture off the balcony.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sarah sitting pretty, waiting while the guys load the car...

 

 

 

This is how Sam rolls, he crawled back in bed and went to sleep LOL Smart boy!

 

So our nice beach vacation is done....we early left so we could get back to Selah on her birthday.  We also had scheduled an interview with the Tampa Times since we knew we wanted to be back early to be with her.  The interview went great and will be in Sunday's paper.  It was interesting to take time to talk both to the reporter and to the photojournalist who came with her.  We all had a lot in common.  I'll post a link on here when it comes out.

 

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Talking to the reporter brought so many things to the surface, not that they are buried far beneath....

 

 

 

 

 

 

Last year on Selah's birthday, Sam and Sarah both had EUAs (exams under anesthesia)  We started the day at 6 am with Sam, he had his exam and did good.  Once he was in recovery, one of us went and got Sarah....  then she had her exam. 

 

 

 

Since Dr A couldn't really tell a lot about her eye, he wanted to have an MRI so it could be clearly seen if she was a candidate for the surgery (implant)   We ended up getting back to the Ronald Mcd House with the little ones around 5 pm or so.  It was storming outside so instead of taking Selah out for her birthday, we planned on doing that the next day.  It had been such a long day for us....we all went to bed early, completely exhausted.  We were waiting to hear if Sarah would be scheduled for the MRI the next day.   We thought it was best if we went to bed and was ready to get up early in case we had to be at the hospital in the morning. 

 

We had no idea that that was the last night we'd all spend together for 6 months, we had no idea what was ahead of us the next day....

 

Some pictures I took of my three 8 year olds.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If I could turn back time.....Cher sings that song and I can't hear it now without thinking....IF ONLY I could turn back time! 

 

I guess one thing I'm thinking right now is just how LIFE can change so quickly.  We live in uncertain times but even when things are good, accidents can happen in a blink of an eye....Love your kids, hold them tight, don't have any regrets.....

 

With Selah I have no regrets, I loved her and was just thrilled to be her mommy.  Every day we had together was precious to me.  I loved seeing her blossom with us.... Every morning getting them up was like opening a present for me.  Those few weeks we had with her before the accident will probably be forever the happiest time of my life on this earth.  Obviously I wish we'd had a huge birthday party for her that night....and of course I regret the accident with everything within me..... but everything before that was just wonderful......

 

The only thing I can do now is to continue to give her the very best care and love....  I'm determined that she gets the best medical care in the state of Florida.  I'm determined that she get the best nursing care....I'm determined to make her life as comfortable and as easy for her as humanly possible.  We make a vow to the judge when we adopted the girls that we'd give them a family forever and we will....

 

Happy Birthday Selah

 

You have changed my life like no one else has.  You have forced me to look deep inside my soul and to relay on God in a way I've never known before.  Your name means "to think upon God or the things of God...the word of God" and certainly that has happened this past year.  You are teaching me what it really means to love, to love without expecting anything in return, not even a smile or a hug.  You are teaching me real commitment in a very deep way. 

 

Sweetheart, I wish life was different....I wish this accident had never happened....I still pray for a miracle.  But no matter what you are our girl and we will always take care of you and love you. 

 

Please continue to pray for Selah......