We took Selah for her flu shot and some boosters. She cried immediately when she got the shot. I know it sounds odd but I am so thankful she can communicate her displeasure. She was happy to go home! Then at home she got on her stander and was getting a massage when I took this picture.
Sam tried to get the camera
if he looks a little orange, daddy didn't clean him too good after a plate of spaghetti LOL
our backyard fence...
pineapples
Shad between the fences.
I really like this picture of Shad
the big oak tree
Lots of thoughts going through my head....
http://truedsicernment.com/2008/07/12/david-wilkersons-warning-for-the-assembly-of-god-sadly-unheeded/
I read the above article today and found it interesting. I didn't always agree with David Wilkerson but this seemed to speak to me. He is not against large mega churches as he was the pastor of one in NYC but rather he is against the way church growth is done now. It stirs me.
I see in the church world a "fakeness" I guess I've been through so much in my life that I need more than just a "good word and a cup of coffee" . You know the only way I've been able to get through situations in my life is to "pray through" Just me and God....didn't need any one to lay hands on me, didn't need some big emotional release, didn't need some inviting song, don't need no counseling....just needed to be real before God. I don't mean that as some proud statement, it's just the fact. It's the only way I know. It's not taught much today and it's not practiced much either.
I'm not against any of the above, but I'm just saying it hadn't worked for me.
Some folks think maybe I should go to counseling or at least get on long term anxiety meds. I do take one when I can't fight an anxiety attack (usually about once a month or so) I personally feel like what is counseling going to do for me? Most people who go to Christian counseling or to speak to their minister KNOW what they need to do, they just don't want to do it LOL I don't know that a counselor would help me (tried it before a couple of times, waste of time and money for me) Right after the accident, I did think about counseling but it didnt' work out in a way I felt comfortable..... I figure no one has been in our situation exactly so who can help me but God! Sometimes people's ideas and advice weary me....to the bone. Most of the time I just say "ahem, yeah, sure" Honestly it does really weary me. Just a few days ago someone was saying stuff to me....the whole "God doesn't give us more than we can bear....." I didn't even bother to correct them....
I'm not against meds, I'm actually quite thankful for the one I was given since it is not something I have to take daily. I'm not depressed but I do get anxious (yeah yeah I know "don't' be anxious for anything....." I do turn to God, if not I'd be in the insane asylum no doubt whatsoever! I fight anxiety, just last night I had to pray/breath through an anxiety attack. I made it through without having to take any meds but it is a fight. It lasted about an hour, I've had worse ones but I don't try and pop a pill every time it happens. I do believe and God can help me and He does.
ANYHOW.....I think the world is so tired of silly Christian talk (I know I am) and they want to see the reality of God in our lives. Even tho that is not really what David Wilkerson was talking about in the above article, he was more discussing ministers and how they go about trying to have church growth but it made me think along the lines I shared.
Personally at our church, we have tried a few things that is taught in "church growth classes" but we were not comfortable in using them. So we didn't....and we just trust God to bring in the folks He wants at our church. Even tho we are younger, we'd be considered DINOSAUERS by most pastors. I don't know, we don't have a mega church, we don't even have every pew filled in our church but we are just ourselves, folks going through life, learning to depend on God and trying to live close to him. We are NOT fakers that is for sure LOL I said it before but I laugh when I see preachers older than us who dress "cooler" than my teenaged son LOL Personally I don't give a rip how you dress, some Sundays Jon will wear a suit, some he doesn't. Most Sundays I wear a dress because I LIKE dresses and feel comfortable in them. We don't dress a certain way because we feel like we have to, to be spiritual OR that it will make us look "cool" (that just cracks me up.). Either way is legalistic to me.
ok the article talked about nothing that I just blabbed on and on about LOL SORRY! but it stirred up ideas in me.
Hope you all have a great weekend, Steve & I are getting up at 6 am to go to a HUGE neighborhood yard sale. I'm hoping to find some nice size 6 clothes for Sarah and a bigger soft rocking horse for her! Wish me luck:)
please continue to pray for Selah. BTW, she actually went poop on her own today!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!! We were all happy. Our doctor wants her on apple juice to see if that will help. The prune juice did nothing for her at all!!!
So, you don't know me. You know people who know me, and after reading your post before going to bed every night, and praying for you, your family, and Selah (always and ever Selah) I feel like I know you.
ReplyDeleteYou often express, most eloquently, things I think myself. Theologically (God help us both) we are very similar creatures who don't have time for pop theology or for people who fail to think. I have had some unresolved serious health issues in the past several years that have brought me to a place that I would never have believed I could be...
I believe that everything that happens requires us to have faith, but I don't believe that everything that happens is God's direct Will. I don't think that God Willed Selah into the canal that day. Because God could never do evil. I think it was a terrible, terrible accident that you must now struggle to put into Christian perspective. To find a way to glorify God because He is God. I don't believe that God made me sick. I think that I live with the consequences of a fallen world and so I got sick and eventually it got bad enough to bring me to where I am today. Where I praise God in spite of the circumstances.
I have had more well-meaning friends mouth Christian platitudes that make me about blind with anger. You have touched on many of the things people say that are bad theology. You have made me laugh more times than I can count by saying things that I have said or thought (when I didn't have the nerve you have).
Tonight you were talking about counseling, medication, and being anxious. I understand all to well from whence you come. You need to do what works for you, and you will know if you need something else if you need to change the circumstances of your life. Until then stand where you stand and forget what they are saying.
One day a friend felt obligated to send me a verse. She knew that I was having a hard time and she decided that she would send me a lot of encouragement, God would never give me more than I could bear... and that II Corinthians 4:8 would be the shining example that I needed to overcome both my depression and anxiety (isn't it odd that your friends think you need medication and mine think that I shouldn't have it if I only trusted God?) Anyway, I love the verse, I always had, but I felt obligated to tell her that while not crushed, not in despair, not abandoned, not destroyed, I was still being hard pressed, perplexed, persecuted, and struck down. Do you think it's a bad thing that I haven't heard from her since?
Someday, I hope to meet you. To talk with you. To laugh. It may not be this side of glory, but know that you have someone in North Dakota who staunchly supports you and your decision not to medicate...
North Dakota, some place I'd always wanted to go:)
DeleteI think it is a GOOD thing you haven't heard from your "friend" Sometimes people get so sanctimonious with me I just want to slap them silly. I generally refrain so I don't' end up in prison LOL In all honesty am sure I have friends who think me taking a pill once or twice a month for an anxiety attack is sinful. Usually people also refrain from saying things like that to me LOL I am so glad I can make you laugh:) Really we have found laughing helps so much and we probably laugh at inapproiate times but it helps:)
thanks for your kind words....I'd love to meet you too!!!!
I saw a preview for a new "reality show" and I thought OMG Yvonne would scream! It's called "L.A. Preachers" and they look like a bunch of rappers, all "blinged out". Just....appalling. (Fwiw I don't watch many reality shows, tho my favorite is The Little Couple, they have the sweetest family and just adopted a little boy from China!)
ReplyDeleteMy anxiety has gotten worse lately and I'm praying but I think God is nudging me to talk to my doc about it because it is getting too much.
I'm with you about therapy though....going to therapy isn't going to make my autoimmune diseases go away, and trying to get there (we only have 1 car) and $$ and so what's the point?
I'm glad you are able to handle things.
Always praying!