Photos

We have a library of photo albums, plastic bins filled with extra pictures, boxes under the bed filled with studio pictures, CD & DVDs of pictures, computers with pictures saved on them and thumb drives with even more pictures on them.  I love pictures but when I look back, even on happy times I feel very sad that that time has passed, never to be the same again. 

This being Thursday is TBT on FB and a childhood friend started it by posting a couple of pictures that I don't even remember....
 
 
At my friend's house probably calling some boy LOL

Speak to the hand cause I just got a perm do LOL



 Fun times at Wakulla Springs

 

 

 

 

College Friends

 

 

 

 

 

Me and my childhood friend and her crazy brother Photo bombing us!  I adored him:)

A rare picture of me and my biological siblings.  My two brothers are on the left, and my sister is the  little girl on the right side.  I'm blowing a balloon- it was my 2nd bday  The other boy is a "cousin" and the older girl is a neighborhood girl who helped out with me.  

Flower girl

Me and my roommate after college

 

6th grade class

 

Jon and his mom and their dog Molly

Jon and his dad

Jon in elementary

Jon's mom, Jon and his younger brother at St Augustine  

College age Jon

 

 

Old School- Sunday School 1960

 

My aunt was on the left side front row with the little head covering. 

 

 

So I love looking at these pictures but they make me sad too.  I think of the fun I had at my friend's house and laughing with her parents, now they are gone, the house we spent so much time in is sold, as is my old house.  Actually my old house has been torn down, we were neighbors...

My college years were so fun, but that's all over now, we're all grown and have had to face LIFE...all of us have some scars from Life now.....

The picture of me and my siblings....that's just such a sad story.  Our father & mother made terrible life choices that affected the four of us in many ways.  Now the gulf is too wide between us.....

Jon's parents have passed away ..... along with all the old ladies from that Sunday School class.  Ironically two people in my 6th grade class have also passed away....so sad

Over the past year I've become a huge Harry Potter fan.  I had never watched it or read the books when they came out because of "witchcraft". Then I happened onto one of the movies on TV and watched it for a bit and saw it was no more witchcraft than all those famous Christian sanctioned movies like "Lord of the Rings" or "Narnia".....anyhow..... when Harry looks at pictures of his parents and they are smiling and waving in them, not knowing what lies ahead.....that just hits me.  I think that's how I view pictures, that they are just a moment in time and the subjects don't know what may lay ahead for them. 

You never knew I was so melodramatic did you?  I hide it good most of the time. 

We have so many videos of mainly Steve when he was little, I can't watch them without crying.  But I love them, I'm just sad that I can't go back!

I'm very nostalgic.  All kinds of things take my memory back.... there's a certain color in the sky of brightest blue that takes me back to the fall back home, football time, cold weather coming, fires burning.....   There is a smell that was used to clean our dorms in college, it's probably full of chemicals, but every now and then I'll smell it in some commercial building....and I'm right back as a freshman in Bethany dorm.   There's a feel to the air when it's nippy cold that takes me back to Christmas time back home in north Florida.  The smell of hot sun on a pine tree.....that takes me right back home too....   Our property is ringed with pine trees and the other day, it was quite warm, I was outside and I smelled IT.....that took me home for an instant. 

The past is very dear to me, I hold onto some memories very close.  Often I look at a picture and just wish I could take myself back to that moment for a little while at least & be with the people in it!  But I can't....

When I was young, I had no big dreams for my future.  I was in some ways a sad child, not that I didn't have fun but not having my own family, and as I grew older, very little support, it was hard.  By the time I was in my middle teens, my dream was to get away on my own ASAP! 

We lived near a train track and in the summertime I slept in our front bedroom that had  8 windows in it.  We had huge azalea bushes planted outside and while azaleas don't have a strong smell when there are so many of them they have a pleasant smell, that smell reminds me of that bedroom.   We didn't have air conditioning so when the train would go by, it would always wake me up.  After reading so many Agatha Christie books I'd wonder where the train was going (in reality it was probably going or coming from the paper mill LOL) but in my mind I'd think about traveling away from my home town and pursuing an education and doing ministry.

Back then I looked forward to the future......now I tend to look more longingly at the past.....  Maybe that's because the past doesn't hold any surprises for me.  Who knows what the future might hold?  The last few months have held enough surprises for me to last a few years between mine & Jon's health scares. 

Maybe as you grow older, the past is dearer to you because you begin to lose people and then they only belong to your past, not to your future.....

Life is made up of memories....good and bad.  Memories are what connect us to each other.  Memories are the cornerstones of our lives. 

Four years ago right now, Jon, Steve, Sam and I were flying over Europe on our way to Kiev Ukraine to start the adoption of Sarah and Selah.   So much has changed for our family since that day, so much has changed for the precious friends we met in Ukraine since that day and so much has changed for the country of Ukraine since that day.   One of my friends was a huge supporter of our adoption and who met us when we arrived back in the states recently passed away.  Our facilatior in Ukraine is battling a serious health issue, we've had all kinds of things happen in the past 4 years that we never dreamed of back then that's for sure!  And the poor country of Ukraine has now been in civil war for two years and has suffered so much. 

Personally I am glad I can not see what lies ahead....I'd be paralyzed with fear! 

All I can say is I'm glad God walks with us through life.....

Thinking of Selah

 

4 years ago we got this picture of Selah Johannah.  It was just two days until we left to go meet and adopt her and Sarah.  We had just found out about Selah and committed to adding her to our family.  When I got this picture, I just though Selah was so beautiful. 

 

I miss the little girl she was....  She is stable and doing great according to her doctors.  We have no real issues to worry about with her.  She has the most wonderful nurses in the world and a perfect room/suite, all her needs are met.  She seems to seldom be displeased about anything.  Believe me if she doesn't like something, we know it!  While Selah doesn't smile, she certainly frowns very easily so we have no problem figuring out things she doesn't like.  We've gotten her the very best medical care and tried several things to help her.  But three plus years after the accident, she is no closer to coming back to us.  Thankfully she came back, more than what was expected.  We saw a few changes in the first year but I don't think we've really seen anything new for a long time.  She does focus at times on us, but she's done that since before she ever left the hospital.  She certainly responds to sound, light and physical touch.  She hates shots!  Every year when she gets her flu shot, she cries.  Since she has had the same nurses for over 3 years now, they can figure out quickly the things she needs/wants so in some ways she seems more with us, since we can figure out her needs pretty easily. 

 

I wish we could just turn back the hands of time ......I miss Selah.  I wonder how things would be if the accident had not happened.  We saw such amazing emotional growth with her in just the three months we had her before the accident.  She was responding to our love and learning things so quickly.  Selah was intellectually disabled and would have never lived on her own, but she went from  being like a baby mentally to a toddler in just a few weeks.  She knew what some words meant.  If I asked her if she wanted to eat, she'd rush to the table.  If I said let's go play outside, she would go to the door.  We couldn't believe how fast she was picking up things.  She loved her new clothes (and both girls had a closet full!)  She liked for me to dress her and she liked to look in the mirror at herself.  She was like dressing a baby doll every day:)  I loved dressing both girls but since Selah could see, it was a treat to watch her respond to being cared for with love. 

 

I'm glad I had those months with her.  I'm glad we still have her, and we can give her all the love and care she deserves.  I'm forever thankful for our new home and her room/suite-I am so glad she has such a wonderful room where everything is easy for her and her nurses.  Whenever a new medical person comes to our house for some reason, they all are amazed by her room.  It's like a hospital room as far as everything is there in case she needs it but it's a little girl's room all the way.  Oh and boy does she have a closet full of clothes now!  Her nurses all love on her and buy her things.  Her closet is the same size as mine & Jon's and she has almost as much clothes as the two of us do!  No kidding!  I used to pick out her clothes but her nurses enjoy dressing her and making her pretty every day.  Her hair is always done and she is always dressed so nicely.  It's a comfort to have her given such wonderful 24 hour a day care.  They are committed to making her life as easy as possible.  When I say we are blessed by these ladies, I'm not kidding, they are amazing in so many ways but it's a blessing to know they love her.  It took us a few months to get a team in place and I'll be honest I have no idea how many nurses I fired along the way- I'd say more than 10 at least!  But if I had any qualms about the person, they had to go.  I can't watch her/them 24 hours a day and I had to have people in there that I had total faith in.  I have  total faith in our nurses.  If we have to be out of town or if something is going on (like Jon having a heart attack) I don't have one worry about Selah, because I know she is taken care of.  We are blessed!

 

The nurses have her on a schedule and she does great with the schedule.  She's never had a bed sore or any type of problem like that.  She gets a bath, has her hair done and gets up in her wheelchair.  Then after an hour, she goes on the stander, then back to bed for awhile.  Some days she has a therapist that comes in and works with her for an hour.  Then it's time to go back to her chair, then the stander and then back to bed....   Some days she goes outside, even on her stander that rolls out the door or in her wheelchair.  She stays busy, never doing the same thing for too long.  She has the TV

 

And she sure watches it.  We've found all kinds of cute little baby/children programs on YouTube for her.  There are a few I find memorizing :)   We all work together -we all try and put ourselves into her situation and how we would feel.  So we try to do everything we can think of to meet her needs.

Thank you all for your prayers for Selah over the years, please continue to pray for her, we'd love to see more good changes.  But we are also grateful for her being stable, no sickness for over three years if we can get through April!  Doctors ( at regular appointments with various specialists) tell me all the time that kids "like her" don't stay well and have so many issues but Selah has not had any of those things.  I truly believe that is because of her great nursing care.  I'm so grateful that she is not in pain or has to deal with a lot of sicknesses. 

I still grieve and feel sadness about the accident-I don't think that will ever go away.  But I do think ahead to heaven and knowing that there is coming a day when she (and the rest of us) will be completely healed.  I'm thankful for that eternal hope!

Easter 2016

Well .....guess who preached our Easter Service?  Jon of course!  Only 3 weeks after a heart attack and open heart surgery!  I was not sure it was the best idea but he did great and it didn't wear him out like I was afraid it would. 

 

 Before church....we almost fill a pew

There he goes....

 

 

Back where he belongs :)

 

 

Daddy and Sam

 

 

 

The whole gang

 

 

 

And the cutest couple in the world!~

 

 

 

 We really like Steve's girlfriend. She's a great girl!

 

 

 

 So this Easter wasn't filled with decorating the church or doing an egg hunt....it was different but Easter is really probably my favorite Holy day.  I have more memories of Easter as a child, even the songs we sang than I do of Christmas.  This year we sang some of the old timeless hymns and it reminded me of family and friends who are no longer with us but who I've celebrated Easter with in years past.  You know every religion has holy days, days commemorating the birth of its leader.... Christians have a holiday remembering Christ's death, burial and RESURRECTION!  

 

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This picture of Sarah is probably one of my absolute favorites ever.....  I'm going to put it on a canvas.

 

 

 

 

 

Last week I was able to take Sam for a cleaning and he did so good.  He giggled the whole time and charmed the office.  Sam has some serious teeth issues- his bottom teeth are coming in sideways!  We've seen a few specialists and no one is quite sure how to proceed.  No one thinks braces will work for him since he would be uncomfortable & he bites his fingers/wrists at times.  Right now we are having one more appointment- but are looking at removing a few teeth to see if that will help.   Sam has great teeth-no cavities but he's had some odd issues.  He didn't get any teeth till he was about 2 years old.  Then he didn't lose any baby teeth until he was about 10.  He still has most of his baby teeth and the x-rays seem to indicate it will be years before he will lose all the baby ones.   Every dentist is perplexed by how his teeth have grown so slowly.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And from the same day

Sam and his much loved horse!

 

I hope my Winter Haven Friend who sent this to them sees this picture.  Sam loves this horse- Horse- it is always beside him.  If he is playing with another toy, he still has it out beside him.  I know it was probably meant for Sarah but Sam loves Horse!

 

 

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hope you are having a Happy Easter!  Remember Christ is risen!  Our Hope!

Out to the Woods

Jon's continuing to improve daily.  I don't want anyone to think it's been "a walk in the park" but he's doing really good.  Up till a couple of days ago I've been very calm about everything.....I think now it's all catching up with me.  I find myself checking on him more, feeling anxious.  He doesn't have any doctor appointments until April, I'll be glad to sit down with the surgeon and with his NEW local cardiologist.  Of course I'll really be glad when we meet with the heart specialists in June up in the Cleveland Clinic.  He is up to 40 minutes a day on our exercise bike-but no hills yet.  Sunday we were able to go to the park and take a short walk.  Jon was happy to be back in his woods!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is this gorgeous or what?

 

 

 

Hillsborough River State Park, one of the prettiest places on earth and one of my favorite places! 

 

my other fav place got a new summer do:)

 

 

 

 

So we have been working on a diet.  As I've written about before, we try to be as organic as possible and as low fat as possible.  We took a month last year where we went Vegan....it was ROUGH!   Jon was told that the Mediterranean diet was recommended for people with known heart issues.  Well Jon has generally eaten a stricter diet than the Mediterranean diet for years now.  We have tried following the book below but so soon after surgery, it's made Jon feel weak not eating any meat.  So we're kinda making our own diet as we go.  Generally his breakfast is one from the book and sometimes lunch but at least one meal a day has some meat or eggs in it.  Yesterday I made spaghetti with lean ground chicken- a total serving with whole wheat pasta, sauce and chicken was only 4 grams of fat.  The hardest thing for us is cutting out oils-even olive oils are not recommended for this diet.  We are cutting way down, but have not been able to cut oils out completely.  It's just frustrating to know how hard we have tried over the years but to still have heart disease show it's ugly head!   BUT I'm glad we've been careful, things could have been a lot worse. 

 

 

 

 

Anyhow these are good books if you get a chance to read them.  Reading them made a believer out of me, but it's hard putting my faith into action LOL

 

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I just have to brag on my son, he was awarded a $1000 a semester scholarship for next year:)  He had several scholarships but this one made him really happy as it was based on his work with the college's media production team.  He will be working some over the summer on their radio program.  He's excited about his future in Broadcasting. 

 

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My heart is sad for the people affected by the bombing in Belgium today.  Unnecessary death and destruction....life is hard enough without having people plan on killing innocents.....I hope and pray that somehow this can be fought.  The civilized world needs to take a stand and say this is enough!!!!!

 

Cute Videos! Sam- Sarah and Selah too

 

 

Sarah taking 3 steps!

 

 

 

 Outside play

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sam loves Sam!

 

 

 

 

Sam and his lullaby music

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Selah on her stander 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sam feeding himself!

 

 

Hope you enjoy these videos.  I have a ton more now that I know how to load them on to the blog:)  These are within the past month. 

Another Quick Update

Jon is doing good.  He's not having any issues and is getting stronger by the day.  I can not believe it has been two weeks since his heart attack and surgery!  We are having a good time just hanging out together with nothing to do:)  Usually if he had time off, there were chores to do, people to visit for the church, obligations....now it's just him, me and the little ones.  We spend a lot of time of the porch!

He can't lift or drive or even open a jar (per his doctor) so I do stay a bit busy with the little ones.  He has started feeding one child, while I feed the other.  That's a huge help!  Some days it's the afternoon before I get a shower, first have to get the kids breakfast, clothes changes, eye drops, diapers, then it's lunch time.... after lunch is our calmest time. 

I've scheduled him to see a doctor at the Cleveland Clinic this summer.  First we will go to Rochester for Sam's eye appointment -then scoot over to Cleveland Ohio to see a specialist.  Jon and Steve will be seeing a prevention doctor and probably having a DNA test to see if they have something going on in the DNA- we know this is genetic but is it actually a abnormality in his DNA?   I'm going to see a woman's heart specialist since we will be there anyhow as a preventive measure.  We also will be going to a heart seminar. 

So that's our fun family vacation- only Shad and Sarah are spared a doctor visit LOL

Jon & I are planning on going on a short cruise in August.  I've looked on line and it's all so confusing to me!  Any advice would be nice!  We'd like to go on a short cruise to the Bahamas- on a boat that does not have an open bar!!!!!!!  Not wanting to deal with craziness if we can avoid it-just a nice mild relaxing cruise.......

Sarah is starting to take 2-4 steps on her own.  This is new and I have great videos.  I'm determined to get our son to teach me how to put them on here this weekend:)  Anyhow she is really making big strides.  She had regressed due to losing all her sight last year.  Her therapist and we were beginning to think she would not walk.....but she seems to be proving us wrong.  If she continues, she will be at least walking from chair to chair in the house.  She's so proud of herself.  She's an amazing kid!

We are being spoiled by our church and friends.  One of my church friends organized a supper for us nightly.  It's been great and we are going to hate it when it's over LOL!  Everyone has been so kind and caring to our family as we've gone through and are now recovering from this surgery!  I've felt like burdens have just been lifted from our shoulders.  It's amazing what a visit and a supper can do for your spirits!   We sure appreciate our friends:)

Well I got the babies in bed, Shad is in the shower....and I'm ready to crash!

Good night everyone!

Home

Quick Jon update!

Jon came home Thursday and is doing great.  Today was his best day yet, he's almost back to normal.  I told him tomorrow might not be as good, sometimes that is how it goes. 

I was very nervous to bring him home.  His oldest brother came and spent the night with us and that helped me a lot!  Then Steve came home from college on Friday and I've had his help this weekend.  My nervousness was more thinking HOW was I going to take care of Sam and Sarah and Jon!  The first few hours home, I thought we'd made a BIG mistake coming home.  Then when my brother in law came, he brought the "electric" chair (motorized chair) that my father in law had used.  Jon basically slept in it that night and has spent a lot of his time in it as he can adjust it however he wants it to go.  Before the chair, Jon couldn't get comfortable.  Today he walked around the property twice and went out on the porch some.  I had to pick up some things at the health food store and he rode with me over there and waited in the car just to get out of the house. 

We've just had our socks blessed off by friends bringing in food and all kinds of goodies.  The kids are thrilled with the food LOL! 

In all of life's challenges, we can still see the grace of God.  There are lots of things that Jon doesn't really remember that happened from the time he left the house until a day or so later in the ICU.  He heard my side of things, things that weren't told to him at the time and he was able to piece together other things.  This has been a huge thing to go through and I'm not sure we have yet wrapped our minds around it.  It was shocking!

Jon's doctor confirmed that he did have a heart attack, but because he got to the hospital, they were able to give him drugs and there was no heart damage.  It's just amazing with the amount of blockage he had that he lived to get to the hospital and that there is no heart damage. 

PLEASE if you ever suspect heart issues- go to the hospital.  Better to have wasted your time and money and be wrong than to sit at home and die!  This past few weeks I know two people who died from heart attacks, one younger and one older than Jon.   I know there are not always symptoms but if you suspect something....get it checked out!

 

 

 

So tomorrow I'm speaking at our church.  We have a missionary couple coming but I'll be sharing after them.  I really feel that our church needs to hear what is on my heart.  I'll share it on here after tomorrow.  For YEARS I've had folks tell me that they'd skip their own church service ( and some of them were pastors) if I ever spoke.....LOL  now they just want a video. 

 

 

 

Thank you all for your messages and prayers.  I truly appreciate them and you!