Thursday, March 31, 2016


We have a library of photo albums, plastic bins filled with extra pictures, boxes under the bed filled with studio pictures, CD & DVDs of pictures, computers with pictures saved on them and thumb drives with even more pictures on them.  I love pictures but when I look back, even on happy times I feel very sad that that time has passed, never to be the same again. 

This being Thursday is TBT on FB and a childhood friend started it by posting a couple of pictures that I don't even remember....
At my friend's house probably calling some boy LOL

Speak to the hand cause I just got a perm do LOL

 Fun times at Wakulla Springs
College Friends



Me and my childhood friend and her crazy brother Photo bombing us!  I adored him:)

A rare picture of me and my biological siblings.  My two brothers are on the left, and my sister is the  little girl on the right side.  I'm blowing a balloon- it was my 2nd bday  The other boy is a "cousin" and the older girl is a neighborhood girl who helped out with me.  

Flower girl

Me and my roommate after college
6th grade class

Jon and his mom and their dog Molly

Jon and his dad

Jon in elementary

Jon's mom, Jon and his younger brother at St Augustine  

College age Jon

Old School- Sunday School 1960
My aunt was on the left side front row with the little head covering. 


So I love looking at these pictures but they make me sad too.  I think of the fun I had at my friend's house and laughing with her parents, now they are gone, the house we spent so much time in is sold, as is my old house.  Actually my old house has been torn down, we were neighbors...

My college years were so fun, but that's all over now, we're all grown and have had to face LIFE...all of us have some scars from Life now.....

The picture of me and my siblings....that's just such a sad story.  Our father & mother made terrible life choices that affected the four of us in many ways.  Now the gulf is too wide between us.....

Jon's parents have passed away ..... along with all the old ladies from that Sunday School class.  Ironically two people in my 6th grade class have also passed sad

Over the past year I've become a huge Harry Potter fan.  I had never watched it or read the books when they came out because of "witchcraft". Then I happened onto one of the movies on TV and watched it for a bit and saw it was no more witchcraft than all those famous Christian sanctioned movies like "Lord of the Rings" or "Narnia".....anyhow..... when Harry looks at pictures of his parents and they are smiling and waving in them, not knowing what lies ahead.....that just hits me.  I think that's how I view pictures, that they are just a moment in time and the subjects don't know what may lay ahead for them. 

You never knew I was so melodramatic did you?  I hide it good most of the time. 

We have so many videos of mainly Steve when he was little, I can't watch them without crying.  But I love them, I'm just sad that I can't go back!

I'm very nostalgic.  All kinds of things take my memory back.... there's a certain color in the sky of brightest blue that takes me back to the fall back home, football time, cold weather coming, fires burning.....   There is a smell that was used to clean our dorms in college, it's probably full of chemicals, but every now and then I'll smell it in some commercial building....and I'm right back as a freshman in Bethany dorm.   There's a feel to the air when it's nippy cold that takes me back to Christmas time back home in north Florida.  The smell of hot sun on a pine tree.....that takes me right back home too....   Our property is ringed with pine trees and the other day, it was quite warm, I was outside and I smelled IT.....that took me home for an instant. 

The past is very dear to me, I hold onto some memories very close.  Often I look at a picture and just wish I could take myself back to that moment for a little while at least & be with the people in it!  But I can't....

When I was young, I had no big dreams for my future.  I was in some ways a sad child, not that I didn't have fun but not having my own family, and as I grew older, very little support, it was hard.  By the time I was in my middle teens, my dream was to get away on my own ASAP! 

We lived near a train track and in the summertime I slept in our front bedroom that had  8 windows in it.  We had huge azalea bushes planted outside and while azaleas don't have a strong smell when there are so many of them they have a pleasant smell, that smell reminds me of that bedroom.   We didn't have air conditioning so when the train would go by, it would always wake me up.  After reading so many Agatha Christie books I'd wonder where the train was going (in reality it was probably going or coming from the paper mill LOL) but in my mind I'd think about traveling away from my home town and pursuing an education and doing ministry.

Back then I looked forward to the I tend to look more longingly at the past.....  Maybe that's because the past doesn't hold any surprises for me.  Who knows what the future might hold?  The last few months have held enough surprises for me to last a few years between mine & Jon's health scares. 

Maybe as you grow older, the past is dearer to you because you begin to lose people and then they only belong to your past, not to your future.....

Life is made up of memories....good and bad.  Memories are what connect us to each other.  Memories are the cornerstones of our lives. 

Four years ago right now, Jon, Steve, Sam and I were flying over Europe on our way to Kiev Ukraine to start the adoption of Sarah and Selah.   So much has changed for our family since that day, so much has changed for the precious friends we met in Ukraine since that day and so much has changed for the country of Ukraine since that day.   One of my friends was a huge supporter of our adoption and who met us when we arrived back in the states recently passed away.  Our facilatior in Ukraine is battling a serious health issue, we've had all kinds of things happen in the past 4 years that we never dreamed of back then that's for sure!  And the poor country of Ukraine has now been in civil war for two years and has suffered so much. 

Personally I am glad I can not see what lies ahead....I'd be paralyzed with fear! 

All I can say is I'm glad God walks with us through life.....

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