HOPE

Church, Red Robin's for lunch and now laundry for me, nap for little ones and Jon is at the hospital with Selah.  She is up in her car seat and Jon says now all afternoon, when she looks with her eyes, she turns her head every time!   She is such a fighter!  Her having this much head control is new, just a few days ago she started moving her head and now we are getting used to it:)   So thankful!!!

Hoping to have all the details done soon so she can start the study.  I stalked the Internet last night and found out alot of good stuff.  This study is amazing!  I can't believe it is not used more!!!  There have been 7 people treated with the massive amounts of fish oil, all have come out of  their comas with varying motor skills issues.  The one who had a brain injury that is more akin to Selah's (the miner) he seemed to have no lasting problems!   Today Jon talked with the wonderful doctor who is working on the study at Strong's.  She is working to get the study pushed through and thinks Selah will start the fish oil by next Monday.  It usually takes about 3 MONTHS to set up a study and they are setting up a brand new (to the hospital) study in just 2 WEEKS!  That is amazing!  Have I said how much I like Strong's Hospital before???   We will be having a "tean meeting" on Tuesday at 2 pm.   This will be a much happier team meeting than some we have had!  Some were rough, to say the least.  With this meeting, I am looking forward to it!

You know that old saying "the harder the fight, the sweeter the victory!"  it's so so true!  We prayed & hoped for recovery from the beginning and would have been thrilled with it BUT having to walk out our faith through the darkest of days has strenghten us.  It makes these little victories mean so much to us.  As I've said many times, God does not bring bad things on us, we live in a fallen world but He can be there with us through the heartache.  Nothing is sweeter than God's presence in the darkness!  Nothing!! 

We still don't know what is going to happen but we do have hope that Selah will recover some more!  We had been told a few weeks ago (before much had changed) that we could expect a little recovery in the next 6 months to a year but only a very  little brain stem recovery was expected.   I asked one of the staff last week if what we were seeing was the "very little recovery" and that staff said NO Selah was having consistent daily recovery of skills, that was building step on step!  It's happening faster than what would have been expected:)  You know I clutched that close to my heart!!!!!

There is so much thankfulness in my heart, you just don't know...we still don't know what the final outcome will be nor how everything will work out logistically for us to get home...but we know that God is on the throne and in control.  He has worked many miracles for our family in the past year....soon (Nov 6th) will be the anniversary of me "refinding" Sarah's picture and staying up all night...and then us beginning her adoption.  God has had complete control in our lives over the course of this year.  We've felt like clay in His hands...  We had no idea what was ahead but with each step, God was with us! 

I want to thank our home church Grace Church for supporting us emotionally and spiritually through this year!  Everyone got involved in our adoption, whether they gave, came to the baby shower, fed our animals, took care of the church grounds/church while we were gone....and NOW....we have nothing but support, the church is thriving, (we are a small church but a faithful one)   we've had friends fill in for us and we are thrilled to hear all the good reports.  Not one person has complained or whined about us being gone....thank you all so much!  God will bless you for having a heart for orphans and former orphans and for your pastor!!!  We love you all!!!!!

Today is 12 weeks since we arrived in Rochester....12 weeks of trusting God and leaning on Him in a way I've never understood before.   I can say God is Good!!!!    But I want you to know, EVEN IF things had not improved, God would still be good!!!!   I can promise you I had very little hope of Selah's recovery in the beginning.  I didn't go around claiming her healing....oh I prayed....but I didn't try and say I just knew God was going to heal her and that the doctor's were wrong.   I wanted her healed (and still want it to continue) but looking at her still little bod, day after day, was enough to make me wonder if the Emergency Room Doctors had tried too hard in bringing her back!   But I held on to God, NOT God's promises, but GOD Himself!   I determined I would not charge God foolishly, and I would not put Him to shame.  Not that I thought that would be some key to bring her back.  I knew that Life & Death is in God's hands and I had no control over that.   But I determined for my sake, my husband's sake, my family's sake, my church's sake and for the witness I would or would not be that I was just going to lean on Him!  I've gone through another valley (that I'll be blogging about soon) where I did charge God foolishly and hardened my heart....I did NOT want to repeat that valley and the consequences of that valley!

Over the years, I've read many different Caring bridges pages, of people we met over the years, friends of friends, etc... Unfortunately many of the children & adults I have followed have passed away.  Honestly I'm absolutely am not reading anymore of them but I'm still following a few that I've known for years.  The posts have been extreme, from families claiming healing and being devastated when their loved one passed, or  families who had gotten very bitter and a very few that really inspired my faith in God.   One that I am reading right now, is so sad and bitter.  I am not judging anyone, I've certainly been very bitter in my life before so I can't point fingers or say someone is a bad person....but it is sad.  Why do we humans, carry on with our lives doing our own thing BUT when tragedy hits, all of a sudden it is God's fault???  We don't thank him for all the easy years...but boy do we lash out when life gets hard.  Instead we should throw ourselves on God!  What a different experience I've had with Sam's entire life and Selah's accident, than I had with the twins. 

Can I just ask you, read the BIBLE, see that God doesn't promise us a rose garden nor a perfect life.   Read and understand WHY sin/death entered into the world.  God didn't cause it, man caused it.   But God is the One who walks with us through the valley!  Isn't that amazing that we can serve a God who will be with us through the hard times?  What a wonderful God we serve!