Looking at Selah's life story prior to August 15th, it seemed to have been a Cinderella story. A little girl hidden away in an Easter European adult mental institution, a family who was miraculously came and rescued her....a beautiful story....then a horrible accident....Is this is?
According to all medical & scientific knowledge, this is IT. Selah is at a place where she can't be helped. She can be physically cared for but nothing will change. Contrary to most people's opinions doctors do not enjoy giving families bad news. I believe our doctors would be thrilled to be able to give us hope but they have no medical hope to give us.
But that is not where our hope lies..... THIS is where our hope lies....
My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.
When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.
His oath, His covenant, His blood
Support me in the whelming flood;
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay
When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh, may I then in Him be found;
Dressed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.
Do I know how this story will end on this earth? No, I do not know for sure. God may heal her or He may not. Many people think they are encouraging me by claiming that she will be healed. It doesn't really encourage me. I don't claim to know the future. I wish I knew that God was going to heal her but I don't have that complete assurance. IF God spoke to my heart, I would have no problem believing that & stating it but He hasn't told me. He has told me not to be afraid of what my family was going to go through....I believe that was a real word from the Lord. If we look at life, we see most people do not get healings...that is why the word Miracle does not mean an everyday occurrence,,,, I've thought and studied alot about healing over the past almost decade of having a disabled son. Today I'm not going to get all deep and theological (although that post is coming) but I will say I believe God can heal, however I believe most of the time, we have to walk through a journey on this earth that includes suffering. Unfortunately in this world, people are not taught good theology and pastors/preachers would rather preach an unrealistic gospel, it tends to fill churches and give people something to shout about. Then when a person is faced with the reality of life, they feel cheated by God. Many turn away from God in anger that He was not their "sugar daddy". Others live in guilt as if they were not good enough Christians to get their prayers answered. Others live in unrepentant sin while they "claim the promises of God" Many preachers promise things that God nor the bible ever promised. It sounds so wonderful....a heaven on earth. But if that were the case, would our hearts ever long for heaven?Refrain:
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.
But I ask God for Selah to be healed. Maybe that is an oxymoron to you but I have a relationship with God where I can pour my heart out to Him. My heart's desire is to have a wonderful Cinderella story and have Selah restored completely to us, But at the same time, I can also trust God in the outcome. I've not always been at this place in life, believe me! But I've learned to rest in Him.
But this one thing I do know...ONE day Selah will be healed and whole. Oh how I want it to be today....BUT there will be a day! On that day all our stories will have that fairytale ending. My hope of heaven/eternity is not some "pie in the sky" hope. Based on scripture, I know that heaven is real. I don't need a near death experience to tell me so. Taking the bible in context, it is clear that there will be a restoration of all things. We live in a fallen world right now. One day that will change.
So I cling to that eternal HOPE for Selah and for all of us. There are some things that I feel God has dropped into my heart, that I keep close & ponder, not quite sure what it all may mean but I know that I'm going to trust God.
Through this walk since we started the adoption, it has been all God. He has been our provider in so many ways. It's been a sweet walk....even now there is a sweet presence of God. I've never gone through something and felt the presence of God like I have during this time. Often we can look back and the memories of a trial is wrapped in God's presence that you sense looking back on the situation, But maybe during the trial, you may have not felt the daily presence of God, that has been my experience more than once before....but not this time. We've been wrapped in God's presence since the first moments....
When you have nothing BUT GOD, you find God is more than enough.....that is ALL we have right now but it is enough! Sometimes I have hated all the little Christan cliches' but this is true.
So one day this story will have a happy ending...I don't know if it will be in 5 days, 5 weeks, 5 months or 50 years...but it is coming.....In the meanwhile please please pray for our Selah!!!!
AMEN! I think too that sometimes we get caught up in what God can do for us, when He has already DONE IT ALL!!!! I want healing for my son as well, but I know it is in HIS HANDS the ONE who LOVES HIM AND MYSELF MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE ON THIS EARTH!!! Resting in that. Knowing that HE is miraculous.
ReplyDeleteI know he saved me when I was 8 of cancer that weighed 5 pounds in my thin body (back then). I had a total hysterectomy, a cancer that no one had ever seen before, and no idea how everything would turn out, but GOD!
The story is God's.....and you sister GET THAT!
Praying with you!
ReplyDeleteThe analogy I hear--and cling to--is that our life is a tapestry but we can only see the side with all the knotted threads, and seemingly no meaning or pattern. It is only when we are on The Other Side that we can see the beautiful picture that was made from all the chaos.
ReplyDeleteSo many things in my day make me think of you and Selah, and how your faith helps you hang on. It helps me. I'm not very good. I'm not very strong. But I do pray for you and Selah and your family every day, every night.
She is always your jewel, and she is always in God's loving hands.
Love to you all xoxo
I love that poem...The Weaver...your statement reminds me of that. Thanks for alll your kind comments and prayers!!!
Deletestill praying!!
ReplyDeleteMany MANY years ago, I was involved in a denomination that was teaching health= godliness.... suffering is because of sinfulness.
ReplyDeleteTHEN... our son was born. He was premature.... and then the unthinkable happened. He had a MASSIVE brain hemhorrage. It was on the entire left side of the brain. The part that tells you to think.
He was declared brain dead TWICE. I called our pastor because our theology did not fit. He didn't call us back...I felt ABANDONED.
Our son was taken off of life support and we rocked him, being told his death was imminent. He kept breathing. They finally put him back on oxygen after 24 hours and then called him a devastated baby. He was limp, his eyes rolled back into his head, he had seizures, he didn't suck.... it seemed nobody was home.
My prayer at that time was "Lord, please heal him, but if you don't can you take him? Or please let him know who he worships...let him know he is here....But if you choose to teach me through all of this, then help me to learn."
I remember that prayer like it was yesterday.
After our son came home, (I was caring for him and a 2 year old. I was 22 at the time) after a few weeks, I went into his room and said, "Good Morning!" He looked at me for the first time and smiled!
I was in shock. After that, he began to act normally. I carefully taught him to suck on a bottle and didn't realize the significance of what was going on. I took him to his monthly appt. and the doctor nearly fell over in shock. With tears he said, "I can't believe this!"
Our son was NOT fully healed! He still had cerebral palsy. He still had seizures and he still had brain damage, but he was acting quite normally!
He was considered profoundly retarded... no longer brain dead.
His IQ tested out at about 65. Then....68..... in K.
And then.... he seemed to level out. We decided to home educate our boys...by then we had 4 of them.
And guess what? He learned... and he was diligent.
TODAY.... He is a PUBLIC SCHOOL TEACHER! Yes, he went on to college and got a teaching degree. Was it hard? OH YES~!!! But he did it!~~~
Needless to say, the Lord has taught me much over the years, and this experience was a preparation for the ones I have right now!
We have 4 little girls who all came from very difficult circumstances and special needs orphanages or dying rooms. We had no idea what the Lord was preparing us for, but it all makes sense NOW that I am old. :)
God Bless you Yuvonne! There IS a purpose behind all this. The most important lesson of all....TRUST in our LOVING and PERFECT Heavenly FATHER who knows ALL THINGS and will bring GOOD out of this according to HIS will! :)
Mike and Christie's story in your comment section of this post is a perfect example of how our Wonderful God works in the lives of His children. He writes the story...we participate in it....He cares so much for each of us and we definitely are fearfully and wonderfully made....He is so faithful in caring for us. All glory and honor belong to Him...
ReplyDeleteI continue to lift Selah and all your family to the Throne of Grace.
Love from NC
Yvonne,
ReplyDeletei don't know if you have heard this song, but, it reminds me of you every time i hear it. It is called "There will be a day", by Jeremy Camp
"I try to hold on to this world with everything I have
But I feel the weight of what it brings, and the hurt that tries to grab
The many trials that seem to never end, His word declares this truth
That we will enter in this rest with wonders anew
But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings
That there will be a place with no more suffering
There will be a day with no more tears
No more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place
Will be no more, we'll see Jesus face to face
But until that day, we'll hold on to you always
I know the journey seems so long
You feel you?re walking on your own
But there has never been a step
Where you?ve walked out all alone
Troubled soul don?t lose your heart
Cause joy and peace he brings
And the beauty that?s in store
Outweighs the hurt of life?s sting
But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings
[- From :http://www.elyrics.net/read/j/jeremy-camp-lyrics/there-will-be-a-day-lyrics.html -]
That there will be a place with no more suffering
There will be a day with no more tears
No more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place
Will be no more, we'll see Jesus face to face
But until that day, we'll hold on to you always
I can?t wait until that day where the very one
I?ve lived for always will wipe away the sorrow that I?ve faced
To touch the scars that rescued me from a life of shame and misery
O, this is why, this is why I sing
There will be a day with no more tears
No more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place
Will be no more, we'll see Jesus face to face
There will be a day with no more tears
No more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place
Will be no more, we'll see Jesus face to face
There will be a day he will wipe away the tears
He will wipe away the tears
He will wipe away the tears
There will be a day"
Until that day, we are praying for Selah!
Blessings,
Alycia
My heart just breaks for you guys. I am fighting tears as I write. I feel so many connections with your family. We also adopted 2 kiddos from Ukraine -- our sons both have Down syndrome and were adopted through Reece's Rainbow. I grew up in a minister's family in rural southern Idaho. I feel bad that I haven't been following your story faithfully and I'm sorry to say I haven't been praying faithfully for you. With God's help I will do better.
ReplyDeleteKeep holding on to Jesus. "I don't know about tomorrow . . . but I know who holds my hand."
Joy McClain
Our Sunday service was from Luke 18 (I think). I've just brought home my Brigita from RR (still in the adoption process though) and she needed a diaper change and food so I missed the service. So the next morning I read the passage myself. It is the parable of the woman that keeps going to the judge to ask for justice. The parable is to remind us to continue to pray and bring our requests before God. I think this is applicable here. It is not an oxymoron to ask for healing for Selah. I will continue to ask for healing for her too, as I'm sure many have, and for God to always let his presence be felt by you and your family.
ReplyDelete