Thursday, May 28, 2015


Yesterday I got an email from a man writing a book about  euthanasia from a Christian viewpoint.  He wants to use Selah's story in his book.  We read his email and felt good about it.  Today I talked to him on the phone for awhile and told him more details of our story, somethings that I didn't share at the time.  It brought back plenty of emotions.  When you go through a rough time, you just have to keep on plowing through it.  I didn't take the time to examine all my feelings at the time because everything was so absolutely horrible, the accident, the prognosis, being so far from home, loss of dreams etc....  Looking back I can really appreciate much more fully how good God really was to us through that time. 

This is what I wrote on FB
So I just spent 30 minutes talking to the author who is going to include Selah's story in his book. As I talked about the accident and the decisions we made to honor and care for Selah, I was reminded of my emotions during that awful time. In my mind I was freaking out wondering HOW we were going to be able to take care of a daughter in a coma at home, along with our other four children. I remember asking God HOW could we do this and quite honestly in my flesh NOT wanting do it although I knew I was going to do the right thing. All I can say is we've been home almost THREE years with Selah and God has been faithful to help us every single step of the way! We may never see great miracles happen or millions come to our church but we've been given such a miracle of really knowing that God walks with us through the absolute deepest darkest valleys of our lives. That knowledge is worth more to me than gold or silver. I have learned to TRUST Jesus in a way that I had no earthly idea of before this accident. The way I've seen the hand of God in the last few years is more precious than anything else. I'm so thankful that we have a God who is faithful to His promises and who is a very present Help in time of need. He is a Rock like no other. No matter what is ahead in life, I know God is faithful and He is a good God.

Our situation was so very public at that time, I remember praying and asking God to give me the strength not to fail him in front of a watching world.  My flesh, my emotions all were so weak and raw.  But God was so very faithful to me and to us. 

I can promise you if you turn to God during your darkest night, He will be faithful to you.  He might not deliver you completely from your problems but He will give you the Help and Strength you need.  I know because He did it for me and if He'll do it for me, He'll do it for you too!  I'm no special person and no spiritual giant LOL -far from that!  But God is bigger than me or my shortcomings and He is bigger than the situation. 

For the rest of my life, I will never doubt that there is a God.  I've walked through a deep dark valley and knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that He was and still is walking with me.  It's precious, a jewel, something I never had before to this degree. 

People can say what they want, but I KNOW that God is faithful and true.  No one will ever convince me otherwise!  Life may not be the way I wanted it to be, but that doesn't diminish  who God is- He is still God and He is still on the throne! 

If you don't know God, pray, ask Him to forgive you and then walk with Him.  He will walk with you.  I could tell you a million steps of the "right Christian thing to do" but God can speak to your heart better than I can IF you ask with an open heart and open bible.  Find a church that teaches the word of God and live for Him.  You will not miss out on anything this world has to offer and it doesn't really offer much!

It's been a life long battle to learn to trust God, but I now have a peace in that area.  There is no other God like our God, no one else to trust and no where else to go.    I hope each of you will have that peace in your heart too. 

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