Once again Selah's blood pressure meds have been increased, she has a stronger patch and the BP is almost normal! Finally!!!!! Hope this will maintain, the last 24 hours have been the best readings she has had since the accident.
We still don't know for sure when we will be going home, I don't think the details have all been worked out but we still think it will be next week.
Please keep praying for Selah! Tonight driving back and to when I was alone, I just plead with God for her. I reminded Him how very thankful and grateful I had been for my life & how I asked NOTHING but that He keep us healthy and all together. I reminded Him that I didn't ask for anything else. What came back to my mind was the word that was given to me by the German "tourist" (angel???) at the Brandon mall...."Something BIG is coming for your family, Something is ahead of you soon and God doesn't want you to be afraid, many will see...." I know that was a word from the Lord to me. and that just floors me and actually makes me tremble that the God of the Universe would take the time to send me a message and it gives me courage to go on. I wasn't promised a miracle but I was given assurance that I didn't have to be afraid. Can you believe that God took the time to send me that message? That blows my mind. I am soooooo glad I wrote about it on FB and was able to go back and read what I had written so I know I didn't imagine it or was remembering it wrong! I did laugh a little about it at the time and thought it meant we'd adopt the other three children that we grew attached to while at the Ukraine institution our girls were at....everyone told me to go buy a lottery ticket (the lottery was really big around then) we kinda laughed about it but I knew in my heart that the lady was not a looney toon... I sensed something when she spoke, I so wish I'd paid more attention to what she said, I have such a bad memory for details. But maybe that was just what I was supposed to remember....God knew what was ahead, I don't have to be afraid and many will see.... I have to constantly remind myself NOT to be afraid.... In my flesh, I'm afraid of the future, scared witless, to be honest! But my spirit is not afraid...I'm not claiming that God is going to heal her, I do not know but I KNOW He will be with us.
The joy of serving God and walking through tough times or times when I've had to really hang on to God's hand, is that when a new trial comes, you know that God has been with you before and He will do it again! This year 2012 has been an amazing year for our family. We have seen and experienced God's hand like no other time in our life. We have learned to trust deeper and more confidently. We have seen some WILD answers to prayers and have even been blessed above what we have even asked for or thought about., during our adoption. We had miracles in Ukraine as far as paperwork/court process/facilitator/lodgings/favor.... We had the miracle of two little girls who were older, delayed and instiutionzed come into our family with NO issues whatsoever! We had crazy miracles of provision... Then the accident.....and even then there were miracles with the medical students and doctors who were at a picnic nearby who ran to help and had the training that was needed. It seemed God had everyone right in place to help Jon rescue the children. Sam survived with no issues, his eyes didn't even get any infection from the water. Selah survived despite what every doctor said to us in the beginning..so we have been blessed in many many ways. Just typing this, has encouraged my heart and spirit. We serve a good God. How can I but trust Him??? I will not question God foolishly...I will not turn my back on Him. Even if He doesn't do what I want Him to do, I still am going to say I serve a faithful, good God! I can trust Him!
In that vein....I was going to save this for later but it seems to fit nicely now.......
(I may lose some of you now....but...)
When we get home, we have some requests....If you come to visit us/Selah, do not come because you think you are the one to "pray the prayer of faith" don't come arrogantly demanding that God does this or that because I will stop you and ask you to leave. Respect our theological viewpoint that we trust God, we don't tell the God of the Universe what to do. We aren't "speaking Life" or claiming anything, we are not "name it/claim it" and never have been. We believe we try to interrupt scripture within the context of the Bible and take the whole bible in context, not just little bits and pieces. Don't come unless you are going to be with us for the long haul. This is going to be a long walk and we don't need any "fly by nights" coming in and doing their christian voodoo...If you're not going to be there for the long haul, with us don't bother coming. I don't mean to sound mean or nasty but I'm at a point where I am very focused and I don't need to have to deal with anything or be fakey polite.
Also we have had someone come and pray for Selah who prayed that she would be healed and totally "normal", with none of the delays she had before the accident. That REALLY bothered both of us. She was PERFECT to us before the accident! We chose her and Sarah and felt like we were getting beautiful little hidden jewels! She is still perfect to us but so far away and we miss her! The point is Selah (Sam and Sarah) were made by God and we were not and are not ashamed of their delays/mental retardation. They are beautiful to us and we love the way God allowed them to be born. I can't imagine any of them being any different. In the beginning with Sam we did ask for God to heal his mind but we quit praying like that and I believe we began accepting that Sam was fearfully and wonderfully made JUST the way he is! His DNA is so unique that I just have to believe that God made him that way. You may not believe like we do, but do not disrespect what we believe. We live this life, not you! God gave him to us and allowed us to adopt these perfect girls! They might not be perfect to you and it may bother your theology that we accept them just the way they were born mentally. I've yet to read/hear of anyone EVER in history who was born mentally retarded (and no the word mentally retarded does NOT bother me IF it is used in the right context) and then healed later. Can we just accept that God creates us all differently???
Now I can pray that God heals Selah from the affects of the accident and maybe that doesn't make sense to you but if you can accept the bible says in Psalms 139 that we are all fearfully and wonderfully made then that does two things for me. One it lets me know that the children are fearfully & wonderfully made. Two, we want to see her come back to where she was, where God made her.
Maybe God allows children to be born different so it will teach us all to be more accepting of others and more loving. As a society, we are only as good as how we treat our "weakest" members I didn't understand that until I had Sam and then found what a precious Joy he brought to us. His life keep us tender.
You may not understand what I'm writing but we have dealt with some CRAZIES since Sam was born and I've a bit tired of craziness! It's only gotten worse now and I'm done with it! Someone just cornered my husband and told him it was up to him to get Selah healed....wow...that really puts the respondisibity on my husband huh? Good thing #1 was that I was not there.....LOLOL #2 that our trust is in God not Jon's or anyone else ability to "get Selah healed"
Do people not realize some of their theology is NO different than voodoo??? Really...when you think you can manipulate God (or a god) then you have more power than God. So if you think by reciting certain scriptures or singing certain songs, praying certain prayers a certain way or whatever will make God do what you want, then your faith is no different than someone who trusts in voodoo. There is no formula to get God to do what you want. Is it so hard for us humans to just sit back and let God hold the reins of our lives? Can we not trust the Creator?
I'm not saying God delights in tragedy or causes it but we live in a fallen world, these are the effects of sin. Death reigns in our mortal body. I don't think God caused the accident nor do I believe it was "Father filtered" (dear God deliver me from silly christian slang that makes me want to throw up) (Father filtered means that God only lets things happen in our lives that is filtered through him, basically meaning He puts his stamp of approval on it...weird way of thinking to me!) I believe based on scripture that things happen in life, God knows what lies ahead and in His mercy may prepare us and He will certainly walk with us through it. I don't believe God micro manges our lives but I believe that He does bless us in ways we don't even understand. There is a balance there and I am trying to stay right there, in balance. ( maybe at some point I'll discuss Arminianism vs Calvinism which are the two main thoughts of Protestant churches.....we are Arminianist believing in the Free will of man and that God knows in His Foreknowledge but He chooses to limit Himself in His dealing with man by not making man into robots that are preprogrammed) Most of the discussion between the two camps are more in regards to the issue of salvation but for me it goes much further than that. I'm not sure I can explain this subject clearly at almost midnight....but I'm sure I will revisit it again!!! The reason I feel I need to share this is a forewarning to be honest...disclaimer here...if you act crazy from this point on, you will be stopped!
So if you are still my friend....let me know:)
This evening I drove down to Mt Morris to pick up our friends' son to spend the night with the boys. I dropped them off at Laser Tag for them to play a couple of games. We have some sweaty happy boys:) Driving to Mt Morris is the furthest south I've been in 6 weeks! It's such a beautiful area, rolling hills, fields of corn...cute little Village...
Oh, Yvonne....on the same page as you are with the christian hoodoo...I am so blessed to read what you have written and yes, I am still a friend...don't know you, but know how you think and am blessed to be able to read your post...
ReplyDeleteI will continue to pray for all your requests and whatever the Lord leads me to pray for you and the family.
Have a great day today, Sat. and get some sleep...
Love from NC
AMEN YVONNE and yes I am your Texas friend but I do think that friends think alike 90% of the time. I want you to know is my prayers for LaLa is that she is restored to the happy girl that you had at home before the trip. I am amazed at how "dumb some christians" are in their thoughts on healing--grrr. God works in His time and His way and no one can change that, sorry but there is only One God.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you about people coming for "show" and I wish I was closer because I would love to come read to LaLa & the others. God blessed you with a beautiful and special family that only belongs to you. I pray that you continue to embrace what He has given you. I was so blessed to have found your blog. You give me lots to think about!!
Hugs for the Wonderful "Momma Bear" and much love from Texas!!
Julie
oh Yvonne, I SOOOO know where you are coming from! There were so many people who flocked to us when Madison's accident happened that were there just to listen but there were some of the crazies too that told me I had to pray a certain way if I wanted her healed and there were 4 or 5 of them saying it but each had different ways. I heard some REALLY crazy things during that time and it really upset me! I already felt that everything happens for a reason and God was there with us and would do what was best in His plan....I didn't need people telling me that if I didn't pray a certain way, God would not heal her. It was frustrating and hurtful. So anyway, I understand! Anyway, I have offered my ear since the beginning and you have not been ready to talk (which I get because I didn't want to talk to anyone with a near drowning child either in the beginning) but you WILL get to that point and I hope you will contact me. I've walked in your shoes and continue to today and would love to talk with you when you are ready. Stay warm in NY while you are waiting to return to FL!
ReplyDeleteYOu do know what I am saying...I will call you when we get home thanks
DeleteThank you for your post. I am still your friend. Thank you for being bold in your beliefs. Blessings! I agree with everything that you said 100%
ReplyDeleteYour life, your family, your choice! I completely respect your beliefs. Sending many prayers and much love to you and your family.
ReplyDeleteJohn MacArthur had a great sermon on this exact topic that I listened to on my walk yesterday. I don't know if the timing of the sermon and your blog post was meant for me or for you :-) but I had to mention it! You can access it on the Grace to You website if you want to listen to it. BTW, I grew up in Rochester and then moved to Texas with the Air Force. We have been in TX for 16 years and I STILL miss Rochester! It is a great city (but you already knew that!). I will continue to pray for Selah and your entire family.
ReplyDeleteJohn MacArthur had a great sermon on this exact topic that I listened to on my walk yesterday. I don't know if the timing of the sermon and your blog post was meant for me or for you :-) but I had to mention it! You can access it on the Grace to You website if you want to listen to it. BTW, I grew up in Rochester and then moved to Texas with the Air Force. We have been in TX for 16 years and I STILL miss Rochester! It is a great city (but you already knew that!). I will continue to pray for Selah and your entire family.
ReplyDeleteThankful to hear that Selah's dental surgey went well! Our oldest daughter had a mouth like that when she arrived, and a one-day surgery was easier than six or seven separate dental visits.
ReplyDelete:-) Still your bloggy friend! Very much with you on the "voodoo" thing, though I hadn't thought of it before in those terms.
We had to disrupt an adoption a few months ago, the adoption of a sweet girl who was bitterly unhappy about having been adopted, and she is now much, much happier in her second family. Some individuals suggested to us that God had intended since the beginning of time for this teen to be in our family, and that we were going against His will for her life and ours.
I did not feel that God had pre-ordained our emergency adoption of this teen who was about to "age out" of her country's orphan care system. Rather, I felt that when we agreed to do it, He helped us (in every way) make it happen. And then when the girl went into shock and depression and anger over unexpectedly being adopted when she thought her life in the rather nice orphanage was going just fine (she was the oldest and had the most freedom and privileges), and she could not adjust to our family, and a second family came along that was just right for her, I didn't think that was ordained since the beginning of the time. I think that was God's answer to thousands of people around the world praying for our family and for this precious girl.
I explain my limited understanding of God's will like this: a father walks through a field with his nine or ten children. He knows that some will obey him and avoid dangerous parts of the field, but some will probably run ahead recklessly because of their age or temperament, and they'll stumble and fall -- he even knows WHERE some of them will likely fall, because he has walked that field many times. He is there to help his children and to encourage them not to walk near the rocks or the gopher holes or wherever the problems are more likely to be. But things happen, and he is there to pick up those kids and help them. And then maybe a few unexpected things happen -- a coyote dashes across the field and freaks out all the kids! Ha! Anyway, the father's goal was that all of the children would cross the field, and when the unexpected happens, he adjusts and helps the children overcome whatever the problem is.
OK, I'm probably moving into something dangerous with that analogy, suggesting that something "unexpected" could happen in God's field, edging too dangerously close to suggesting that God is not "all knowing," but I do think it's very possible that God directs the big movements of what's happening in life and then deals with the smaller details as His children come to Him and ask for help. OK, I'm probably a flat-out heretic for thinking that. But I do think it.
One other thing. I'm not a touchy-feely kind of Christian who tends to "receive messages from God," but as I was sitting here reading your post and praying for Selah, a strong feeling came over me that she is going to be okay, someday back to who she was before the accident. I don't know -- maybe I shouldn't have shared that -- I don't want to be offensive! But seriously, I felt like God was comforting ME as I grieved for this little girl I've never met. I felt like He was saying to me that it may take time, but that someday she will be okay.
Sorry for the long comment. :-)
Blessings,
Shawnee
I think what you did for your daughter was great! You rescued her and then helped her to get to a family that fit her! I think disruptions are a part of adoption and you all were wise to work things out. God used you to help her!
DeleteYou are the 2nd person today to send me something like this that someday, in a litttle while, Selah is going to be ok. I don't blindly accept things (you think? lol) but it is what I'm feeling for the most part even tho sometimes i get down.... thanks
If we lived next to each other we would be friends indeed...fantastic post! As always, thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteWe will continue to pray for Selah.
Looking for His glorious appearing...
Angie
7lookingup.blogspot.com
As a Christian and as a human being, I have to be very honest and say that this post was very difficult to read. You are very blunt in your words and when they come across as attacking and yes, mean, it does not glorify our God in any way. Each person who walks with Jesus has their own way of praying and worshipping Him. To tell people that you will ask them to leave, because you don't like the way they pray, sounds very unkind. As sisters and brothers in Christ, we are taught to help others. I see the changes in your lives as being huge and I can only imagine that folks will want to continue to reach out to help your family, especially when you get home and your life will change yet again. I hope that your heart softens and that you will welcome those who reach out to you. I can honestly say that after reading this post, I would be hesitant to come to your home, for fear of being judged.
ReplyDeletePerhaps you have never been "the victim" of this kind of praying--but it is NOT helpful. It may make you feel good, but if all it does is discourage the one you are praying for (or the family) then who is it glorifying? Certainly not God!
DeleteI see Yvonne trying to protect her children from people who are there for their own benefit and not glorifying God. I think she has the right--and even the responsibility--of shielding her family from "false faith". Remember her children are watching, and she wants to lead them in the path that she believes God has set for them.
Being a Christian does not mean being a doormat for anyone. She is just asking people to respect their beliefs if they come to visit. She's not saying that people can't be this way--just not around them. That's setting boundaries which is healthy.
Remember too, that "reading" someone's words doesn't always have the same tone that it would if you were listening to them in person. With everything her family has been through, I would truly give Yvonne the benefit of the doubt that she is a truly loving person--but she is firm in her beliefs.
You might think it is mean or cruel to say this but evidently you have never been subjected to craziness like I have because of my kids. We are in the pentcostal/charsmatic movement and there are some folks who unfortunately have doctrine that is "off" to say the least. I can tell from your post you probably haven't been around anything like I'm talking about and I"m glad for you. It's not a matter of "helping" our family. It is people who come in and want to pray and waltz right back out.... The ones that this could apply to will certainly understand what I mean. It's not that we judge every word someone prays over our child BUT we won't have false doctrine and what we consider disrespect to God "prayed" over our child in a fake piety. Actually the bible teaches us to stay away from false doctrine and the whole "name it /claim it" "health wealth and prosperity " is false doctrine to us and to most christians. Unfortunately through the ignorance and greed of man, it has taken root in Chrisitainty, specificly in the Pentocostal/Charsmatic movement. We've dealt with it as Pastors for years doctrinally but as parents of a handicaped child, we've dealt with some craziness for the past 9 yrs. We have gently in the past (gentle for meat least) tried to share with folks what the bible really teaches. I'm probably a bit beyond gentle at this point! I think I clearly stated our faith is in God not in someone's incantations! We are going to trust God for Selah's healing and we are going to walk this out in true faith, faith like the three Hebrew children had "our God is able to deliever us, but EVEN IF He does not, we won't bow...." So we don't beleive in demanding God move in a certain way or do something, we just chose to trust Him!
ReplyDeleteI would be honored to be considered your friend!
ReplyDeleteI understand a little what you are talking about--I have 6 different autoimmune/neurological diseases. When my son and I were in kindermusik, his best friend's mom insisted on "laying hands on me" and praying and then said she expected me to be healed by the next week! Needless to say I did NOT want to even show up!
I've had people suggest that I'm not "praying right" or God is testing me.....and it's done nothing to help my faith (it only hurt it). I've been rejected by churches because I'm "not healed".
In the same manner, my son has health issues (nothing like your kids) but I love him and accept him just as he is! I think that my illnesses changed the way I see people, for the better! And I know my kids are that way too....they ask about your family, and my son is so excited about meeting another Lego friend. I explained that Shad had a vision problem--because I would never want him to ask an innocent question that might hurt someone's feelings. And he's like, ok, whatever, I just want to play legos with him!
I'm sorry you've had to deal with "the crazies". I hope that I can be supportive to you and your family in a way that serves YOU and honors God. You have touched my life with your words, in so many ways!
Praying always!
xoxo
Dear Yvonne, "Respect our theological viewpoint that we trust God, we don't tell the God of the Universe what to do." Well said! I am praying for you all - asking the God of the Universe for Selah's healing, yes, and beyond that for God to draw you all more and more into himself, to give you the eyes to keep seeing Selah as precious and a gift in whatever condition she is in at the moment, for however long that is, and to continue blessing you with the opportunity to glorify and enjoy HIM. He is a redemptive God. Turning trouble into blessing, sorrow into joy, is what He does.
ReplyDeleteAs a Calvinist, I'd like to say that we don't believe that God has made us "into robots that are preprogrammed." I'm sorry if someone has represented Calvinism that way.
LOL In that statement, I didn't mean that that was what Calvinists beleive but that is how it sounded written down. I don't beleive Calvinsts think that. Many people in churches that have an Arminist background, seem to beleive every step of their lives are preprogramed, mostfolks don't know what they believe and they take a litttle here and a litte there...:) Thank you my Calvinsit friend!
DeleteThanks for encouraging me by being open about your struggles with people, God and circumstances. I am not a "name it/claim it" person, in fact I tend to ask too little of our great God. So glad that I can ask God for anything knowing that the answer can be yes, no, wait, or I have a better plan. The problem comes when I don't like his answer! : )
ReplyDeleteI am personally annoyed by books that promote specific "ways" of praying to get the most results.
How can I pray for you tonight? Please tell Jon that he has been prayed for as well.
Hey, I'm still your friend! and I agree with you too.... Peace these days.
ReplyDeleteHey, I'm still your friend! And I agree, too....
ReplyDeletePeace these days.