Thursday, December 7, 2017

Biological Family

As an adoptive mom sometimes it is hard for me to think that my adopted children have biological parents.  For me, I feel the absolute same about them as I do my biological children.  I'm not saying that to sound like some type of perfect mom, it's the truth.  But the reality is the Sarah, Shad and Selah have biological families.

In the girls' adoption we were given a little information on their parents, their names, birth dates and addresses.  We also know a little about their siblings, names and birth dates.  Selah has a brother and sister who were adopted in Ukraine.  One of her sisters was adopted in the USA and we have a little contact with her family.  We also know some information on how the girls came to be in the system and when they went into orphanages.  Ukraine allows parents to give up their children for several reasons so it is not against the law.  In fact it is often recommended to the parents if a child has special needs.

In China it is different.  It is against the law for parents to give up their children.  We do know the details of Shad's situation from the time he was found.  I was honored to be able to go to the very spot he was left by his parents.  My heart just broke, I cried so hard that even the taxi driver tried to comfort me.  Driving there my stomach was churning, once we got to the spot I got out and took pictures.  It was a busy area and believe me a big blond crying American got a plenty of attention!   What blessed my heart is that there was a police station only halfway down the block from where he was left.  That showed me his parents cared and wanted him found quickly.  It meant a lot to me that they took him to such a safe place.

For years I'd thought about looking up the girls' parents.  So one night I was waiting up for the boys to get home from the movies and I took all of their names and looked on Facebook.  I came up with someone I thought was related to Sarah and I sent a message.  My message was just something along the line of "We have an adopted daughter who has a similar family name.  Could you possibly be related?"

A few days later I got back a gracious response saying that he would try to help me.  Then I was asked if  I was speaking of Vicky.  My hands shook so much because that is Sarah's Ukrainian name.  I knew immediately this was a relative.  I wrote back "YES" and the response was "she is my daughter"  !!!!   WOW!

I had found her birth father!  We had a beautiful emotional conversation via Facebook messenger.  The tears were running down my face.  I was able to tell him how much we love Sarah.  He had some regrets but I was able to share with him that we actually knew how they must have felt when Sarah was born.  We had gone through the very same thing when Sam was born.  It was a very scary time for us.  I was able to give him information about Peter's Anomaly and how very rare it is.  They had no one in their families that had Peter's Anomaly either, just like us so they were shocked when she was born.  Also I was in Ukraine for almost two months and I realize that there are no resources for families with children who are blind.  I could totally relate to the feelings they had plus I know that families are encouraged to put their children into programs in Ukraine.

We have been able to share some things about our lives back and to.  I LOVE knowing a little more about Sarah's history.  I LOVE Sarah so much so I also love her father!  He is now a part of her life.  I send him pictures and videos.  I hope one day to be able to have some contact with her mother too.  I've seen a picture of her and Sarah resembles her very much.  We have to translate our conversations so sometimes it's a little hard for me to understand and I'm sure it is the same for him.

We pray for him that God will be with him and protect him.  We feel honored that we have contact with him!  He said that God worked out all the everything for Sarah and I feel exactly the same.  I would love to meet him one day-who knows?  Maybe we will have the chance!   I feel like he is our relative now.

God allowed us to adopt Sarah- He moved in all of the details.  What an honor that she is our daughter.  I'm so grateful to her birth parents for giving her life and doing the best they could do for her.  She is a true Joy. 

The last few days I've been so sick with sneezing and coughing.  Last night i went to bed early and Sarah started calling for me "mama Mama mama"  Jon had to play with her and take her mind off me:)  Then today I had a doctor's appointment and our sitter said she kept asking for me even though she was happily playing.   Once i got home all she wanted was to sit on my lap and wrap her arms around me.  She is just absolutely precious.  I always say if no one else loves me Sarah does:)   I'm blessed to be able to care for her now and be her Mama!

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